STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROTHER WITH A FIANCEE; SERIOUS SIDE CHICK AND SEVERAL GIRLFRIENDS
Hello Stella. Thank you for all you do. I need urgent answers .
Hello Stella. Thank you for all you do. I need urgent answers .
My brother will be wedding in some days time. Meanwhile he has a live-in side chick that he's been dating for two years. The side chick leaves the house whenever the fiancée visits from Lagos.
My brother also has other girls he dates. His fiancée will continue to live in Lagos after the wedding cos of her job. I and his fiancée aren't close and I don't push for the relationship cos of what I know.
I am writing because I have decided not to attend the wedding. I feel like its a disaster waiting to happen and I don't want to be seen as being in support of his lifestyle. I have advised him to be faithful especially now that he wants to get married but he won't listen. And he and other family members are begging me to attend the wedding.
His fiancée doesn't know any of this. She just thinks he doesn't get along with me. Please bvs how would you handle such a situation`?
*Your brother is not a kid and if he decides to live so irresponsibly, then its his problem not yours...
Attend the wedding with a beautiful smile on your face and avoid making friends with any of the women in his life until he sorts himself out....
Typical, plus the yeye girls who hang around KNOWING he has a girl he's marrying soon. This life ehn...no one is worth having HBP over o.
ReplyDeleteAttend the wedding, take pictures, enlarge and put it in all his houses, they must see his wedding pics, who knows, you might be saving your future wife.
DeleteIf you can do without attending the wedding, do. Showing solidarity in his mess is endorsing it. Yeah, it is his business, but evil thrive where good people keep silent.
ReplyDeleteHe is your blood, but you owe him the truth.
Mystic, I love you, God bless you for this advise
DeleteI honestly commend your stand not to support his lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteYour brother is really treading on dangerous path. I hope he or his side chick or both don't destroy his family someday.
The sidechick get mind o. For how long does she want to be a side chick? Or is she there for the money?
Lastly, ur brother lacks self respect and control but like Stella has said, he is an adult and has chosen his path.
What if she doesn’t know ? He clearly has an enabling family that keeps his bad behaviour under wraps
DeleteAnon 16:15, how doesn’t she know and she leaves the house? Does he lie to her or what? Truth is, her brother is a full blown adult, there’s little or nothing the family can do except he chooses to change of in accord. I actually admire the poster’s stand I agree with Stella’s advice.
DeleteTypical of all these 'woke boys' 🚶🚶
ReplyDeleteAttend,eat plenty rice and dance your sorrow away. But be a neutral person to both your brother and all the 'chickens' and wife.I wish them luck
Do not attend. How to do people see evil and support it. Don’t be part of it. Call the wife to be with a strange number and tell her all she needs to know. Let her know that if she still wants to go ahead, let it be that you have told her all that you know. Make sure you use another person’s voice. Look for a random guy, pay him 3k and tell him what you want him to say on the spot. Let him make the call with your phone and in your presence and after that, pay him off and case closed. That way you have done your part. If u use a lady’s voice, she might think it’s a pained ex. So save your brother and save the lady. You are also saving yourself as well bcos nobody knows tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteBEST ADVICE
DeleteI once called a lady like this some years ago, babe abused the hell out of me, she said am a jealous ex trying to destroy her relationship. Then she paid for accommodation, furnished the house with her money o, Bros was claiming broke whereas planning wedding with another lady. She got pregnant for him, lost her job. Mr Man marry the other lady. She later went back to the village with her baby. Very nice lady o. My family met the said lady through the yeye guy.
Delete👏👏👏
DeleteWe get sensible and smart people here. Thank you.
DeleteBless you Anon 15:13
DeleteYour brother is just so irresponsible and He will reap what he's sowing. Just mind your business and stay far from all the women involved.
ReplyDeleteVery irresponsible. I wish she found a way to anonymously notify the lady when her brother proposed. This marriage like she said is a disaster waiting to happen.
DeleteI don't agree with Stella. Poster if it disturbs your conscience, do not attend the wedding.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteHe-goat Polygamy in action.
ReplyDeleteYou are so principled!
ReplyDeleteIf i were the one and my bro is the one living such careless and irresponsible lifestyle, best believe i will tell all the ladies involved.
Yeah, that's it.
DeleteSome men can be stupidly annoying. What do they gain from all these? To show the coward champion that they are? Smh...your bro might think he's toying with those girls but he forgot that he's silently jeopardising his future!
ReplyDeleteNigerians need to stop enabling the men in their family and their male friends. Because when it happens to them they get upset and go diabolical or attack the mistresses. If we know we can’t take it why do we enable others to do the same. We need to crack down on men who cheat (women cheat but society condemns it)
ReplyDeleteNne tell the lady biko. As a girl, I will never support any form of irresponsibility from my brother. Hell no!!
ReplyDeleteHe wants to eat his cake and have it.
Imagine a girl coming to be traumatised all in the name of marriage.
Mba oooh... Tomorrow now, they will start blaming the wife and telling her to keep her home?? Which home..
Biko save a babe from impending doom. I love you already! !
Yeah very principled lady. I am happy we have people without a dead conscience
DeleteHe might stop after saying I do...
ReplyDeleteAnon let's be honest. He will not. A man who is getting married in a few days should be setting his house in order. Rather this one continues to have a live in side chick and other girlfriends. This is just an irresponsible man. To think himself and this poster are siblings. Obviously cut from diff cloth. I pity the intending bride. If only she knows what's coming.
DeleteOdiegwu!!
DeleteAre you serious?
Delete😳😳😳😜
DeletePoster, mbok attend and plaster a beautiful smile on your face all through. In fact ehn, shock her and your brother with active participation in the ceremonies. He is your "brother" and it's his day. Nothing concerns you with calling his fiancée anonymously to report sh*t, inugo?
ReplyDeleteHaving multiple sex partners is not a criminal offence in Nigeria or anywhere else that I've heard of. Just advice him to be using iron-condom. It's the duty of the fiancée to do her findings before marriage; so, there's no way she wouldn't have found out something if your brother is as "wayward" as you paint him to be. Maybe she already knows sef and doesn't mind or feels "he'll change after marriage" *I laugh in tongues*.
Years down the line or maybe sooner, your brother might change his ways and the only thing his wife would remember about you is that you didn't attend their wedding because you didn't approve of her. Then she will pass the story to her kids and so begins the vicious cycle of family segregation and hatred. It's even worse if you are still single- na jealousy she go call am o. Thank God your brother's vice is not armed robbery or kidnapping. Would you have called her to tell her if that were the case? The women in his life go dey alright laslas. Who no fit stay again, make e waka. E no concern you. You are doing them a favour by trying to set your brother on the right path but that's not how a Nigerian lady who will be in a long distance marriage will see it o. Make person no leave your offending brother come carry your innocent name dey waka for this kayanmata era.
Later, if your brother doesn't change and the wife carry matter come, tell her: "Please don't tell me you didn't know of his philandering ways from the beginning o!" Then advice her to keep praying, wear sexy lingerie and watch war room. C'est finis. You can add jara by calling him in her presence and telling him "shebi you see why I didn't want to attend your wedding. So, you are still doing this nonsense!!".
Congratulations to you, your brother and your entire family. Please send wedding photos for our eyes only o. We love you.
Best advice.
DeletePoster,better attend the wedding to avoid been called hater in the nearest future.
You have told your brother, and he still doesn't want to listen.
Attend the wedding.
Baba for the girls.
ReplyDeleteThis your brother is possessed with spirit of lust .what exactly does he gain from these many women. I pity that his fiancee.
Why don't you want to attend? Better attend wedding, he is an adult by all means & capability,his private life has nothing to do with you. You are family and whatever he does with his body is not your business so no one can hold you responsible.
Nobody stops cheating after marriage. If
ReplyDeletehe cant be disciplined now then he cant be disciplined in marriage
Tell the fiancée anonymously to pay him a surprise visit. Your job is done.
ReplyDeletePlease go on anonymous mode and inform the fiancee
ReplyDeleteSupported
DeleteInform the fiancee, not anonymously. In fact,let your family know you would tell her the truth. If she decides to still marry him after hearing from you, you can decide to attend the wedding, i.e. if your brother would be cool with you attending.
ReplyDeleteYour story is close to mine.
ReplyDeleteLet me vent here..
My brother married yesterday,well I didn't attend..he married abroad to a beautiful lady,marriage is not up to 6 months...he is here in Nigeria marrying his pregnant girlfriend. I'm so pissed with my family. How can they let this happen
My mom is very much aware but everyone is saying nothing because he is super wealthy and has really helped out my family from middle class. My dad supports him with his full chest because he just believes one wife is not enough
Me I wont even raise the topic with my husband or even mention it,asides being pissed about this whole thing. How will my husband and inlaws see my family. If I celebrate this my husband will say it's okay to be polygamous and I will have to battle that the rest of my life. I'm grossly pissed. He claims that abroad wife was hunted that he might marry a second wife but doesnt know it's happening already. The Nigerian wife I'm even sure she knows but heck no...I'm angry my whole sees nothing wrong with this...I'm standing alone but I wont even discuss this or regard it as an event. He is crazy and I'm so fussed.
u brother e be pikin???
ReplyDeleteif he won cheat make e cheat but make E no go ruin another pesin life
if u no wan go sit down for ur oux
d way d thing go end u no go lyk m so just go tell ur brother fiancée be for yawa go gas u go con dey say y I no talk m since
Thank you so much Stella. I thought my message didnt get to you and I didnt know you posted it. May God bless you. Thank you Bvs for your kind responses, I'll be sure to give an update.
Delete