Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TIPS NEEDED TO GET OVER AN EX
Please how do you get over an ex that is constantly in your face?. We broke up towards the end of 2020 and I just got a new job in which I am directly reporting to him.
Work makes us communicate daily.
I am honestly trying to move on since it didn't work out between us though the love is still there but at times while communicating with him, memories of our past just keeps popping up.
I know I should have rejected the job but I needed the money. The money is almost four times what I was paid in my former place of work. I applied for the job in the company when we were still together and I got it after we broke up.
Recently, after giving him the report of the job done, he replied with '''okay dear''and this okay dear has turned my head upside down although I told him immediately not to use the 'dear' term for me again.
Please ,people who work with their ex in the same place, how do you do it?. Resigning is not even an option here.
Please help a sister. Thank you.
Let me read comments on this.....
Ahhhh. Know your priority is there to do your job. Keep emotions at the office gate and relate with him on professional level
ReplyDeleteWhat made you guys to break up? Isn't there room for reconciliation?
DeleteWhat if this is God's way of trying to bring you guys together?
Know your priorities. Think about the money you are making and your career, ask yourself if it is worth losing over an ex.
DeletePersonally self i dont like dating people around my street, office,church or people that i will see often in case relationship scatter but i understand you own.
15.28 please stop putting more ideas in her hear and worsening her situation.
DeletePoster, don't worry. You will get used to seeing him and get over it. If the feelings isn't mutual, it's only a matter of time before you snap out of it.
Meanwhile, lemmi clear where I want fall while laughing at "and this okay dear has turned my head upside down" like haqhaqhaqhaq 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Matters of the heart eh.
The poster is not woke. Salary x 4 and you're doing heart love. Jus negodu. Should you not be using your history with him to your advantage. I need this your kind of situation right now.
DeletePOSTER, BEFORE WE START GIVING YOU ADVICE, WAS HE YA BOYFRIEND OR SUGAR DADDY??? Na question 🙋♀️ I ask o
DeleteSmall “okay dear” and your poozay is wet. Don’t chin up and face your life. Be there doing anyhow. Who knows if he’s dating the other girl in your department? You need tough love, not sorry. Be setting yourself up for extra heartbreak and retrenchment. Mtchew!
Press your ignore button
DeletePoster I know that the heart wants what it wants and since you said you need the money..Just keep it professional if he replied you with OKAY DEAR keep it moving..Don't overthink things..The best way is to treat very dealings with him in a professional manner, don't give room for mushy mushy lovey dovey moments with him..Who knows he may be placing a trap to get you off his radar..That does not mean you should not smile, chin up, maintain a good posture, dress well, meet up with targets/plan on being a high flyer...With time you wonder why you were such a sucker for him...Just take it one step at a time...Just comport yourself; it's not gonna be easy...
ReplyDeleteNice one phoenix.
DeleteOne step at a time poster, one step at a time. You'll be fine.
"Who knows he may be placing a trap to get you off his radar" thanks
DeleteWho knows seeing her too in the same space as him might be irritating him and he could be trying to make her feel relaxed so she won't suspect he has no goodwill towards her meanwhile she is there catching feeling.
hmm Phoenix, i love your tips
DeleteShe should just date someone else period
DeleteSmh, such a weakling.
ReplyDeleteYou are setting up yourself for double dose of pain, he will gbensh u and clean mouth while u cry more. Better think like a man and act like a woman. Too many emotional ridden chics out there
Must you be so negative?
DeleteWhat if they reconcile and then live happily ever after?
Ha. Cam dam abeg.
DeleteAnon i agree with u. Make she dey der make ok dear dey turn her brain. Better focus. If we like advise u. I know say una go still GBENSH. Wait till he introduce u to his latest chick.🤣
DeleteYou just typed my mind anon 15:09.
DeleteToughen up poster , else you're setting yourself up for more heartbreak
Okay dear 😂😂. Let me read comments too
ReplyDeleteHhhmm,, dis life no balance true true.
ReplyDeletePoster jus tell it to Jesus and throw yourslf at the holyspirit.
Tighten your mind abeg!!
Poster, calm down.
ReplyDeleteYou just started working there, of course it would be awkward for a while but if you persevere, things will get better and you’d even forget that there was something between you both.
That “okay dear” was probably something he was used to saying whilst you were still dating and maybe just slipped out. Don’t start getting ideas.
There’s no reason why you should have rejected the job offer, imagine getting almost four times your previous salary and you’re still thinking with your heart, better start thinking with your account balance girl!
Don’t annoy me oh. Get over him joor.
Infact, create a reward system for yourself.
Everytime you have to deal with him at work and you successfully conduct yourself in a professional manner, buy yourself something nice that weekend, give yourself a spa treat, massage etc.
After a while it’ll become normal to you.
Cheers.
P.S I love this ur advice.
DeleteDear poster pls go with the above advise,is not easy but u van do it.wish u all the best.
Why is it that the men will always move on and be happy and smirking but the ladies are riled up and moody when there is a break in relationships?
ReplyDeleteCan anyone answer me please?
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
I tell you that if she (foolishly) gives that guy booty in the office, he will collect it and move on the next minute while this lady will still be sulking
It's easy for men to move on because to most men they see women as prizes that once they have carnal knowledge of the woman they loose interest and set their sight on higher target. For the women they are moved by what they see, they build their world around what they hear so when there's a break up, the woman's world is destroyed and it takes time to let go and heal and it takes time to have trust and build another world again.
DeleteI don't understand either. We broke up, no loser no victor, very simple. Like you are not the reason I breathe, why should I whine over you? It can be annoying. they say its love, then it means you were in a relationship where d guy never loved u naa, dats double mumu.
Delete@16:41
DeleteIn that case, the best bet for women is not to 'be conquered"; not to give vagina, period!
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄close the cookie jar and your heart/emotions will be safe.
You need to start putting extra energy in your work cos it seems you still have space in your head to entertain him.
ReplyDeleteAct like he doesn't exist and keep your distance away from him unless you absolutely have to interact on a work related basis. Don't tell anyone in your office about him or your feelings else it will get back to him and they ll make things worse with all that office gossiping.
Your main purpose there is to collect your fat check. There are plenty of men outside of workplace to date. xx
Exactly don't entertain office gossip or tell any office colleague about your past flings..Just zip it 🤐🤐🤐
DeleteThis is difficult. Is he the one that gave you the job or made it possible for you to get the job in his company?
ReplyDeletePlease handle this issue with care to avoid loosing the job. I pray you get the best advice you seek.
He is toying with you else why is he calling you dear in an organization setting? Isn't that too informal? If you care about your job you will forget him forever. Do not let him make you lose your job.
ReplyDeleteSome people just call others "dear" naturally. I know people like that
DeleteWomen and emotions. Get your head in that job and work.Think like a man would. Ignore him and face front. You need to make that money. If you still think about him so much, you might need to sleep with another man as rebound. Do anything but don't quit that job. I'm warning you sister girl.
ReplyDeleteIf your salary isn't enough to motivate you on how you need this very growth in your career and life;then you aren't ready to move on..
ReplyDeleteNo one said Break-up is easy;but do you really think he is bothered as you are regarding the broken relationship?
Maybe it's just me;but the suffer for Naija can't make me see money goals and still be distracted..
@MARTINS
😃 @ your last sentence.
DeleteYour head get oil
DeleteI'm with you on this Martins ✍🏿
DeleteI used to daydream about something like this I'd even make up scenario to make the daydream sweet.
ReplyDeleteOh dear,sorry about the breakup.I'm proud of you for facing your fears,some people would have chickened out.Now,the breakup is still very recent,so just give it time and don't be too hard on yourself.Try to be professional and ignore his endearments "dear" et al.If you give him the impression that it gets you all riled up,he will keep at it and it will mess you up in that office and affect your work.Act like you didn't hear it anytime he says it and keep it moving,he will get the message and be professional.I'm sure he too might be feeling awkward at your presence there and who knows...might be setting you up for a sack or something.Be very smart dear and with time,all the emotions will die a natural death or at least be in check.Keep your head up okay,this too shall pass and when you get your own man,you won't even notice his existence.Again, please oh,don't let him gbensh you again oh,it will be a complete disaster now that you guys work in the same office.Be wise!All the best
ReplyDeletePoster you already have a motivation so be focused. Ignore the dear & another issue. You went there to work so get it right.
ReplyDeleteIts not easy but you have to make this job work for you.
If you keep thinking about all the good memories you 2 had together, it means your brain is working. Please start remembering all the bad things he did to you and watch yourself get over him and even become disgusted remembering him
ReplyDeletePlease keep it professional. Don't allow sweet words get into your head and please forgive him and face front.
ReplyDeleteYou no serious. Face your work.
ReplyDeleteYou got a job that pays 4 times more than your previous job while others lost their jobs. Focus
I see both of you nacking again and coming back together. This is inevitable.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you think of the reason you guys broke up in the first place? The guy is just using your head and you are falling for it. You are at advantage, dress well, always look good and find yourself another boyfriend. Make sure the new guy comes to pick you after work or during lunch every once in while.
ReplyDeleteThe guy no send you oh, I can bet my Valentine's gift on that.
ReplyDeleteAccept your fears and move on, I once dated my course mate infact I was head over hills and when things went South we broke up, that didn't stoped me from going to school or attending lectures, I dressed beautiful hold my head high and sat close to him and took my stand of no going back, we greet, chat and even go to canteen together cos his friends were my friends. MY DEAR I know it's kind of difficult but you have to embrace it, in my case whole class of almost 250 knew we were dating and when we broke up if they see me they will be like where is .... It made me uncomfortable for a while but I knew what I wanted
My dear anything aside work and what you have to achieve at the end of the month shove it , ain't worth it
But on the other hand he might still have feelings for you, in this case let him be the one to bring it up...and if he does take it slow don't rush into his bed
HUSTLE, HAVE FAITH TILL YOU MAKE IT. 💪 🙏 ✈️ 🏠 🚗
Poster I totally understand you....just keep it professional, do a course or take on something that will take your whole attention and even when he says ok love...your mind go Dey somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteMe that used to form tough girl...I have a friend we are yet to fuck but we are close and do smooch most times, once this guy calls me *Baby girl*... my vag will be vibrating and I will be orgasming. Lol. So I do understand you perfectly well.
Ok dear" and butterflies are dancing in your stomach.
ReplyDeleteNeed I remind you that jobs are hard to come by in this country ?
Secondly let me advice you- if you get into another relationship while working there, don't try to flaunt your relationship on your ex.
Concentrate on your job and getting paid.
I don't want to read any sad chronicle from you.
Story of my life, my ex whom I still see constantly is trying to worm his way back in my life, after all what I suffered, problem is we co-parent, so I drop the kids off with him every weekend, always acting lovey-dovey, and I’m currently seeing someone, I just pray I don’t fall into temptation, the lord is our strength
ReplyDeleteWhen you're ready to give us the real details, let us know.
ReplyDeleteFirst, he helped you get the job, stop using many words to avoid saying that.
2ndly, I think he's married, isn't he?
3rdly, una go soon begin fuck again. So far as he helped you get that job, you will have to stay loyal to him while there...
Spot on my man! You dont mince words.👍
DeleteQuoting you, "...the love is still there..." Care to throw a hint why y'all broke up?
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have an alternative job,you better face your job squarely,probably a a few months without a source of income will reset your heart back to default settings.
ReplyDelete