Saturday, February 06, 2021
83 comments:
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Ha! Dem plenty o.
ReplyDeleteWhere do I begin? Even as a lawyer sef. Lord help me.🙌
I don't want to live in Australia
DeleteAll lawyers are liers. So you are kinda covered.
DeleteI wasnt a virgin, lied about body count whilst being a virgin.
DeleteIts easier than explaining why I am still a virgin.
I am sick, to avoid my boss who asked me out on a date.
ReplyDeleteWorse part, I fell sick few days later.
God help me man cus I dey lie sha
DeleteEven when ko necessary
🤣
Wo just leave me and my lie cus when I tell you the truth you best believe me
Haba Stella this one no be question
DeleteI have lied before that i was in Kano whilst in some other place.
ReplyDeleteNormal lie na
DeleteI once lied to my then boyfriend that my chest is paining me after a fight just for him to pet and beg me.
DeleteLol that was a LOVE lie @ excited courtesy
DeleteThis will be quite lengthy. It wasn't a lie I told but a lie I acted out due to my pure heart.😁
ReplyDeleteI Will be right back.
While I was in college in my third year. A 2nd-year student came to meet me to assist her with her project. It was a normal habit for most people to ask me for help, my coursemates, as well. They had this believe sabella knew everything.🙆♀️ I do not blame them because every year I would bag an award for best student in the department by the Nigeria student association of the school. My name was everywhere on the school board and after some time people started to think I was Albert Einstein. Sadly, I had a weakness Just like most students and there was this specific course which revealed my imperfection. At some point, I felt I was going to have to carry it over but God been so great I scaled through thanks to group work.😄 I had to lie to the other students I was swamped with too many projects at a time so they had to sort out that course on its own while I do the rest on my own. They were more than happy to handle just one course while I take on the projects of three other courses not knowing that one course was like a million courses in my eye. So when I braced through that course and had an A- thanks to them. The first thing I did was unwind at a café prior to heading home. It was a close shave. Golly!
DeleteSo you can imagine the horror when this student needed my help with that same course I loathed.😭 unfortunate thing was that during their own time the lecturer made it known group work was prohibited. So she brought it to me.
I was scared but I couldn't show it. She had a very high expectation of me so how do I tell her I do not know to help her. Asides that I felt sympathy for her considering I have been in her shoes before. So I promised her I was going to help her with it. Told her to come over to the house during the weekend and her project would be ready by then.
I didn't bother with it instead I called up a masters student who usually give us after school tutorials and he agreed to do it.
He did it on time for me to ask her to come to pick it up but she didn't meet me at home. The next day she ran to me with her boyfriend and thanked me profusely for helping her out and asked if I slept a wink due to the short notice. I lied to her I missed a few naps while sorting it out, was stressed out but considering I had done it before, it was easy after all. She was fawning over me but I noticed her boyfriend had his phone camera directed to my face yet I was too fixated on the praises she showered on me to realise he had recorded everything. The next day the master's student crossed path with me and told me he wanted to show me something on his phone. There she was, Sabella, in all her glory bragging confidently flipping her hair and laughing loudly all pleased with herself 🙆♀️ well, it turned out his younger brother was the guy who recorded my theatrics and he was the lady's boyfriend. I later called the lady and explained everything to her but reminded her not to hesitate to ask for help if it has to do with different course asides "that" one and we laughed over it.😅
Another instance was when I went for a deliverance session but I did not fall and the pastor was surprised because everyone fell except me. So he kept pushing my head in reverse with so much force that you could see his veins popping out and I almost heard my spinal cord squeak for mercy. I thought to myself, for my own good it's best I humbly fall on the floor to let peace to reign because you could tell he was bent on breaking my bones. I slept on the floor for thirty minutes just relaxing but he thought i was in a trance state and when I finally got up he rushed towards me and asked what I saw when I fell down. I lied to him and said I saw many angels flying around him and others standing at the entrance. He smiled to himself while I just shook my head and went my way home.
DeleteLol I get you wanted to live up to expectation and not spoil your reputation but did y’all really do the entire project for the girl? I thought “helping” is to serve some kind of guidance and give directions on how to go about the work and not outrightly do the whole thing?
DeleteHahaha 😃😃😄😁😂,you saw angels true true.
DeleteSome pastors and their theatrics.
😂sabella that diliverance session, had similar experience. Choiiiii
DeleteGood to see your comment 😘
😂😂😂😂😂😂I enjoy your gist. Well done sabella.
DeleteWell it's good you didn't feel humiliated in the school ordeal 🙆🙏
DeleteYou lied; the pastor lied- League of Liars😁
Aww Snarker, thanks for your understanding.😁 but I doubt if putting her through would have helped her. That course was extremely hard for the level she was in at the time. It was meant to be a third-year course but for some reason, most had it during their second year. That was the only course that gave me my only A- and surprisingly I was elated about it even though on a normal day having that kind of grade would have had me crying inconsolably. I guess he did everything for her because he already knew who she was to his little brother.
DeleteTwins squared, Best believe it! I saw them, Army of Holy Angels with their chariots on a divine rescue mission to save me from his clutches. 😂😂
Oh! Bini. Sorry about your ordeal😂 to think we can reminisce and just giggle about it now. I simply laid on the floor and was just wondering how I got myself into that mess. Thank God for too much sense😎else he would have broken my spinal cord.
Aww, Good to see yours too.😘🤗
Mama Amanda, I am glad you enjoyed it. 🤗
Dbil, No, I am naturally not a liar except a situation needs such drastic intervention. I figured that was what he wanted to hear so I had to lie for my safety. Imagine if I had told him I saw nothing at all and he decided to lay another hand on me for the second time. 😲
I don't normally tell lies, but I dey search my husbands trousers for money when he comes back from work. Abeg, that money dey solve plenty problems for me .😂😂
ReplyDeleteI can't remember...
ReplyDeleteAh! E plenty ooo. Where do I start from sef.
ReplyDeleteIt's the fake deliverance I acted out just because the youth pastor was convinced I belong to the marine world because of my eyes for me.
ReplyDelete😂mine I slept off on the floor!
Delete😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣
Delete“I have covid”... to avoid this tenacious man that couldn’t just take hint. I eventually caught it tho. Power in the tongue y’all 😩
ReplyDeleteThat's why I am so careful about my confessions.
Delete*a hint
Delete@TS
DeleteYou knowww! The tongue is indeed a powerful weapon lol.
The tongue is quite powerful.
DeleteAww. Hope you are such better now?
DeleteHow many I won count sef...omo, I dey lie, if na to lie,me sef I know am gifted for that area.lie get grade.if I lie give you eh,u must believam.i too good chai..I lie to my guy now my husband,I told him machine swallowed my Atm,and I need to make a transfer to someone, he just ask for d acct of the person am transferring it to,I gave him my friend acct,me and the babe too we dey the same lieing department,.the next day ,I told him I want to go and apply for another Atm,na baba still go drop me for the bank,waited for me outside, I was inside the bank doing nothing,filling one yeye form I found in the bank.when it was abt 30 mins,I came out with the Atm.baba say am sure they must have stressed you,I said Offcourse.
ReplyDeleteTrifling, you and your friend 😂
DeleteHope you don repent 😏
😂😂😂😂😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂you are a clown lieing department 🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLOL, Shooter Baibay 🤣..it's not even that bad a lie.
DeleteYou get PHD for that department 😂🤣😂🤣😂
DeleteAfter u na u o
DeletePerxie shooter?
DeleteHer majesty of lies that was hilarious.
Lol😂😂😂
DeleteE go plenty full a tank of water.
ReplyDeleteThis post will be very interesting👌👍👀🤔😀😄
ReplyDeleteWill be right back to read sweet comments🥂🍾
I can't remember mbok🤔🤔
ReplyDeleteI lost My voice i cant talk text only haha
ReplyDeleteReal niggaz don't lie😊.. the truth is bitter,but we say it anyway☻
ReplyDeleteAnyway, when a real nigga was a youngin, still in elementary school then, a friend of mine in my age group saw my mom outfit- blouse and wrapper.. the blouse has many shining stones and other beautiful shinny stuff attached to it. So he was like, do I know those shinny stuff on her blouse can make her miss heaven, that his mom has also stopped wearing such cos it's a sin, I panicked more when he told me that if I don't do anything about it and she miss heaven, her blood would be on my hands😕😕..
What do a real nigga do naw🤔..
I could sleep that night, kept thinking of how I can save mumsi from hell.. then it came!!☻ Very early in the morning, I went to knock on her room door, told her I had a terrifying dream, that rapture took place and we were all at heaven gate, and when it got to her turn, the Angel in charge told her that her only offense is that she wears blouse with too many shining stuff on it..Lol.. come and see my mumsi singing praises to God that morning, then later brought out those are pretty blouse and started pulling off then shinny stuff off it.. telling who cared to listen how I was shown a vision for her 😒😒
When a gee got older, he told her he never had such dream but had to make it up with good intentions 🙏🙏
Hahahahahahahaha
DeleteI told my husband that my body count is three while it's almost twenty
ReplyDeleteAnybody that asks about body count wants to be lied to. Period
Delete@perx
DeleteI heard body count stops at 5 and automatically resets to 0 every 5 years 🌚
Perxian I like you so much. I am a lady oooo but then I just really like you.
DeletePerxian's admirer
E for better make him no ask that kind thing😶
DeleteI love you too Anon Baibay, see me blushing beet red. 😊😘
DeleteSnarker, mine stops at 3. ☻
The one I can remember- last week booked off some days at work, manager asked if I had anything interesting planned , I said I had dentist appointment for a tooth extraction and needed the extra days to recoup however I was on my way to the next city to see my family. ( I could have told her the truth but our country is on lockdown and we are not allowed to visit other household)
ReplyDeleteI didn’t cum inside ...
ReplyDeleteI remember lying in jss1 that I was the girl in the problem child movie the American movie o🤣🤣🤣I was tired that the seniors then did not like me and they are always beating me. So I came up with something. Some of them got so upset that even when they heard it, they called me to beat me but still I stood my ground to the extent some wanted to start believing sef🤣🤣🤣how me black turn white, I don’t know. When they said I should do the voice, I spoke like the oyinbo child o🤣🤣🤣me wey come from the lowest area for Benin.later I came up with the lie that I am the daughter of zack orji 🤣🤣🤣 poverty eh hmmm. Thank God for his mercies.
ReplyDeleteA lie i can get behind. 🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLol! All these outrageous, silly lies we told as kids! I recall a classmate telling me her house was shaped like a gun and my dumb ass believed 🤦🏾♀️
DeleteAnother one claimed her mom was best friends with queen Elizabeth and of course, I ate it up.🤣🤣🤣
Told someone I traveled to avoid going out with him. I had to do that cos he was so persistent and doesn't want to take no for an answer...😔
ReplyDeleteI do this all the time. It's 'normal'..
DeleteWhen I was still single and at home. Will leave the house to go and flex with friends and unfortunately mumsy comes back before I do.
ReplyDeleteMum: Bia, ebee ka ijee?
Me: I went to visit my friend ( with all seriousness).
Urrrm..you didn't lie then.
DeleteHmmmmm too many that I can't even remember them
ReplyDeleteI once was catfished and tha woman that showed was almost 60yrs old she begged to have sex so I took her to my place that sex was short and sweet but had to lie to her that my brother owns the place and he will be pissed. She left and told me not to be a stranger and call her she is up for anything I just need to call her.
ReplyDeleteMen would smash anything tho.
DeleteHmm.
DeleteI remember the lie my friend told his mom. His mom wanted to use his laptop to play a disc she bought. He told her the laptop 😂😂😂 can't play vcd. His mom looked at his brother and laughed. She told that DID HE REMEMBER THAT SHE WAS A GRADUATE.😂🤣😂🤣😂😂🤣😂. My friend didn't want his mom to disturb him
ReplyDeleteIf I dnt cum I will fall sick 😷
ReplyDeleteSister Chioma wey Dey under Anointing just go use left leg draw wire biggest church TV 📺 plasma kuku fall break na since evening we don dey beg pastor ! Dem hold sister Chioma for hostage
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂 wahala
DeleteLol
Delete
ReplyDeleteI don't have money
Lied that ive never done a married man, whereas ive slept with two.. But im a new creature now and that secret will follow me to the grave.
ReplyDeleteLie ke ? Omo i collect championship for this game o. I lie to maneuver my way out of a situation. I lie whenever I start to feel intimidated, to keep up appearance. I am so confident now so I don't need to lie to prove nothing. But I still dey drop one or two lies. The recent lie I told was when I went to change some dollars from those Aboki. The bank only have 20 and 10dollars note that means the rate will be reduced. Guy man was charging 420 per notes and it wasn't going well with me. I asked him if he wants me to be thrown out of my apartment. I told him I am based in Kano and the money is both my transport fare and my rent. I even told him the landlord has been threatening to throw my things out. Miraculously my lie worked. Aboki wey get conscience.. last last he changed it 440 per note for me.
ReplyDeleteThat we had VHS video which was a fat lie. Those days. A group of friends came with me to our house to watch a particular film. Worst part was the film needed to be rewound. I had to use hand (fingers) to rewind the VHS cassette. It was so painful. Of course,I could not do anything using hands to rewind the cassette. After what seemed like eternity and sweating like Christmas goat, I went to where I told them to wait for me in the compound to tell them NEPA has taken light.
ReplyDeleteThat particular lie changed my life forever. I find it difficult to lie and it thought me also that one lie needs a thousand lies to surround and support it.
I am a very lazy person. I don't like to run, I don't even dream of running. In secondary School I lied I was Asthmatic. During inter-house sports my only job was to fly our house flag.😎 I have a cousin who is asthmatic, so I know it's not a good thing to lie with. Every now and then, to avoid doing something strenuous, I fake an attack and people will just let me be. But now I am beginning to feel like I have indirectly placed a curse on my self. Ordinary smell of food chokes me. If you see the way I now work like jackie eh..
ReplyDeleteThat if I didn't do, my erect prick will break.
ReplyDeleteI'm on my period
ReplyDeleteI'm on my period.
ReplyDeleteStella " say the truth and let the devil be ashamed" na SET UP.. my parents wey dey pay rents that year.. my lie pass my age abeg ..
ReplyDeleteThe worst lie to tell anyone ever, I love you. Please don't ever tell anyone you love them unless it is true.
ReplyDeleteThe devil is the father of all lies. Repent and trust God in the dark moments. The truth shall set you free.
ReplyDelete