STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DESPERATE HUSBAND
My wife has denied me sex now for about two months and I tried to be forceful by seizing her purse which contains her driving licences, ssn, green card etc so that she wouldn't be able to go out and the next thing was she called 911 on me saying i was physically abusing her....
My wife has denied me sex now for about two months and I tried to be forceful by seizing her purse which contains her driving licences, ssn, green card etc so that she wouldn't be able to go out and the next thing was she called 911 on me saying i was physically abusing her....
I had to escape before police arrived...
This is a woman i have spent my life earnings on from Nigeria to US, helped her brothers, secured visa and paid thousands of dollars for tickets to bring her parents to the US.
I have always done everything required of a man for his wife and kids. I have done everything i know including daily house chores, many say she is cheating on me but I find this hard to believe because she wasn't such a girl and I don't see reason why she would just change like that.
She denies me s#x for 3 months sometimes and I'm not a ugly guy, i dress well and consider her and the children first in everything i do, I'm considering something spiritual on this matter because I'm tired.
WOW.......I am really sorry about this.
Is there something you do that she does not like?Have you tried having a conversation and asking her why she changed?
Going spiritual might actually fetch you more problems....
Where is THAT chronicle?🙄
ReplyDeleteAmerican wonder!
Delete🤣🤣🤣
My husband denied me sex for 6mths just because he is cheating on me, when he eventually gave in, he infected me with staphylococcus aureus, now I have decided to lock up and face front... Oga poster, you have either offended your wife or she no longer finds you attractive, or she's cheating on you. Please have a talk with her
Delete16.23
DeleteStaph is not a sexually transmitted disease
Heheheheeee
DeleteDante!!!! You too harsh..
Imagine what she is saying
Sir please snoop, you should be sharper than her so use your American skills. Make her crawl back to you if found guilty.
DeleteTo be honest. The woman has lost interest in you, maybe she fancies someone else, bringing someone over doesn't guarantee eternal love please. Give her space, she will come back to her senses, if she doesn't, get a divorce, and get partial custody. Kilode, is it by force. I hate when men think they own a body's forever cos they are married. Talk to her, maybe she wants space. You too, get busy and get someone else to satisfy you. Didnt you watch scandal series? Fitz was denied sex for 10 years, did he die? No! He found love elsewhere. I'm angry jare
DeleteBros going spiritual will land u into many problems u will regret in ur life. Please call ur wife n have a heart 2 heart talk with her find out what's her problem n if she cant tell u her problem Bros face front n moveeeeee cos dis life n once for all
ReplyDeleteI'm a woman. I wonder if it was a fellow woman who sent ds in, y'all will give same advice without first telling her her husband is cheating on her 100%. I pity whoever takes all the advice in here seriously.
DeleteYeah. I actually feel for the poster. No one should be taken advantage of whether male or female. And I feel really bad because he is in a country where women are listened to do she can lie against him and he loses all he has worked for.
DeleteEven if he divorces her because he is tired the woman gets half and she was the cause of the marriage scattering.
Oga sorry oh.
I don't know whether to tell you to pray or just ignore her.
Talk to a lawyer though to know your options.
Dear poster, I think you should talk to your wife. Ask her why she's denying you of your conjugal rights?!
ReplyDeleteI feel your pains!
I hope someone is not misleading your wife! As some of these women from Nigeria can be very naive, gullible and easy to misled.
Poster, I see from your post that you're pained and you need your home to work; please, you need to seek the face of God. Call on Him to restore your home and bring peace and harmony.
Don't go seeking for it outside, for you will be the one to pay the price.
I pray peace and love in your home.
She might be suffering from hormonal imbalance.
ReplyDeleteYou want to go spiritual because of a woman? You better get up and act like the man that you are and stop being a simp. Go out there and get yourself a sweet babe.
ReplyDeleteWhen a woman comes to say her husband has not been satisfying her, I hope you give her the same advice. Y’all big ass hypocrites! Tueh!
DeletePlease sit her down and have a conversation.
ReplyDeleteBefore you do that take some time out and think, dig deep. This calls for deep introspection.
Then you approach her. Have your options laid out on the table. Ask her questions. Be gentle. Let her open up to you.
Also pray and ask God to speak to her heart and convict her.
If it goes well, you both should renew your vows and DO NOT play with communication.
Im so sorry you’re passing through this.
I pray it’s resolved.
I think you have a high libido while your has a low or no libido at all. I noticed a lot of women pretend to like sex or maybe 'just do it' for the sake of whatever but for how long can that be kept up? Communication and therapy will solve your problem because I can see calling the police on you hasn't waned your raging sexual desire for your wife at all which means there is still hope for your marriage.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I think every partner deserves to know that the other has lost interest in sex. At least give that person a chance to help you work on finding solutions or give them the option to go find a lover if you do not plan on having sex again. I don't like the lack of communication or pretending that nothing is wrong. Talk about it and work it out together.
DeleteI am always the one with the high drive, yet to meet a man who can keep up. I always have to adjust to a man's lower libido. And have come to the conclusion that most men are not half as sexual as they think they are. They are all selling a damn fantasy😂
Talk to her first.
ReplyDeleteWhat if she's a Lesbian and only had to settle with you because of societal pressure but has discovered herself and gotten confident in her sexuality due to the new environment she's found herself. You guys need to have that long talk.
ReplyDeleteYou may be right you know
DeleteOkokobioko! !!! Ikpu causing problems up and down.
ReplyDeleteBut why will you sieze those stuff because she refused to fuck?
Oga you are downplaying this issue, and I suspect you did more than you are letting us on.
You come across as a bully and autocratic.
Imagine listing things that are your responsibilities at home, for us to start applauding you!
Biko shift.
Direct your wife to this post to give us her version, then we will advise better.
You are in such civilised country and you were bold enough to try what you tried, then I can only imagine if you were in Nigeria.
You are not innocent! !
Part of his responsibilities were not to fend for her siblings. I'm sure you know
DeleteWhat a man!! So it's a crime she called 911 for you, but it's not a crime to sieze her documents and properties abi??
ReplyDeleteHave you tried to find out why she's not fucking you again?
Please do and amend your ways.
Watch war rooms and and hit the gym if you have pot belly!
How is your hygiene?
Please look into that as well.
I hope she did not stumble into any secret of yours to continue denying you sex. It could be frustrating knowing the kind of sacrifices you said you made and your wife denies you what should be your right. Isn't there any of her relatives you could talk to to know her side of the story if she has refused saying what's the problem is?
ReplyDeleteDo not go spiritual as they give one and collect ten. Bone her and live as if she does not exist and she will start seeking your face.
Good luck
I think there's an ongoing issue between you and your wife that you are not addressing cos no sex for 3 months is definitely a problem. What you did is not an okay behavior either, bro.
ReplyDeleteTry to woo your wife again, get her to open up if you don't know what her problem is. My spiritual advice for you is to take it to God in prayers.
LOW LIBIDO,I experienced it after my second child. She might not be cheating on you, talk to her and hear her out.
ReplyDeleteI also experienced low libido after my second child. I denied oga sex for a year plus or let's just say in a year we didn't have sex more than 3 times. He complained but didn't push too much. After 1yr 8months I decided to try and push for it cos I was beginning to feel bad for Oga. But honestly I just had no sexual urge and still don't.
DeleteHi Ajay,
DeleteHave you tried going to a sexual therapist? Have you tried supplements like maca that enhance sexual drive
Don't feel for him cos am very sure he's getting it outside.
DeleteDid you visit Nigeria to fuck ashawo, thinking she did not know. Sharp women set surveillance for their abroad husbands who enter Nigeria. Many of you come to Nigeria to do rubbish. Impregnate or marry another woman. Sorry if you are the good one. Call her for a heart to heart talk.
ReplyDeleteShe is denying you sex, and you are complaining? Keep being nice to her and arrange yourself like a guyman which you've been doing before u brought her over. 3months is too long for ur wife to deny u kerewa, or did she catch u cheating? Use wisdom o, else you will find yourself outside n lose every thing.
ReplyDeleteOne guy is oiling her engine n u are whining. Trust at ur own peril. If this chronicle was reversed, everyone would say u r getting it outside daz y u are denying ur wife.
So get smart!
Don’t mind pple blaming you . Your wife is wicked .
ReplyDeleteJust ignore her and get her side chic or pretend to get one .
Ignore her completely .
Man up !!
Her denying you sex without any explanation why is itself a form of abuse. Sex is the only thing that a married couple are expected to do only with each other. Obviously she is playing some kind of game or going through something deeper. You have not said if you spoke to her about it and asked her why.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I am not sure why she called the police especially when Black men are losing their lives so easily at the hands of the police. I couldn't imagine doing that to someone I love. Maybe the love is gone. Maybe she is going through menopause or displaying the early signs of dementia. Only God knows what is going on with her. Please speak with her. If you have a church speak to your pastor or try couples counseling.
Sorry for what you are going through, but seek for answers. If you are a prayerful reach out to God. I wish you both all the best.
Oga please watch war room and pray, there is nothing God cannot do 😒
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, e be like say abroad don taya you. For your wife to call the cops on you, it must be very serious.
Lastly, sex is not food, tie your legs and pretend to be a mermaid darling
This is not a good advice anonymous! Maybe you're being sarcastic with your comment.
DeleteThis poster married his wife and took her to the US. Calling the cops on him when she's aware of how fast these American cop can just kill him just like that, is a very dangerous thing.
If she's tired of the marriage, she should let the man know and they should set themselves free amicably without setting the man up!
Mrs E, anon up there is obviously being sarcastic. Isn't that what they would have a woman if the reverse was the case?
DeleteThen he should not do what will make her call the cops. Why should any person seize another person's passport. Is that not a form of slavery?
DeletePoster sit your wife down and TALK! She is a human being and has rights to pleasure too. Maybe you are not doing something right by her.
The way you're going about it sef, even if she agrees, the sex will be bland, " come and do sharp sharp let me sleep" type of sex. Be guided.
1. Never deny your husband sex unless it's for reasons beyond your control.. like you're sick, very tired etc etc, he should be able to understand that.. not trying to use it to punish, fight or manipulate him. Same goes for the husband, though this is common with women. IMO, that's enough to end a marriage cos the issues that comes from such nonsense behavior are much.
ReplyDelete2. The first sign of knowing when a woman is cheating, she'll start avoiding sex with you. Cheating doesn't necessarily mean having sex with another man, when a lady start giving too much attention, time etc etc to some other guy not her husband, that's cheating, and it's very dangerous. Whether the man is her pastor or ex, there no difference
3. Now set your arrows to attack me, but I don't believe in a man having one woman. It would mess you up, she'll mess up your psyche. The only reason why most ladies behave themselves is cos they know you have option or rather, you can easily get options. Know this and know peace.
Our forefathers were the real men, too many weak men of late. See how man come here dey cry after all the sacrifices he did done for her. Oga sit up and stop being a sissy.
Let me tell you a short story, there was this man married to a wife like yours, very unappreciative and troublesome.. he was frustrated and suicidal, complained to my uncle, he came up with a plan as a lawyer, drafted a divorce petition and served the lady, what she didn't know is that he really didn't file it in court, omo come and see begging nah, all her nonsense stopped, her parents also got involved in the begging., now he has peace. She was misbehaving because she never in her wildest dream believed he can ever divorce her.
You don't need to follow that method, but stop being predictable.
Respect is all a man needs, but if she can't respect you, then she needs to fear you.
Bless and good luck
Na their way for this country.Once they get a good job and already have kids,they start looking for a way to push the man out so they start living single like most Nigerian women here.there’s tens of first hand examples and I’m dealing with one of such women too.one that lied to the police that her husband was molesting their daughter nko cos she wanted to inherit the mansion the man struggled to buy way before he met her.turned out she was lying after years and years in court.I fear who no fear some abroad women.
ReplyDeleteBia, don't come here and discourage people that want to come and marry us from the abroad ageb
DeletePoster, why will you seize her belongings all because of sex. You probably rough handled or beat her that is why you had to run.
ReplyDeleteI think you need some time apart while seeing a marriage counselor. Things don't need to degenerate into abuse. Also take it to the Lord in prayer.
Lovelace
Poster, if your wife is denying you sex, pls kindly go out there, find one cute babe and gbensh to satisfy yourself abeg, You can't kee yourself, Can you?. Go enjoy your life and leave her, she's cheating on you already and she might never come into your arms again.
ReplyDeleteYou too do yours, But with protection biko. Cheers. I await your update jare.
Oga don't try this stupid advice unless you're tired of living abroad and Nigeria is shouting your name.
DeleteThat your wife no send o. She'll have good grounds for divorce and you may lose all you've worked hard to achieve.
Take your time and communicate. A lot of men do not like to talk. They want quick action. Things don't work that way.
Dear Poster, don't get it twisted. Forcing your spouse for sex is marital rape and it's a crime. That you helped her and her family relocate doesn't give you the right to force her for sex, either physically or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it was very wrong of you to seize her documents. Is she a child that you'll do such a thing? She's an adult for crying out loud. Nigerian men are so used to treating wives like children in Nigeria that they get into so much trouble when they try that behavior abroad. Frankly, your wife did the right thing by calling 911. She's in a country that have laws to protect her.
That being said, have you tried to find out what is really wrong? Is she nursing a baby? How is her work life balance? Is she ill or going through any form of hormonal imbalance? Have you explored going to a doctor together to try to resolve the issue?
I suggest you reconcile with your wife and proactively try to resolve this.
I don't want to think she's cheating like you aaid but better to be safe than sorry. Get a private investigator to track her movement. Sounds like you can afford it. God forbid it turns out to be so, please don't do anything that would destroy your life. She's not worth it.
I wish you and your family well.
You make all the right sacrifices to make your wife and her family happy, and she is deliberately punishing you. No doubt, you are a very weak man. Stop asking for sex from her, ignore her and move to the guest room if you have one. Look for ways to make yourself happy. Change your behavioural patterns. Don't build your life around anybody. Grow your balls man. Don't discuss anything relating to sex with her. Don't be a slave to your wife, go out there and explore. Life is short
DeletePoster I feel your pain but don't go spiritual because you may end up inviting more troubles. Start making plan B like saving up for the rainy day, hope for the worst in that marriage. But first talk to her and know what is wrong but if nothing changes then know that you have lost her already. It is well with you Sir.
ReplyDeleteTaaa!!! Tell us what you did uncle goody two shoes. You for wait na make ekelebe come carry you. Tueh!!!
ReplyDeleteMr Poster she is able to do that because she considers you a weakling. Don't be surprised that it a man less than you and a ruffian she's into.
ReplyDeleteI won't advise you to have affairs but ignore and carry on as you don't care or pretend you have a girl outside and see her reaction. And started putting money in a secret place unknown to her. She will eventually divorce you and make you lose everything you worked for. Plan your exit strategy.
Danger Alert!
ReplyDeleteThe poster is losing the battle against his marriage and, by extension, his mind.
This chronicle a cry for help written by a man who is teetering on the precipice. I lived abroad for many years and I know exactly what is going on with the poster.
Your wife is under influence. This may be due to unrealized expectations, a new love interest who spark off a suppressed desire in her, or it could be the poster is under the water and cannot cater to her financial or intellectual needs. One thing is certain: the woman is under external influence.
Please poster, do not kill your wife even if you discover her tryst. Please do not go that route and end up in jail.
The pressure building up in you may trigger irrational behavior, but please take a walk and let the woman be. Giving her space may be difficult and painful but know this: she is not going to change without divine intervention, if another man is in the picture.
It is a dicey situation if she has gone the whole nine yard with whoever is involved. I wish you divine intervention to stay calm and let time resolve this.
Many relationships that collapsed and witnessed by me in Dallas ended up in premium tears for all the families involved. Yours will not end in tears. Amen.
Maybe she didn't even love him and just wanted abroad. Anyway, new environment and mental stress change people and may have changed her. This is a very common story and I still wonder why Nig men will not marry the women abroad but always go home to find young gullible naive woman, believing their story will be different. Nawa.
DeleteMost likely.
DeleteNigerians living abroad are revered here by the society, but when the exported wife arrives in the West and discover that the man she fell madly in love with is a hustler in the lowest rung of the totem pole, by the standard of the new environment, resentment often sets in.
The euphoria of going abroad takes but little time to wear off, in some cases a few hours or days; then the woman would start asking for more.
There is no heaven on earth.
Did u cheat on her ? Hire a private investigator or hack her phone to see if she's cheating,there's a program on cbsreality called cheaters where a man or woman hires the cheaters crew to see if their spouse is cheating
ReplyDeleteThis narative is a re-occuring decimal the US. Poster, the best thing is to know why she is acting out. Then take your best decision afterwards. Please do not go on a shooting spree like the couple in Sugarland, Houston last year. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteShe is not cheating Bro, most men in this US just stop trying, they blame work, not cutting hair, smelling good or dressing nicely. They feel once a woman loves them she should just spread her legs. He feels after all we gist so we are good, if you want to keep fucking both parties should put in the work of staying attractive.
ReplyDeletePoster you need to get to the root of the problem not by sizing her belonging, all you need to get a woman to talk is love, mire love, attention.
ReplyDeleteSomething left her about you, find out what you wrong that need to be corrected.
Poster you need to get to the root of the problem not by sizing her belonging, all you need to get a woman to talk is love, mire love, attention.
ReplyDeleteSomething left her about you, find out what you wrong that need to be corrected.
If your "going spiritual" is fasting and praying and asking Jesus for help; good!
ReplyDeleteIf it is any other thing, friend please don't because, you will sell your soul to Satan.
The greatest "going spiritual" you did was marrying her.
Marriage is honorable, the marriage bed undefiled but God will judge the adulterers and
sexually immoral. Hebrew 13:4
Be careful not to breach the law of the Spirit of life in Christ.
Cheers. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I think she's cheating and unfortunately I don't know what to advise you.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand could she be undergoing menopause?
Talk to her sincerely first. Send her a text apologising for the things you seized.
Then ask if she's no longer interested in the marriage. If she says she is, tell her she must open up about why she doesn't wanna have sex and you two will find a solution together.
I don't like suffering in marriage. If you've endured for six months. Throw them the option of separation or divorce.
I think she's cheating and unfortunately I don't know what to advise you.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand could she be undergoing menopause?
Talk to her sincerely first. Send her a text apologising for the things you seized.
Then ask if she's no longer interested in the marriage. If she says she is, tell her she must open up about why she doesn't wanna have sex and you two will find a solution together.
I don't like suffering in marriage. If you've endured for six monthd. Throw them the option of separation or divorce.
Poster, are you both stressed out? Stress can definitely affect intimacy. First thing you must do is talk talk and talk. Do not do anything in a forceful way. For goodness sake, why would you seize her green card and all? So because you did so much for her, you now have this crazy entitlement mentality that whatever you say she must do. It does not work that Way. She’s a grown woman who can say yes or NO. She did not force you to do all these things for her. It was out of your free will. And besides you both ARE MARRIED. Whatever you do is for the both of you and your children, for love and not because you’re expecting a favor back.
ReplyDeleteIf calm communication is not working at this point, please please and please separate for now for your sanity sake else someone might go to jail. We sabi know how the law here favors women and in all honesty, I’m happy it does. we know how some men can be very authoritative and FORCEFUL!
In the long run, I’ll STRONGLY suggest marriage counseling on what both husband and wife should expect in a marriage. It’s not easy blending two people together from different backgrounds. It takes patience, love, understanding, selfless act on both sides and not just one sided.
Also don’t over spend and over do things for this lady for goodness sake. Please stop and focus first on yourself and well-being! YOU DONT have to cater to her extended family. Your cup of tea is you, your wife and children. If you have have extra and feel the need to help her family, then YES by all means do. But NO, you’re not obligated to cater to her extended family. Focus on yourself for now and take it from there. Good luck and please update us