STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A MISTAKE
A cry for help!!! I feel so pained! It feels like I am married to my punishment.
This man is driving me nuts, he’s the worst mistake any woman can ever make in marriage. I used to think every man wants peace in their home until my experience.
A cry for help!!! I feel so pained! It feels like I am married to my punishment.
This man is driving me nuts, he’s the worst mistake any woman can ever make in marriage. I used to think every man wants peace in their home until my experience.
A man that can nag more than a woman and so petty with his troubles, transfers aggressions so easily on me, the wahala is plenty and now I understand why some women kill their spouses, this one is driving me crazy. The terrible thing is, I don’t have a job, wish I could just run away with my son so that he never gets to find us. If I had the resources, I would have left this country quietly.
The emotional abuse is getting out of hand. He doesn’t let me sleep at night because he’s a night crawler, comes back most times by A.M with so much noise and aggressions and he’s got so much energy, sometimes it feels like he’s super human with the level of energy he displays. He can go 3days straight without sleep and still have the strength to pick up quarrels. I guess the substances he abuses is the explanation for his energy.
The most painful part is how he insults my family, his family aren’t left out too. His only sister once said to me, that she wishes she has the resources to take me abroad to avoid his trouble, I have been an object of pity to his family, this breaks my heart so much and to think he is the first born of 7children, with decent siblings, I wonder how they went wrong with him.
I am so exhausted, I need help with a job to help take me out of this place. I relocated from our base to his state just to avoid his troubles yet this man wouldn’t let me be, each time he comes around, it is one trouble to another until he leaves before I get to have rest.
The few days he stays is like a lifetime of hell. I am tired!!!
Do you need a Job or do you need a divorce? You sound like you have stretched your patience and may break anytime....
I dont have any Job to offer you and i think most people are not employing for now cos of the COVID 19 set back for many firms.
Please leave that marriage if it is as horrible as you say it is...
Good luck
The worst thing that can happen to a woman is a nagging husband.
ReplyDeleteI feel her pain, sometimes I admire single ladies cuz they don’t know what God has done to them. Some Marriage is hell
DeleteSINGLE LADIES, don't dream of marriage if you are not stable financially!!! It's not enough that you have a job or a business. Ensure that whatever means of income you have is dependable and can sustain a family. Aren't we sick of stories like this? It's better to marry in late, mature, financially stable and independent than rush to marry early and be at the mercy of the poor guy.
DeletePoster sorry.
Single ladies please have a stable source of income before marriage. You don't want to be stuck like some of us.
DeleteSTELLA, COMPANIES ARE HIRING!!! Pls everyone, don’t let COVID hold you back. Chase your dreams like there was no COVID. I know people who have gotten mouth-watering jobs paying in millions in this COVID. Companies are still paying for their staff training, giving benefits, etc. The energy industry is gaining momentum. People are also relocating abroad. So who are they leaving their jobs for?
DeleteStella, no no no. This mindset set me back some years ago until I received sense.
Kisses poster. You need a big hug and some boss lady pants!
Dear poster i can relate to your story i am dating someone like your husband omo the guy makes it look i am going crazy, his own gas-lighting is on another level. He is begging me that he wants to settle down with me but God know i can never marry him because marriage is meant to be enjoyed not a punishment.
DeleteLeave for your mental health.
ReplyDeleteBut, how do you people self marry someone that does drugs? I can't o. Cause my brain will keep telling me that thean can run mad one day
The man*
DeleteUnfortunately poster is married to a guy that is mentally ill. He is a full psychopath. He might be bipolar or just a psychopathic narcissist so you need to give him some distance for your own good cos it's gonna worse. Start planning your exit. Look for a job anywhere in Nigeria it must be where you reside. You can search on "indeed" for a job, they have responsive employers the.
DeleteDid they match-make you guys?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAsk her @ black berry
DeleteLeave the dang marriage to have your peace of mind and keep your sanity
ReplyDeleteThis is the kind of mistake I found myself too. My husband doesn't know the meaning of peace, he can pick up a fight for a month because of ordinary cup on the table. We will keep malice, but be eating my food, having sex, but won't talk or greet each other in the house
ReplyDeleteHe abuses my family too much too, he doesn't know the value of a woman, the only difference between my husband and yours is, he's not a night crawler, he comes back very early, doesn't keep friends, doesn't drink or smoke, but he's a big time flirt and I've caught him cheating on WhatsApp too.
Covid 19 affected my job as well, but I'm leaving this shit very very soon. He once did intro with a lady and the lady left with pregnancy, gave birth in her father's house but lost the baby. She's now married with another baby too. I still say it, no lady can live with this man, I can bet it with my life, after me, he will still remarry and that one will leave too. He's the worst mistake any woman can make
The chronicle and this your comment left me in a state of speechlessness.
DeleteMy husband is case but a little better. He abuses my family, but l have learnt to abuse his mother, father, sisters and brothers. Infact,l will unearth the most despicable things they did, and use it against him. He calls my Mom a witch,and l replied with "na witchcraft make your Mama die early". He can't beat me! I used to cry for him cause he has bad mouth ehhh!🙄🙄🙄 But l am now in charge of bad mouth. Just be on guard,and throw some missles back to him, and watch him crawl back to his shell. Use his family mistakes and attack him.
DeletePlease, don't exchange words in front of your kids. Make sure you have your space for quarreling.
Men think they have the monopoly of intimidating women, not knowing is a free market.
I almost ran mad because of his bad mouth. Now, he will run, and be foaming in the mouth.
Anony 15:08 and 16:37, clap for yourselves. Is this the type of life both of you envisaged before marriage, what stops both of you to work on your marriages because it’s like both of you are angels from what you put up there? As for you poster, life is what you make it, if running abroad is Heaven, go for it, if reflecting deeply, praying and fasting your way out of this dilemma, go for it, but first empower yourself. But what beats my imagination is you all still have sex with these men, I’m sorry I can’t deal
DeleteBut Why do you have to go through all of this just to stay married? Is it really worth it? And do you think your children don’t hear? You better leave that hell on earth or you want to wait until you are 50 and very bitter, life is short and you only live once
DeleteAnonymous 15.08, i understand the eating your food part even though you guys are quarreling, but how do you guys have sex and still keep malice. Don't you guys kiss during the sex ni. Does he not touch you, abi you will just lay there like log of wood while he do the do. Because i don't understand how people who are quarreling will still be havjng sex. That one is not sex again oo. Its knacking
DeleteOmg. The comments here. I’m rolling... Take it easy ooo.
DeleteI remember one day that my husband thought he had a monopoly over abusing my family. Gosh! I gave him left, right and center. That day, I did him nothing, only that I asked him to close the window. He was already upset from some bad news he received and didn’t tell me. Then he started transferring aggression to me in this manner.
I gave him and his family hot and spicy and he was initially giving me too but got shocked at my response and started playing victim. Chai God.
I was soooooo sad afterwards. It was a day to Christmas 2020. I reminded him of how his mum died of stupidity ((because she was still sleeping with his dad who was a popular big time womanizer and caught HIV. The man knew he had it and didn’t tell and infected her. The woman was a SENIOR NURSE!!!. She was such a devoted wife. The man still refused to see her all the while she was at the hospital. No apology. No remorse. Nothing. She died like a vegetable. Less than 2 weeks after, he asked his children to take her clothes and other personnel effects out of his room. Two months after, this man remarried!!!)). My husband was HURT! I was SAD!!!
I had to beg God to forgive me. Well. We made up after about a week. He later said it’s true what I said but i know I SHOULD NEVER have used it against him in that light.
Pls take it easy men and women . Abeg. Easy.
What Satan has turned marriage into is unspeakable
DeleteHonestly, some things I read on social media I cannot understand in this my 22 years of marriage. Ayam learning oooo 🥴.
DeleteYou mean a man keeps malice with you, eats the food you cook and has the effrontery to have sex with you while not speaking with you and he continues the malice 🤷🏾♀️.
Dem never born that man, what nonsense is this I'm reading.
I wish I didn't read this crap.
Women we need to do better please, don't make any man make you feel less of who you are. Your husband is your crown, respect him but don't let him take you for a ride.
We are precious, we are helpmates, we are meant to be pampered, loved and do same to our husbands.
This comment has really vexed me tonight.
Women, love your daughter's, son's and teach them how to love and respect. These children are watching us and it's what they learn from us that they will give out when they get married.
I pray you find peace Anonymous 15:08
wow! some comments here are eye openers for single ladies o. so you mean there are men that no women can marry?? I just assume that if a man acts somehow to a woman then maybe she is not his spec or dream girl and he may act better for another woman he really loves. but I factored out the fact that some men really do have psychological issue displayed regardless of whomever they marry. God save us from devil incarnate as husband o
DeleteThis exchange of words is the worst for me.Once a man has an acidic tongue,I just run away.I no fit abeg.
DeleteLemme wait for my good sis Saphire to give you her gems cos I'm thinking..if his siblings are decent and you didn't notice this behavior when y'all were dating then whatever is wrong started from the marriage.
ReplyDeletePlease I don't have any advice for young, no job, no trade, dependent, mistreated, married girls biko. I direct my energy to the yet to be married.
DeleteLeave that marriage immediately....I see that man liking you
ReplyDeleteLiking you bawo? And she should leave when he would liking her ? I don’t understand
Delete😳😳😳😳🌝❌❌
DeleteI think she meant"killing"
DeleteYou said "you're an object of pity to his family" what do you mean by that?..if your in-laws no pity you now you go dey paint them bad, anyways that aside.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure before you got married to your husband, you saw the signs abi? Anyways, I'm not here to judge. Only God can save you and I pray you get the job you deserve. Caio
You are not here to judge but you just victim blamed her with your full chest without reading the story well. 🙄
Deleteshey owa okay?
The in laws pity her cos they know his character and probably hoped and prayed that marriage will calm him down but it didn't. I have 2 siblings like this, one is spoilt because she is exceptionally intelligent and the other one had a mental illness so his character isn't really okay, he is preparing for marriage right now and I am praying and hoping desperately that it will work, I also hope my sister matures enough to manage her home when the time comes.
DeletePeople make mistakes, try not to blame them but help them come to terms with it and seek a way forward.
Anon 15:49, ode buruku😄
DeleteAnon,16:17, thank you ojere
Stella come and see anon 16:17 ooo. YOU KNOW YOUR BROTHER HAS A MENTAL ILLNESS AND A HORRIBLE ATTITUDE BUT YOU WANT ANOTHER PERSONS DAUGHTER TO CHANGE HIM??????? SHEYBI WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS THING HERE BEFORE???
DeleteMAY ANGELS SOAK KOBOKO IN KEROSENE AND FLOG ALL YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS, INCLUDING YOU TONIGHT.
WICKED FAMILY. I KNOW YOU QUIETLY HID THAT FACT FROM HER. THE GIRL WILL BE THERE THINKING SHES MARRYING A GOOD MAN WHO OCCASIONALLY GETS UPSET LIKE OTHERS. NOT KNOWING SHES DESTROYING HER LIFE AND POSSIBLY GOING TO BIRTH CHILDREN WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.
EVIL PEOPLE!!!
Anon 20:21, are you okay? Its obvious you has a bad experience and lashing out from the experience. He is stable and religiously on his meds and the girl and her family are aware of the situation. Are you trying to say someone that ever had such problem should never get married? Take it easy, abeg!!!
DeleteOhh how I detest nagging men
ReplyDeleteWhy are some of women like this. Are you honestly trying to tell us you didnt know he does all this things before you married him? I'm just curoius o. Cos some single ladies are mocked but they are happily and peacefully mocked rather than die of Hbp and stigma of been a divorcee.
ReplyDeleteAlso I dont mean to sound sentimental but I av noticed first Male born are usiallyridden with a lot of baggage. It's either generationalncurse..or having to bear all the burden of the family etc. Like I said kistmy thought.
So madam..may the lord fix you and ur home
There is a generational curse following first born sons. From the Bible time.
Deleteanyone that breaks out of it is personal deliverance by himself or his mother stood in the gap for him.
Bianca, why did you think Christ came?
DeleteEverything has become new in Christ
I think you need to leave to a safe place before trying to get a job. Don't you have any friends? No relations?
ReplyDeleteLadies, pls we can do better than this. Why do most of us severe ties with our friends and loved ones when we get married? Men always keep theirs because you never can know when you will need anyone. Yorubas say Ojo ma a pa eniyan wo inu Ike kan le e meji
Let's keep looking out for ourselves,build relationships and maintain them.
No matter what,there will be that one person who cares deeply for you and will take you and your child in
If you get a job now,how do you intend to perform optimally with a spouse like that?
Women should learn to be selfish at times and stop holding on to the shorter end of the stick all the time
Young men of today dishing out the same rubbish some of us the mothers tolerated with the level of education and exposure in the world today. Radarada!
I cant even imagine what you are going through. LEAVE ALREADY
ReplyDeleteYou don't have a job and you married a man who doesn't have a meaningful job? Why are you folks doing this to yourselves? How can there be peace - when resentment, frustration and anger have taken over your household?
ReplyDeleteThis is 2021, stop making silly mistakes with a huge institution like MARRIAGE.
God bless you Rockstar 😍
DeleteWahala for who no get source of income and still enter marriage.
ReplyDeleteUna dey try.
Come born on top. If you talk they will term you hater.
DeleteTell them biko!
DeleteNa wah ooooo, if I decide to advise now I will be termed a hater 😳😳😳😳🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️🚶🏽♀️
DeleteFrom what you said. You are still interested in your marriage, but needs something to put your mind at ease. Look for job, and don't get pregnant again. Have this notion of being single, not caring for him, but your son alone.it will help you in forgetting his attitude.
ReplyDeleteTry to get a job, even if it is teaching with any amount. Refocus all your energy on your kid!
If this poster is Ogo, pity for yourself before that mad man kills you.
ReplyDeletePoster, I pity you. I am sorry for the one chance marriage you have entered.
Your inlaw pities you because you deserve better but you let sentiment and lack of sense becloud your thinking..
Remember that very soon, your inlaws will keep their distance from you so that they won't be blamed for breaking a broken glass.
You're talking about leaving, what steps have you made?
Hope you are on family planning though Bcos 3,...4...kids hmmm 🤔🤔
One sided story. You didn't say what you do that makes him nag.
ReplyDeleteMake una two go find work. See finish don enter
Shut up Jechix. Marry first and experience it for yourself.
DeleteIf a man had a bad day and has a bad character, the wife will suffer it. That’s enough. Stop judging people and condemning them. Change!
It’s her story, let her share it in peace. Are you a marriage counselor? If she told you, (if any exists at all) all you will say is this or that person was wrong.
Keep it moving judgina
All you over sabinus on this blog, always judging, "you saw the signs bla bla bla", WTF is wrong with you guys, Do you think a man would show you his bad side if he indeed wants to marry you, the way most of you women mask your bad sides, is the same way the men pretends to be angels.
ReplyDeleteYou might marry a good man and few years down the line he might turn into a monster and you would be surprised and start asking where it went wrong. Instead of blaming her for signs, give her a good advise,Most of you judginas go through hell in ordinary relationship, but you will open mouth waaa to condemn your fellow woman going through issues in marriage, Marriage has it ups and downs, as you are enjoying it , remember to save strength for the turbulent times. Because they will come, no one can't have it all.
Advise these women properly, All ye that can read signs, I hope you all would be able to read the signs, when your turn comes. I hope you wouldn't have yourselves to blame, when another person blames you for not reading signs.
Ndi signs readers. Mtcheweeww
So what’s your advise to the plaster?
DeleteDon’t mind them. Even the men that God openly told you in your ears to marry. One day in the marriage, he will have a bad day and act out. If he already has a bad character, wahala.
DeleteLet them be talking. Some people actually do not see any real signs because people HIDE their bad qualities!!!
Have sense .
The only thing you can ask her is why she doesn’t have a job or business in Nigeria of today. This country where people have job and 2 side hustles. Poster has none. Poster, it’s time o
Stella she needs a job and a divorce.
ReplyDeleteLooooool ....people are still employing just not at the rate they used to I spend my free time studying and applying for jobs abeg. I just got an interview date. Let no one deceive you there are jobs. People are running away to Canada or just out of the country so who will fill these many roles...
ReplyDeleteGOD BLESS YOU. That’s what I said up there. People are getting jobs daily. At least In Lagos
DeleteThis man will kill you.
ReplyDeleteThat's my brother for you.such a mistake!
ReplyDeletesounds like he has some trauma that has caused him to develop bipolar disorder. half these men u guys complain about in these chronicles have no business being in any sort of relationship. But naija, we feel everyone must marry by force regardless of sexual orientation or how messed up the person may be and how much of a danger he can pose to a spouse. N yes I say sexual orientation cus there are so many bisexual men that have been pressured to marry n pretend to be straight. That aggression is now passed on to the poor wife. I don't think any man that genuinely loves women will act in the ways that some of these men in these chronicles act. These men lowkey hate yall n would not think twice before destroying you
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, you need help
ReplyDelete