The SA in a letter to the Governor dated December 30,2020 stated that 100% loyalty to the state government is tearing her family apart, and, therefore, resolved to resign to save her family.
She quoted the Bible which states that “Woman be submissive to your husband.”
Being submissive means resigning from a Job the Husband is against?Oh Dear!
If i have say anything,i see men like this as dream killers....May God protect us from meeting people who will kill our dreams while theirs go on.....
When a woman has to resign from her Job to save her Marriage,that Marriage is dead already!
Her husband, her family, her job, her choice.
ReplyDeleteAnd who drafted that nonsense for her? A special Adviser to a State Governor 😏, she could have atleast paid someone to write or copy a resignation letter off the internet 🥴😏🙄🤷🏾♀️.
DeleteDo you really think it's her choice? The woman was most likely given an ultimatum and divorce is a really big deal in the east.
DeleteAnnony 8:59, I join you to ask same question.This is an official letter but she just wrote like someone writing to the women leader of Umuada meeting!
DeleteHanti Stella ....I don't agree with you on this one ooo. With valid points which I'll state.
DeleteIts not every attractive office or position a wife who wants to keep her home should work in. Certain environments are toxic or not just morally sound.....and yes some political offices are like that. Except the woman doesn't mind playing game , she can't have peace in those places.
Worse still if the said woman is pretty. Polictians , especially Nigerian polictians are among the most randy men on gods green earth. If you are in their sphere of influence, they will chase you until they sleep with you or you resign. In fact to be an attractive woman in any such office , one of the ministers, perm secs etc must have you as a mistress , else them go frustrate your life to an untimely end.
Now real life story ....I have a very Close cousin who married a fine tall yellow woman assigned to the Aso rock state house. She was a top aide, ....interacting with Ministers , governors etc. The past presido even knew her on a first name basis.
But guess what. All those men were chasing and harassing her ....infact one federal Minister called my cousin and told him " I saw your wife in our meeting and one governor was toasting her" ...his advice to my cosin was..." Get your wife immediately out of this office! This is not a place where your wife should be...the pressure from these men will break your home".
Not long after that, baby be receiving calls late night from all manner etc.
To cut the long story short they are no longer together. Shes a deputy ambassador to one European country right now ..she choose her career over her marriage.
Note that they dated for several years b4 marriage ....he helped get her the job .....she was very loyal b4 the job. But the power and men she met at that office spoiled her attitude and marriage.
My opinion is that a wise wife should build her home. If working in a certain office will put her in temptation, then she should look for another place to work
On 2 the Next!
Hmmmm. I once resigned my job when I got a promotion to another state. Well I did cause I was not ready to raise my kids alone far from where I knew people. Plus my husband was not going to come cause of his job. It was the best decision I made that year. That's what you call sacrifice. My office eventually refused the resignation but cancelled the promotion. I still have my family intact to the glory of God 🙏 and it shall be forever. My motto in life is God 1st, Family 2nd, Business 3rd and Work 4th and less privileged 5th followed by others. My family comes before work so if the situation presents itself again I will not still take it till my last born is in secondary boarding school then I can start jumping round the world.
DeleteThanks, Aymii.
DeleteMost honestly do not understand how nerve-wracking it is being around a supposed self-respecting governor only to have steady harassment be your food day and night. Sadly, one who is old enough to be your papa. I won't be saying more but believe me, she made the best decision.
"when a woman has to resign from her job to save her marriage, that marriage is dead already". I totally disagree with you ma'am Stella. That may even be what is needed to save the marriage and keep it going.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things that make marriage work is compromise on both the husband and wife's side. We are not in the marriage with them. Maybe they've both sat down to discuss how her job is tearing her marriage apart and the conclusion they reach is that she should resign her job and the woman too has looked at it intrinsically and see it as the best option. She is choosing her family over her job because she considers it more important. Her life, her marriage, her choice. I wish them all the best.
How many men have quit their jobs to save their marriage? If tables were turned, would her husband quit his job?
DeleteThe only logical reason for her to quit this job is if the job exposed her to situations that might lead to her cheating on her husband or if the pressure to take part in illegal activities was getting to her.
Politics is a DIRTY game,we really dont know the circumstances,reason i cant judge her harshly. She may have been compromising herself or faith in one way she can no longer do.
DeleteIf dis was a corporate job and she has no issues at work den i will say husband is cruel,we really dont know.
You are wise @I said what I said!
DeleteAnnony 9:22..Stop arguing and thereby complicating your write up.
DeleteForget all these comparison and tussle we do on SDK here sometimes with men, the truth remains a woman is under a man and can never run shoulders with him unless that man is not "a man indeed"that said, I believe all the reason you stated in your second paragraph is key to her resignation!
Thanks @Bed and Roses.. Politics is a very dangerous game that is not for the meek hearted, for you to be in this game as a woman, you will have a lion heart if not,hmmm.
DeleteFor women with young families,it's a burden because your job demands you travel sometimes within a short notice, you stay late hours for meetings, you meet and sleep in different hotels etc,so I understand the woman and seriously concur to your opinion,we are not talking about the "orishirishi"you will see,condone and expected to join in,in order to be amongst the"inner caucus!
So let's free the husband Kate,it's not that easy on the women talk of the man that is marrying them!
This is sad....
ReplyDeleteIt may be victory for the woman.
DeletePerhaps it is a case of 'I can't lose my home, my family, my faith and my soul, because of government's work'.
The fact is because of this "submission " issue,most men are dream killer's
ReplyDeleteAs a married woman myself for almost 20 years,sometimes, you have to choose what you think will be less stressful than comfortable for you. It's about great communication and understanding Most men just want to be in control, and if controlling their wives make them manly, so be it
Stella don't conclude yet, you may not have the full details. I remember when my wife was working as an aid to one State House Speaker. She'll always have to deal with politicians calling and asking her out, even when they know she's married. Now I don't have problem with men asking her out, after all she's a woman and she's bound to experience things like that.
ReplyDeleteNow where it became a problem was that these calls comes in when I should ordinarily want some alone time with my wife. Nobody told her, na she take her hand resign.
Her choice.
ReplyDeleteWhat I am really appalled at is her written English - poor sentence construction and spelling errors especially coming from a Special Adviser to a State Governor. 😣
Another question is why this resignation letter is on the net?
Poorly written letter, yes.
DeleteAt the end of the day, English is just a language and it is not a measure of IQ.
So many science related graduates have no biz with English , but when it comes to calculation & statistics, check them out. We have a whole lot of them in government.
DeleteWe really dont know the circumstances so i wont blame her,if d job means shes closing at midnight with all does dat nightly political meetings,travelling etc and she doesnt have time for her home,kids especially pls it is worth it. With all dese molestation stories,nanny wahala;a mother needs to be present in her kids life biko. If the man is earning enuf.
ReplyDeleteI know someone her husband insisted she must resign from NPA,d marriage was falln apart. I thot the man was being cruel. But guess what he opened a butchery biz for her,shes doing so well in it. Supplies suasages,bacon,ham etc to stores and still has time for family. Will it make sense she continues with d job and her family becomes broken? Who and what are u working for?
Thank you B&D.
DeleteSometimes in life one has got to make a choice .
She chose family ❤️
Beds and Roses
DeleteFore this comment you will live long on earth.
Bed & Roses, ur submission works 50 50, d woman is lucky & her husband is a good man. My sister’s husband stopped her from working, with promises of setting her up, only to turn her to a house help without finance for twenty something years , graduate of UNN. Ds gist is meant for chronicles. She lacked everything a woman needs in her home ,bcoz , d man was so mean , coupled with Dv . To cut d story short, she made God her everything, from one prayer house to d other. As we speak, power has changed hands, she lives abroad with her brilliant kids , a Doctor, Lawyer, Engineers & little ones coming up , are there for her 24/7, bcoz they witnessed everything. Yeye man now travels often to visit them & he’s very rich o o.
DeleteI think this is more about how Nigerian politics favour men more than women.
ReplyDeleteSome political meetings are held late at night. Women in politics are also harassed one way or the other.
It is either a highly disciplined woman with an understanding partner that can keep both her job and marriage or a woman with 'I don't care' husband (just bring in the money).
Your brain dey dia, the women that can comfortably do this political jobs are,widows, menopausal women, women with grown ups etc,if not eh, the way things happen in politics,if your hubby happens to be the ones that takes no nonsense,E no go work!
DeleteThe main issue may even be the ones coming with the office which are likely to affect her marriage or affect her as a married woman because she has a conscience. On the contrary, if the heat is coming from her husband and she has no choice, then so be it. But for me, I'll only do this for a man who I can vouch would do same. Na better man wey de do well deserve this kain thing.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea what actually happened before she decided to resign. Maybe she was being sexually harrased by her boss or someone in the government quarters, or she may have fallen into adultery and decided to end the slippery slope into the abys before she losses her soul to eternal damnation.
ReplyDeleteIt is a fact many blog visitors cannot deny that a lot of career women sleep around to keep their jobs in Nigeria. The rate of sexual immorality in Nigeria to live the good life, for promotion, or to secure the job, is unimaginable.
There seems to be no godly and upright men in Nigeria who do not take advantage of women in need to gratify their fleshly desires. The number of cases bordering on adultery which I have had to wade in - in my line of work - is worrisome. Many marriages have broken down irretrievably because married women succumbed to adultery.
The woman's resignation may, or may not, have anything to do with her huusband. Any excuse can be given to to bail out of the environment.
This is the reality in Nigeria.
Tnk u @Faithful, I was coming for ds. It’s not only in politics. Ds here abounds in all spheres of public/private sectors . Just name it, Banks, Aviation, Hospitals, Educational, Business, (market women are not even exempted), etc. As long as there’s promotion or monetary exchange transactions, immorality must show face. We all were witnesses to some women in politics, who served from one government to another for long (some are late , while others are retired). U think sey na their brains sharp pass , abi na dem honest pass? Na today?
DeleteThe challenges of women in politics in Nigeria should be a topic of discussion. An exposé of what women go through 'behind the scenes' in Nigeria Politics.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting topic for project work!
DeleteHer choice!
ReplyDeleteUseless man wt insecurity
ReplyDeleteAunty you have a brain naw, use it. You can think outside the box like others are doing, you mustnt follow Stellas yansh
DeleteStop it please!
DeleteLike your Dad, right?
DeleteChai!!!
ReplyDeleteI know this woman when I was staying in that state.
Very pretty woman and a lover of God. The husband is a gentle man and supports his wife. He never fails to appreciate his wife whenever you have an encounter with him. Their kids are all teenagers . I wonder why she made this decision at the prime of her career.
I guess it has to do with the governor decamping to APC. Make I make enquiries
Don't forget to gist us 😁
DeleteSorry to say this,but most women who quit their jobs to "save their marriage" ended up regretting their decision. Quitting their jobs didn't stop their husbands from cheating on them or treating them disrespectfully. It made them even more vulnerable to mistreatment from their husbands and their in-laws.
ReplyDeleteShe quit that job, doesn't mean she will never work again .
DeleteYou people need to be calming down .
It's left for her to look for another job where she can have work-life balance .
Same way it happened to your mum. You must talking from experience
DeleteShe didn't need to write that as her reason.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she did not know what to write.
DeleteTrue !
Delete...and whoever leaked the letter , shouldn't have done so.
Hmmmmm nawa o, the husband is a dream killer. This shows he wasn't supportive probably threatened by her success o ma se o . Even if he's rich,that doesn't mean the w9fe shouldn't look for her own money
ReplyDeleteGoing anon on this, with the help 9f SDK and God I was able to start something last year after years of joblessness and stagnation, my dear hubby promised to help by collecting loan from his office to help me further,since SDK has helped in the push, he collected the loan quite alright instead of giving me to achieve my aim ,he used it to buy land,and he's to pay back in 4 years, meaning nothing in the next four years, when he's obvious I will make something out in this my pursuit,anyway weting God don start in my life, human no get power to stop am o. I will keep pushing and I must succeed in what I'm doing by God's grace
He should give you the money so that you he will be the one to be paying the loan back. In the future, you can come and claim independent lady and self made woman. Whatever women see from men these days, you asked for it
DeleteI feel sorry for the average Nigerian woman. You don't have a job, they call you "lazy" and "gold digger". You have a job, you better not earn more money or benefits than your husband, otherwise you'll be called "unsubmissive", "arrogant", etc. Give him all your salary once you are paid, then you'll be a good wife.
ReplyDeleteYou all remember the chronicle of the medical personnel whose husband and his family went behind her back to get a new wife? Remember their excuse? I bet you this woman is probably going through the same thing but chose to quit her job.
God forbid a woman earns well enough to be financially independent. It's a taboo here.
It’s not a taboo. The key is finding the right man whose thinking aligns with your dreams and aspirations.
DeleteMany women get it wrong from the word ‘go’; they either choose the wrong spouses because they didn’t make the right assessment, or choose the right spouse considering their level of maturity and self awareness at the time the decision was made. When they mature, or improve in their self awareness and reorder their priorities, the man finds it hard to adjust.
It’s very dangerous to get married simply because it is time. Time is a factor, but it’s better to marry when you set your own life on the right trajectory and be selfish when making a choice of a spouse. No need considering someone whose thinking is at variance with yours. Be selfish because the truth is, a big part of the journey of marriage is compromise. Within marriage, you WILL make compromises, you WILL adapt to changing circumstances, you WILL make sacrifices; but the process becomes much easier when you are with a reasonable partner. You can discuss and weigh issues and arrive at sensible conclusions based on fact, not based on whose muscle can be flexed the most.
The average Nigerian husband is a destiny destroyer
ReplyDeleteAnd the average Nigerian woman is equally a destiny destroyer
DeleteHaha Haha.....una no go kill person for this blog...so hilarious!...we have interesting humans in this blog...haha
DeleteWell you have to respect other people's opinion. Her life, her family , her choice. Not everybody value what you value, some value career, others value family, some value religion e.t.c
ReplyDeleteStella, I disagree with you about the marriage being dead. Sacrifice being paid is what makes a healthy home and strong relationship. Not everything in life is about career
The sexual advances towards women in politics is overwhelming. If you ain't inside, you will think it's all rosy in there. They have a lot to deal with, some succumb to pressure and bang these men and advance in their careers, no be luck o, na connect.
ReplyDeleteMay I not come close to any Africa country most especially Nigeria if there is a next life.
ReplyDeleteShut up, i repeat shut up!
DeleteIt is never too later dear. Just do it.
DeleteShe made the right choice.
ReplyDeleteIts so difficult for people to respect women's decision nowadays, especially when it comes to what pertains to their marriage/home!
ReplyDeleteMost of you have no firsthand Idea why this woman had to do this; what shall it profit a married woman with kids to have/keep a job that is tearing her and her family apart and lose her peace and happiness.
She's a smart woman, she can easily set herself up with a business that will grant her enough time with her family.
We are talking about politics here! Only God knows how many advances and threats she has gotten from all those immoral men
👍👍
DeleteMrs A,you are another person that will live long on earth
DeleteThe average Nigerian husband is a destiny destroyer yen yen yen, someone resigned to take care of her family, none of you could see whether the children were going haywire because of lack of care, everything na the husband, but this same women will do anything in heir power to get married, dance more than the husband on their wedding day o, but then she didn’t know she was marrying a destiny destroyer. I resigned my job the day my daughter was pointing at me asking her Mum who is that uncle while she was being bathed? Destiny destroyer yen yen yen, which destiny are they destroying? The destiny of submissiveness enshrined in the holy books or what? Abeg make una no disturb me this early momo, I’m outtie
ReplyDeleteLol@ who is that uncle 🤣 😂
DeletePolitics her is very very dirty and can completely ruin you if you aren't careful.
ReplyDeleteA lot of those politicians are lower than dogs when it comes to morality.
The husband might not have prompted this, the woman could have chosen to walk away for various reasons. The job could have been compromising her faith, might not have been affording her time to spend with her family and a lot more.
I don't blame her one bit, it's just the manner in which she wrote it that leaves a sour taste. Did she really have to quote all that as reason for resignation?
Well I personally think that this is more political than marital.
ReplyDeleteSince the governor jumped ship to APC, it has become so dramatic.
Maybe she was asked to join APC or risk being sacked, so she jejely resigned.
On the contrary Stella, it could be the depth of christianity her family exhibit where you practice what you preach. You and I know that Government is deceptive and this can never augur well with her husband which necessitated her resignation.
ReplyDeleteSDK I think you rushed to judgement on this one. That one paged letter doesn't tell us much . We don't have enough facts to reach conclusions about the state of her marriage or what it was exactly about her job that was a problem. Not all jobs are good. When I first got married I had a very demanding job. I didn't get pregnant for the first few years. After consulting with my Dr, talking it over with my husband and praying I quit and set up my own consultancy. I was very deliberate about working only part time and just generally took things a lot easier than i used to. I got pregnant and had both my babies after making these lifestyle changes. So let's not be too quick to rush to judgement here as we do not have enough details.
ReplyDeleteStella on this i totally disagree with you her choice her marriage if the step she take I worth serving her marriage let help pray for her pls your conclusion is wrong, she can equally do other things to keep her busy and generate income it most not be working for the government that will guarantee the safety of her marriage and money to take care of her family.
ReplyDeleteSo sad. Her marriage, her choice.
ReplyDeleteI love what she did, many women will sacrifice to save their family and marriage, but I wonder how many men will put family and spouse above all else? Okwa aju ju ka m juru...
ReplyDelete@ When a woman has to resign from her Job to save her Marriage,that Marriage is dead already!
ReplyDeleteFalse. Your view isn’t right.
Some of you should understand we are in a Patriarch society it is always about THE man being the lead. In civil service it is far easy for a woman to transfer her service to met with her husband than a man to transfer his service to meet with the wife. Stop comparing a man and woman we are not same. I woman makes a home take it or leave it. If you want other wise just be ready to be homeless as in living on your own
ReplyDeleteI would rather leave my husband than resign from a well paid job. No Nigerian man today is worth that kind of loyalty. He can go to blazes with his insecurity. If you ask him now to give you that same amount monthly, he will not. Untop of that stress, they will still cheat nonstop. I wont fall for that emotional blackmail.
ReplyDeleteYou obviously are not married so keep kwayet!!
DeleteMost people going under anonymous to drop their comments is proof that most Nigerian Men don't make good husbands. And they're dream killers...🤔🙆🏽♀️
ReplyDeleteEmerald has gotten the boot because she refused to go to APC with Dave. That's the omly reason for that thing she scribbled there. Someone who has been steady gbenshing the governor and getting appointed and reappointed since 2015 suddenly realized that her job is interfering with her marriage. Odiegwu.
ReplyDeletePlease keep her husband's name out of it. He is a good and calm man, very gentle to the core. He has nothing to do with this. It is only short aunty that knows how its doing her.
Lol 😆 🤣 😂
Delete😲😲😲....Push me out of the window!!!😭😭😭...Some professions just don't blend well with our gender. We are still recovering from the "most female bankers are prostitutes" claims.
DeleteA lot could be d reasons for her decision. Yes, someone said her husband is gentle & supportive. Agreed, but when temptations set in, even pastors will fall for it. Some of us read it on gossip dailies a while back ,how d Dr husband to a one time Minister , who’s a World class global asset, was messing around with their house help. Although , that caused a little bit of tension in d home, but probably bcoz of their ages & enlightenment, plus their brilliant grown up children, who are doing exceptionally well outside d country, d buzz died a natural death. D house help almost took over her home , bcoz they already sponsored her through school & refined her, so ds woman up there told us what she wants us to hear, which is acceptable, as she doesn’t owe us her life. No one should blame her for her decision.
Delete