Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmm....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

SO LONG A CHRONICLE...


Dear Stella and Bv's,


Thank you all for all you do. It's a long read please pardon my manners, I finally have a chance to pour my heart out and I just want to tell it all.


I grew up in a remote town in southwestern Nigeria. My mom walked out on us when I was six and my junior brother, four. 

She later died when I was eight. My aged father raised me and my junior brother. My mom has other grown up children elsewhere (I don't even know her first child). My dad has a grown up son before us. Despite the fact that my father is old, he tries his best to give us basic needs of life. 

My tragedy began when I finished primary school and I needed to proceed to secondary school. I was one of the top student in the state and I was offered scholarship but my elder brother (father's son) discouraged my father not to let me take the offer. His reason was.... 'I will be sent to boarding school and be maltreated' ....the fact that my dad so much love me made him take the bait because I later realized he did it not because he cares but because he hates me and my junior brother.


Going to secondary school was good and smooth until my dad became sick when I was in SS1, by this time my junior brother had been sent to Lagos to learn trade because my dad couldn't afford his school fees. I was left alone with my sick old dad. Please note that my elder brother was doing okay. He is married and working in federal government parastatals and lived less than an hour drive to where we stayed. He neglected us. I started doing menial jobs on weekends to make ends meet. I was just thirteen. I begin to lag behind in my academics.

A Once best student couldn't even make top five.


I later took a step that changed everything. 

In my second term in SS1, my school uniform was torn and my sandals became slippers. A guy promised to buy them for me if I let him sleep with me and I agreed, at the end of the day he did not keep to his promise and that was when I realized nobody was gonna help me. I threw myself into hard work. Every weekend I followed people to farm to help them and they paid me #200-#300 per day.

 I could put food on the table and afford one or two things. I used my old clothes for menstruation, washed them and kept them till next month. I joggled between three almost torn panties.


I graduated secondary school 2008 with five credits excluding Maths, English and Biology. I started working full time, from sales girl to hawking and all. In all of these my elder brother turned a blind eye and my mom's children are not even doing well for themselves. My mom's family are well to do but they neglected us like we never existed


I lost my dad year 2011, I was already nineteen and an area big sis offered to bring me to Lagos. That's when another nightmare began. She introduced me to prostitution and I refused and this sis of mine called everyone in my small hometown telling them I slept with her husband, person wey her husband don leave teytey because of her kurukere waka o.

 I couldn't go back home.

 A good samaritan offered me a job as sales girl and her shop as shelter. I finally felt ease in a long time. Things got better, I got another job and I could afford a place of my own (a room).


I gathered money, rewrote my 0'levels in 2013. I made it. ..8 credits. I put in for part time in one of the Polytechnics in Lagos. Finally, I can become somebody...I could do something with my miserable life.


All this time I've been having boyfriends and they always treat me bad..... either they cheat or become abusive or violent and any time I sensed danger I just move on and never look back except for two that was good to me I had to break up with one because he is AS and I'm AS and the other just broke up with me out of the blues with no good reason.


In 2015, I met a guy who I thought perfectly fits in.....godly, not abusive, not cheating and all. In 2016 December he asked me to marry him and I said yes. I thought he is the one....the best and I could trust him with me not knowing I only knew what he wanted me to know and saw the side he wanted me to see.


We got married 2017 and my nightmare began. I got pregnant immediately after marriage....I lost my job (I'm already doing my HND). He lost his job too (his boss relocated out of the country before our marriage, he told me his boss just went for a course only for me to realize the boss is not coming back. He said he didn't know his boss was not coming back but I think he lied).

 I also found out he borrowed to finance our wedding ( please note, I told him I wanted something small and intimate but he said he has always picture how his wedding day will be plus he can afford it) I had less than 50 guests out of the over 600 people that was at our wedding. We were jobless and in debt at the same time.


During pregnancy, I was looking for something in the house, and that's when I stumbled on his documents and realized hubby never had HND like he told me...he lied.... I confronted him and he made up a story, said he only has ND and even ND result we no dey see.....my world and the trust I had in him died that day.


Like the wedding ish will teach him a lesson, I gave birth and this guy still went to borrow money to do big naming ceremony just to show off and beat his friends that had done before. I shouted and fought him but he painted me black like I don't want him to celebrate the birth of his child.


After the birth of our child, one of his friends who stayed with us a little while when we got married and knew what we were going through gave him #500,000 loan to do business but instead of doing business my husband realized our gas cooker is old and he changed it and used the money anyhow until we had #150,000 left. 

I fought him when I realized how much we had left and he gave me the balance left to do business. ( I forgot to tell you guys we are living in one of his relative house who stays outside the country). Their was a vacant shop in front of the house and I started selling provisions......nah for inside we dey feed and take care of our baby girl. Now the business collapsed during lockdown plus the owner of the house we are staying kicked us out during lockdown. We haven't pay back the loan till date.


Now we have no source of income, hubby just eats, sleeps and thinks of who to borrow money from to finance the next day....he is owing almost everybody on his contact list.


I've been looking for jobs but couldn't find any....the ones I see the pay can't even cover putting my girl in daycare while I go to work. One of the reasons I couldn't get a good job is because my HND certificate is not out(I graduated last November) and I can't clear my ND certificate. Even when I pass interview the fact that I can't provide my certificates just makes the employers kick me out....even the ones that reason with me tells me to come back when I have my certificate. I even want to learn tailoring but where do I get the fee from....do business? Where is the capital?




Stella, I'm back to the dark days and it is even worse this time because I have a child to look after. I'm so tired of life....I look down from our flat like I should just jump down and end it....but the fact that I know my baby girl will suffer double if I leave makes me reconsider (she will be three in May and she's so adorable).....my life sucks.....I wish days never break most days.... I've lost my vibes...my strength...my determination...my will...life feels like hell.... I cry everyday and I have stopped praying, fasting and trusting...


I am a Christian....God hates divorce. Even if I leave I have no where to go.... surviving on the streets would I have been easy without a child.....

I have no one to talk to until I stumbled on your blog.......help me guys...what do I do? I am fading each day   

*Read the War room and continue hustling you will be fine ...Also stop fighting him.He is a good man but just lazy and a liar.

God bless!!!