Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmm......

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

IF I KNEW BACK THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW...


Hello Stella of life,

Your Boredom eliminating post on advising a younger sister if one had to pushed me to send in my life's story. I once sent a testimony to you, but here is my life at a glance.


I come from a family of 7:2 boys and 3 girls. I happen to be the last girl and the boys came after me. My father is a well known public figure who prefers to be good to outsiders, more than he is to his wife and children.

My secondary school days were hell, as I had to work in people's farms to be able to transport myself to school, even when I was taking my SSCE. To my father, the moment you managed to finish SSCE, you were on your own, whether you made it or not, he did not care.


In my own case, my result was ceased and I had no option other than to start the business of selling OK(fairly used clothes) with my meagre savings. No need asking about my mum, her case is a story for another day. From my business I was able to buy a GCE form, without my dad's support, and I made my papers, excluding English where I had only a pass.

 I asked my dad to sponsor my university education but he refused and was adamant about it. He was a manager in a federal establishment and a graduate, but he allowed another married woman and her husband to use their jazz on him to forsake his family, while he was training theirs. I resigned myself to fate and started part-time studies in a polytechnic. My siblings all stopped at SS3 after WAEC and he did not care.


When it was time for my IT,I stayed with my elder sister, who was married by then. Here, I encountered another challenge; her husband raped me. I could not tell my sister for fear of breaking her home, knowing where we were coming from. I left her place and went back home without completing my IT or giving her a reason for leaving.

I enrolled for my HND and was still struggling with my business to make ends meet.I graduated with a lower credit.


My elder sister now called that since I had managed to finish school, that I should come and stay with her so that they could help me secure a job. Meanwhile, my father was offering jobs to people on a platter of gold, but cared less about his children. I obliged and moved to her base, believing it had been years and that that animal of a husband of hers had repented. 

Yes, he secured a job for me but barely 6 months of living with them, he came again and I asked him a question: "If your brother was doing this with your wife, would you be happy?". He told me it is a normal thing and that many have been doing it. At this point, I knew I had to move again, I confided in my sister's best friend who told me to move without telling my sister, so as to leave the marriage intact. I did not inform my sister of my moving out till I was able to find my own house and furnish it. 

The day I wanted to pack out, I told my mum and dad and they were surprised. I bought a carton of wine on the eve of my moving out and presented it to my sister and her hubby, to appreciate them for helping me secure a job. He rejected the drinks and my sister was crying, that seeing her present condition(as she was heavily pregnant),why have I decided to move at that time. I offered to come and take her children every weekend, as I was comfortable by then, but her hubby refused. I moved without looking back and switched jobs, before he comes to frustrate me, so he became powerless over me.


Please bear with me for my long story. It is for you to understand where I am coming from.

On my marriage, which has brought about the story of my life, which I have to cut short because it is not worth remembering. I am actually married to a pastor, who was not a pastor prior to our marriage. I first met him,7years before our marriage, when he told me that God told him that I was his wife. I laughed it off and went my way. When the disturbances became too much, I took my then man-friend and introduced to him and his word to us that day were:" Be careful of God's anger, the woman you are dating is my wife".
I had forgotten all about him till fate brought us together again, after 7 years.


I had become so comfortable that I owned a car, had traveled to a few African countries, sent our last baby abroad and was caring for my aged foolish dad(which his puppet-my mum forced me to do) and even built him a house, just for the sake of my mum and two brothers. My immediate elder sister's life is a mess till today, all thanks to our dad.




The journey of my life makes me a loner, as I have never opened up to anyone to this extent. The few friends I managed to have, especially ladies, became my worst enemies. I never knew they were friends from hell. I bottle up a lot, till date.


Back to my marriage story, I survived an accident and went to church for thanksgiving. I never invited this my husband, as I neither had his contact nor even knew his name, but someone I invited sent him as his representative.
On that day,a prophecy came about him, he was the first to be ministered to and that was how I knew he came. I was surprised to see him but cared less as he was not on my guests' list. After service, I entertained my guests and church members and left for the day. I was in my office when the pastor called to see me, I told him I will come when I was less busy. On getting to the pastor's office, I was told a message came for me that 'God said I rejected his Son 7yrs ago that it is now my turn to look for him'. I was surprised and was asked to go pray that God should speak to me .......Stella, the story plenty.


Here we are, I am married to a brother turned pastor with a genuine call, but poor. I practically run the family alone, I bought him the car he drives, I fund the ministry that gives people their testimonies and they disappear. When I complain about this, he tells me that the people he will use to bless the ministry have not come.


I was running my home and that of my immediate younger brother plus my mum all alone without any help. I lost my son and lost my mum exactly one year after my son's demise, before my rainbow baby came in 2019 at age 43 and I am currently 24weeks gone at 45.I have never taken any fertility drugs all my life, that is why I know God is faithful. Yes, I married a poor man who is too good and faithful to his God and me. I contemplated divorce on many occasions because of the load on me, but the word of God I know held me back. My finances are grounded because I was unable to save due to family burden before the travel industry was hit by coronavirus from 2020 till date.


If I knew a way now that one could ask for a second chance, I doubt if I would marry him.


To that advice on the BEP, if I had a younger sister, I would advice her to:
1. NEVER marry below her status.
2. Marry a Godly man but try to know what chased/pursued him to God.
3. Look for a man that can hold his circle tight and, above all, a man that fears God and not the one that loves God.

Hmmmmm Marry a man that fears God and not one that loves God? WOW!

One can ask God for a second chance from his will? Thank you for this interesting Narrative...