Hmmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
GOING BACK TO AN EX
Good day Stella,
Good day Stella,
I need advice.
About a year ago, my boyfriend broke up with me, over a little quarrel we had. I think he had been planning to for a while, and just used that quarrel as an excuse. I thought it was our normal quarrel and we will settle eventually because I believed we really loved each other. But it wasn’t up to a week when I found out he was already dating his “bestie” who had been a shadow hanging around our relationship for the 2 years we were together.
I was badly broken, as I had just lost my job that month and I had nothing to distract me. I’ll say I even fell into depression, had panic attacks etc.
It was a really hard period for me and this continued for months until I started a business, since I couldn’t get another job. My truth is I really loved this guy. He was the LOML. My first love; and although we never had sex, people having sex would have been jealous of our intimacy. He is the most selfless person I have ever met. Caring to a fault., and honestly, no matter the number of guys that have asked me out during this period, I have not been able to move on from him. I feel like my heart is attached to him.
I still see him in my dreams.
2 weeks ago, he called me. Seriously crying and apologizing for how he broke up with me and hurt me. He said he knew I had moved on and I won’t accept him back but he just had to let me know that he was sorry.
He said all this sobbing, and hung up immediately he was done talking. I tried calling him back to calm him down, he didn’t take my calls. After a while he texted saying he was “okay now”. That he just needed to go out and clear his head. I responded with an “okay”.
My problem now is that I am scared. I haven’t moved on and God knows that if were possible, I want him back. Am I supposed to tell him that I’m still single, or just forget him?
How then do I forget him? This is a new year and I just want to be with someone (I need the companionship, I can’t lie). Please don’t insult me.
I only need good advice. Thanks
DO NOT ACCEPT HIM BACK OR TRY TO CONTACT HIM;MOVE ON!!!....you are better off without his bullsheet...he is trying to find closure from his guilty conscience....don't let him back in....
DO NOT ACCEPT HIM BACK OR TRY TO CONTACT HIM;MOVE ON!!!....you are better off without his bullsheet...he is trying to find closure from his guilty conscience....don't let him back in....
Babe move on.
ReplyDeleteSomeone that has gone back to the guy already.
DeleteStella she will go back to that guy.
Your ex is an actor he just shed crocodile tears.and the next thing you want to go back.
You forget your pants there?
You better move a better man will come.
Lol this girl sha just want to be used, 2020 no teach you lesson. Mrs lovina e go soon clear your eyes.
DeleteBe an (Azu Anu Uka) and don't look back. Move
DeleteSince you said you need good advice let
DeleteMe try. There are two scenarios. A: his gf has dumped his ass and now he wants to come back, or B he experienced something that made him feel guilt bout the way he treated you. Therefore you have two options. If you say good bye say goodbye for good, don’t start saying you are friends etc just forget him and block him everywhere. If you choose to go back let me first ask you how old are you? Are you at a critical age for marriage? Because he might come waste your time and break your heart again. If you are still young you may try but a word of advise: DO NOT GO BACK EASILY. Let Him grovel and beg let him suffer, before you accept. We are talking like 6 months. And remeber if you do that he may think after this 6 months of begging I must sleep with her, guard that well too. Don’t agree for him lest he sleep with you and run.
Bestie has broken brother's heart, he is now looking for a rebound. You better use the energy you will use on him to develop your business and this mentality of I just want anyone will make you fall into the wrong hand.
DeleteLove yourself, spend quality time with yourself, take yourself out and enjoy life then you will see how men will flock you. Men hate desperate ladies, I hate desperate men too.
Kai this guy is a smooth operator.
ReplyDeletePoster he dumped you about a year ago and came back now to manipulate you probably the bestie has left his ass.
Biko this is 2021, HAVE SENSE.
π’π’π’ you guys should please naw...
DeleteIt's not easy to just "have sense" and "not accept him back" and "move on".
I have been in posters shoes a couple of times and truth be told, all I wished for then was to take them back if they ever came back. It hurts.
Poster, the guy sure is a mind player. He knows you are torn. What my mischievous self would do is get back to him with my mind made up that I am going back to it to "take". I 'll go back and heal then walk. I did it once and it was so sweet given the carefree spirit I came back with and it confused him all the more when each time he tried to talk about the future I don't flow. I refused to commit in any way and he wondered why. The situationship eventually ended with me feeling very elated, healthier self-esteem and glowing.
Yes Saphire, I did that the only time I ever got back with an ex. There was nothing that could keep me from going back because I truly considered him the love of my life and my best friend. But I went back with the mind that I would just enjoy his companionship and friendship, I didn’t put a lot of feelings into it. And when we broke up a second time, I had full closure and I wasn’t as hurt.
DeleteSo poster, if you do decide to go back, keep your feelings in check. Allow him to EARN YOUR LOVE AND TRUST. This one that you’re already calling him one million times after he called you once.
The truth is that you both have learnt to live without each other, so it will no longer be that “I can’t live without you” kind of love. Don’t expect too much and don’t give too much until he has proved himself to you.
I pity you, you will fall into repression the next time.
ReplyDeleteYou should have helped me type the repression in Capital letters.
DeleteAll these men problems chronicles are becoming tiring. Ladies, this is 2021. Let us start writing about making money and sucess moves. Leave all these man thinking alone. True love will find you when the time comes.
ReplyDeletehonestly ..... man mata in this 2021... haba
DeleteGod bless you dear
DeleteRemember, the so called bestie is still alive and very much available,just incase you wanna go back.
ReplyDeleteStella you are a wise woman. That's the word, "trying to find closure". Look how he stylishly put are the weight of what he had done on the poster after she has accepted her fate.
ReplyDeleteThis is almost my case, the difference is that the new girl he do post on his status is someone I don't even know. I've never had a reason to doubt him though. He asked for a break for a month or two. Guy man said I was seeing someone else meanwhile all my make friends knew him o
ReplyDeleteI just tired, still trying to move on
You are still seeing his status and you want to move on... That ain't happening soon. Berra block that status sharp sharp
DeleteYou still have his phone number on your phone and viewing his WhatsApp status πππ?
DeleteSome of you girls get mind sha, person wey you suppose don block or delete off your phone.
Nonsense, rada rada π
I take God beg you, don't consider hi.back, that call and crying and you calling back and not picking is all a game to him, if you accept him back ,he will try to succeed at what he could succeed at in his first tenure ,that is having sex with you, which is probably the reason he's back, please moveeeee
ReplyDeleteYou're 100% right !
DeleteYou're 100% right!
DeleteDarling I am sorry about how you feel but you deserve better! Don't allow anyone to toy with your emotions!! Block his lines, unfollow him on all social media, delete his pictures anything that will distract you or remind you of him...See how he broke up with you without any respect at all for you, to all the memories and feelings you once both shared..Don't be afraid to be single or let anyone make you play the position of the ''Second Fiddle''..This is the time to rediscover yourself and even date yourself, try to declutter your mind and make yourself available physically, emotionally so you can be ready to date again...And I will add your new 'boyfriend and baby'' is your business; you need to nuture and build it cause you need the earn a living for yourself.. You have cried for him, please forgive him cause that is the most selfish thing to do for yourself;now it is time to learn from everything that happened and work on how to make your next relationship better; things to accept and things not to tolerate..All the best dear..
ReplyDeleteBest advice everπ by Endswat
DeleteMY DARLING, PLEASE USE YOUR DELETE BOTTLE. THE BABE HAS DUMPED HIS SORRY ASS AND HE IS LOOKING FOR SERIOUS CLOSURE. IDIOT BOY WITH FAKE TEARS. REAL MEN DONT CRY ANY HOW.
ReplyDeletePlease your virginity is yours to treasure, 95% of those that lost theirs to the person who isn't their husband ended up regretting it later, please treasure yours, I regretted loosing mine before meeting the right one, mind you every looks like the right one, until they eat and japa, please don't make the mistake I made, keep that virginity for your same, many girls will give anything to have theirs back
ReplyDeleteI never read where she said she is a virgin. Not having sex in a relationship doesn't equate being a virgin. Don't go back to him poster as hard as it is..
DeleteVirgin on this post or another ππ³π±π€ππ?
DeleteNa your kpekus e dey find. RUN!!!!
ReplyDeleteGuy man dey look for kpekus to ππ. If you know : you know π€·πΎ♀️
DeleteStella please save your red pen because she will not listen
ReplyDeleteYou may want him, but the question is; does he want you?
ReplyDeleteIf he does, he will come calling and you will maintain your dignity as
a lady and give him conditions and so on.
You need to preserve your respect and that is very important for your healing too.
And please resist the temptation of being promiscuous because of this heart break.
It is worse down that road. Get closer to God in his Word and prayers and depend on him
to guide you.
π€π€π€π€
Poster please follow this advise, tgsnk sapphire, you always say it as it is. I so Der how people easily say move on. That someone misbehaved shouldn't harden your heart.
DeletePoster if at all you decide to go back which I'd never judge you for, pls keep your opinions open. He may do it again
DeleteThat guy want to mess with your head move on don't call him again. It's hard to forget someone you love but you have healed don't go back to that place again if not it will be difficult for you.
ReplyDeleteEmotional manipulation at its finest. He has moved on and he’s just assuaging his guilty conscience. He has shown you who he is. Believe him.
ReplyDeleteSo because you see him in your dreams, that's a sign ba. My dear, DO NOT GO BACK, or else na premium tears you go cry o.
ReplyDeleteThis guy is playing mind games with you.
ReplyDeleteHe calls you, cries on the phone, asks for your forgiveness, hangs up, doesn't pick after that . .
Sister, please receive sense and move on
I wonder how una dey carry man matter for head sotey depression go enter...na wa o dats why men keep passing u people cos no self love at all...una turn man to god abeg poster ur mama no born man
ReplyDeleteThe descriptions you gave of him did not match his behavior and treatment of you.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is nobody here can answer you because you already answered your question. "I haven’t moved on and God knows that if were possible, I want him back..." What do you want us to tell you now? Your own words have said it all. Go back to him and be at peace, that is what you want, so go and fulfill your desires.
You said “ We never had sex” hmmm π€ He is coming back for sex then he will dump you for the 2nd and last time . You better move on .
ReplyDeleteHe didn't get it before so he is back to eat what he didn't before abi?
DeletePoster ignore this guy ASAP. Block him everywhere .
ReplyDeleteYou don't need such negativity in your life this year.
If you go back to this guys he will hurt you. They always do.
Better focus on your business and loving yourself.
At the right time a good guy will come.
ReplyDeleteLol...It is normal to love sha, the heart wants what it wants.
But don't tell him anything, if he wants you back let him earn your trust again.
After all you're not married and he knows, if he really feels like you're the LOHL he will go all out to try and snatch you back from the perceived boyfriend.
The mistake that you'll make is letting him just slide back into your life like nothing happened, if you like go and start forming love in Tokyo immediately.
Let him assume he is snatching you o, make him very desperate at that...he better be trying all he can financially and otherwise to win you over, hope you're not part of the "I don't like guys spending on me" crew.
Please move the hell on. He will come back this time, fuck you and leave. So keep moving on.
ReplyDeleteO boy, is this me? OK Its not because
ReplyDelete1.i don't know/there wasn't a bestie
2. The breakup was over the phone
3. He reached out last week asking that we meet and talk which is yet to happen.
Apart from these, this could have been me.
I'm really hoping to learn from this chronicle
O boy, is this me? OK Its not because
ReplyDelete1.i don't know/there wasn't a bestie
2. The breakup was over the phone
3. He reached out last week asking that we meet and talk which is yet to happen.
Apart from these, this could have been me.
I'm really hoping to learn from this chronicle
Forget him
DeleteMove on
Fine, you've not moved on.. Accepted, αΊΉ dey happen! We are all different but is your name Ruth? Because I don't know why he must be the person you date again.. So e mean say you no learn anything from the previous break up abi?
ReplyDeleteOkay o.. Start showing him motherly love you hear? since you are abiamo to gbo ekun omo re to tati were (a mother that heard the cry of her child and took action)
I'm outtie ππ
π π π π π π π π
Deleteπ€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π€£π @second paragraph
DeleteRajab abeg no kill me with laugh..
Let that boy be gone.
ReplyDeleteMadam, he didn't cry that you guys should get back together naw.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, stay away from him. He dumped you to date someone else, someone you already knew was around him. Don't be foolish. Such a man can cheat on you in marriage
Poster I wish you case will be different if you go back but from my experience I'll advice you not to. I was in the same situation few years ago. Guy came back crying and begging nonstop for hours I fell for it took him back at the expense of a very nice guy that was asking me out then. It wasn't up to 2months guy man switched back to his cheating ways. I regretted ever going back.
ReplyDeleteLeopard spots
DeleteTigers stripes
Their conscience is under their feet
You must have lost your senses to consider having him back. When will some women learn???!!!
ReplyDeleteAunty move on ooooooooooooooooooooo. My ex did more than this, he will even send people to beg me sef. When we married and he got a better job wey him eye see money and women, the way i have been rubbished ehnnnn. Wo babe just move one. for the fact that he started dating his 'bestie' shows that any small quarrel, he is using any close lady to spite you and even insult you! By then you will be dazed because you thought he was sweet and soft... Hear word oooo!
ReplyDeleteThere is no harm in accepting him back. It will help you heal and make you focus. Also, it will help you rediscover your true self. Love is about forgiving after all. You have nothing to loose.
ReplyDeletePoster, I can relate to this your story. DO NOT accept him again. He is probably after the sex he couldn't get while in the relationship. Again the bestie may have dumped him and he decided to fall back on you. Ask God for the grace to move on and please move on! If he offers friendship also, DON'T accept.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella. Poster, "eti e melo? (how many ears('ve) you got?
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add, don't ever ever contact him for anything again. Why are you so shameless (just English not an abuse)? It took only a few seconds of rambling to make you forget what you went tru. That you called him back and he didn't pick is enough signal for you. If he was really sorry, he would jump at the opportunity. He had to send a text to mask the mockery in his voice. He was was probably laughing and dancing to your call ringing. I can bet you, he's getting married soon, that's the reason he called.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella. Poster, "eti e melo? (how many ears('ve) you got?
ReplyDeleteHe is the most caring and selfless person you ever met yet he dumped you to be with bestie that he was probably shagging while u were together. Aunty,pls pray to God to release you from the soul tie you are in cus that is what this is. Simple. That way u can move on with ur life and get a better man. This guy ain't it
ReplyDeleteReturning to him is at returnee's risk. Nne, move on, that guy will break your heart over and over.
ReplyDeleteNever allow anyone take you for granted, I mean anyone (save this for now and your future). No one is indispensable.
RUN
ReplyDeleteYour heart will be destroyed this time around
He is playing mind games,an emotional manipulator...
He hanged up quickly cos his bestie was coming lol...They had a little quarrel...Borrow sense abeg...
ReplyDeleteReturning back to him will give you a other heart attack, just walk away.
ReplyDeleteSee listen, the wrongest mistake we make is making a man feel we need him so badly. Just lock up joor and free him. He is looking for booty call.
ReplyDelete