Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmm.....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

TOO MANY BAD CHOICES

Dear Stella and BVs..

I have made so many mistakes in my over two decades on earth. Too many bad choices and all. How do I start to write on how I got to this point of being a jobless single mother of two without any form of direction for my life.

 I had my first child at the age of 19. The father told me to abort it and that I will be on my own if I kept it but in my mind, I thought I was doing the noble thing. I was a lone ranger. No one told me of what was going to be ahead.

When he washed his hands off the pregnancy, he meant it. I met him while he was serving. Since then and up until now, eight years after that, he has never seen her before. If I am to put in total, the money he has sent for me hasn't been up to 20k.


I tried getting admission into school some years after that. My parents had never forgiven me for the shame I brought them. On my dad's end, it was a morning and evening topic. It got to a point I was so emotionally traumatized and was just looking for an escape route.

 Church, street, relatives, I was the example being given as an example of failure.
I was the one responsible for my child's fees, dressing, etc. My parents helped with feeding.
I had to tell different forms of lies, lived on handouts to get money to take care of her as I was now in school.

At some point, things became difficult at home, health and financial challenges. I lost focus and concentration in school. Carry-overs came in truckload. My parents were now waking me up with talks that I should marry and carry my shame and leave the house. I started looking for a way of escape for my sanity. Any body who could assist me with my child's expenses and who could be my escape route from my parents was all I needed but alas, I didn't know that I was about to jump from frying pan to fire.


Long story made short, the supposed Messiah showed up with false story of marriage to my parents. I stupidly believed. Pregnancy happened. I wanted to abort it but he wouldn't have it. There was no one to get money from and we started quarrelling over this abortion money issue. 

He told my mom about the pregnancy to my anger and my mom swore that if I did it, I'll die and all of those threats.

Lo and behold, this man started dating someone else. 

Right now, I think he had even been dating her before me. The girl then knew about me and the whole drama started. At this time, concentration from school had gone what with all the drama the girl gave me. I went to hell and back. More carryovers. 

When I put to birth, he didn't even show up until his girlfriend told him to


That was how I became the girl that had children. No certificate with all my plenty grammar, no skill(where you see that kind money), saggy b**be, out of shape, no job and plenty baggage.

Several times I have had to motivate myself that one day things will change and I even sometimes foolishly think I will even marry sef🤣🤣🤣🤣. Single people never marry finish.

I have done every little work I can to try to make ends meet but it's not working especially with the fact that I am now training two children alone. The second father only shows up with 10k the day his now wife tells him to and that's like once in a long time.

I know I brought all these on myself by not abstaining from s#x in the first instance.
Or am I such a terrible person? I know I do get angry when provoked but certainly there are men getting married to women like that too.


Please bvees,I really do need practical advice on how to turn things round for me now that it isn't too late. How do I also get my own grass to grace story?

Please let's not talk about learning a skill cause I do not have the money to pay to learn, practice while learning, transport and still also fend for my kids. No capital for any trade and the #15k teaching job that would have been available,this is first term and employers mostly employ after third term.
I'm in my final year now and wish I could just flog ASSU and corona for all they did to us.

No housekeeping job available at least I can cook small and keep a place tidy as that one No housekeeping job available, at least I can cook small and keep a place tidy as that one doesn't need any certificate in this Nigeria. I don pray for miracle tire. Zeal for self motivation is gone. Na Stella's blog dey gimme joy now.

I don't even care again if the people I know that frequent here will decide that I sent this but I need advice.

No offense please but do not tell me to watch war room. I have already.
I truly am sorry for this my so long a letter.🙏

*Watch War room again.