STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT HAPPENED TO ME??
Hello bvs.
Hello bvs.
Pls Stella I need advice. I used to be a very emotional somebody, as in I cry when I see peeps going thru pain.
if I have #100 and someone is in need I don't mind giving and won't have a dime. I can't stand seeing someone in tears, mine will start pouring like tap but all these changed since I lost my dad.
I was very close to my dad as an only daughter, he calls me his mum cos according to him,I reincarnated his mum. Then he died without enjoying my wealth. He died and all the empathy in me died too. Now when I hear someone I know died, inside me I'll be like if my dad can die anyone else should die I don't care.
I stopped helping people. Infact why I'm writing this is cause of what happened recently in a bus I was in.. A woman sitting close to me was making loud fone calls telling her callers that her dad died last night. she was just shouting, you know how loud you talk while in a public transport cause of noise.
I was very angry, I was like why won't she wait to reach her destination before calling the whole world to tell them her dad died last night.it took the grace of God for me to told myself, cause she was disturbing me with that call.. when I got home I played the whole thing and I was like but this wasn't me, what happened to my sweet self. what can I do to return back to my old self.
Thanks as I await your responses.
Awwwwww.come hre and take a hug.. Your pain is the reason you are like this now, maybe when you heal?
Life hardened you, it'll take deliberate effort on your part to thaw and lose the iciness. I've been there but I am fine now. GIVE IT TIME DEAR.
ReplyDeletePray you find healing, same with me after my mum passed on. Never felt happy when people had losses but I just couldn't be bothered.
DeletePoster yoyr feeling is normal. I realised i lost empathy after my mum died too. My granma died some years after my mum and i didn't even feel it nor shed a tear...when i hear someone passed, to me its 'oh well, if my mum can die, then anybody can so no biggie ' but just like you, oneday, i realised it wasn't right but theres nothing i can do...i think its coming from a place of loss/hurt
DeletePoster nothing is wrong with you. You're still hurting from loosing your dad. I'm in the same position as you. Since I lost my dad last year march I do feel pity for people that died or lost loved ones but I hardly shed a tear. I will just pray for the departed soul and move on.
DeleteI get you poster, ever since I lost my sister, I feel nothing too, no emotions.. I pray we all heal.
DeleteAwwwwwn.. bear hugs... Sending love and light to you... It's well!
ReplyDeleteBe committed and active in church activities. Join a unit in your local church, with time there will be a spiritual awakening in your life. GREAT ANON
DeleteI feel you are still dwelling in the past and everything that you have been through..Let it all go and you will be glad you did
ReplyDeleteOh dear! It's the grief.
ReplyDeleteHopefully with time you will return to your normal sweet self.
So sorry for your loss🤗🤗🤗
Poster, I understand you perfectly. Its as if I wrote the chronicle. I am exactly the same, just that in my case its my mum. I have changed completely. Hopefully I heal and go back to being sweet.
DeleteThank God I'm not the only one going through this..it's so overwhelming
ReplyDeleteGo for therapy
ReplyDeleteYeah Poster please you need to go for therapy..Come to terms with what happened in the past and prepare for better times ahead..It must really hurt and you are not as bad as you painted..And I am happy that you have a working conscience..Ehugs to you darling
DeleteTherapy 🥺🙄😏🥴? Have you guys ever lost a loved one? It's a natural thing she's going through and there's nothing wrong with her, she will heal with time
DeleteI can relate.This actually happened to me when I lost my mum.you will be fine
ReplyDeleteMentioning "the Grace of God" shows me that you are a Christian. So, I'd go to
ReplyDeletethe Scriptures.
1 Thess. 4:13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.
Hebrews 9:27 Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment,
So my dear, people die once, not twice. There is nothing like "reincarnation." See Luke 16:19-31 and read Jesus teachings about after life.
You should let go the memory and torture of your dead dad and move on.
God's Grace. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Anon 15.28 reincarnation is real. Deja vu etc shows that we've existed before. Open your mind
DeleteThanks Stella for the hug..I love u.And thanks for posting,I pray the advice I'll get helps.
ReplyDeleteChristians mourn by fasting, see the Scriptures; Genesis 50:10-11, Mathew 9:15
DeleteWerey dey always disguise no be only fasting abstinence nkor
Delete15.31 you are not terrible at all. The fact that you stopped at some point to reflect shows that this too shall pass. Time heals all wounds and we all are products of pur experiences.
DeleteGod bless you.
I'm going through the same thing, lost my dad recently I don't have empathy for anything, God help me.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your loss. You will be fine too, just take it easy. I pray Gods grace finds you. He will help you too. #Hugs
DeleteThanks @mark morgan.
DeletePoster i understand your feelings. Since I lost my parents nothing really move me . Come here and take a hug 🤗.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bola dearest,it is well with us😘
DeleteStella I don't think this poster needs a hug.
ReplyDeleteI think she needs someone to talk to and share her problems with.
Sweetie your dad died. It's a horrible reality but it happened. It was nobody's fault. Nobody is responsible for your woes.
You need to learn to live again
You're turning into a sadist and it's horrible.
You're becoming a horrible person.
You've already testified that that wasn't you so please give yourself a chance at life again.
Cry, weep, scream, shout, but please learn to live again.
It's the pain of your loss that is making you feel that way. When I lost my sister suddenly, I became extremely cold and uninterested in other people's problems or feelings. Because I believe in God, I had to make deliberate effort by praying for a heart that care again. I initially lost my trust in God or that He exists, so it took a while to get to a place where I could even pray to God.
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine but as along as you are conscious of your lack of empathy for others and being intentional about not making it a permanent personality, you will eventually get out of it. May God envelope you with His love and heal your heart.
Same with me. I became cold after I lost my brother in 2019. I am still struggling to trust God. I hope to get to where you are with God. It is not easy.
Delete🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteSame way i lost faith in God when my mum died. Like i literally stopped praying, disliked Christian music and felt irritated at the mention of the name "GOD"
ReplyDeleteE hugs poster. Have you tried conselling or therapy? it might help. dont stop being nice
ReplyDeletePoster you just described me i am so emotional that even if i am watching a movie i will start crying. I don't like seeing people in pain or someone suffering. I lost my dad when i was in Js 2 my Dad used to work in Nnpc we were comfortable enough, but when my dad died everything was taken away from us and we suffered. I went through untold suffering because i and my eldest sister had to go stay with relatives and i knew what life is i saw hell but i am grateful to God that didn't change me it made me much empathetic to people cos i know what is like to lose everything and have nothing, i know what is like to go to bed hungry and many others. Pls take solence in the fact that your dad is in a better place and heal no matter what don't become a horrible person.
ReplyDeleteDealing with a loss especially that of a loved one can be so emotionally draining. But you have to give it time and understand that he is gone and wherever he is, he expects you to still be the loving person you once were. Its a painful loss yeah, you would cry and miss him a lot sometimes, but be rest assured he wants you to keep being your loving and caring self.You will be fine. I understand you clearly, been there. Don't worry. All will be fine again. #Hugs
ReplyDeleteMay God heal ur heart poster,it’s not easy give it time ,all will be well,i and my dad were not so close but we lived in the same house for 20something years.he died early this year and iv not bin d same since he died,I know what it feels like to loose someone.u will be fine again,take some time out,travel,take a break from work,change environment for a few days if u have a partner they can Go with u,u need to let go of the hurt and accept life the way it is.play,have fun,show love to others,pray too🙏and u will feel better when u come back,
ReplyDeletePoster ask God from the depths of your heart to return u to factory settings he will answer. I remember when my mother inlaw finished me with her mouth over a joke I just joked, I felt like sinking inside the ground, I went home and cried bitterly, my world became so bitter to me, the worst of it was my hubby supporting the mum just to please her, Instead of calming down the tension. I hated her so much that I knew if I didn't seek help the hate would destroy me. I knelt down with tears in my heart and begged God to help me forgive her,when I started laughing with her and loving her once again, I knew not.she later gave me a gift,as an apology even though she did not say sorry, but I understood what the gift was for. So dear poster prayer works, try it and see.
ReplyDeleteThank u so much 😍
DeleteU are welcome
DeletePoster as someone who had grief I didn't attend to for so long, I would say, you need to grieve properly. Grief can be so hard, but we must come to terms with it. I am so so sorry for your loss. I am sure your dad will not want you to loose your kind self and heart. He would want you to have empathy. My advise is grieve properly. It will help you. All the best.
ReplyDeleteEeya,so sorry about your dad. Please try n go for therapy,it will help. Sending plenty hugs🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteI pray God heals and comfort you.
ReplyDeleteIt is not easy to experience a loss.
...When your dad died, did you ever talk about it, about him, about how you felt with anyone? Was your dads death the major life altering event that happened to you at the time? Do you think people showed you enough support then?
ReplyDeleteI think the major issue is you have not 'unburdened' yourself. You have suppressed anger. That is in itself somewhat natural, pain sometimes come with anger.
As selfish as this may sound, all humans unconsciously have that " why did this happen to me (us) at the back of our minds. You will take it out on anybody/anything, God,family, even strangers.
...but bad things happens to the best of us and the worst of us.
Your healing has started already, you realizing that the pain has built anger in you, and it is changing you. Pain never leaves us the same. However, you have the power to channel that anger into something positive.
Your second stage of healing will come the day, you become vulnerable with somebody you trust, who actually shows you empathy. That day when you break down and cry, talk about your dad, feel the pain afresh the day he left, talk about the fond memories. When that day arrives, you will be as light as a feather. Cheers!
Hi poster, time they say heals all wounds. So with time you will heal, am sure you wanted to take care of your dad soo well and then death came impromptu and you feel unfilled.
ReplyDelete(1) let it go, your dad is gone and gone forever, the time lost can never be regained.
(2) you did your best, there's absolutely nothing you could have done differently and don't worry your dad appreciates the much you did for him.
(3) all we have is the present and a hope for the future, channel your energy towards your family - husband or wife and kids and be the best for them.
(4) do not go overboard for people. Do what you can and leave the rest to God and expect nothing in return, remember those you help may never be of help to you so just do what won't stress you with a clean heart and a pure conscience. So give with wisdom, you musn't give your last card
(5) never forget the saying 'givers never lack' whatever you do genuinely from a pure heart no matter how pure will come back to bless you.
This got me all emotional and the tears won't stop flowing. Thank u so much,I'll try my best.
DeleteFor me it was the opposite. I felt very sorry for people going through grief/loss or emotional suffering of any kind. I felt much worse if the deceased left young children...
ReplyDeleteSame with me, I now cry for people I don't know sef, especially young people.
DeletePoster same thing is happening to me.
ReplyDeleteBut I wasn't as soft as you are/were.
Infact before my father died last year, he lived a troubled life,circumstances beyond our control dealt him a complicated blow, for years we prayed that things turn around but nothing happend, at some point we even prayed for death cos it seems that was the only solution to the misery. Finally death came and everything changed, I feel nothing when someone I know or a lil close to dies,when I hear someone is suffering I feel no sympathy,I even feel like they are disturbing me with their matter, like it sounds like unnecessary noise to my ear and I get iritated.
But once any part of my immediate family falls ill or something not nice happens its like a dreadful thing for me to hear or feel, it feels like the world is nothing & is coming to an end. But I thank God and hopeful nothing will happen to my loved ones again.
Poster same thing happened to me after my mum passed on..I don't even care about anyone again but recently,I have been forcefully giving out to people again..I keep praying to God to ease my pain..it is over two years but I still can't sleep well every night because of my mum's dead and as for empathy..I actually feel sorry for those who lost their love ones because I have been there but I don't care about the rest of the humans..I just feel like my mum suffered a lot and never got the chance to enjoy anything from me..
ReplyDeleteI have a friend like that. She once told me that hardship has made her lost her sense empathy. "Annie I couldn't cry when I lost my father bs I have seen it all".
ReplyDeleteHmmmm poster, I can relate with your experience. Shortly after I lost my parents, I lost my hubby. Death started sounding like a normal occurrence. Thank God empathy is gradually coming back. You will be fine. Recognition is the first step and that you have taken.
ReplyDeleteSending you loads of hug Cutejay, I pray Gods continuous blessings, healing upon you.
DeleteSending you loads of hugs Cutejay, I pray Gods continuous blessings, healing upon you.
DeletePoster you need to accept what has happened and move on. You have to heal from your pain.
ReplyDeleteI can relate, but mine is, I do feel sympathy when someone dies,the only thing losing my mum made me believe no one is here to stay with me Forever.
ReplyDeleteI easily let people go,saying moreover they will still leave eventually, it made me not to attach so much emotion on anyone, Until i met my husband, i started feeling that same love i had for my mum.I believe when I am with him, nothing can harm me, I know is weird, but he brought me back,back to absolute PEACE. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I PRAYED FOR.
Nkem I know you will see this, thanks alot for coming into my life, God in heaven will Shower you with his blessings all the days of your life, just know I see all you do for me and your son,I don't have much to give you,but my Sincerest PRAYERS,I LOVE YOU EACH AND EVERY DAY, DON'T WORRY THE WORLD WILL HEAR OUR TESTIMONY SOON.....
Dear poster we all process our grief differently,and I have experienced such before after I lost my twin girls 3 months after birth through C.S when I was still healing after which I hated seeing people's kids/babies,never went for any celebrations be it birthday parties, child dedication or anything that will make me see babies/children and I won't visit you if you just had a baby or pretend to be happy for you, I was that COLD!!! To make matters worse I birthed another baby that I also lost and that made me stay away from everyone and closed my heart to any emotional attachment. It took me 5 years but now I don't 'hate' seeing kids.
ReplyDeleteSending you so much love, may God heal you Anonymous 22:14, your joy shall be full, people from far and near will celebrate with you in JESUS mighty name.
DeleteYou're the real MVP, I salute you.
You're blessed my dear 💓🥰
All I see is “Enjoy my wealth and public transport”
ReplyDelete