Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DUMPED
Stella,I am so devastated right now...
while growing up, I used to wonder why ladies who are of age to get married still remain single and searching but see me now, I am now having the same experience.
I started dating since my second year in school nine years ago, but a few nights ago he broke up with me, saying the pressures of being a man is too overwhelming for him and that he needs time off...as in I can't believe I heard that from the only man I've known all my life.
he has been my best friend and partner for these many years, I really don't know how I can go ahead with life now.
First off, you have known him for nine years and not all your life...
First off, you have known him for nine years and not all your life...
If he says he is overwhelmed and broke it then you are better off, at least he told you... let him sort himself out.
Or he wants to move on with someone else he has plans to marry and that is the only way he could think of breaking up with you...
You did not indicate that he has proposed or promised to marry you and it looks you just stayed there dating without finding out if you are dating yourself or not.
Nine ears is enough time to know whether you are in or out..
He has been your best friend and partner all these years but were you his best friend?
My dear, please try to move on.
Just as I was about to grab my popcorn, Chronicle ended.
ReplyDeletePoster you dodged a bullet.
A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
9 years doing what biko????
DeleteNa wa oo. Una dey try oo.
Poster when you find that guy that loves you and wants to be with you, you'll forget this dude ever existed. I'm talking from experience. After several disappointments,my husband married me within six months of meeting and we are happy. He's a good man and people attest to that daily. Relax girl, God's gat you!
DeleteEvery time, dodged a bullet, dodged a bullet. Una no dey tire?
DeleteWhat if she had pressurized the young man so much, that he had to take sometime to cool off? What if he's going through a very terrible phase and he just wants a little space?
What if he caught her doing something bad?
What if he has cancer and he's dying?
Poster, reach out to him and find out exactly what his reasons for the space are.
If he doesn't come up with something tangible, dust your feet and move on.
@poster, sweetheart pls move on. I was also in a relationship for good ten years but the loser dumped me at the last minute. I got married the following year by a better guy that has been eyeing me and I never noticed him cuz of the loser boyfriend. The loser later begged me with Bible, even kneeling down in the middle of the main road. His mum called to beg, his sisters begged but it was too late. My heart was already with another guy who married me almost immediately. The loser even went to fight him cuz of me, telling him to leave his wife alone. My husband relocated to another area cuz of me. Poster believe me, you will be fine. Just move on with your life, you will be fine las las
DeleteMust everything be about men? That's how some guys in my office were saying every lady can't do without a man.. And that a lady can never be happy without a man... Mtcheeew
DeleteBack to you poster... Why will you date a man for nine years?? What's the meaning of that? Well, Las Las you go dey alright... But nine years is long mehn, you would have gotten so used to him.
Ladies be wise do not date a guy for more than a year, I believe most guys know what they want from the beginning... Don't allow anyone toy with your heart.
Me thinks see finish don enter after 9 years and guy man has moved on. You are no longer an item on the menu poster. Sis poster don't beg him. As Steve Harvey says you didn't REQUIRE him to do anything. Have faith that God has great things in store for you and move on. The faster you do, the better.
DeleteJust move on
DeleteTrue talk...move on and be a better person
ReplyDeleteYou guys dated all these yearsss and he never did the needful????? he has found a wife move on ,hes not worth it,next time dont date for such a number of years
ReplyDeleteAll these secondary school relationship it takes the grace of God to last because definitely you will both grow apart and mature past some common interests. Along the line one of you might meet someone that you are more compatible with
DeleteSister, no worry... u go survive.. if u were actually good to him ,he would also miss you and come back. but till then move on with your life
ReplyDeleteThis your chornicle na summary.
ReplyDeleteStella has told you the truth already
Poster I am so sorry how you feel! Some times some people are best left as friends..However count yourself lucky that he was honest enough to tell you he was no longer interested and he let you go...Let this serve as part of life's lessons..The more you live the more you learn...And going forward, always define what you want from a man that shows interest in you..Is it friends with benefits, friendship, acquaintances, boyfriends, colleagues e.t.c...Always define what you want and what you are getting into so you can make insightful decisions..
ReplyDeleteIt's not gonna be easy but forgive each other, heal and let the love that you seek find you..If you wanna cry, go ahead, go through those emotions and don't bottle it up..Find something therapeutic that would help you heal..Make friends, smile, do some online course, volunteer..Just get yourself busy and don't wallow in self-pity and regrets (they are time wasting)...E-hugs to you..All the best..
I dated one bastard for years (7years) he called me on a certain monday to tell me that he just got married on Saturday and I couldn't believe it. I was devastated and couldn't believe it. I felt as if I was going to die but immediately I started making friends with people both male and female,I became a better person. I started enjoying my life. Please try and move on. You will be fine.
ReplyDeleteHa! Seriously, don't this kind of men have family members? Sisters?
DeleteSo sorry dear. Don't be surprised if he gets married next month. He wasn't your husband.
ReplyDeletePlease, open your eyes and don't marry the next person you see just to spite him. The right man for you will come and make you grateful your ex left you.
Move on my dear. You're better off without him.
ReplyDeleteIf you know what God did for you. You will go and do Thanksgiving in church. What a free liberation. My dear. Move on biko. Life is like that. What if you marry him and he abandons you for another woman. Statistics have shown that those who date for so long don't marry. Flip your weavon and move ahead. Another man is anxiously waiting to meet you.
ReplyDeleteIf I may ask, what did God do for her?
DeleteGod set her free from marrying someone who would not have valued her. God set her free from by force endurance marriage. In fact they were both set free because you cannot force the feelings and it is worse when it is one sided. Better be free than married out of pity.
DeleteYou dodged a bullet!! Go and do Thanksgiving biko and move on with your life
ReplyDeleteSame tin happened to me known him since I was 19.i pressured him to seek for govt scholarship to study in the UK since he was very intelligent and he was born in d UK he has his birth certificate so he could get his citizenship I saw it as an opportunity for him and me to get a better life and he agreed.we were both in level 3 at dat time.i wanted to study abroad to but my parents did not hav d funds.he left wit d promise dat afta we all graduate he will b bak for marriage and we all leave.well it did not happen.afta he graduated he came bak marriage preparations started his people came n paid for money for marriage rights b4 u knw dey came bak again and said we should hold on dat dey r stil deciding if he should marry som1 whoz mother is a Christian.dat was it o religion scattered everyting.i will be 31 dis yr.d last I heard of him he married a white woman and dey hav a son.am engaged to a wonderful man.
ReplyDeleteCongrats dear
DeleteCongrats dear.. you sound like a good lady so dont be scared to move on.. God is with you..
ReplyDeleteEverybody will tell you to move on. Before you move, ask yourself was there anything about you he waited 9 years for you to change. It could be a bad habit. It could also be a good habit, uncomfortable for him, but sought by other men. For example, some women are high pressured driven for success, but their men are slow and steady success driven. Both are agreed on success but the route can separate them because the high pressured woman can break the slow and steady man, or vice versa
ReplyDeleteSo, Sometimes, this is what makes a man move - this woman will not change, she is good o, but I cannot live with this all my life.
Certainly you are not a bad person for him to stay 9 years with you. I am not asking you to blame yourself or take blame for his not knowing what he wanted in 9 years. just check who you are and look for who matches you on the things that matter most. Hence the Bible asks: Can two walk toether except they are agreed (in agreement)?
I writing from my experience. I very nearly marry a woman I really liked, the type of woman I wanted to be married to. But I knew deep down I could not measure up or stress myself to live the type of life she wanted to live and is living today. It took me a long time to leave. I did when had a dream which showed me that: Man give up and let her find her joy.
Best wishes.
And he had to waste her time for nine good years?
DeleteMake Una dey fear God o
The fact that they stayed together 9 yrs doesn't confirm whether she was good or bad. Some people stay together out of convenience, sexual bonds, soul ties and because it is familiar. The moment one meets a more suitable partner they will leave the old school partner. Duration of a relationship means nothing tbh. As a lady it's not advisable to stay long without defining relationship. Yeah they were kids when they started but it seems while she was getting attached to him, he was just exercising his options and experimenting with other ladies out there perhaps and has found someone he sees as a better match
Delete20:16 thanks for saving me from typing.
DeleteHow can you date a man for 9 years without know where the relationship is headed? Poster, you are a fool! This is coming from a man.
ReplyDeleteShe was in secondary school when they started
Delete.common mistake but yeah I think she should have had other Male friends. The guy clearly didn't just have her as his only female companion. All.this excuses he is given is so that he can let her down softly
There are one or 2 girls in the picture
He cannot take pressure and couldn't make up his mind in 9yrs
ReplyDelete2 very strong weaknesses
Thank GOD
Moveeee on
It can be painful but you'll be fine. It's also not easy to move on but you have to try. This is the point you should make God your best paddy, make good friends and live your life. The best man for you will come through. Trust God!
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you dear.
God has got your back. All is well. Pray for the strength to forget him and move on. Pray for someone who will be better in everyway. Try to be strong, keep yourself busy. Go out. Socialize. Be active in church. Meet n mix with new friends in no time, you’ll pickup the pieces and move on.
ReplyDeletePoster you are lucky he told you, I was 3 months pregnant when I saw a wedding card of the devil incarnate. I cried, and moved on. Today I married someone that cherished me, wiped away all my tears
ReplyDeleteLucky you. Thank God.
DeleteAunty forget about him, that story he is saying he needs time off is just an excuse to gbensh another girl for a change. I'm talking from experience. Also go no contact and don't be his friend because he will use you as backup plan incase things don't work out with the other babe. He will come back when she is no longer new then leave when he sees another new girl again. Save yourself the heart break..he will do things like watching your Instagram story, check on you, or like your pictures. But please don't ever assume any of these are confirmation that he is trying to come back unless he explicitly says so AND changes his behaviour to show he cares
ReplyDeleteWell now u know better why some women are old enough to marry but still single. Anyway I think part of your mistake was being innocent and remaining innocent and only learning about relationship from one guy. I think u allowed yourself to get too attached to him and rely on him as sole emotional support without making new friends. Him on the other hand, was meeting new people , gaining new experiences and seems to have out grown you.i will suggest making new friends and all those guys you turned down because u were so sure of this guy, hopefully they are still interested so u can give them a chance. Dontpick one and start sleeping with him!befriend as many as possible platonic ally and remove sex from the equation to avoid falling into the same trap again..that way u can learn about men and how to avoid their traps and how they think.
ReplyDeleteRelationship is not an employment,once a man have sex with you as a lady in Africa,you have entered one chance, except there are other things you are bringing to the table... marriage go be prayer point for you oo
ReplyDeleteIf you know the (chastity) game, no man dumps you.
ReplyDeleteGive them sex and they will talk all the sweet nonsense and dump you in the dumpster
without batting an eyelid. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
some of you here are missing the point. this relationship started when they were still young so it is possible for them to have dated 9 years and not have defined it at the beginning. young love is just happy to be in each others company. I am sure you poster did not date other guys so its like your whole world revolved around this guy. as you get older priorities sometimes change. the guy might have met someone else or truthfully really feels pressured by alot right now. I dont know if sex went down but if it did you will feel more pained. take this as part of life's lessons and move on. enjoy being single, date other guys (no sex pls) and just make new friends. trust me you will meet someone else and might even wonder why you were killing yourself for your ex.. not all relationships are for life
ReplyDelete