Hmmm....
GUILTY CONSCIENCE
I don't know if it is the devil that is trying to spoil my happiness again but all of a sudden I am beginning to feel guilty.
During uni days I had fun, dated crazy guys, I had 8 abortions. But after school and service now I have sense; I am working, doing my MSC then I met a great guy.
The type of guy that believes in Christ, for God's sake he doesn't drink, he doesn't believe in s#x before marriage and he is a pastor's son .
he honors his parents like E shock me that I can ever come across a good guy like that. We have been dating for 2 years and our wedding is in July.
The problem now is that I lied about my body count (although I have told him I am not a virgin o)and I lied that i haven't had abortions before .
Everything was fine but all of a sudden i am beginning to feel guilty. Like I have been avoiding him using work and school as an excuse because I feel I will spill and that is going to destroy everything because he hates lies.
Whenever we go to their family house I feel like a complete sinner like I don't belong there but I do who doesn't want a good and better phase of life, a Christ like kind of life. Is this guilt just a phase, will I get over it or I should just tell him. Trust me I have been a very good girl:
*you know what telling him will cause and you still came here to ask us if you should tell him? It looks like your village people have your address right?
Please go ahead and tell him so that you can mess up two years of invested emotions.......
He is a good guy and Christ like? You know wetin e do? Confession is only between you and God and if God has forgiven you, no one has a right to hear your confession.
Go ahead and tell him if you know you can with stand everything being called off,if you are looking for who will call you good woman cause you confessed, go and act in a Nollywood movie!
Poster is like your village people is on your case. Since you have sincerely asked God for forgiveness, and you have turned away from such life, I don't see any need to tell him.
ReplyDeleteIt the devil playing tricks on you, remember the devil hates the union called MARRIAGE.
Please whenever that urge of talking comes, just meditate in ur heart thus "devil go behind me cause Jesus has already forgiven me".
Good luck girl.
Poster NOBODY HOLY PASSH , you don’t know what he is keeping either, the fact that he is a pastors son and all that does not mean he is a saint. The society has made it seem like it’s only the woman who has confessions that should be made to the guy. Until the day you find out that he and his family are not actually what they seem to be , remove this whole spiritual/religious ish from your head and don’t let the devil play a fast one on you. Stop feeling unclean because they are pastors and what have you.
DeleteFrom experience, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, your confession is between YOU and GOD. I believe confession should be made if committed against a person e.g if u caused someone’s death or harmed the person in a grave way. Not in this sense of letting him know I have done abortions and all sort, do u know how many women he slept with and aborted for him but he is keeping it a secret just for his image and his parents?? Protect your own image too and talk to the only one who sees the heart and that is GOD.
Maybe u had abortion or not is not my business now. Have u even taken ur time to think if u will be able to cope in such environment because as a pastor's child u will have to play by the rules and from what I got from ur story u are a going out club girl before ur next Chronicle will be about how u cheated on him. Madam just move on and get ur type
DeleteStella hit the nail on the head!!
DeleteVery wrong advise from stella, that is even a good reason to annul a marriage if the guy later finds out you lied, even if you dont tell the guy nature has a way of doing things, that guy may end up being a beast to you he wouldn't even know why he is hating you but his spirit may not not let you enjoy that marriage, it is better you look for someone who will accept you with your past and have a free conscience and even the Bible encourages you to make peace with those you have offended before coming to the altar etc, imagine if in future he later finds out from somewhere else then the pain you have been running from will fall on you, it is even possible he had an agreement with God never to be with anyone who has aborted then you come with your lies to truncate his destiny, pls leave that guy and find someone who will accept you.
ReplyDeleteMake sure whatever you aren't telling him, nobody else knows except you and your God. If not, such things will come and truncate your joy in the future. As for your conscience, keep talking to God in prayers. It will get better.
DeleteHe'll definitely find out in future and I pity the marriage when he does.
DeleteIt's just funny how people still think they can hide things in this present world of social media, where everyone shares a mutual friend somehow..
Me I prefer laying all the cards on the table, let everyone know what he or she is getting into.. that's me sha.. and it gives me Peace and clear conscience.
If you want to go after hearing.. that's fine too.. no one should be forced or manipulated into going into something he or she can't handle
@Loveto
DeleteGod actually said that confessions should be made to one another and prayers for one another
for healing...James 5:16
so?
If God can bless a retired prostitute with a good hubby, will there be anything too difficult for Him to do?
DeleteOnly the truth can set one free.
What if he comes across one of your guys? Or he finds out somehow...he will hate you more. See eh, if a guy loves you, no matter your past, he will still marry and cherish you.
I just pray some LADIES WILL reduce their body counts and close legs to avoid feeling guilty.
@Mao
Delete"Reduce" or abstain, which one?
God does not judge an unrepentant sinner by "body counts"
he judges them for not repenting from their sins, e.g. fornication, abortions.
Lol @ go and act Nollywood movie. Madam poster you won't shut up and face your front abi? You want to form virtuous woman, how would you tell a man you've had 8 abortions and expect him to look at you the same way? Even as a friend, he'll avoid you. Abeg confess your sins to God and move on
ReplyDeletePoster, it's no biggie if you want to tell him but be sure that nothing can come out of it but pain and heartbreak for you. He comes from a family of pristine, righteous and sinless people? I laugh in Swahili.
DeleteI told my hubby my body count sha but that was because he too gisted me of his old bahd ways and I felt at ease talking but one day I was shocked how he threw it to my face. I pulled myself together and when the heat was over I reminded him he is worse but I kept quiet because I didn't want things getting out of hand. He appologised but I regret talking in the first place.
It's up to you sha.
Love is about trust. If he's all that you say, he too should be able to forgive.
ReplyDeleteSomeone once made a post here about secret fetishes and many cried wolf. But truth be told, we all have secret sins we hide from the world either because we are ashamed, desperate to change or haven't found the one person to talk to about.
If I were a guy, I'd love to be my girls confidant and vise versa.
Nobody is a saint. We try to attain sainthood by going the extra mile.
Before you make a decision, ask yourself "was my papast lifestyle blackmail worthy? " if your answer is yes then I suggest you tell him. God forbid a crazy past love comes forward to stalk, blackmail or 'repents'by spilling all your beans.
Of course, this is a 1 in maybe a 100 probability but you can be that 1.
There is no guarantee that your relationship will continue yes. But again you don't know if telling would have done it. At least he wi know how to pray and present your case before the Lord. You had those abortions in the times of ignorance. And God forgives in ways we can fathom. So actually you should have come clean when you had the chance. Not necessarily saying how many times you did. But supposing you marry and the children don't come and you have to go to doctors, I hope you everything will be be in the open.
ReplyDeleteIt would have been better for you to tell from the get go.
God has healed and restored many. Your case is not an exception. If you knew you wouldn't have towed that path.
Pray ask the Lord for wisdom on what to do.
Make peace with God,8 is on the high side but who am I to judge you.I have had 5 myself and I always wish I never did.just keep asking God for mercies and ensure you get a pelvic scan to make sure your womb is in a good order and get treated if the need be.i want to know if anyone ever confessed previous abortions to their partners.my first pregnancy was a result of fake contraceptives, i freaked out and told my about 4 of my friends.they got me a doctor to administer drugs to me.I still feel deeply ashamed and hope it doesn't come back to haunt me in future.i should hsve kept it to myself.
ReplyDeleteGiving your life to Christ; old things are passed away, you become a new creature 2 Cor. 5:17
DeleteStudying the Bible, fasting regularly, praying regularly; that's the way forward
Confessing James 5:16, for conscience sake to a future husband that Christ will bring your way
will give you peace of mind and confidence in God's forgiveness in your marriage.
Yes, I confessed to my spouse all my past that I could remember and vice versa
We were good and safe in each other's love in Christ.
I have repented of my past,i just always wish i could undo all that happened in the past. I am now born again though I am not there yet but i am striving to know more of God as for confessing, i had the mind to tell a suppossedly serious Ex about my past but I found out he is a chatterbox and blavkmailer that had lots of skeletons in his cupboard
DeleteStella is right. Some things are better left unsaid. Everyone has whatever they are trying to cover up. Trust me even that your fiance has a past he wouldn't want to disclose
ReplyDeleteIf truly you've found solace in God, you deserve a shot at good things too. Don't beat yourself too much over it. Find comfort in God, rem the word of God 'if anyone is in Christ,he is a new creature, old things have passed away, behold, all things are new'. Ofcourse there are repercussions but God is truly merciful. I wish you well
@Bussy 💋
Delete“Find comfort in God” while living a lie?
DeleteIt would have been better if she said the discussion never came up, but lying about it is another thing all together. Trust me more of it will come up and she would either have to own up to the truth or continue with the lies.
I get you Yvonne, it's the guilt eating her up but there is no easier way. Do you know the stigma that comes with people knowing your past and mocking you with it. People knowing about some stuffs can hinder your shot at happiness in life. She is already in guilt,pain and suffering (internal).
DeleteEveryone deserves a second chance, and in future, maybe, just maybe she would find solace in her man and tell him
But for now,ignorance sometimes is happiness
...people knowing your past and mocking you...
DeleteThe guy doesn't know love. If a guy loves a woman, you can't mock her with her past no matter what. Love is God and God is love.
Dear poster,you're feeling this way because in your heart you know you should have told him immediately the relationship was heading towards marriage.
DeleteI pray your marriage won't turn out to be like the Bv who confronted his friend on this blog for not telling him the total truth about his wife.
Pray, let God lead you.
Don’t ever tell him, for the fact that he is a Christian doesn’t mean he doesn’t sin, even d bible says there is none righteous , non not one , don’t let any oversabi religious person here tell u they don’t hide anything from their spouse blabla! He isn’t your God , so u don’t need to confess to him but if u decide to do, bear the consequences yourself , the reason u feel this way is because u think him and hi family doesn’t sin, that’s not reality and u know it !!! Everybody sins! Our sins only differ
ReplyDeleteShall we continue in sin that Grace may abound? Rom. 6:1
DeleteHe that is born of God does not continue to sin 1 John 3:9
I wrote these because you mentioned "bible said"
So because he didn't confess his past, you too won't?
DeleteAs far as I can understand, many people have lost their conscience. This is why they do evil without thinking. This is also why they think an intending spouse doesn't deserve to know about their past. How do you sleep at night knowing that you are living a life of lie to someone you claim you love just to be married.
How is she living a lie? She has confessed to God and did the guy tell her if his own secret? Pls rest
Delete🤣🤣😆😆😆😆 @ Stella saying Poster is looking for someone to call her a good woman. Virtuous woman indeed.
ReplyDeleteHehehe...Poster please go ahead and tell him then few years down the line you can send in another stupid chronicle about how he used all you told him against you. Why do some of you women loose your senses once you meet a man or hear the word, marriage? Why?
You honestly believe that guy has told you everything about him? Being in love doesn’t equate to being stupid please. You made mistakes in the past, you made peace with God now move on. God who gives the ultimate forgiveness has forgiven you, leave mere mortal alone. God not withstanding your past gave you a great guy like you called him, yet you want to make God a liar by ruining it all or you think God doesn’t know your past before bringing the guy your way?
What’s with this discussion of virginity and body count? Is it really necessary?
Anon 15:31 💕
DeleteIt's better you come clean, cos your secrets may come back to haunt you.
ReplyDeleteWho knows if he'll forgive you and go ahead with the marriage plans, if he doesn't then God sees that you obeyed Him.
Remember the chronicles of a former runs girl.
If na you you go forgive? 8 abortions o.
DeleteI second this too. For how long will poster carry this guilt??? E heavy for mouth sha. Maybe she should mention the number of abortions??
DeleteWell said twins squared. Most people think hiding these secrets from their spouse means the worst won't happen. Wait till he finds out himself
DeleteI agree a 100%. I would like to be happy in my marriage and not keep looking over my shoulders for what might pop up.
DeletePoster he might forgive you just like God has forgiven you and completely forgotten it existed.
I think you need to give your life to Christ. I'm saying this because it seems you both are on different levels spiritually that's why you are feeling like you don't deserve him. You need to clear your mind and believe that you do deserve the best despite your past sins.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you also need to talk to a professional to see what best you need to do, cause I don't know why you had to lie seeing that you want to spend the rest of your life together and also be sure you don't have any medical issue before casala go burst in the future.
Thank you Shay. She doesn't deserve that guy one bit if he is truly born again like she said. Not because of her past but because she is a liar. She needs to genuinely repent of her sins first. If she truly repents and God has spoken to her concerning the man, nothing will take her away from the man.
DeleteThat's why it is firstly important to develop a relationship with God so he can continually speak to you about anything you are to do. If she asks God and he says don't go, she won't even bother. But if he says go ahead, then no matter the confessions she makes, she won't lose him because his mind would have been thoroughly taken over by God.
Poster please, give your life to Christ. Ask him if that man is truly for you. If he says yes, go ahead and tell him everything. If he says no, break off the relationship.
You truly deserve another chance at happiness but do it the right way so you'd be at peace here on earth and in the life after.
But really which one of us deserves Christ? None ..God is gracious, He is not a man, and does not give us what we deserve. If any man be in Christ, He is a new creation, behold old things are past away...Poster, be guided...
DeleteIf he didn’t ask, it would have been a different ball game but he did ask and you lied, that’s a big sin.
ReplyDeleteYou’d have to come clean if you really love this guy and what if someone close to him knows about your past and decides to spill in the future? Think about this and pray for the counsel of the Holy Spirit on this matter.
If you truly love the guy and want a happy marriage please don't tell him because he will use it against you in the future and you will regret telling him the truth.
ReplyDeleteWrong. If you love him, tell him. It must not end in marriage.
DeleteOlomo will u marry her? It’s obvious she wants marriage and u want her to tel him, is he her God? If God forgave her what’s d point of telling him? Has he told her everything? He also has stuff he didn’t tell her
DeleteAda, if the tables are turned and the lady goes into the marriage with the man having something similar in his past (maybe girls did abortion for him severally, cursed him for rejecting them), would she be happy? Let's be true to ourselves here.
DeleteGet over it abeg,
ReplyDeleteThis guilt isn't going to go away no matter how you try. If this "good man" loves you, he will not call it off if you do confess. Scripture;
ReplyDelete"Confess your faults one to another and pray for one another that you may be healed..." James 5:16.
Healed of what? Exactly; guilty conscience, womb healing for fruitfulness, healing of your body from the consequences of past deeds etc.
He is a believer in Christ; right?
Are you one? If you are, then follow the Scriptures and not advice from non-believers.
So, choose a peaceful marriage or a guilt laden marriage and perhaps eternity. The choice is yours.
Very apt
DeleteGod bless you.
DeleteYour village people are playing by 10 10 with your picture omo x1m I picture your destiny
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, what you did in the past is gone and not a proud thing to say to him.
ReplyDeletePlease confess all your sins to God, who will forgive you wholeheartedly because He is not man.
Don't tell the guy if you truly love him and want to be married to him, because he will never respect you even if he decided to marry you.
Is the marriage more important than your guilty conscience?
DeleteNot everyone is emotionlly matured to process certain information . Forget all those born again ish , you don't how many girls in the choir that may have aborted for him before he turned a new leaf. Better be careful with what you spill because a life time may not be enough to take it back. As long as you are fine reproduction wise madam abeg face front
ReplyDeletejust close your mouth o and enjoy the man God has blessed u with
ReplyDeleteAnd what happens when he finds out in the future? Continue to enjoy y marriage?
DeleteWho will tell him🤷🤷
DeleteShey ode ni e ni? Na question o... Everyone on this earth had a past, it's just the degree of dirtiness that differs. Your boo also has a past but will never spill,afterall he wasn't a born again from the womb. Keep your mouth sealed and enjoy your relationship mama.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone has a past and dont impose a past on the guy, some people are clean for your information.
Delete@Anon 17:26, mmmmh, some people are clean and do not have a past? Please show me these people..are you sure they are not aliens? Because from where I am standing there is no redemption for such people "Who do not have a past"
DeleteMy pastor said, so far a guy knows you're not a virgin and he accepted you like that, he shouldn't even concern himself with your body count, all those men belongs to the last, leave them there, and face tour future, there's no way your opening up won't affect your relationship,are you even sure about his own body count? Abeg no go use your own hand to spoil your happiness o, you didn't sin against him but against God, confess to God and ask for God's forgiveness and move on
ReplyDeleteSMH..
DeleteThis is why I avoid people that allow pastors think for them.. their own brain is empty..
Does what your pastor say align with what the Bible says? Does it align with common sense and reality.. so you don't know that some things are worth telling..
Anyway, maybe you're trying to convince yourself not to feel guilty, you might be in the same shoes with the poster..
Continue
And the pastors won't be there when kasala burst.
DeleteWhat your pastor said is not what the Word of God said.
DeleteRead James 5:16 and learn that people should confess their sins to one another and
pray for one another that they may be healed.
If you don't confess, you rob yourself, your conscience and body of healing. That is why
this lady is having guilty conscience which medically can somatize to any illness.
Tell him ,he will still know later all those you did abortion for are still alive and they can show up later in your marriage in one way or the other ,pls devil knows how to disgrace people at the hedge of victory
ReplyDeleteI hope young girls are learning, dont do things you will be ashamed off, the world will make you feel it's okay but you will be alone with your consequences.
DeleteVery funny! So a Man U did abortion for in d future will come and knock on your door to tell your husband? Does that sound normal to u? A man will just come and start talking! Poster don’t answer them, u owe God not man who sins like u
DeletePoster i believe you have really found Christ reason while you’re having this guilty trip over your lies. Most likely the holyspirit convincting you.
ReplyDeleteI know you don’t owe him or anybody a tale about your past life but you owe him the truth. God is a very merciful God, and if He is the one that sent you this man, He knows your past and has decided to forgive you. No man can change that.
Don’t set out your marriage on a foundation of lies.
If you are sure this man is all you said and not a sanctimonious Christian, Find a way to tell him You lied about your body count. Pray about it so the holyspirit can help you.
Forget all these people telling you not to tell him, tomorrow when it comes back to haunt you they won’t be there to bear the heat with you. Also know that if he finds out from someone else in marriage it would be worse, trust would be gone plus he would be within his rights to file for marriage annulment on grounds of deception.
Though I have a problem with men who bother to ask women about their body count. It really shouldn’t matter what people did with their body in their past relationships before they met you. What difference should the information make?
Poster pray about it and be sure he’s really Gods will for you. Good luck
Like I did said in the past..
DeleteMost times, it's the lady that brings out the discussion of her body count just to try to look good.. maybe it's guilty conscience due to the guy not meeting them a virgin, I don't know.. but na them dey always won put a number onnit and end up lying..
She didn't state anywhere that it was the guy that asked.. it might be her that just 'shipping' the lie to look good.
Good response.
DeleteIn your last paragraph, I think everyone deserves to know about the past of those they plan to live the rest of their life with. This helps them know what they getting into and how to approach it when challenges come
So what will they do with the information when they know olomo?
DeletePoster, for your conscience to be on fire means there's a need for you to tell him the truth...
DeleteRemember, you lied you haven't aborted before and your body count...
Lay your marriage foundation on the truth. Don't start the marriage on lies and deceit. If he's the one, he would definitely forgive you...
Mind you, it's not everyone that had nasty and dirty past because of those encouraging you to continue lying...
Do the needful and have a clear conscience...
Poster e be like tears dey sweet you.
ReplyDeleteYour village people are at it again.
But I pray for you, This relationship must work,your mouth will not destroy you, you shall not shed tear of regrets in Jesus name. Amen..
See eh this prayer is from my heart so better say Amen.
It is only God you owe confession, as long as you have become born again and have been living a decent life since you have been with this guy, you should look ahead and stop looking back.
In my own case during uni days and nysc I already had 4 abortions, with over 15 body counts. Guilt wan kill me, I had to stay out of relationships, told a male friend about my body count. A very good male friend helped me with my last abortion. I don't keep female friends....
My abortions are top secrets which I will carry to my grave.
Finally I met hubby, during our relationship I told him I only had 1 abortion and 3 body counts, he believed. Now we have 2 lovely kids and happily married.
Poster let your secrets remain secrets and look forward and never look back no matter what comes your way.
Enjoy your marriage here on earth. But you see heaven? Lailai, no space for you there. Liars have no part there.
DeleteJechix as per God's judge wey u be bah? Abegi getout
DeleteOK sir/ma. 😂😂😂 @ 18:55
DeleteMy dear, if you need to confess, confess to God personally and move on.
ReplyDeleteGod has given you another chance....dont throw it away. Enjoy your marriage dear.
Thank God you still have a conscience.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, be ready for the worse. But remember that the worse is not the end of the world.
To clear your mind and conscience of all guilt, please tell him the truth about your past. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
Have you thought of what will happen if he later find out by himself later in marriage? How about if he's the one hiding a serious secret from you.
Please clear your conscience, tell him everything about your past, tell him you sorry for lieing to him. Ask for his forgiveness. If he forgives you, all is good, if he doesn't, move on at least, you have no guilt to die from
I wish you all the best as you ponder on what best to do.
God will not allow him marry you. He didn't keep himself all these years to fall into a web of lies.
ReplyDeleteHoly Spirit is gently nudging you to say the truth and save yourself but mba the demon that wants to disgrace is making you stubborn. Continue.
Follow Stella's advice at your own risk.
This is a chance to say the truth and be forgiven.
A time will come you wont feel the nudge anymore then suddenly one day everything will burst open and then he will hate you like a piece of infested rags.
If he is a virgin he has a right not to marry a non-virgin and someone who has had an abortion. Someone who has preserved themselves deserves to not not deal with certain things.
DeleteI am pro-choice and will always be, but I do not support the lying here. She does not have to tell him the number, because very few men could handle a woman telling them she had eight abortions, but she should have told the truth. This is no different to me that tying someone with juju, it's all deception to hold on to someone and removw their will at the end od the day.
If God gave most of us what we truly deserve, none will be alive today...it is good to be gracious, especially to the not so strong in faith.
DeleteOrdinarily, no suitor should ask of ur body counts or abortion counts.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it could backfire too, as u never can tell if the guilt of not opening up to ur spouse may make u TTC for sometime (I reject it for u in Jesus name).
But when there is need to spill(spiritual and biological needs), please spill some truth to him in order to avoid divorce. A broken engagement is better than the best divorce.
Such a spiritual person can see things later about u and confront u with everything you think u have been hiding. He too, could be into masturbation and deep lust, tell him to spill also.
U can't even pretend too long in marriage as those guilts will hinder ur spirit life and make u spiritually weak even when ur husband is strong in the spirit.
Do not spill when there is no need. It's hard to always remember how over 15 men have tumbled ur wife in bed and some have done it to her over 20times in the past relationships. Not to to talk of 5 abortions. No man would process that in peace.
May God give u wisdom to handle all this situation.
Same thing,though I told him I have had one abortion and 2 body count.
ReplyDeleteWe are getting married in July and he is a GP in the UK while I’m in Nigeria.
I dropped out of school but I told him I graduated.
Truth is if I don’t tell you I dropped out,you won’t know coz I’m smart.
Now he wants me to come over to the UK and start a nursing career.
Which doesn’t need any documentations from my university just my secondary school,I feel very guilty and at the same time,I’m so scared to tell him.
God help me
Na wa oooo
DeleteNo wonder marriages of nowadays have plenty struggles because most of u entered with lies. What is all this nonsense? As for u the poster may the holy ghost continue to hunt you till u confess don't go and be the destroyer of a holy home. 8 good abortions what were u thinking
Your own is different ! She doesn’t need certificate to prove she didn’t do abortion, poster u do be surprised what ur guy has done privately, is it not this life pastors sleep with church members ? Let people here be acting like they don’t sin, it’s we humans that grade our sins, all sins are equal before God! U lie or do abortion na d same thing for God and as long as God has forgiven u don’t tell him anything, many people did abortion and they didn’t tell their husband and no ex boyfriend has come to tell d husband , don’t let people here threaten u with they will tell ur husband, which mumu boy will just start talking like that? Na to put fear for your body, it’s foolishness for u to think that because he is a Christian , him and his parents don’t sin, everyone does sin!!!!!
DeleteTell him. You can fast and pray and study the Bible (especially Matthew 5 to 7) and get the assurance and courage to say it.
DeleteAssure him that you will gladly enroll in the nursing school in the UK that it needs
only your secondary school certificate. If this guy loves you, he won't be marrying
you because of your certificate but because of your personality; soul and body.
Any foundation of lies will soon collapse. Say the truth and the truth will make you free
ReplyDelete1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8...
ReplyDeletePoster you are in love that is why your head is telling you to cobfuess your body count to your guy. If you tell your guy your body count and how many abortions then you will be the one to cry las las.
ReplyDeleteYou better keep your body count to yourself, keep all your abortions to your grave cos men cannot be trusted. Once you open up the whole feelings I over and you will regret it.
I do not know if you are born again, I suppose you would have to so as to be marrying a pastor's son. Once you are born again your past is burned and forgotten. You are brand new and your current life attest to that, you are even celibate now. But you did lie outrightly to him. He asked you pointedly if you have had an abortion and you said no. He knows why he asked that question,and while I would not confess to having the number of abortions that you have had,since you are full of guilt you can sit him down and tell him that he asked you a question and you lied to him and let him know that you have to call off the wedding.
ReplyDeleteSome men do not care about abortions, but for some it a major issue. Things have a way of coming out later in life and trust me, should someone from your past show up and blurt out your history and humiliate him and make him look like a fool what you would have to face then will be nothing compared to what you do today. He may become a very high profile person and you get pushed into the spotlight. So go ahead and confess that you lied. You do not have to address the promiscuity because you already told him you are not a virgin. But starting a marraige off with a lie removes God's protection from the household. If he had not ask I would say keep your mouth shut, but he did ask and you lied. You don't have to tell him what you lied about if you do not want to, you can call it off without confessing the details. If you want to tell him you had an abortion that is up to you, but keep the number to yourself because you will be judged and judged harshly, maybe even be used for a sermon. Don't open any can of worms you cannot handle dealing with.
There are many great men on this earth, if you lose him God will still provide you another. It will hurt but your conscience will be free. Living a life where you are always looking behind your back or living in fear of your past showing up to haunt you one day is no life. Set yourself free and live free.
Thank you for a very sound counsel
DeleteBetter seal your mouth with super glue & go to grave with your confession. Are you ok? Tell him what? Has he told you his? Abeg, shift let me pass, jare!
ReplyDeleteMy dear, keep quiet. This is how I went into my marriage with a clean slate. Told my hubby (boyfriend at the time) that I was not a virgin and slept with a few guys. I never even gave him a number. I even told him when I slipped up while we were dating and made out with a colleague one drunken night. I wanted to be honest and put my cards on the table before we walked down the aisle. Years into marriage, one little argument and he calls me a whore! Brought up my past and called me a whore repeatedly. This is someone who said that he was okay with the past being in the past, who understood that ppl make choices that they sometimes later regret. So very understanding, Abi? Yea, right. My advice is to shut up and pray for your marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf you are tired of the relationship, tell him. But if you know you still want to marry him, better keep your mouth shut. He will never look at you the same way again if you tell him.
ReplyDeleteThe 😈 is seriously after you! face your front!
ReplyDeleteWhatever is hidden will be revealed today or tomorrow. It is better for him to know now and he either accepts or rejects you. Who told you that you're gonna go scot-free after 8 abortions - these are no mistakes at least 7 deliberate killing of innocent souls. Don't you think that finding a good man who loves you and you have been dating for 2 years and just when you're about to seal the deal is when your past is about to catch up with you? Don't it feel like abortion? Your aborted life that you should have allowed to come through. Now your dream of having a good husband and family is about to be aborted. Karma is real.
ReplyDeletePray that the guy can accept you as you are. If you hide it will eventually show when you least in expect it and your joy will be terminated.
I am not here to judge you, it is a fact that we must pay for our sins. God forgives but we must restitute for our crime.
May God give you the strength for whichever way telling the truth and shaming the devil will go.