STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HEART BROKEN
Hello Ma'am,
God bless you and my irreplaceable brothers and sisters , I must say I have learnt a lot from this blog since 2014.
Please kindly bear with me and correct my errors because I'm not really good at this!!
I was 31yr by 3rd march 2021, I was thinking that I will celebrate my birthday this year for the first time in my life and that I will celebrate it with the one I like( maybe with my husband to be) I met him January and he seems to be the perfect man I have ever prayed for, loving, caring , prayerful, educating, advisable, understanding just name it....he possess almost all the qualities I have been praying for in a man.
But one thing was not just OK , I was unable to love him , but I was ready to go like that because of loneliness and the worst part, I am an introvert!!
He came far away from my town, When I met him, he said he's an orphan, he has nobody in life, he came to my state for work and to do business, he loves me and I have all the qualities he wanted in a woman, he will help me grow in all areas, he will support me to stand and make sure I accomplish my dreams, he said no sex till we marry this December and this endeared me to him more because i have been celibate for a while now..
Please, what should I do? I can't let him go like that... I'm really hurt and I want him to feel same...
Someone wanted to help me with my rent and he made me lose the person!!
I don't know what to do now if I get mad at him,he might likely walk away.
Should I pretend and wait when he collect salary, I will just collect my share and walk away?
Someone advised I should blackmail him.
Please note: I am a struggling woman with the help of no one, I am not lazy, I sell by the road side with the little capital I had, and the business is not really moving...that was why I almost fall for his sugar coated tongue because a sister in need is a sister in tears!!!
Please pardon my writing, God bless you all!!!
Hello Ma'am,
God bless you and my irreplaceable brothers and sisters , I must say I have learnt a lot from this blog since 2014.
Please kindly bear with me and correct my errors because I'm not really good at this!!
I was 31yr by 3rd march 2021, I was thinking that I will celebrate my birthday this year for the first time in my life and that I will celebrate it with the one I like( maybe with my husband to be) I met him January and he seems to be the perfect man I have ever prayed for, loving, caring , prayerful, educating, advisable, understanding just name it....he possess almost all the qualities I have been praying for in a man.
But one thing was not just OK , I was unable to love him , but I was ready to go like that because of loneliness and the worst part, I am an introvert!!
He came far away from my town, When I met him, he said he's an orphan, he has nobody in life, he came to my state for work and to do business, he loves me and I have all the qualities he wanted in a woman, he will help me grow in all areas, he will support me to stand and make sure I accomplish my dreams, he said no sex till we marry this December and this endeared me to him more because i have been celibate for a while now..
This man told me to put a stop to many people around me that he wants me to focus.He promised me so many things, we talked about so many thing, finances, numbers of children, house chores, so many and the communication was great.
He gives me hope and I always thank God for the day I met him,I thought my burden will be light, I prayed everyday for him to have favour.
But my instinct was not at rest so I decided to search his facebook and i discovered he is married with 3 kids.
But my instinct was not at rest so I decided to search his facebook and i discovered he is married with 3 kids.
I asked him initially, he told me he is no longer with the wife, that the wife committed adultery and the village people disgrace her and threw her out and he could not do anything to help her, he does not know where they are bla bla bla...and this happened 3years ago.
He even warned me to stay away from social media and focus in my life. I careless o but of recent I decided to go and search for the wife...
And behold they are still happily married, the wife posted their family pictures Dec.last year and her birthday was Feb, their anniversary is this month.
And behold they are still happily married, the wife posted their family pictures Dec.last year and her birthday was Feb, their anniversary is this month.
Please, what should I do? I can't let him go like that... I'm really hurt and I want him to feel same...
Someone wanted to help me with my rent and he made me lose the person!!
I don't know what to do now if I get mad at him,he might likely walk away.
Should I pretend and wait when he collect salary, I will just collect my share and walk away?
Should I help him destroy the marriage he never value by telling his wife.
Should I just let go?
Should I just let go?
Someone advised I should blackmail him.
Please note: I am a struggling woman with the help of no one, I am not lazy, I sell by the road side with the little capital I had, and the business is not really moving...that was why I almost fall for his sugar coated tongue because a sister in need is a sister in tears!!!
Please pardon my writing, God bless you all!!!
*It hurt me reading this.. especially the part of a sister in need is a sister in tears.. oh...
My dear, please do not blackmail him or revenge.. do not even take his money, just tell him he are no longer interested or you just send him to voicemail please... forget him and move on.
Thank God he did not browse you or got you pregnant, that would have been worse!
Why do some men lie so much?I dont get it at all.
Dont worry, your husband will come.
Poster please listen to Stella words. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteSee wickedness . Wat was his mission thou??? Na wa. Poster move on. God will deal with him.
DeleteEvil man. If you dont have money for your house rent, collect it, pay your house rent.
DeleteAfter sometimes, move on. But if you can raise it, don't collect, but moveee on.
Chai..this man meet better woman sha...haaaaaa....see the way the Buffon exposed his family o. What if this babe was the devil's sister? Abeg bone him side
DeleteI think some men just enjoy living double lives. They will deny their wives and children, too bad. Poster move on, vengeance is for the Lord. I am glad you were able to dig and find out the truth. Now free yourself.
DeleteCollect rent money oh.Street hard oh.How will you pay for it since business is dull and he chased who was to help you.Pretend you don't know anything yet.After he has helped with your rent,block and ghost him.All these don't pay evil with evil no be for where wickedness dey.Some men are just wicked.
Delete31 is not 61,even some 61 year old still find love and marry.Take this one as a lesson and move on.Your own will find you.And any man that tries to isolate you from friends and family is a serious red flag.
You have life,you have good health,please buy cake or suya the one your money go reach.Pop wine,cook jollof rice and celebrate your birthday oh.Don't let the idiot ruin it.
Dunno why men lie about their marital status tho, abi u dont wanna spend daz y u lie n pretend? Even if you have 3 wives, there are babes that are ready to bang u for free sef. Meanwhile u said u unable to live him, why go through pain then? If u tell d wife, she will forgive him while you continue to cry.
ReplyDeleteYou can't break his marriage.
DeleteIf you blackmail him it will backfire.
Pick yourself up and walk.
Get yourself an apparent you can afford on your own.
You have no entitlement to his salary.
Don't burn the bridge.
Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
ReplyDelete“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
This is seriously serious and what other evidence do y'all need to affirm that married men cheat a lot in marriages than women? Nawa o!
ReplyDeleteNa bad market, just throw him away. But if it makes you feel better, collect your rent money and thrash him.
ReplyDeleteJust let go.
ReplyDeletePoster pls forgive and let him go. A sinner will never go unpunished.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you followed your instincts and did a little "search" on him, which resulted in you finding out he is happily married with kids.
ReplyDeleteLadies, please do not joke with your gut feelings. We have all this thing on the inside, call it intuition or whatever... Don't ignore it. The signs are always there.
In the first place, he lied to you that he is an orphan and has nobody. He also cut you away from others. No one with a good intention will cut you away from others.
Please, go on with your life. You will find love at the appropriate time but love yourself first. All the best
Poster read this comment very well.
DeletePlease, don't listen to Stella. I am a man and I want you to deal with him. Didn't we read a story on social media recently about a man who demolished the house he built for his girlfriend after they broke up? If someone toys with your heart and emotions, mess them up.
ReplyDeleteHe promised you marriage right? You might as well play along and if he doesn't marry you by December, take him a court. A lot of ladies don't know this, but if a man promises you marriage and reneges on the promise, the constitution empowers you to sue him and you'll win. A lawyer who is willing to work pro bono should the need to sue the bastard ever arise should please contact the poster. Meanwhile, feel free to have other boyfriends. Don't chase any man away on account of a guy that hasn't paid your bride price or one that doesn't provide for you financially.
Collect his money. That should be a compensation for the filthy lies he told you. In fact, don't even wait until December,collect his money then inform his wife that the goat is having an affair and tell her where to find you guys. When she shows up and causes a scene, tell her you didn't know he is married, then sue him for promising you marriage when he is still married. There is no way you won't win such a case. Any lawyer who agrees to represent you in court should get a percentage if a verdict is made in your favour.
Guy u hard o!!!
DeleteWow! Never knew you could sue one who promised you marriage and renege on it.
DeleteShebi, if I had known, the young man who I was with for 4years, wedding date fixed for December and he got married in January (story plenty), I for sue am.
On the other hand, would I have sued him sef, if I had known?🤔 Cos, I got a very good opportunity to revenge, but whilst thinking and deciding on it, God stopped me. I heard Him clearly. Kai, I was pained.
Let me not go into details cos I have people I know, here
@yada
DeleteYou talk well 👍
Anon 15:45, I believe in dealing with stupid people. We tend to leave judgement for God in this country and it's not ok. Exact revenge whenever you have the opportunity because God won't always punish people who offend you. They might even repent and leave a normal and fruitful life and you'll be there hoping that nemesis catches up with them. It doesn't always work like that.
DeleteWishes, yes, you can sue someone who promises to marry you and reneges on the promise. A lot of ladies just don't know this.
Tenny, I won't advice anyone who has been deceived and lied to to take it easy or leave it for God. A lot of politicians, who by the money they've embezzled, have killed thousands of Nigerians are still in good health. God hasn't killed them yet. They'll continue to be in good health while we keep praying for God to destroy them and He won't.
Don’t do anything with the wives o. A lot of them would rather attack the mistress even if she knows the husband is fully at fault. Or she will expose you thinking it will make her husband “respect” her more. Just get your rent money and move on or sue if you can
Delete@ Wishes yours own u can win the case cos their are evidence but how can u sue a man that said @i will marry you from just his mouth”????
Delete@Lilysimple: Sorry, proposing to someone, going to meet her family, fixing a wedding date, and you suddenly went AWOL and next we hear is you got married 3weeks after the fixed date, is "just his mouth" to you, ba?
DeleteSorry, if you haven't walked in my shoes and know the hurt and disgrace I passed through, kindly don't ask me such.
Note: I don't mean to be rude but if I sound so, I am sorry
Lol @ Yada. The law doesn't work like that. What you quoted isnt also a Constitutional provision.
DeleteMoreso, our statutes allow for Freedom of Association. Therefore, you can't force a wife or a husband on an unwilling partner.
Assuming our laws even allow it, there's also the issue of strong , irrebutable evidence which she must provide.
Even if she scales that, the man can simply put up a defence of immoral conduct on her part, which made him change his mind.
It's not a case one can have a chance of winning in court.
Painful reading this.
ReplyDeletePoster, it is well with you.
If i was in your shoes, i will pretend not to know of his marital status. Collect money for the rent/business which was due and he made you loose the helper. Thank God you did not do the do. Yes, demand for money to start up business.
After that, you tell him you found out he was stil married and you cannot keep up . If he refuses to let go then i will help him destroy the marriage he never valued by telling his wife. Then relocate to where he cannot see me and will delete anything concerning him from my ife.
God will provide for you. He is an idiot
So sorry about all you've been through. It's also a good thing that you've not been intimate with him.
ReplyDeleteLet him know you've found out about all his lies and leave him to God. Don't revenge on him, just move on. God will come through for you. Your own husband will come soon. It's well dear.
This is so heartbreaking!!!
ReplyDeleteI hate men who lie about Their Marital status, God!!
@poster, find comfort in the fact that no sex was involved.
but that man is Wicked and he will meet his waterloo.
This life Sha. Its well with you poster. You will be fine. Its just time you need to heal. Please guide your heart seriously to avoid doing any negative thing you will regret tomorrow. Life is full of surprises.
ReplyDeleteIf you check well. His wife is the bread winner. That is how the husband of my former colleague told a friend that his wife died and left him with three boys. My beautiful friend has been giving me sweet gist about this man and l pressured her to bring him to my house. Lo and behold he is my colleagues husband. The wife is very much alive. Suffering as the breadwinner while the husband is a jobless serial cheat. This colleagues is amongst those women who can vow that their husband cannot cheat. It is not me that will cause her pain by telling her what l heard or saw. I only told my friend she is yet to meet her husband because the man is happily married and the wife works in my company. Case close.
Please leave him to God. He will meet his match soon. Don't hinder your prayers by seeking for revenge. Vengeance belongs to God
jesus christ, the extent at which these cheating men can go just to lie about their marital status is really terrible. nna ihe kpekus umuwanyi na ibute dikwa 10 much biko nu.
DeleteNothing good comes from the wife being a breadwinner while the husband lazes about. Men that sex is on their brain 24/7.
DeletePoster! Runaway from this one chance man.
ReplyDeleteHe will end up tagging you a stalker, how you’ve been stalking his life to marry him... his wife will truly believe him. You never happy say he never turn you to location 2 wife.
Aproko
It's well with you my sister. If I were you enh, I'll punish him by milking him o but if you can forgive and forget, please do
ReplyDeleteThis nonsense is becoming too much from men.promising innocent women marriage especially when you hit 30.. what's all these now.You don't even care about the person's mental health after finding out you decieved.I'll be thirty in two weeks time and I dindo care about it because when once I care,I'll get hurt trying to rush into marriage..Even one guy at my work place who is earning light change as a private school teacher likes doing this to newly employed teachers..Hes even cohabitating with his children's mother...
ReplyDeleteSorry but this is why I'm an advocate for women making or lying about their real age. I do it all the time..u notice when u say ur 30 the men start promising marriage to get in bed with u cus they assume ur desperate
DeletePoster I'm so sorry okay. Let him go, cut off all communication with him, give him to God, God knows how to handle people like this
ReplyDeletePoster don't listen to Stella. Make sure you deal with that foolish man. Collect the money you can get from him and then ask a male friend to pretend to be your bf and go where you know he will see you. His type doesn't deserve a direct breakup.
ReplyDeleteHow "good" girls end up. I'm sorry but you are too naive. A man chased everyone away from your life and you agree because you love to please men. Have sense. Let no man dictate how you live your life.
ReplyDelete???
DeleteBitter but true. While teaching girls how to be good we forgot to teach them how to be smart and ruthless in a cold wicked world. Balance is key
DeleteWho told you all they have not been intimate??????which married man will go into a relationship with a sidepiece, lie about being married and not gbensh??
ReplyDeletePoster treat his fuck up, collect his money,send his wife all your pics and chats with him let her know he lied about being married...
What RUBBISH.....Single babes always dig deep..............o married men LIE ALOT
No mind her, for her to be this pained they have had sex. Even if, poster ask God for forgiveness. If you can get money for your rent from him, good if you can’t all good move on.
DeletePlease no more sex before marriage.
No harm in having sex with the wrong guys. We have all made that mistake except we wanna claim celibacy. Just dust yourself up, forgive yourself and move forward
DeleteSome men can be so wicked kai!
ReplyDeleteThat man is on a mission. He wants to use you for jazz. Take it to the bank. What will he be dating you for as he’s a married man and doesn’t want sex?
ReplyDeleteYou don’t know Nigerian men? They would rather toast somebody in a coma than spend that time at home with their wives. Some of them act like they are cursed, forget jazz. Afterall the ones abroad do worse
DeleteIs it not one foolish guy I reconnected with that stays in Houston..I met him before leaving for naija. Kehinde abi kenny abi what is that his stupid name..fool was telling me about how he wants me, is interested in me..I had followed him with another faceless page on Instagram unknown to him and my main page. I recommend all ladies do this cus u deserve to investigate b4 going further..This fool posted his oyinbo wife as a story and their newborn daughter talking about welcome to the world and spending your first valentine on this Earth n he popped sparkling wine.. ode. 😂😂😂
Delete. He had hidden the story from my main page but I could see it on my burner page. Omo..na so I just block the guy from everywhere.. no explanation. Lmao..imagine the effort and cunning mindset behind doing that. Instead of him to use that mind to improve his life. What a loser. Mo block weyrey danu
I don't get it. Does he want to take a 2nd wife?
ReplyDeleteWhy did you chase everyone away? Shouldn't you have pretended ? Or he has been spending on you and you didn't want to get him angry?
Anyway that wants everyone out of your life cos you both are together is always of no good.
Anyway, there is no need blackmailing him or reporting to his wife since he didn't chop your plate. Just tell him you k ow his lies and move on. This kinda man is manipulative,he might find out you already know cos you are already emotionally down.
It is well with you, beg your landlord to wait a little longer.
Na wa oh suffering dey this naija oh. Which wey people
Play along, deliberately raise marriage issues, make him promise you marriage and give you assurances. Record the conversation and sue the idiot. No pity please. Forget above his wife and blackmail. Until two years ago I had no idea women could sue idiotic men who promises marriage knowing they are not going to marry the women. If a man goes out of his way to be wicked to you, fight back with all you have got.
ReplyDeletePlease follow STELLAS advise and move..
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad. And the poor wife might be there blaming jazz or cursing side chicks not knowing that it’s the husband who WANTS to be cheating. These men get away with too much. It’s not fair
ReplyDeleteShe may not have the money to sue (roadside business) so she should just get her rent money and japa. Or if he’s a dangerous man she should escape now. What a horrible man. Must he be married ? Making the wife and other women outlook like fools to satisfy his ego
ReplyDeleteTake Stella's advise abeg. He's not worth the stress. Even it you should sue, Nigerians will turn the story around and call you desperate. His wife and family will call you home wreaker. The man will spoil your good name around. Nobody would believe you haven't slept with him. So the stress is not worth it abeg.
ReplyDeleteStella verify her story, if she's truly struggling, I can help with her rent.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you
DeletePoster calm down and collect your house rent from him before you discard him. Do not play good girl anymore to him when he already made you lost a person that was to pay your rent. Just collect your house rent and never allow him sleep with you.
ReplyDeleteHe must be stupid to play this useless joke with you.
The man is evil and a psycho. Pls collect the rent and move on.Its not evil to collect the money.It will help you in the long run that u didn't lose totally.Even if boss wants to help you with rent still collect no dulling
ReplyDeleteMake sure you play him as he has played you. Collect the rent money and more money you need to heal and save for your other needs and drop him like it's hot. Nonsense!
ReplyDelete