As e dey hot....
RE LYING TO YOUR FRIEND TO PROTECT YOUR EX
AYMII REPLIES ANGRY FRIEND
Madam Stella...anhh I entered your Chronicles on Tuesday?? Lol.
Well let me set the records straight ,cos it seems some people didnt understand the whole matter.
First of all , DogAlmighty has nothing to do with the affair. I replied his comment on the BEP and in my reply I gave a story of my Ex(let's call her Joan), and my friend(lets call him mark)who wanted to marry her.
Let me simplify the story..... In my younger days(When I was still a worldly man)....in university during my final year (17 plus years ago) , I dated joan we had a steamy affair for a while and we parted ways after I graduated. 13 years later My friend mark, a schoolmate who had relocated Abroad started dating Joan and after a while called to ask me . "how far did you and Joan go? Were you sleeping with her? she told me she's a virgin?? I'm thinking of getting serious with her". My Response. " ooh , She's a nice gurl follow your heart". Not up to a year after my response , I see their wedding IV and pictures. Now after mark has married Joan , he's discovered a lot of secrets about her including that she was no virgin and blamed me in his Reply on BEP Reasons for my Actions.
(1) I don't believe in kiss and tell. I didnt like the idea of discussing details of who I had knacked in the past with someone who was currently dating her. something that happened over 13years ago at that time.
To me it was past and buried. Plus I wasn't even living that lifestyle anymore.
(2) I wasn't intentionally deceiving him....I was diplomatic and avoided a direct answer. "She is a nice gurl, follow your heart" . those were my exact words.
(3). I believed that as their dating continued he will see other signs, and judge for himself whether he wants to marry her or not To Sum it up, I didn't want to be involved in his decision making process . I wanted him to make up his mind himself not influenced by my previous history with Joan....(After all who is a saint???? I'm not, is he one too??)
Some BVs bashed me as a bad friend.....Well if I made a mistake in not telling him everything, I am sorry for that. But me I still feel if he was smart, he should have discovered enough about her through their interactions.
On 2the Next:
Can you both make up already please? This spot is a place of love...
I am sure you both are shocked to meet here.. God has a reason for that.. Please oga make up and forgive your wife if it just the gbenshing matter that hurt you...I know people who married their friends exs without knowing oh...
please make up and lets celebrate you both...
Aymii, like I said in the previous chronicle, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not as if you and the guy were even paddies.
ReplyDeleteIt was left to him to study her before wifing her. I guess the thought of her being a virgin blew him away.
Aymii my brother abeg leave that talk. He asked you a straight forward question. "Did you or did you not sleep with her" Especially because she claimed she was a virgin.
DeleteWhat was the big deal in saying that you guys had sex, but that she's a nice lady?
You messed up big time, but I'm glad you've finally apologized.
Those ladies justifying Aymii's actions should put themselves in the Poster's shoes. A guy who you knew was close to your friend wants to marry you. The guy claims to be a saint. You call your friend to ask about his past life and she gives you a very "diplomatic" answer.
Tomorrow, you find out that the guy is totally different from what he claimed.
Won't you be angry with that friend who shielded such sensitive information from you?
Lets be realistic with our advice on this blog.
I agree with you,Noc-Turnal..Let's stop justifying balderdash mbok
DeleteI even applaud you for being a diplomatic person.
DeleteNot everyone misses and tells, not everyone is a gossip
If you don't want anyone to gossip or spoil your own sisters relationship please don't bash this guy.
He did what he thought was right, plus it's not like the friend dint know they dated.
He was supposed to do his research himself
The girl was nice to Ayim so why spoil her reputation.
I blame the husband for not doing proper investigation and I blame the wife for lying about such rubbish
Thank you Noc. Aymii, there's nothing like I was diplomatic. Stop sugar coating it. You simply lied and betrayed your friend...
DeleteOga, please forgive your wife in order to know peace...
Question: Did you or did you not sleep with her?
DeleteHis Response: She's a nice girl, follow your heart.
This sums it up that the dude did no wrong. His response was evasive not affirmative. In itself, it's a coded response to a "wise man".
Poster, in my opinion, you did not do anything wrong by not telling Mark anything. You owe him no explanation as to how your relationship went with Joan since she was in your past. Joan was your ex and what happened in Rome stays in Rome. How many ppl still kiss and tell in this century sef? You dated her, it wasn't as if she was a prostitute or an olosho that comes to gbensh for money.
ReplyDeleteProstitutes sef deserve a second chance only if they can come with clean hands, repent and put their head down in their defined relationships and marriages.
Both Joan and Mark aren't saint either. They're someone's ( if not some people's) exes too. Don't feel bad and don't think that you are the cause of what is currently happening in your friend's marriage.
Mr Mark, stop shifting blames of your "not so good" marriage on an innocent friend.
The culprit is your wife. She did everything wrong by lying about her virginity and she did bad by sleeping around after you two had defined your relationship. We alone are responsible for the consequences of our actions ( both good and bad).
Sir,I pray you find peace in your home and settle things with your friend.
Nice response Tabitha.. She lied and that's enough reason to dissolve. At her age still lying about virginity, o wrong na
DeleteMr Mark, I am sorry, you are just a wicked person.
DeleteHow many guys have come to you to ask you to detail your sex life with your exes for them to know if you marry them or not?
A wife you married 13 years ago or so is still suffering in your home because you are God or what?
Just forgive her already, move on with this poster too he’s got no fault here we are guys and you should not even break the bro code man!
Lastly, madam wife, you too stop lying na. Na lie carry you reach here now!!!
Oga despite being an adult man, you are still not mature and ready for marriage even though you have been in it for God knows how long!
DeleteYes,she lied which is highly condemnable but you are overflogging the issue.Why do we so much put attention on Sex as if our life is attached to it!
A person ready for marriage is a person ready to marry not the one that has money in their pocket,make we hear word abeg,she no kill person!
I understand your plight .. but you need to let go not for her but for your own peace .. stay strong
ReplyDeleteHuh?
DeleteI feel you man! Someone like me sef, I fit no disclose that kain info as well. Na as you talk am naim I go talk am too. But when I hear guys dey say woman dey give them condition on no sex before marriage when dating, e dey surprise me. All the while I don dey date and run show in this life (in my mid 30s), I never experience am before. Infact na the women, dey first make the move/jump on me when we dey inside house. No be by making mouth or bragging. Maybe na my looks dey help me sha. Guys just take care of yourselves, workout, eat healthy, smell good, be neat, if possible stay away from alcohol and smoking/drugs, get legit work or business...and lastly get apartment wey only you dey stay, keep it clean. No woman go ever do this 'close leg like mermaid' shit for you. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThere are some women those things can't make them open legs, no matter how many times you clean up. #Discipline&GoodUpbringing
DeleteOga please forgive
It was a direct question that needed a direct answer. Like l said before the guy's pain is not because of his friend but because the wife asked for celibate relationship and he was faithful while the wife was sleeping around. Ladies stop lying about your virginity who your virginity help
DeleteNice to meet you twin brother!!
DeleteEven if you have all the money in the world,some women won't open legs because they know their body is the temple of God which must not be defiled. Like beget like tho'
DeleteChai
DeleteI hope your friend understand your point and let go...
ReplyDeleteI also feel your friend should let his wife go if he feels he cant forgive her for lying to him than put her through emotional stress and pain. She must have learnt her lessons. No need putting her through such pain if he cant forgive her of her past and enjoy a happy married life with her.
Kai, this virginity thing dey sweet some guys o, I have seen some ladies who married as virgins but with terrible characters. The essence in marriage is godly character. Mr abrodian should forgive the girl abi his wife nah. GREAT ANON
ReplyDeleteI will forgive her but would let her go. I can't live in the same house with such a woman. Only her knows other deep secrets she is harbouring.
DeleteO
day a ten year old son Fit show up and say she is his mom.
Fear such women/man..
Please you guys should please forgive each other and move on, better days ahead. One love ❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteThe only ish I have with the Joan is the fact that she claimed she was a virgin, an information that can easily be proven wrong, like I don’t get it
ReplyDeleteDear @Aymii, when you said .."lets call him MARK" omo my jaw dropped o. My name is Mark abeg bikonu. But i am not that MARK, all pun intended. So,moving forward, i think you didn't do anything wrong. That would have been my own reply if i was in the same situation . Plus why was the "Mark" only concerned about the straffing part? You guys should just call a truce, sit down over drinks and apologise and forgive every hurt and feelings of animosity and move on.Wife on her part should apologise for lying to him and let there be forgiveness. Life is simple!!!
ReplyDeleteThey should not sit over drinks o before one person poison another.
DeleteIt was a direct question that needed a direct answer. Like l said before the guy's pain is not because of his friend but because the wife asked for celibate relationship and he was faithful while the wife was sleeping around. Ladies stop lying about your virginity who your virginity help
ReplyDeleteAs far as am concerned, Marks anger is that he realized he was a simp, too gullible and easily deceived, and it's no one's fault. Dnt know if it's karma at work or something.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why he thinks he's punishing her by his minor ishs, trust me Joan is living her best life,while u just a cardiac arrest patient in waiting. If u ain't happy,pls break it off bfor u raise another man's child.
As for Joan, trust me,u wil always get and reap what u sow.
You are a terrible person . Those supporting you are just like you
ReplyDeleteVery terrible!
Deletehmmmmmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteQuestion is when did Mark and Joanne get together, was it when she was still seeing Aymii.. Because what I gather from Aymii is that he dated Joanne in the past before Mark met her. So those commenting on the lady sleeping around when her partner was celibate... got it all wrong! Aymii was not in the picture when his ex and Mark started dating... This all happened in the past. MARK IF YOU CAN NOT FORGIVE.. LET JOANNA GO ALREADY, YOU ARE A VINDICTIVE MAN.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wicked person! People like you will watch someone fall into a ditch all in the name of let me mind my buisness. You are a bad friend.
ReplyDeleteVery wicked friend.
DeleteAymii,you did no wrong.
ReplyDeleteAngry husband why did you want to involve everyone in your research? You were DUPED by a (former) prostitute, that's all.
Dont bring anyone into your failure, be bold enough to face it.
Come to think of it, how many men have asked you details of your past relationships? The only information I can give is I had been close to so and so, the details of what transpired is no topic for discussion.
You heard 'virgin' and boom that's all your interest. That's why you got so disappointed otherwise.
Can you look out at other positives that could make someone a good wife? There is more to you wife....look again.
I understood the first chronicle.
ReplyDeleteYou are not a wicked person and I understand your stand for not telling him.
He was just too trusting & naive to have believed the babe.
But if you were really looking out for him you should have told him she wasn't a virgin without saying much about her. He trusted you.
You both should ask for forgiveness & move on
Your 2nd paragraph is very true. He would have given him right answers without bad mouthing Joan thereby saving his own head...
DeleteAymii apologize to Mark, you did him wrong...
There comes a time when silence is seen as betrayal. Your friend simply feels betrayed and the most unfortunate event is that he isnt a forgiving person. His grouse shouldn't even be with you. But his thrifling wife. But As long as you hv apologised sincerely to him and know that you are indeed sorry, then dont worry about it too much.
ReplyDeleteLet your friend fix his home if he wishes. All id advice you is to avoid mark like a plague. He's hurting badly.
Aymii, you said you are not a worldly person when he asked you that and as a heavenly person, you still lied to your friend.
ReplyDeleteMr. Man you are a bad person.
Tell him!
DeleteAymii on to the next like you said, your ex friend is vindictive and for his own sake he should divorce his wife if he can’t forgive her instead of torturing her and bragging about it on a blog. That woman can send you to jail considering you live abroad with just a phone call. Let her go and free yourself now that you still can MR all Perfect.
ReplyDeleteYou were both friends. It's not a matter of 'kiss and tell'. He asked you a question as a friend. I guess everybody has diff meanings to friendship these days.
ReplyDeleteAymii wasn't his friend but a betrayer...
DeleteGod bless you.
DeleteMr Abroadian, please forgive your wife. Most of you abroad self want virgins but cannot keep yourselves. Are you even a saint? Please free her if you dont want the relationship. Are you God?
ReplyDeletePlease stop twisting the story and making Mr Mark appear like the bad person...
DeleteHe didn't make it a big deal she must be a virgin but Joan lied to him which might be his deal breaker and also his friend added fuel to the fire...
Joan and his friend broke his trust. Both of them aren't trustworthy...
Mark, please forgive your wife and Aymii for your own sanity and peace...
I remember sending in my own Chronicle where I lied to my husband that I wasn't a virgin even though I was. I had my reasons but this whole saga has made me rethink that a lie is a lie. Either you are a virgin or not own it with your chest, we all have reasons but the truth is just better. My husband teases me a d says he knew all along but I was just tired of guys being after because of virginity and they were doing unspeakable things to deflower me. Thank God it ended in praise for me. Poster, I think the guy should have read between the line. I have a friend who married a person that she had dated his brother in the past. It was all out in the open and they moved past it. They are all fine and doing well.
ReplyDeleteYou didint do anything wrong. He should follow his heart. i wont be the reason to end someone's relationship.Find out yourself.
ReplyDeleteMr Mark please come and tell your own side of the story. This may be your first step to your healing journey.
ReplyDelete