Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS ISSUE
Good day Madam Stella.
Trust me, you doing a very wonderful job. It's great reading your blog everyday and I tell you, its a culture for me.
Please post this on Blog Chronicle, your advise and that of all the wonderful SDK visitors is needed urgently on an issue troubling my brother.
He met his fiancée some time last year and they became an item. In January he proposed to her and started marriage plans. As the plan was going on, they decided to go for a complete medical test. The test came with a big blow.
Good day Madam Stella.
Trust me, you doing a very wonderful job. It's great reading your blog everyday and I tell you, its a culture for me.
Please post this on Blog Chronicle, your advise and that of all the wonderful SDK visitors is needed urgently on an issue troubling my brother.
He met his fiancée some time last year and they became an item. In January he proposed to her and started marriage plans. As the plan was going on, they decided to go for a complete medical test. The test came with a big blow.
They both are AS. He was told to repeat the test and it still came out as AS.
This has caused my bro so much pain and frustration. Before I forget, according to him, he was AA when he first did the test in 2008, more reason he didn't put so much emphasis on the Genotype issue before proposing.
He has been advised to call off the wedding which he plans to do... but a medical practitioner said it's possible they can avoid having sickle cell babies if they plan to have very limited babies. They are still thinking about the whole issue and the best decision to make.
My questions are, if they decide to go ahead with the wedding, what is the probability that they wont have a sickle cell child if they decide to have only 2 or 3 kids, do genotype just change like that? (from AA to AS) or can this be spiritual?
They are both aware that there is a 25% chance that one in four babies always come out with sickle cell (SS). My question is, what is the probability of either the first, second, third or fourth baby having sickle cell (SS)?
Is there anyone who has been in this situation and how did you deal with it?
Again, I have heard of parents who said they were both AS but never had SS babies after 3 or 4 kids... is this possible? Please help a brother...
This has caused my bro so much pain and frustration. Before I forget, according to him, he was AA when he first did the test in 2008, more reason he didn't put so much emphasis on the Genotype issue before proposing.
He has been advised to call off the wedding which he plans to do... but a medical practitioner said it's possible they can avoid having sickle cell babies if they plan to have very limited babies. They are still thinking about the whole issue and the best decision to make.
My questions are, if they decide to go ahead with the wedding, what is the probability that they wont have a sickle cell child if they decide to have only 2 or 3 kids, do genotype just change like that? (from AA to AS) or can this be spiritual?
They are both aware that there is a 25% chance that one in four babies always come out with sickle cell (SS). My question is, what is the probability of either the first, second, third or fourth baby having sickle cell (SS)?
Is there anyone who has been in this situation and how did you deal with it?
Again, I have heard of parents who said they were both AS but never had SS babies after 3 or 4 kids... is this possible? Please help a brother...
*Awwwww my heart melts at how much this your brothers matter is also giving you sleepless nights...
To be on the safe side, let him call off the wedding or he can marry and they can plan not to have kids at all...it is a big risk to go ahead and have any babies...
Tricky but man never knows. They can get married and all the children they will have will be SS. The safest option is for them not to marry. Good will bring their own spouses
ReplyDeleteIvf is their only way forward, if they can afford it. They should not try to conceive naturally ooo.
DeleteThis is 2021 and people still have these kind of problem? Just save up the money you would have used for big wedding and do ivf. Very easy.
DeleteIvf won't solve the problem either. Ivf involves using her eggs and his sperm to make a baby and it will just be as if the had sex and conceived.
DeleteThe suggestion should be that they use donor egg and/or sperm for the ivf. That way the baby will not have their sickle cell trait. But they have to be very progressive people to do that. If I know Nigerians...they will rather rely on miracle to turn theirs or the babies AS to AA.
Poster,please advice your Bros to call off that wedding. Love is never enough in this kind of situations and you can't leave the date if innocent children to chance. They can have 3 kids and all will be ss or they can have 2 kids and none will be ss. It's all a game of chance,one not worth taking.
My friends parents are both AS, had 8 of them and none is SS. She got married recently and her husband is AS like her. I asked why she would do something that stupid and she said she heard it clearly that he is her husband. She didn't believe it because he looked scruffy but she ran into him another day and he told her exactly same thing she heard. So they got the same message same time. Oh! They met in a Keke.
Delete@anin 17.43...IVF with PGD (genetic testing) done before embryo transfer saves the day. If the PGD shows a fertilized sickle cell trait or sickle cell disease in an embryo , that embryo won't be transfered...with IVF and PGD, they can have all kids AA genotype.
DeleteHowever, is one thing to get a fertilized embryo, it is another for the embryo to have desired genetics and a total new game all up to God for the embryo to implant. It is well
Hahahahahahaha.. Ivf ivf....stuff that is not a guarantee even if your faith is 1000%
DeleteWell,I hope they have ftje money for it cos last time I checked ivf cost nothing less than. 1.5-2m. that's minus PGD which cost upward of 4000 dollars.
Deletedid ivf for less than 1m in January at Abuja, expecting now after 8yrs. call off the wedding abeg...ivf Pgd...can they take the stress
DeleteAnonymous 17:59, you are so right. A friend of mine and the husband did this. They have 3 kids (a girl and a set of twin boys) now and are all AA.
DeleteI remember her explaining the procedure to us. Thanks for attesting to this.
Poster mission ABORT!!! this is an avoidable future stressful situation.
DeleteIvf and pgd is not cheap to start with. Please ask those who have gone through the process of ivf and they'll tell you it's not an easy route, what with the numerous hormonal injections, side effects and discomforts.
It's also not 100% guaranteed. And even if ivf works, if the pgd test comes out positive, they have to keep destroying the eggs till they get a suitable genotype, do you know how traumatizingvdestroying viable eggs is?
They should please go their separate ways, it's not worth the stress.
Please tell your brother not to play game of luck or chance with innocent unborn kids.It is different if the couple were uniformed,but in 2021 nobody should be knowingly making this serious mistake because of love.He is so lucky to find out this early.A family friend of mine didn't even know they were both AS until their 2nd child.Just like your brother,the man did a genotype test many years before marriage and it was AA,.The child was never sick as a baby until she turned 3.she was always sick and they thought it was a spiritual thing.Even took her to herbalist.Their family hospital overlooked the sickle cell thing since the parents said they were both AA and AS.Not until they went to a government hospital and specialist suggested a genotype testing.That was when they discovered the child had sickle Cell.It has not been easy for them at all.Almost every month is hospital admissions.But things have really improved now with prayers and proper care.
DeletePlease tell your brother to look for love elsewhere please.The guilt and heartache when he sees his child suffering pains,and he knows it could have been avoided,he may fall into depression and become suicidal.The pain he is feeling now won't compare to that.He will meet someone again please.
With Ivf they can either screen out SS and implant AA or they opt for using another's egg for fertilization which will save the cost of the first option.
DeleteWith Ivf they can either screen out SS and implant AA or they opt for using another's egg for fertilization which will save the cost of the first option.
DeleteI know is not an easy decision to take but is best to take the decision than having more sleepless nights when the crisis will hit both of them
ReplyDeleteLove is not enough with having an SS kids, by the time they have one or two SS kids their love will just vanish.
If you brother decides to marry that lady to try avoid having an SS kids what about not falling pregnant as they think. What about if falling pregnant becomes difficult.
I'm sure dat med.practitioner will cancel if it were him. See I know you want all d encouragement u can get to ahead, but no, cancel that wedding. Nothing is a guarantee o, let no one deceive you to go ahead.
ReplyDeleteThat person is not a doctor. Cos any doctor knows that the chance of having a SS baby is 25% in no particular order. You can have 4 kids and all of them are ss. It's a game of probability. Or you can have 4 and all are AA.its like Russian roulette
DeleteIt's unsavory for them to go ahead and get married knowing the risk involved unless they are pro-abortion. A couple I know that did this kept removing the fetus after being tested for sickle cell.. they have a daughter (AA) now tho so it worked out for them.
ReplyDeleteIf they don't have any plans of having biological kids then yea, they can go ahead and marry
Perxy, ivf settles it.
DeleteMeanwhile, the core essence of marriage is companionship, love and happiness. This genotype thing has pushed many into terrible marriages.
If he has money for IVF let him go ahead, but if all he has his insha Allah and by God's grace the children won't be ss better to call the wedding off. Money aside, IVF isn't easy, it is unimaginably hard on the body of the woman, some women would end up having cancer down the line just because of IVF. The injections really mess up the hormones, there are many side effects and if a woman can conceive naturally, it is better to stick to that. Your brother will find another lady and the lady will find another man and they will both be in love. I don't even know the doctor that would advise this based on probability, if the doctor had said gene editing that's fine, I know someone with 6 kids and 5 of them have sickle cell. So that cross thing we used to do in biology class doesn't necessarily follow.
ReplyDeleteFunny enough, you hardly see a cancer patient/ survivor that has done IVF.. infact, it's rare, so get your facts right and the side effect of IVF is pregnancy, pregnancy! Haba. Apart from that once the hormonal drugs finish from your body, your cycle returns back to normal and you might even fall pregnant with 2mins of quickie.
DeleteThe biology...mendelian cross is 100% correct, you do not understand, it is a 25% chance in each pregnancy and not 1 out of 4 kids...
DeleteThank you!!! Ivf is extra hard on the woman. Emotionally, psychologically, mentally, physically.
DeletePeople who go that route do only because they are left with no choice.
Poster has a choice now, make the right one.
I have a friend who went through the process of iui with medicated ovarian stimulation and it failed, babe is exhausted and doesn't even have the zeal to graduate to ivf just because of all the side effects of medications she had to put up with.
They should both go on. NSPPD PRAYER hour. From. 7am every Monday to Friday. There has been testimonies of the Lord changing genotypes. There's won't be new, or too hard for. GOD.
ReplyDeleteWHAT God cannot do does not exist.
In essence seek God.
You will open your eyes and enter trouble and be waiting for Nsspd prayer to deliver you,abi? Even the Bible says wisdom is profitable to direct. It's like you've not seen anyone that has sickle cell. The disease is terrible!! I have lost close friends due to sickle cell. Why would you want to take that wicked chance if bringing a child into this world to suffer just because you were in Love?
DeleteWas it not here that we read about a women who came back from abroad to Nigeria to look for local cure for her ss children,who still ended up dying? Husband man has remarried and I m sure it's to someone that is AA. Pleae us always apply the wisdom God gave us when making life changing decisions.
Poster please, let your brother call off the wedding. Battling with a SS child is no beans. You see this love that is sweet now will turn sour and blames will enter .
ReplyDeleteHe should have a meeting with the babe and table everything. This is a forever thing , till death do them part.
The earlier the better , so he wouldnt live with regrates all the days of his life . Ciao
Abort mission with speed! Just one sickle cell child can destroy everything in ones life. You get to watch your child/children in pain continuously with no hope because they could die. What about the expenses, just to keep them alive?
ReplyDeleteLet your brother and his fiancee do this:
Go to a hospital where SS patients are and stay one week. If what they see doesn't affect them, and they feel they can cope, then by all means they can go ahead.
Tell your brother to cancel it with the speed of lightening. My first child was ss for your information . The love flew away like popcorn. I’m still suffering trauma till today. Let me help him call it off
ReplyDeleteThe chance of having SS child from AS parents is 25% for each pregnancy. Discontinuing the relationship may be difficult but it is the most advisable thing to do. Best of luck
ReplyDeleteSo touching.
ReplyDeleteThe safest option that will cause no sorrow is them calling off the wedding with each heading their separate ways.
In this case,love can never be enough when you bring a sickler into this world and u cause the child perpetual pains.
Maybe the marriage was never meant to be.
❤
I'll advise him to let go of the lady except there is an express / very clear instruction from God to go ahead marrying her.
ReplyDeleteMy parents are AC and As, they have 6 of us with the first 2 being SC. We lost the 1st at the age of 30.
If you plan on having 2 and both come as warriors nko? There is no medical or scientific proof to your ratio 1 in 4 please
I feel your brother's pain. The 25% chance is not one of four babies. It's 25% chance in EVERY pregnancy. Is it a risk he'd like to take? If he can afford it, there is a medical procedure they can do where sperm is taken from him and egg from his wife. It is then fertilized in the lab and the embryo that's not ss amongst all the embryos formed can be selected and implanted into his wife's uterus. It's almost like doing IVF. But it's expensive though. You can research on that. Goodluck with whatever decision you take.
ReplyDeleteIt is notvalmost like doing IVF, it is IVF with PGD testing done...the next is hoping tye embryo implants and that is up to God too.
DeletePoster getting married is not an option. Is better they go there separate ways than bringing a child to suffer SS crisis.
ReplyDeleteThey can have Healthy AS children. When the woman is pregnant, at 9weeks they will test the genotype of the embryo. The test is 300k. The only snag is that if it is SS, then na abortion be that. Please tell him and his bride to weigh their options. If they do not have the mind, then separation is the best advice. My Sister went through this process and they have 2 healthy babies.
ReplyDeleteThere are medical ways to get round having SS children.
ReplyDeleteStella this ya advice is perfecta
ReplyDeleteIt's safer to call off the wedding. I have a friend who is As and married to a fellow AS( it was a result of a one night stand that lead to pregnancy). Their child is As but subsequent pregnancies have been SS. What they do is elective abortion. At a point in the pregnancy,the genotype of the baby is tested and if SS.. terminated! After two of such terminations, they decided no more! Can your brother and his " wife" handle such trauma? And if they go ahead with any pregnancy can they handle the challenges of taking care of an SS child. Another friend of mine lost her 19 year old SS son two years ago. My dear,wisdom is profitable oh. He will find another love and so would she. Enough said!
ReplyDeleteWell my elder sis had a similar situation, both families were against the union. They went ahead and wedded in ikoyi court without the families' consent., I saw her wedding pix on her WhatsApp DP, that was how I knew she had gotten married. Though some months later both families conceded eventually and they marriage traditionally and in church.
ReplyDelete6yrs down They are happily married with 3kids all AA. There's this hospital in Lagos where she normally goes for a sickle cell test once her pregnancy is upto 3months. If the foetus is sickle cell positive, then the pregnancy would be terminated.
Luckily for her all 3 weren't.
So poster if your brother insists on going ahead with the marriage, he should do proper research to find out accessible options for their situation.
Good luck to him
My sister called off a relationship with a man she loved deeply. She was in so much emotional pain after and it hurt me a lot but she pulled through. What kept her going was knowing she did the right thing. She was not going to gamble the health of future kids. In this present day, nobody should marry when both are AS knowing what can happen to their kids. Plz let him think this through. Good luck to him
ReplyDeleteDear poster , the truth is nobody can authoritatively tell you which child will be sickle cell. It could be the first, second or third. Also, there is no guarantee only one child will be ‘SS’.. if they are lucky, they might not even have any sickle cell . it’s 50:50.. but the truth is if he has money, they can always check the genotype of the baby before birth . It’s available in Nigeria ..and they can decide if they want to keep the baby or not . It can be psychologically draining tho..
ReplyDeleteThere's a private hospital in Ghana that helps people like this to have healthy babies but it's expensive. Your brother can try there if he has the funds. I don't know if Stella will enable my comment if I mention the name of the hospital but It's in Accra. He should do his research and contact them for advise.
ReplyDeleteThe change in your brother's genotype might be a mistake from the lab,I don't think it is spiritual, that's why people do it in two or more labs to confirm.
ReplyDeleteFor a long time my dad thought he was AA,he did test to confirm.My mum is AA so my siblings and I didn't even gave it a thought to check our genotype.
When my sister was about to get married she discovered that she is AC, thank God her husband to be is AA. Mum insisted that she is AA,she did a new test to confirm this. We were then certain that it might be from my dad. Dad said he did his test long time ago,he did another and we discovered that he is AC. No devil changed his genotype,he has been AC all the while. Three of us including my dad are AC,I just thank God that my mum is an AA,if not the three of us would have been SS.
Please,tell your brother that love is not a enough when it comes to the issue of genotype. The journey can really drain all the love they have for each other.
I know it might not be easy but they will be fine eventually.
Kikelomo.....
Please he should abort marriage mission to the lady. It is emotionally draining, tasking and time consuming taking care of sickle cell children. You need a special level of patience. They will think now that they can cope till that time. I've seen it happen severally, an ex school mate Awele (may her soul RIP) was a warrior.
ReplyDeleteBut the one that remains fresh in my memory was the one I witnessed in NHA few years back when I rushed my mum on emergency. The woman rushed in with a girl of about 16, she was in terrible pains that even to pass an IV needle was difficult. Her scream rent the whole ER that even the doctors were no longer having it and lost their patience. Her mum was in tears and out of anger started cussing the girl, we had to beg her to be calm. Later found out she's the daughter of a big shot CP and she was to go for bone marrow transplant in Germany and just came back from one before the crisis. The money was there to take care of her, but her pains was torturing emotionally for them. The only girl and the only one amongst their children with sc.
Was it not also here I read on the woman who had SS children and the husband told her to travel down where she'll get enough care and help but later got married to another lady? Not everyone can handle it.
Please tell your brother to rethink it oh. Save themselves and the innocent child or children they'll have from pain. Prevention is always better than cure.
Genotypes don't change, well except it is some medical miracle. The test was probably not done properly first time, well in Naija who will trust the tests carried out in that country, always do more than one test.
ReplyDeleteGood afternoon,
ReplyDeletePls advise your brother and his fiancee to call off the wedding. There is a 25% chance PER PREGNANCY of birthing a Child with SS Genotype. The testing done at 9weeks and subsequent termination if SS could take its toll on the couple's mental health.
They should go to reputable ivf specialist to tell them the options available and the cost involved. They can get married
ReplyDeleteTechnology don pass all those levels.If they can afford it,there are certainly ways to give birth to kids that won’t be SS.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, God is the author and finisher of our faith. If it is God that authored their relationship then AS is nothing that God can't change. I would equally suggest NSPPD. Try it and see. Then come back and give your testimony. What have you got to lose?
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are AS and our kids are perfect and very healthy. We have 2 kids and we have no plans of having more. We knew our statuses before marriage but we damned the consequences. You might not be that lucky. So follow your heart. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteTechnology is still not guaranteed. The safest way is to call of the wedding.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen an SS warrior during a crisis? It is a heartbreaking something. You will not want to do this to any child or yourselves
Tee