Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - UPDATE

Hmmmmm.......

She is Responding to this Chronicle

 Good day Everyone,

 I noticed a lot of people were saying 'when you render a favour do not expect thanks'. I was confused if they read what I wrote. I never said 'I got her a job yet she did not come over to my house to clean up neither did she lick my shoes'. I said I had a celebration and she did not give anything which is the norm. 

If she did not have I would have understood but she had more than enough to get me a mug. Mind you, I don't have a 'mug problem'. Even if I did not help her in any way, I believe, if I have you as a friend and I get you gifts on your birthday I expect the same gestures. Reciprocity is the keyword here and not gratitude because reciprocity shows you are valued. 

I guess some were fixated on what I did for her that they failed to ask themselves. 'If I had a friend who gave me nothing on my birthday would I continue to do the same for her overlooking the fact she was not reciprocal?' Healthy relationships are meant to be symbiotic. Anything else is parasitic and nobody wants that. That aside, there is something I have noticed concerning how most people perceive those who render assistance.

 It's like people are always trying to silence you up or try to make you feel guilty like you have no right to feel bad or complain about the least sign of displeasure after all you have it all, forgetting that you are human too. No matter your financial status everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated even parents want to feel valued when they do things for their kids despite it being their responsibility. It is human nature. I have written here before on a different post about different scenarios with different people who act like loafers and the responses I had always gotten by the few people who responded are ones encouraging me to overlook and continue to help. 

This is why I was happy seeing that Stella eventually brought it here where a lot can see it and give me diverse responses.

 Last week was the first time I got responses from people who understood me and where I was coming from and I grateful. Anyways, though I did let her know the date she picked for her wedding was marked for one of my official trips when she informed me about it before sending in the Chronicle considering I had already hinted I might cancel, I had to let her know it was impossible to do so after digesting all the advice I got here.

 Additionally, I let them know she would not be getting any cars without mincing words. I told her I do not give people my 'things'. That is the plain truth. If I had told her the cars she asked for needed some repair she would have asked for the others so I had to be blunt. I told her to ask others in the church to help with the cars because she was whining when I suggested she rented. She asked if I would support her in any way to assuage her wedding cost.

 I let her know I recently spent a lot on my wedding which took place just months ago. I haven't even gotten half of the money I spent back. (Which is true). Though it did not affect my finances in any way and I could have helped if I wanted to but I guess just like everyone else I also have my breaking point.

 This is why I always try to overlook many wrongdoings because when I am tipped over, I go overboard in my actions towards people and that becomes my default setting. I did not sit her down to talk to her about her actions because she isn't a child to be so obtuse. Just like me, she is in her thirties too and I am just 2 years older than her. So I doubt she was oblivious to her actions. Her parent is older and could birth someone of my age.

 So if they could act the way they did over the 50 naira issue and saw nothing wrong with it then talking would seem to them like nagging and being overbearing. Besides, I couldn't be bothered at this point. Thanks, Stella. Thanks all.

*Na wah!!!