There is also one essential thing I do each time I am with a client, which is to add value. This has ensured repeated business referrals.
However, I find myself in a quagmire sometimes because I tend to get very close to my customers especially the opposite sex. A lot of times, I am accused of not looking out for them or even saying just a “simple hello” on WhatsApp.
There is this single lady, Martha who is in her 40s that I have been offering my cab service for about 3 years now. She is from a wealthy home and she’s doing very well for herself in business. Once in a while, when she does not feel like driving, she requests for my services and I also help her do some deliveries.
Since the beginning of this year, she has been asking me to come over to see her at home as she has something very private to discuss with me. I have been skeptical about this but decided to finally give in to her request to visit last month.
While at her place around 6pm, I felt quite uneasy because she wore a very revealing skimpy dress. A lot of things ran through my mind but I just couldn’t put a grasp on what her mission was. She asked that we have our discussion over dinner and drinks as she had already prepared something sumptuous.
Hmmmmmm…….
We talked about things in general, joked, laughed and then she proceeded to ask me about my future plans in the areas of business expansion and when I intend to settle down to get married. I told her of my business growth plans and also told her that I am yet to find the right person to settle down with; not with all the “loose” girls one meets almost a daily basis in the course of my work.
(Abeg, I no talk say I be saint o…)
She then told me she really likes me very much but feels that I may not want to marry her because of the age difference between us. She said she does not intend to marry anymore as men have taken advantage of her in the past because of her perceived wealth.She said all she wants is to have a child as time is no more on her side. She said she carefully chose me because of my good looks and intelligence as she wants her child to be good looking and intelligent too.
She asked that we have a discreet affair and when she gets pregnant, she’ll relocate outside the country and take care of the baby all by herself. She told me she would support my business by getting me more cars and assist monetarily also from time to time.
I told her to give me some time to think about these things and will get back to her shortly.
I’ve not been myself ever since she made this offer as I have been having sleepless nights. Seeing free money and knowing my business can expand is a very tempting offer. Nevertheless, can I be at peace knowing that I have a child somewhere that I don’t have any access to? When I eventually get married, can I hide this from my wife and my family members that I have a child outside?
We talked about things in general, joked, laughed and then she proceeded to ask me about my future plans in the areas of business expansion and when I intend to settle down to get married. I told her of my business growth plans and also told her that I am yet to find the right person to settle down with; not with all the “loose” girls one meets almost a daily basis in the course of my work.
(Abeg, I no talk say I be saint o…)
She then told me she really likes me very much but feels that I may not want to marry her because of the age difference between us. She said she does not intend to marry anymore as men have taken advantage of her in the past because of her perceived wealth.She said all she wants is to have a child as time is no more on her side. She said she carefully chose me because of my good looks and intelligence as she wants her child to be good looking and intelligent too.
She asked that we have a discreet affair and when she gets pregnant, she’ll relocate outside the country and take care of the baby all by herself. She told me she would support my business by getting me more cars and assist monetarily also from time to time.
I told her to give me some time to think about these things and will get back to her shortly.
I’ve not been myself ever since she made this offer as I have been having sleepless nights. Seeing free money and knowing my business can expand is a very tempting offer. Nevertheless, can I be at peace knowing that I have a child somewhere that I don’t have any access to? When I eventually get married, can I hide this from my wife and my family members that I have a child outside?
Martha has been calling me almost on a daily basis to know what my response is but i am yet to tell her a YES or No.
Make i still dey think am!
*You be mumu!!!
Ozuor!
Ode!
Is it not the same sperm that throw away every time you gbensh those useless babes? So the people that donate sperms to sperm bank dont sleep at night?
What is the big deal with having a child that you will want to hide it from your wife and family? What kind of cupboard mentality is this?
Some people will come in here to preach that you should not do it, if you listen to them you be mumu..
I'm sure you've already donated your sperm to Martha, you just wan hear wetin we go talk.
ReplyDeleteYou're smart Sandra. Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you 🥴
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteOko Ashawo strikes me like someone who still has a bit of conscience. I don't think he will go ahead with the lady. He sounds troubled about this. Oh well, what do I know? Each Mallam to his kettle
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteFunny enough I think you should help her out but I also think you both should do it the right way (sperm donation) not through fornication.
DeleteI agree with Push up...
DeleteI agree with you push up, that way everyone understands it's strictly business.
DeleteThe fact that you are having sleepless nights over this means your heart is not at peace. My mantra is "If it doesn't give you peace of mind, don't do it".
DeleteWhy does Stella like attacking this guy?
@Anon 04:15 It's quite obvious OA is not at peace with this. My advice is that he should not go ahead. These things have a way of destroying something in the future.
DeleteI think Stella likes OA. Just leave her. We are used to get attacks 😛😀😃
Oko Ashawo, are you sure you are intelligent as you're portending yourself to be? See opportunity right in front of you and you want to throw it away?
ReplyDeleteI'm angry reading all the nonsense you spewed up there. What are you exactly afraid of? What's there? Chai.... I wish I had this kind of opportunity. I wouldn't waste it at all.
Oh well, continue to struggle when help is right at your door.
Nonsense... I dey vex 🙄
Portending?
Delete@Perxian, what does portending mean? 🤔
DeleteNo long write-up *** do it
ReplyDelete😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
DeleteStella Don vex. See tearing of oko ashawo veil of honor. Nna ehh, na real wahala for the living.
Oko ashawo would be more confused after this publication. Choosing between Poverty and opportunity..
Do according to your conscience. After these slides away and you don't get rich 2021,then you will remain mumu.
I hope you come back to say you have accepted the offer.
ReplyDeleteCommon,you loose nothing.
This is a rare opportunity,do not let it slip by
oko ashawo we need to see your pics on IHN platform o. you must be very good looking for ladies to throw themselves at you often and also gbensh you even when they meet you for the first time...biko accept the offer
ReplyDeleteSupported... Stella, we need to see his picture. Maybe I can also shoot my shot 😛
DeleteOko Ashawo don't have an affair with her but tell her that you are willing to donate your sperm to her.
ReplyDeleteThe most Complex B
What's the difference edakun.
DeleteOko asewo is not married na.
Infact marry that lady join and kiss poverty goodbye. I'm not saying you should marry her cos of money but she will open doors of opportunity for you as you are very intelligent and hard working,all you need is a platform to help you launch yourself which she is ready to give I presume.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind him. Let him be there and be searching for what is not lost right under his nose...
DeleteStella, useless babes? Really?
ReplyDeleteAnyway oko ashawo, let your heart lead you on this one. It’s very obvious you’re not comfortable with this idea and I don’t blame you. Whilst reading your narration and I came across her proposal to you, the first thought that came to my mind was: “doesn’t she know the way to a sperm bank”? And it’d be so much better and cheaper for her because she can literally request for specific physical and otherwise characteristics that she wants in a child and would be matched with a donor that possess those whether it’s height, eye color, intelligence quotient, blood type and so on and she doesn’t need to buy a car for anyone to get her request.
What if in the future she decides to blackmail you with the child or insist that you play an active role in raising it? She can drag you to court if the situation begins to get messy and she’d have the upper hand because you knowingly had sex with her and impregnated her, you were not coerced.
Please let’s not be blinded by material gains while making certain critical decisions that may come back to haunt us or that’d have lasting consequences.
May God bless you for this comment Snarker. Just mention money, and some people sense of reasoning will disappear.
DeleteOko Ashawo listen to this. This is good. Nice one Snarker
Delete@Snarker, this is a beautiful response. I love you 🥰
DeleteGood one!
DeleteBest advice .
DeleteWell written Snarker! It's a law in Lagos state now so men can't turn women to baby mamas and run away. If you are dragged to court for upkeep, nothing will save you. If you are so disturbed about it, it means it doesn't sit well with you so don't do it. The promises are nothing but promises until they are actualised. She could go to a spern bank, that way the guy would be completely anonymous but her coming to you means she still wants to know who the father of her baby is. The child can turn up at your door step in future. If you can't deal with that, again, don't do it.
Delete@ Snarker, you are right but you know the sperm bank thing feels very anonymous, if I were in the lady’s shoes, I will want it to be with someone I know and have a good rapport with, not because of blackmail but it will be easier to inform the child in future. Personally, I don’t think this is a big deal and I know someone that did this in the past, he doesn’t regret per se but he knows it wasn’t a wise decision.
DeleteMy advise to oko ashewo is to legalize everything, sign papers drafted by a lawyer that you agreed to donate your sperm to inseminate the lady so she can have a baby and you agree to give up all rights to the child.
Don’t have sex with her so she can’t sue you for abandonment, collect your payment and go with her to a fertility clinic and let them inseminate her with your sperm, once pregnancy is confirmed, you can find your level. I don’t think the payment should be mentioned in your agreement, seems like a violation of family law but the lawyer and fertility doctor can enlighten you better. Good luck.
Guys pls I want to ask, can someone get a government job with a pass degree? I have someone willing to give me a good government job but I'm scared to present my result as I don't want any embarrassment or disappointment... Also if I do get d job will it affect my job or future chance of promotion or career growth... I'm already taking a second degree and in another 3yrs il be done.
ReplyDeleteYou can get the job but get additional professional certificate for back up..
DeleteSecond degree for 3years? Abeg which course is that? Just do what @OFFICIAL PRESTIGE advised and you're good to go.
DeleteWhat if you shoot blanks?
ReplyDeleteWhat if Martha has trouble conceiving?
What if she refuse to make good of her promises?
Look at you judging the ‘loose’ girls you claim to meet on a daily meanwhile you are a ‘loose’ guy too. 🤣 Cruise!
Exactly @your last paragraph. Pot calling kettle black.
DeleteCome to think of it,same thing these guys accuse ladies of,is what he's about doing.
Is it now save to say they just angry they don't get such opportunities? Cos they'll gladly fly @it.
#hypocrites#
@Shantelle, he acknowledged he's not a saint either nah. He's being sincere. I really like Oko Ashawo and the way he brings his stories. I always look forward to this column.
DeleteI'll soon shoot my shot. He seems like a great guy 🤦🏻♀️
Loose is too distasteful a word. If it was that good,he should have used it on himself. You think he doesn't know what he's abi? Dude is sneaky.
DeleteAs for shooting shot,oh well you ppl will shoot shot at anything,even a goat. EOD.
Shantelle, don't be too upright. The word "loose" was used in inverted commas. Haba, life is not that hard nah. Take it easy abeg
DeleteI stand by my comment,lets keep it moving.
DeleteGoodmorng and happy Easter to you.
Peace!
No mind Stella ohh OA, you are no mumu.
ReplyDeleteThere is peace in doing things the right way. You may not be able to deal with the thought that your seed is somewhere and you may never see the child.
In future, there's a possibility that the unknown child may be drawn to your known children in a sexual relationship without knowing. Please don't give room for incest. You don't know the kind of person that lady is. Her proposition may go south and leave you with bitter consequences.
I share the same sentiments with you Twins Square. Nothing beats peace of mind 🙏🏿
DeleteTake the offer
ReplyDeleteDont do it! One thing is to have a child somewhere, another is to unknownly impregnate a woman. One is forgiveable, the other is regretful. I pray u dont do something that ll cause u sorrow in old age. This world is a small world and incest is a taboo... It is a 50.50 , it can happen or not... But ur children ll never forgive u if it happens...
ReplyDeleteIf u must do it, KEEP IN TOUCH WITH HER AND INFORM UR FAMILY, WIFE AND CHILDREN TO AVOID REGRETS
I ji okwu 👍
DeleteDiscipline cuts across a lot Oko ashawo..
ReplyDeleteYou are either disciplined or NOT,no standing on the edge..
If she is good to have your child and give you money as a support for your business;she is also good to be your wife too while you both raise the child together..
You want her money but you cant marry a lady "in her 40s" ??
Most times I wonder how most humans think though...
I would never do it;and No I'm no saint either;but I believe that what is worth doing,is also worth doing appropriately..
I'm an Igbo Man yea,i need money as a human too;but my prayers everyday is "May i never bend my morals, or question my integrity because of personal selfishness or gain"..
@MARTINS
Thanks Martins. God blessed you with wisdom. 👏👏👏
Delete👍👍👍👍
DeleteAlright.
DeleteMan like Martin.
DeleteIf you do it,
ReplyDelete1. Don't hide the fact that you have a child from any lady you want to settle down with..
2ndly, you'll definitely be in the life of that child. Forget that talk of her relocating abroad and cutting you off. She won't. If not she would have just bought sperm or seduce you, get pregnant without you knowing and keep it away from you.
3rdly, you guys should have a written agreement. Be very careful of covenants you're agreeing to.. involve a lawyer to protect your interest.
If you don't do it, you still don't lose anything and you're not a mumu..
Don't do what you know you can't live with or what would make you feel miserable for life.
Think about all this critically.. and make your decisions. I can say one and you'll do the other Lol.. so na your hand e dey
Dante, I’m beginning to admire you. Voice of reason in a raging sea of hormonal, hysterical, unreasonable sheep. Critical reasoning here is critically low, I tell you.
DeleteDante, you've spoken well as usual. I love you, no homo. I'm a guy
DeleteLoL@15:06
DeleteI'm here for the grammar. Oko you sabi bookuru o
ReplyDelete😀😀😀😀😬😬😬😬😃😃😃😃
DeleteEl oh el!
DeleteMy advice, yeah, if you want to go ahead and do it, please get a lawyer to draft an form for both of you to sign. Tel her it’s just for the sake of safety in the near future.
ReplyDeleteNa wah oh. People on this blog have started to ‘afraid me’. Trying to shame someone into doing the wrong thing because of fleeting wealth. Dear Oko A, don’t do this! Having casual one night stands is one thing, donating sperm is another ( and fyi there is a reason not every single man agrees to donate) but knowing there is a child out there that you are not a part of their lives will haunt you if you have a conscience. Ask all these ‘ladies’ blithely calling you an idiot whether they would do surrogacy for a rich man using their own eggs and then never see the kid again and watch their mouth change direction. Don’t abandon your conscience because of money!
ReplyDeleteOko ashawo, if you can have a child by her, why can’t you Marry her? This is what I keep saying concerning those men who travel abroad and do akata marriage . Fall in love , use your brain and marry. What are you trying to defraud the government for? No need.
ReplyDeleteWhy not date her, consciously fall in love with her, treat her nicely, be faithful to her, let her establish you. Marry her and have children by her.
The Nigerian mind cannot comprehend this but there’s really nothing out there but what you have.
I was even listening to a sermon today. The pastor said if you’re down financially, use your head and let God lead you to marry UP. My dear, secure your future and marry UP.
If you want to help her have a child, let the arrangements be documented and let her establish you in stages. “Money for hand, back for ground”. Maybe even get a lawyer to draft the documents for you. She drops before she sees your Sperm. She drops when she gets pregnant. She drops again until she has done everything she said she will do. The baby might always be in your life (that’s why she observed and chose you). Before you marry another in future, tell them. Tell your family that you have a child too and keep in touch with her and the baby OCASSIONALLY
Sorry o but you can make yourself love someone you don't. It's not just possible.
DeleteOko I think that lady loves you cos if not, there are more than a hundred ways she could had gotten a child.
ReplyDeleteSee eeh, it doesn't matter her age so long as she is still able to conceive and bear children.
Tell her you can't stomach having kids out of wedlock and there's also no way you will Knowingly have a child without being in his or her life...mba nu.
So OA, tell her after having thought about it, you are willing to give it a try but only in the appropriate manner...that is, she becomes your wife.
Tell her you can sign a pre-nup so she doesn't think you are marrying her to get to her wealth. You will still keep your business and that if she wants to help you expand, it will be her decision.
I believe by the time you guys date you might end up falling in love and being together and happy everafter.
You no be mumu if you no do am. If it gives you so much concern then don't. I believe bringing a child into this world should be intentional. A child is not an accessory, business or a means to make ends meet. Think carefully about the pros and cons. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteNow then, my sons, listen to me;
ReplyDeletedo not turn aside from what I say.
8Keep to a path far from her,
do not go near the door of her house,
9lest you lose your honor to others
and your dignity a to one who is cruel,
10lest strangers feast on your wealth
and your toil enrich the house of another.
11At the end of your life you will groan,
when your flesh and body are spent.
12You will say, “How I hated discipline!
How my heart spurned correction! Proverbs 5
Why doesn't she go to sperm bank. The sperms have descriptions of the donors.
ReplyDeleteShe can even get Oyibo sperm planted in her, if she wants.
Please run away from temptations. What she will give you is nothing compared to
what she will take from you. Eternal life is so dear.💕💕💕💕
Deep down, you would have taken the offer, but fear of the unknown and what will happen in the future is making you worried abut the offer. For a start, age is not a matter when it comes to marriage, all you need is love, understanding, good communication and respect for each other, but if non of these exist, there should be no marriage tot. But if you finally decide you want to accept her offer, tell her you want to be in the child's life no matter what... which means, you get to play a fatherly role in the child's life and it will also be proper you let your family and future wife know about it. I dont see anything wrong in accepting her offer but let it be on a well defined terms. Good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteOn your death bed, will this arrangement bring joy or shame? Are you ready to tell a child that you laid with the mother for a car? Or for money? How many of the people telling you to do it seemed for this kind of "help" in their own lives? Why can't she pay for a Uber ride to a sperm bank? Why is she asking you to lay with her instead of seeking that you marry her, love and respect her and give this child a balanced foundation?
ReplyDeleteWhile cruising in the Rolls-Royce and living in the mansion, where will that innocent child be and how would you as a father feel ABOUT USING HIS OWN CHILD FOR MONEY??? OR what deceitful name are you terming this arrangement?
Since your stations in life are so far removed, who will question her if you disappear after she conceived or years after you can no longer ignore your conscience?
If you have a plan for your life, how many kids out of wedlock did you budget? How many did you plan to abandon? For money that fits into your pocket? Money that tears and that even you give give out? That is what people think is worth worshipping? And when people say poverty is a mindset, economists spew confusion.
Lay your bed as you want to lie on it. I really wish the ashewo you are considering doing with this lady would not victimise an innocent child. What a painful thing to be born of selfish wicked parents. Please protect that innocent child and face front. If you can't marry her and treat her like a queen, face front and stop poking karma.
Ask yourself, if this was a woman who needed your help financially and had not money, who would you consider the offer? If you had a billion dollars, would you marry her? So face front.
This comment makes a whole of sense. The best so far. Oko Ashawo, please heed to this advice
DeleteGbam. Oko ashewo I take God beg you, read this over and over. Do NOT accept this offer. God will bless you financially by doing it the right way and doing the right thing. Anon 18:04 thank you and God bless you for this comment.😘🙏🏽 ❤️ 💕
DeleteI think the lady likes you a lot. Dont bring a child out of wedlock just because Mr A did it or Sis Z did it. Did you plan and want your life to be like that. Having a child you can't see or take out when you have the means is traumatic.
ReplyDeleteThe question is... Can you love this lady and her flaws? If you can't stand her, please leave her with her loads.
You may decide to go along with her offer, what happened to the business in 10 years time, can she allow you to see the child? Ask God for wisdom.
And if the money you get from her amounts to nothing, can you live with yourself? Why do you think runs girls end up broke? Didn't they get millions from their hustles in their prime? Your breakthrough is about to happen and the enemy wants to block it through this. I don't see the value in this offer. If you can't stand the lady as your wife or in your life, don't do it.
ReplyDeleteI don't even think OA is that broke. This is an entanglement that will surely lead to premium tears. OA, this is obviously not giving you peace. Peace of mind is very important. Don't do it.
DeleteGod bless you 🙏🏿
Oko ashewo, give us feedback on your final decision please and don’t lie to us o. The truth shall set you free
ReplyDelete