Monday, April 19, 2021
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A lot of times even some days ago .
ReplyDeleteI can't kill myself and leave akpu fufu and afang soup... that afang soup with plenty oyel.
DeleteNever!
DeleteWhatever I'm going through is nothing compared to the fires of hell.
Yes. Sometime in 2017. I would close my eyes and even play dead. I was numb. Life was meaningless!
DeleteGod used a very old friend to bounce me back to life. This is someone I cut off because of some reasons.
She called me out of the blues when I was calculating what will end things for me. When I saw her call I felt it was a better sign that I should end it all.
I picked, but then she was sweet & kind. Apologised and all. Spoke life & love into me (didn't tell her my plans). But she just became a shoulder to lean on & all the pain vanished.
I am really grateful she reached out & saved me my life! Thank u Vee!
Nope
ReplyDeleteNo o, this life wey sweet like sugar. God no go shame us o.
DeleteNo, I've always known that it's not an option
Delete*Larry was here*
Yes. Almost ended even but d tot of poor Father made me have a rethink,then d depression hit.Rock bottom, I felt worthless for yrs
DeleteNever.
ReplyDeleteNever!!! ✖️✖️✖️
ReplyDeleteOh yes. Before God turned every single thing around and i still cant belive the quality of life i have today.
DeleteWell not committing the act itself but earnestly praying and wishing to die. Hoping to sleep and not wake up.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, I've been there. Thank God for showing me mercy 🙏🙏🙏
DeleteYes! 😥
ReplyDeleteLiving in Nigeria is a daily, depressing battle, I pray for respite.
Yes! 😥
ReplyDeleteLiving in Nigeria is a daily depressing battle, I pray for respite.
Yes suicide has crossed my mind twice. Once as a teenager- I already popped some pills- and last year but I was able to talk to a therapist and I got a whole lot better.
ReplyDeleteI understand the episode that triggered it as a teenager, what I didn't understand was that of last year's. Even though I had some low period, it isn't something I think should cause one to be suicidal so I concluded it was as a result of the plenty medications I was on. I really don't know if certain medications can make one suicidal but that's what I concluded.
Yes. Some medicines can do that.
DeleteThank God you are way past it now.
Yes. Thank God I overcame it. The urge was really strong at that time.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call mine suicide but 🤷
ReplyDeleteOk, so last week Friday someone said something very very hurtful to me, see I started crying in my office, when I got home I continued till like 11pm, I couldn't sleep, I just kept thinking about my life and how it is, I felt so stupid and useless. Because of the lack of sleep and chronic headache I decided to take my mom's sleeping pills, I took 2 tablets and slept off immediately. See, I couldn't stand up Saturday morning, I managed to eat once all through Saturday and I did that on my bed, my eyes were shutting at every minute. Sunday the same thing happened, I was so weak and drowsy, no church, no house chores. My mom noticed and asked what was wrong, I lied I had cramps. I was just totally down and weak, the little strength I had, once I remember what that person said to me on Friday, cry go start again. I just planned that I would call in sick today if I didn't get myself again.
Thank God I woke up better this morning and got ready for work. As I was getting ready, I saw my mom taking her morning pills, I asked her how she takes the sleeping pills, she said doctor instructed ONE in 2 days because of how strong and effective it is; I was like 😲 and I took 2 on Friday night??? No wonder I felt like my life was slipping away.
This morning in my office I just kept wondering why I let someone's words get to me to that extent when he's not my God.
I have vowed to watch what I say to people from now on because our words can cut deep.
I learned to sift my words a long time ago. It will take a very high level of anger to make me blurt things I'd regret later.
DeleteBabe that word cut me deeeepppp, but thank God.
DeleteSandra it's well, some mouths can weaken u and make u seek to take ur life, I remember years ago whenever I encounter such I will sulk for weeks before I become myself, now no matter the words u use on me, e no dey enter, I don become odaeshi na u go tire sef. Sometimes I ask myself if am human atall, negative words don't move me no more. If am wrong, I apologise to u, but if am not, I will either ignore u or reply u, infact I do more of ignoring than reply. People feel more powerful and victorious over u, when they see u feeling crushed by their gutter mouth, but once u act unbothered omo it sends them to confusion island.
DeleteThank God you got through it and didn't mistakenly off yourself. And then you even learnt a lesson from it. We probably get loads of compliments everyday, it is so easy to discard those but be deeply hurt by just one disparaging comment.
DeleteI hope you have healed from the hurt.
Thank you paprika, I pray I develop a thick skin.
DeleteThanks Kami.
DeleteI'm glad you recovered @Sandra.
DeleteI'm so sorry about what that man's random word did to you bcos you didn't deserve it.
You should develop thick skin, there are many bitter souls out there.
Thank God you pulled through my sister . God will never allow us to be put shame . We should learn to sift our words before we let it out , very important .
DeleteKilling myself? Never. Wishing I was not born, definitely.
ReplyDeleteMultiple times..
ReplyDeleteI was 10 the first time it crossed my mind, my mum tormented me in the name of training.
Nawa o!
DeleteSorry 🤗
This life is too sweet o ,i am not a deep thinker 😊so it has never crossed my mind and i pray not to experience whatever will make me contemplate on taking my life.
ReplyDeleteIt has. Most recently as a matter of fact. But then again I remember that even this too shall pass. You'd think everything is arrayed against you. But then you look at your son.. you know you have to be there for him. The thought of better days on the horizon is just about all you can hope for.
ReplyDeleteYour son is totally worth getting up every day and pushing through whatever situation that's got you thinking suicidal thoughts.
DeleteThis comment here is it.
DeleteThanks Dawg..
Yes!! when i lost my mum some years back. I always thought and felt losing her was my greatest fear, when she finally passed away i felt like i had no reason for being around. I loved that woman!!! I was suicidal for a while, but thank GOD, i am still here, happy and conquering territories and making her proud.
ReplyDeleteThis place you left is exactly where I am,I lost my mum,am hurting badly...it feels like no need to put effort in doing anything anymore
DeleteOne day at a time Loisa, one day at a time.
DeleteIt's been 14 years since my dad died, you won't forget it but you'll heal gradually.
How sad!
Delete🤗🤗
No,I hardly take things too serious and play too too much...
ReplyDeleteAs life sweet reach? Wish life could even be bought I for don start mortgage of extra 600 years sinceeeee😀😀😂😂
@MARTINS
You sef 😅😂🤣😅😂. I guess personality/temperament also plays a role on the way we handle life's challenges.
DeleteI have an uncle who never gets perturbed even when he doesn't have 5 Kobo in his pocket. Sometimes I wish I had such carefree disposition towards life, other times I feel it makes one laid back about issues they should buckle up and tackle.
😀😀😁😁@Twin Squared
DeleteThe day I told my wife I wasn't happy after returning from work,do you know what she told me?
Ahhh,Mar-Mar Baby food is in the fridge ooo;both beans and Okro Ugba,its hunger that is doing you..
Funny enough I didn't even know when I started laughing and asked her,meaning I'm Eze nri(king of food) or what??
No be say I no get problem but life na just Jeje;if I worry kill myself,burial money too cost for Igboland abeggggg and perhaps I still dey honeymoon😀😀😂😂
@MARTINS
Na true you talk Nwanne mmadu 👍
DeleteMaka gini? This life wey dey sweet like sugar. If l fail, I will rise again. That pain will never remain for ever. Tail or head. I win..
ReplyDeleteThat's the spirit.
DeleteAs life dey sweet so? I dey craze?
ReplyDeleteCutting my finger nail is even a challenge, if not for hygiene..... then taking my entire life??? Pls i dont need that strength
ReplyDeleteYeah, that was the year 2010, but I thank God I didnt, I din leave my fears in the past, I can never ever think of it again no matter what
ReplyDeleteNo no no no since I was born, suicide has never crossed my head. I still dey enjoy my garri ijebu with fish.....
ReplyDeleteYes but thank God I'm still here. sometimes the thought will just come but I'll wave it out. But recently I noticed that anytime I see a naked wire or socket,I'll be having the urge to touch it..this happened this morning too.
ReplyDeleteAh!😥😥😥
ReplyDeleteNo, never! We'll survive the challenges
ReplyDeleteEvery now and then, I just keep encouraging myself and gets discouraged always. I don't know yet if I will do it. I don't know.
ReplyDeleteSo so many times....😥😓🤢
ReplyDeleteOh dear!
ReplyDelete🤗🤗
I have a funny mood swing,it's just so funny like one minute am angry and the next will just think about one yeye thing that happened yrs back the next thing na laugh😅😅.abeg I de normal??
ReplyDeleteHell no. I have been through a lot growing up and as an adult. The only thing that kept me going was the light at the end of the tunnel and the fact that after suffering comes enjoyment. Why would I want to kill myself when I am yet to achieve my earthly purpose.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNot even once, but that was then. Now I conquer every challenges with faith and prayer because suffering is a phase that would pass someday.
ReplyDeleteI got pregnant 5 months after marriage in 2006, Had my baby in 2007,
ReplyDeleteSuffered post partum depression and severally thought of throwing myself into the river that flowed beside where we lived back then.
Thank God I didn't 😄😄
Wow!
DeleteThank God you didn't .
Never.
ReplyDeleteI'd rather run far away and start life afresh than commit suicide, nothing and no one is worth taking my life for.
Depressed yes but Suicide!! Hell no, the love for myself and my lovely kids won't let me.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry
ReplyDeleteYes but now I have a daughter I want to live for
ReplyDeleteSome years back, I used to wonder how it'll be jumping into the ocean while passing through a bridge
ReplyDeleteI almost ended it yesterday Stella but for the timely arrival of my sister funny thing is she was supposed to come back today Monday but she said she wasn't comfortable where she was babe entered Uber inside that rain and came banging on the door several times until I opened. I think she noticed I've been withdrawn lately,I don't even respond to any calls sef. She's been watching me like mother hen since as we both work from home. I feel so weak already...
ReplyDeleteYes,yes, yes,ummmm,the devil hit me so hard,I lost my job,I lost health and also lost my marriage. In my mind knew the end has come,I went to the market and get a bottle of snipper . planning when to do it, fortunately for God send some one to ask me questions about am about to do.He (God ) gave people some for at that time. Today am waxing strong in the lord my God. CALL ME A CHILD OF GOD.
ReplyDeleteFLAWLESSLY.
Yes ,when one devil hacked my phone ,got all the contacts and my pictures, started tarnishing my image to make sure nobody gets close to me.
ReplyDeleteWhen I realised it was too late that I don't know how I will begin to explain.
I cried and placed curse on him.
The only thing that will set him free is for him to start contacting those people and tell them the truth.
yes...
ReplyDeletei have fought and overcome ill health men say is impossible.
at the beginning of this fight... suicide was an option as i was not sure how it would end.
it took me more than 30 thousand hours in the word of God....day and night to deal with this
Yes,even attempted it when going through post natal depression years ago,couldn't open up and talk to anyone at the time,was a very dark place.Thank God family was around to stop the attempt and hid all the things that could cause self harm,if not,my enemy would have been history.....
ReplyDeleteYes.... Thought of it last week self
ReplyDeleteBut I tell myself if I do I know my mum wee kee herself right after finding me...
We'll keep pushing.... One day we'll all have a reason to smile and we'll even pinch ourselves for having such horrible thoughts
Never crossed my mind.
ReplyDeleteBetter days are ahead.
Yes I have... even today
ReplyDelete2017/2018,I'll never forget in a hurry. I attempted suicide once but I guess God had other plans for me. I was in so much pain. I saw death before me but my spirit fought harder. The second time I contemplated it,I was no longer thinking selfishly. I thought if I took my life,the eternity of doom waiting for me at the other divide would be incomparable to what I was feeling then. Secondly,I thought of the truama it would leave on my family,the stigma and all.
ReplyDeleteI'm in a better place and I'm thankful to God.
I no fit try am again. Instead make I kill myself,I rather relocate and start afresh
Yes,but I just have to wave it off whenever the thought just come I had to develop thick skin in every challenges that comes my way. I have seen alot but i have to be strong and keep the hope alive.. Well, nothing actually last forever though because I know every challenges it's just a passing phase. I just decided to encourage myself and smile often.. it's well
ReplyDeleteYes but the thought of my loved once hurting stopped me. Plus I have hope e go better and God has been showing up.
ReplyDeleteYes but the thought of my loved once hurting stopped me. Plus I have hope e go better and God has been showing up.
ReplyDeleteYes.it was in the past.But the Lord has delivered me from it already.
ReplyDeleteNo! Never!!!.
ReplyDeleteI feel so emotional right now,I remember when i was pregnant and my baby's dad left me,I wanted to just die,,i was tired of life,broke and frustrated,.God came through for me and am doing fine, even though it gets tough some times but we keep pushing
ReplyDeleteYes, had the thought several times late last year but the thought of my little kids and my aged mom won't make me do it. I thank God there's beginning to be light at the end of the tunnel.
ReplyDeleteYes. Once in a blue moon when I'm depressed and I'm driving alone. Something tells me , I can make it look like an accident.
ReplyDeleteBut God is so wonderful. The challenges pass quickly and I find myself taking stringent precautions the next day against anything that might hurt me, talkless of kill me, hahahaha! Something very good will definitely happen a while after and I'll be so 'worriless', you'll think I don't have sense.
Also, I can't even commit outright suicide for fear of what people will say behind my back. I worry too much about what people say about me cos I believe I'm a constant topic of discussion due to my wired nature. I'm too protective of my privacy and I like being on my own and in my own lane. My very very close circle of friends and family is sufficient for me. So because I like being on my own, some conclude I might be depressed. I can never give them that satisfaction and commit suicide. NEVER! I do not have any kids yet so when those thoughts come, I don't feel guilty cos the nuclear family I come from would be relieved sef. Bunch of wicked, fake ass people. But God no go shame me. I will triumph and overcome IJN. Dem no get choice. I shall be a force they must reckon with sooner than their wicked hearts can process IJN. I will make in life IJN. I will be rich. I will carry my own kids. IJN.
Blood is thicker than water, my foot!
Suicide has different stages and levels. Recognizing the phase you are will go along way to help you heal or drift back to life.
ReplyDeleteFirst stage start with FAILURE. Failure is the precursor of Suicide. Not managing failure well will trigger the next phase of your journey. It is important to know that failure is not your bus stop but stepping stone to your glorious future. Manage it well.
The second stage is FEAR. It is normal to be apprehensive when things doesn't go the way we want it. But nevertheless we should always get back to our feet and spur our self back to action. It might not be easy but it is doable and more convenient. Fear is a silent killer. Choose Faith above fear, Hope against despair.
The third stage is CONFUSION. When you dwell so much in your fear, confusion set in. Confusion upset everything and it make you useless, because you can no longer focus on any positive thing. When in that state of confusion, don't relent, ask yourself "is there any way out? is there any place i can get help?" At this junction seek help. Find a mentor or a good friend to pour out your dilemma to.
The next Stage is FRUSTRATION. At this point, you are gradually encroaching and sinking deep into the territory of the Monster Suicide. When you get to this point, seek for help also. See a therapist, talk to a reliable superior. Don't bottle it up there, speak to someone. Your helper might be out there. It might be shameful to talk about but say it. If you don't have someone to talk to, Write to Stella Blog about your situation, Bvs might help you with a solution.
Please this is a crucial stage, make sure you don't bottle it up and don't also speak to the wrong person.
The next stage is DEPRESSION. At this junction you are already in the Domain of Suicide just that you are not in her vicinity yet. At this point, you are almost giving in. You are about to throw in the towel. Also at this stage, you start getting withdrawn from people. This stage is critical. The things that can help you at this stage are, the people in your life, how much they mean to you and also how observant they are and willing to help you out. Also your resolute plays an important role at this stage. Even if you are at this stage, seek for help and don't lose hope.
The next stage is SUICIDAL THOUGHT. This point, you have cross Depression and thinking about suicide becomes the order of the day. Note that there is a thin line between this stage and the formal. One can even be inter-switching between them. You still need help at this stage. Find someone reliable to talk to... it will go along way to help.
The last stage is ATTEMPTING SUICIDE AND COMMITTING SUICIDE. THIS IS THE MOST CRITICAL AND WORSE STAGE. If you are still alive after the first attempt, then know that there is much in stock for you. Your destiny is really great. Please don't try it again, find closure and find good people around. They still exist or Talk to Stella a.k.a Jewelechi, am sure it will come handy.
This write-up might not provide all the solutions you seek, but the essence is to help you see the stage you are in now and how to retrace your steps.
Most often than not, most of us don't even know we are depressed or almost close to committing suicide.
I hope this write-up helps you and i pray you find the closure you seek.
SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER AND IS NOT THE BEST OPTION.
Salleh...
This reminds me with laughter about my childhood. Was barely a teenager but had crazy ideas for different episodes of being flogged by mum. Sometimes, I act like I wanna elope, packing my bag in her face (while she doesn’t even care to notice me) other times, I hold a knife like to stab myself, still nobody send me. Lol. Me that have always liked life. Omo, had to stop the rough play o, before I mistakenly wound myself 😂 na small pikin been dey worry me😂
ReplyDelete