Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Marriages Plans Squashed Due To Primary Ovarian Insufficiency

I met a nice guy in my church, guy was on my case the first time I started attending the church, at the point, I just came out of a relationship because it wasn't defined. I was skeptical to enter into this one, firstly, because of his educational level and secondly, because we attend the same church. 

I had to tell him it wasn't going to work, I used my non-existent relationship as an excuse, but the Bobo no gree, he used care to break down all the walls I was putting up.

I eventually accepted him and because of how transparent he was in the relationship, I had to tell him about my past as well. I've been married before when I was very young, immediately after my service year, the marriage lasted for 3 years, it was a very horrible experience for me, that's a story for another day, my parents had to practically drag me out of it. I had no kids, so the break up was easier.


He had absolutely no problem with it, he showed me so much care and I let down my guard, I never received any care in the three years I was married, didn't even know relationship could be that sweet.
He already told me he wanted marriage, because of my past experience I delayed because I met my ex in church as well, but I later agreed for us to go for our introduction last year February, the Traditional marriage (TM) was scheduled for August, after the introduction, we started preparations in earnest for TM.


While preparing for the TM, I decided to go for body check up, partly because of my impending nuptials and partly because I've been feeling strange for over a year now, he was in the know as well, been having hot flushes and irregular menstruation, I was told by gynaes that they were stress related, infact I was misdiagnosed up until three months to my TM when I was asked to do hormone profile test.

I did the test and the result had my world crashing around me. I was diagnosed with POI primary ovarian insufficiency. According to the gynae, my chances of conceiving naturally were very slim, IVF was my best bet. My FSH and LH were high.

I debated within me to tell him about this, but was encouraged by my pastor to do so, he advised me to tell after which both of us should come for counseling. I eventually told him and he went gaga, he accused him of being in the know since we started dating but decided to tell him now, because I feel he will have no option but to proceed. I was flabbergasted because I didn't know with the level of trust we shared he could think this of me, had to show him the test result, he changed his narrative again that I must have noticed some of the signs that I was too careless. 

Same week he called me that we were still going to proceed with the TM as planned, by weekend he called me again that pastor said we should hold on, that IVFs are very expensive, that we should source for alternative treatment or we should try having a baby before proceeding with the wedding. I knew he suggested the later because he knew I wasn't going to agree to it, we had a no sex till marriage policy in the relationship.

He stopped all communications with me and practically acted like the three year relationship never happened, it was a trying time for me and it took me a while to get to the point where I could write this.

I have made some research regarding the POI, there are no cures though, the available ones are very expensive, while I hope to God for a miracle I'm open to any suggestions as to how I can manage the symptoms, my periods are becoming increasingly irregular, I've been placed on contraceptives, I have done acupuncture as well, but I haven't been getting much relief.

 My family has been very supportive as well, but I'm still worried, this has made me very scared of entering into another relationship. I'm not getting any younger as well, I'm already in my mid thirties, even though I don't look it. When I told him I was married before, he never believed me until he confirmed from my family.


Note: During my first marriage, after the first year when I wasn't getting pregnant, I did this same test and it came out fine, infact we were told we had no issues, that it was only a matter of time before the babies start coming. It's still a mystery to me how it came about, but I know I will overcome at the end.

*WOW, so sorry about your condition and what a pity that he left you because of this... He didnt really love you cos when a person really loves you, they never leave no matter what.

if you do not have money for IVF or do not find someone, you can always adopt.