Hmmmmm......
UNABLE TO LOVE
Good day Stella and bvs
I don't know how to explain, but I'll try.
I have a problem loving a guy, I may just like you and your personality but no deep affection or love there. And if you try to force it out of me, I just get irritated with you.
It has happened before and it is happening again. I have this guy that wants to marry me, the same thing is happening. I don't know how to describe the feelings, he is a nice loving guy and all, but he just puts me off.
The more I try to love him, the more irritated I get. We are planning to get married this year and I'm so scared if my attitude will change for the better or worse after the marriage.
Whenever he calls, cos we are kinda far from each other, I make a conscious effort to be nice but he just say something and I'm not impressed. I don't know if I am expecting too much from a man.
I read romantic books and watch romantic movies o, and I am a romantic at heart and in my fantasies. I just don't know how to express it out to the guys that love me.
I don't know if anyone understands me or can explain how I can go about myself.
Thank you.
Hmmmm,I dont understand how you feel....
Once you find that right one this feeling will disappear. In other words, the guy is not the one
ReplyDeleteIn other words, the guy is not the one, she should continue searching.
DeleteTill when?
I don't think so..I am like that , I am not really a love love person..I like romantic movies,songs, but don't know how to love a guy...I am married now and doing fine,so I used other criteria to pick any guy I want to be with ...intelligence, smart, attitude etc
DeleteYou are not yet inlove; simple!
DeleteWhen you find love, you will not write any chronicles
Who thought you doggy?
This is the whole damn truth...poster when you find the one,all this withholding of yours will disappear. 15:37 let some one love you when you get that Butterfly come back and tell us how far.
DeleteMaybe u were meant to dedicate ur life to a deity!! 🤷🏽♀️
DeleteI think you take people who care for granted.
DeleteYou are attracted to those who do not really have your time.
God help you o
I would have agreed that when she finds the right one the feeling will disappear if she doesn't read romance novels. Those novels are unrealistic and mess up people's expectations of how wooing and falling in love should happen. You better stop living in fantasy land.
DeleteSeconded @Pushup
DeleteThere is something called being "AROMANTIC". Read about it....
DeleteThis is seriously serious
ReplyDeletePoster you just havnt met the one. I use to think will i ever genuinely love someone too, cos i dated guys i liked but cant say i loved dem. Even when my Ex will say i love u,i just cld not say it back.
DeleteThen i met my husband,i loved him from when we first met and started talking. This doesnt mean our journey was smooth,infact it wasnt.
I think its very important to have genuine love for ur partner but then even those dat fall head over hills like romance novels the marriage still crashes and some just like their partner and stay married for 50yrs.
This life doesnt have formular sef.
Start with taking Blood Capsules. Make Blood flow in your veins . Be like say Na Water dey there 🤣😂
ReplyDelete🤣🤣
DeleteJesus😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteYou have only met the guys who love you, you are yet to meet the one you love in return. When the one whom your heart beats for shows up, irritation and struggling to be nice to him will be the least of your worries.
ReplyDeleteFact
DeleteThis is so me, I might have a crush on a guy but once he asks me out, I'll just hate him for no reason
ReplyDeleteSpiritual husband is disturbing you!
DeleteI will tell you truth As silly as this might sound your case is spiritual.
DeleteOr maybe Your situation can be likened to "A man's thrill of the chase' the process of fantasizing over what could be and not the actual relationship. The adrenaline rush you get attracting the attention of your conquest immediately comes to a halt when he reciprocates your feelings and at that point, he has lost and you have won and the rush is over because you start to look for someone else to crush on. The novelty wears off immediately those men indicates interest. There is no longer a challenge to you and they lose their value in your eyes. The allure disappears when they reciprocate because you were crushing on what you feel you can't have, an unachievable feat. Immediately they show interest you mentally bring them down from the pedestal you placed them upon and see them as nothing extraordinary. You were seeking their attention as a sort of self-approval. You think to yourself, "they aren't all that after all" if they were special they wouldn't notice me, right? You despise them because you then feel you wasted time fawning over men who aren't worth it to start with. But you are the problem here and not them. It could be what the anons suggested but it could also be psychological. Try your best to stop hating and stop crushing. Get to know a man as friends first and make sure he is someone who can hold your attention. You do not have to date immediately just go along with the friendship and get to know them for who they are and try your best to move from the stage of fantasizing to the stage of reality. You likely have a low perception of yourself and you displace it on those men when they show interest or you are afraid of being emotionally vulnerable or close with a man or you do not truly like your crushes but the idea of who you think them in your head that is why you get bored when and angry when they like you back.
Delete@sabella. Gbam! I love you. I think it’s psychological or low self esteem problem. 15:14 work on you abeg. There’s a problem somewhere
DeleteIt's low self esteem but she hasn't even realized it. Marry the guy your feelings will chi after baby number 1.
DeleteWait until you turn 35 or 40 then check if you still have same problem towards men
ReplyDeleteyou sound so dumb and empty. typical average olodo Nigerian guys to always use age to downgrade women.
DeleteStop age shaming women. Not all women at those ages are desperate. Have some respect for women.
DeleteLmao!!!🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSigns of Spiritual husband...
ReplyDeleteThat guy should be very careful o.
It exits! However you BUILD it!
DeleteRomantic novel and real life novel no be same o I couldn’t feel love cos I kept comparing to Carole mortimers mills and boon and real life e no work sigh 😔
ReplyDeleteCarole Mortimer can write sha. The earlier people differentiate between romance novels and films with real life, the better.
DeleteNne eeeh, anon 15:25 this just reminded me of the shock I had when I moved to the UK.
DeleteI used to read mills and boom and would look at the pictures in front and imagine the guys and women like that. Wealthy, well dressed men, with boyish good looks and mesmerising presence.
I moved to the UK and i had the shock of my life. I was seeing normal, poorly dressed guys with bad teeth, getting drunk most nights. A lot of them out of shape or obese. Not like what I saw in romance movies and novels at all. I crash landed back to earth from my mill and boom heaven.
I tried to read mills & boom after I moved here and I just couldn’t. I kept seeing the real faces of the people I saw on the streets in real life, not the beautiful ones on the back of the novels. That was the last time I read romance novels o. I can’t even imagine reading them now.
I’m glad though, cos before then I was expecting a night in shinning armour. I had so much expectations. Haha.
I’m very much back to reality now.
😂😂16.04 as in ehhn
Delete😂😂🤣😂.
DeleteYou people will not kill me on this blog. Must have been quite the shock to you.
I don laugh today 🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂@anon16:04
Deleteahh she wants the type of love in romantic novels.My sister i don't think it exists.
ReplyDeleteIt exists my dear
DeleteYou have not met the right guy dear. Before I used to say this till I felt in love
ReplyDeleteU don't love him, wait for someone u will love. Don't go n suffer another woman pikin in marriage.
ReplyDeleteLife is funny indeed. There was a guy I almost died for who no even reason my matter sef. Now I say love the ones who love you. Blessed are you who loves and is loved in return.
DeleteBetter don't marry anyone till you sort yourself out please
ReplyDeleteNo love there! When the right one finds you, you’d know
ReplyDeleteYou haven't met your man yet
ReplyDeleteHave you taken time to pray about it? What if a jealous spirit husband is playing tricks on you? Poster pray about it,take a little while and deal with your spiritual life.How are you supposed to marry if you have a problem loving and sustaining a relationship?
ReplyDeleteYes poster pray about it. And if he has good qualities and is ready on every level to settle down, I don't really see why not...............
DeleteMy thought as well
DeleteYou don't love him. Marry him out of desperation.
ReplyDeleteThis is very serious and not a joke,I used to have the same problem,it is not normal and has nothing to do with the right one,you need serious prayers and GOD intervention,if you can locate Mfm,that will be good for you
ReplyDeleteThere is NOTHING wrong with you! You just haven't met the right one.
ReplyDeleteI was the exact same way! When I was in secondary school, I had a crush or 2...but it was nothing more than "puppy love".
I didn't even bother in university, because the guys there were mostly pill-poppers and alcoholics, who used their freedom to misbehave.
After uni., I would date here and there because the people around me claimed I was being too difficult. There was rarely a spark, so I would always end things quickly. I never advanced into getting into a full-blown committed relationship, because I would be doing the guys a disservice. I was never into them as much as they were into me, and I didn't want to waste someone's son's time.
I even remember a friend asking me if I was, perhaps, a lesbian! LOL
It wasn't until "Mr. B" walked into my life that I knew what this thing called, LOVE, truly was.
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and sibling...but this was a different kind of love! Something that I still lack the words to explain.
Before that, I was always the one asking questions about love.
ie. When to know if you love someone. When to know you are in love. How to know the difference between loving someone and being in love with them etc.
When it happened, it happened...and no one had to tell me.
My only advice to you would be to let him go! He isn't the one for you. No amount of "love will grow after marriage" advice works for people like us! All the best!
You will meet your person!
ReplyDeleteThis happened to me before I met my husband. Was hardly impressed by any man.
Then I met him and was spending hours on the phone until my ears were hot, risking ear infection, and flying from one place to the other without my parents knowing.
After 8 months, I told him to propose or I was off Haha.
13 years and we’re still here. Lol
I wish i have this ability, no man born of a woman will ever truly hurt me.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster please can you suspend the wedding for now. With all you have stated you aint ready to settle down. You may be among the few people who like to be in their own space and cant seem to share anything with any man. You don't believe in settling down.You are okay to me. Dont allow society to define who you are.
ReplyDeleteSit down, look within and find your "true" you. Live your truth and be sincere with yourself..
You are not in love with these guys, when you find the right one your body will corporate.
ReplyDeleteHope your village people are not smoking garri with tour destiny.
Egungun be kiaful. Na express you dey go so!!!😆😆😆
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat. Great guy, not bad looking, wonderful family but I find myself nit picking. I have prayed, my family have advised yet nothing changed. So, I told him how I really felt, he was so heartbroken but he said he will give me space. Now, I miss him. I feel I have made a terrible mistake, cause even when I reached out he was not as receptive. He said he had prepared himself for the worst and now he feels a little resentful, that he spent so much of his time and emotions, and I couldn't do same. I don't know if this is God telling me something. I really did take him for granted! Now my pride won't let me beg. What will be will be! Maybe you should allow yourself miss him.
ReplyDeleteThat's not true. We use these lines to cheat ourselves.
DeleteIf you still have feelings for him. Tell him it's because you didn't waht him hurt at the end. Do something. Tell him you are sure now. Use words to talk to. Him. You only wanted to be sure of yourself.
Mimi anon. Don’t go and beg him. You think it’s easy to find men that are not broken or have on baggage or another. I’m afraid if you lose this one which I feel you have, it’ll will take some time to settle down oo. Also work on your mental health. You might even need to work on you very well and your emotional stability. Don’t go and frustrate someone’s son. Dude is better off with another lady self.
DeletePoster, you don't love him and please don't waste his time, tell him the truth about how you feel, let him meet the one that truly loves him before it's too late.
ReplyDeleteWatch and pray hard for Holy Spirit to guide you
ReplyDeletePoster, I understand you. The difference between you and me is that I wouldn't even date the man in the first place not to talk of preparing marriage to him.
ReplyDeleteI'll advise you walk away and wait for that one that makes you feel the right way.
Imagine spending the REST of your life with this man. Do you honestly think you'll be fine?
Dear poster, please stop listening to these people saying you have spiritual issues, spiritual husband and deliverance BS. Dear i married ar 46! I had the same issues of getting eaaily irritated by men. My amebo aunties went everywhere saying that" they said its spiritual husband, bla bla", dey even set me up on dates, no show! All my siblings were married and finished giving birth.....then one day, at a certain Mobil filling station, looked up from my car and saw a man staring at me...we bursted out laughing and thw rest we say ita history. Poster, after buying fuel, i went into the mart to pick up some stuffs and he came in and said hello, BVs i couldn't breathe.......today i have twins plus one. Great guy, very funny, best friend....just take your time, you will soon find him.
ReplyDeleteN.B my over spiritual aunt's daughter separated after one month of marriage, she confided in me that he is razz 🤣🤣
Exactly thank God for your life
DeleteI see no spirit husband here
Yes cos if i had listened to my aunts and naysayers, i would have desperately settled for any suitor. All dat spiritual husband stuff is so cappy
DeleteDear poster, please stop listening to these people saying you have spiritual issues, spiritual husband and deliverance BS. Dear i married at 46! I had the same issues of getting eaaily irritated by men. My amebo aunties went everywhere saying that" they said its spiritual husband, bla bla", dey even set me up on dates, no show! All my siblings were married and finished giving birth.....then one day, at a certain Mobil filling station, looked up from my car and saw a man staring at me...we bursted out laughing and the rest they say it's history. Poster, after buying fuel, i went into the mart to pick up some stuffs, he came in and said hello, BVs i couldn't breathe.......today i have twins plus one. Great guy, very funny, best friend....just take your time, you will soon find him.
ReplyDeleteN.B my over spiritual aunt's daughter separated after one month of marriage, she confided in me that he is razz 🤣🤣
Great post anon 19.50, that was how my father's ppl brought one local bleached mumu with ayefele's pattern to woo me....eye wey i take look dem, just grabbed my keys and drove off
DeleteA lot of women are suffering today cos dey desperately married the next available suitor
DeleteWhich one is ayefele pattern again 😂😂
DeleteTrue
Delete