Na wah.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THREE EDGED PROBLEM....
Hi Stella. Compliments of the season.
Please I seriously need input to an issue bothering on my marriage. I have earlier written you about my marital woes especially as regards living with my parents in law. The issue has degenerated.
I discovered that my husband is having an affair with a lady that he belongs to same socio-cultural group with. I got to know about this girl when I was courting my husband and he said there was nothing sexual between them. I believed him but anytime this girl comes around, my hubby behaves like a lovesick puppy.
Early this year, I discovered hubby chats inappropriately with her and always deletes their chats. I have begged and cajoled him to reduce contact with this girl,he will beg me and not long after he will go back to the same thing.At some point, I had to tell hubby's uncle and he waded into the matter with hubby promising to stop communicating with her.
The most recent happened early this December, I intercepted a chat between them and they had already planned that hubby would book a hotel room and use the guise of a wedding ceremony we were both invited to, to sleep with her from there he would go to the wedding, after reception, return to her and they both come back in the evening.
Meanwhile, hubby has refused that we will look for accommodation citing no money or else I am willing to pay the rent but he promised this girl to give her money as she plainly said she doesn't offer s#x without something in exchange.
When I told his parents, they said they would talk with hubby and find out from him. When hubby was confronted, his excuse was that I don't respect him and I am not humble because he doesn't have money. That I am always calling my mom and telling her things happening in my home.
When my parents in law invited us, they started blaming me over everything about their son from his not going to church to his(family)business not going well even saying if the law firm I am attached to is not paying, I should leave practice and go and sit down at the shop with him. They said so many things insinuating that I am not a virtuous woman and that I am planning to scatter their family all because I sometimes confide in my mom or that I don't submit my 30,000 Naira salary to hubby to add to his business. Father in law not for once did he berate my hubby for even considering going to book a hotel. (I have never denied hubby s#x for one day because I loved him, don't know for now cos I am pissed)
Hubby is saying unless I come and kneel down and apologize to him that he is not going to speak to me.
I am seriously tired of this marriage. hubby didn't deny having a relationship with this girl. He doesn't even care how I feel but he is busy gloating, saying since I have told his people, they should come and beat him na. So many things are wrong with the foundation of this marriage and I am honestly fed up because my parents in law have obviously picked sides.
Hi Stella. Compliments of the season.
Please I seriously need input to an issue bothering on my marriage. I have earlier written you about my marital woes especially as regards living with my parents in law. The issue has degenerated.
I discovered that my husband is having an affair with a lady that he belongs to same socio-cultural group with. I got to know about this girl when I was courting my husband and he said there was nothing sexual between them. I believed him but anytime this girl comes around, my hubby behaves like a lovesick puppy.
He has gone to lengths of even trying to link the girl up with his male friends who are not married, and I told him that all those aren't necessary as he is acting like he wants to compensate her over something (maybe not marrying her) as a human I am, I don't like the girl because she is always flirting with my husband whenever she comes around.
Early this year, I discovered hubby chats inappropriately with her and always deletes their chats. I have begged and cajoled him to reduce contact with this girl,he will beg me and not long after he will go back to the same thing.At some point, I had to tell hubby's uncle and he waded into the matter with hubby promising to stop communicating with her.
The most recent happened early this December, I intercepted a chat between them and they had already planned that hubby would book a hotel room and use the guise of a wedding ceremony we were both invited to, to sleep with her from there he would go to the wedding, after reception, return to her and they both come back in the evening.
I was mad!!
I cried that night and on impulse called my mom and confided in her. She advised that I inform hubby's parents since we stay with them.
Meanwhile, hubby has refused that we will look for accommodation citing no money or else I am willing to pay the rent but he promised this girl to give her money as she plainly said she doesn't offer s#x without something in exchange.
When I told his parents, they said they would talk with hubby and find out from him. When hubby was confronted, his excuse was that I don't respect him and I am not humble because he doesn't have money. That I am always calling my mom and telling her things happening in my home.
This is a Man I married with all my heart even knowing that money wasn't there.
The only issues I have told my mom is because of the accommodation issue and his infidelity (yes from their chat, it was obvious they have had s#x before )as recently I treated vaginal itching.
When my parents in law invited us, they started blaming me over everything about their son from his not going to church to his(family)business not going well even saying if the law firm I am attached to is not paying, I should leave practice and go and sit down at the shop with him. They said so many things insinuating that I am not a virtuous woman and that I am planning to scatter their family all because I sometimes confide in my mom or that I don't submit my 30,000 Naira salary to hubby to add to his business. Father in law not for once did he berate my hubby for even considering going to book a hotel. (I have never denied hubby s#x for one day because I loved him, don't know for now cos I am pissed)
Hubby is saying unless I come and kneel down and apologize to him that he is not going to speak to me.
I am seriously tired of this marriage. hubby didn't deny having a relationship with this girl. He doesn't even care how I feel but he is busy gloating, saying since I have told his people, they should come and beat him na. So many things are wrong with the foundation of this marriage and I am honestly fed up because my parents in law have obviously picked sides.
My father in law, categorically told me that if I tell my mom anything again he will deal with me. But I open up to my mom to vent and avoid being depressed.
How do I handle this?
WOOOOOW.....you are in trouble with this one chance Marriage oh...How on earth would you agree to marry and live with your parents in law?
How do I handle this?
WOOOOOW.....you are in trouble with this one chance Marriage oh...How on earth would you agree to marry and live with your parents in law?
You have triple problems here...
You have to deal with your hubby negotiating for nacking and agreeing to pay....
You have to deal with the hubby and his unrepentant behaviour
You also have to deal with the kind of parents in law that you have....
I honestly do not know what to advice on all three but please if you keep treating vaginal infection,then you need to take a break from that marriage!!!
I think the marriage is over,they just want you to do the needful yourself,which is pack and leave...
ReplyDeleteSister you are married to yourself. Kindly pack out with your child or children and rent a room or go back to your mum. See finish as entered the marriage.
DeleteWell,just ignore that hudbhus of yours else you'll develop health issues because of loving too much..Focus on growing yourself and visit your parents place often and leave him to remain with his parents but do not stop cooking for him or doing your duty as a wife
DeleteYou are a lawyer for that matter.
DeleteAsk yourself, can you cope with his infidelity? Ask yourself, can they ever support you?
Why did he tell them about your salary? No secret. I guess you are Yoruba...
Only you knows what you want since you love him, if you can cope, keep treating STDs.
this Babe needs to leave that marriage with her dignity before she gets kicked out. From the looks of it he married her for the convenience of financial security. And he is using her money to toast the other lady who is his dream woman. Ladies pls avoid being placeholders or builder wives. It hardly pays
DeleteWomen stop marrying down
DeleteYou must have the same mentality, not building and the other person is a scatterer
A bad man plus a bad in-law is a recipe for disaster. You are still young, cut out now that you still have time. I am speaking from experience. My mum was in your shoes, long story short, she wasted her life and her talent. Dont waste your life and dont make the mistake of getting pregnant.
DeleteYou’ve said it all. Yorubas would say, oko buruku shey ni, but ano buruku o shey ni. Its one thing to marry a douchebag with good inlaws but to now marry a douchebag and have terrible inlaws is the absolute worst. It will only take the grace of God for such marriage to last. So many stories around like what poster has posted. May God help us.
DeleteCan you not call family meeting are you alone in the world? Why will you call a meeting and only his parents will be there? Who will fight for you?
DeleteWhat a marital burden.
ReplyDeleteCan u separate?
This means, if your husband suddenly gets rich, he will abandon you without thinking twice.
Sorry...about the infection he gave u, one of the perks of cheating in marriage.
To the left...to the left
ReplyDeletesisterly you have entered a one chance marriage ohhhhh. Hope you aren't thinking of getting pregnant yet (that's if you don't already have a child(ren), please don't oh).
DeleteYou better wake up and smell the coffee, its a new year, start thinking how to organise your life and insist on moving out of that family house if you have chosen to still stay married to them.
I wish you well ooo.
Stop complaining and start saving. 10k from 30k will be 120k by December. Rent one room!
ReplyDeleteFrom there you make further plans.
Stop bloating his ego. Deflate it by not sending him again.
The sex has happened. N.a. once e dey pain. Get over it and focus on your own happiness
It is not by force to be Mrs
Poster, how old are you first??? Let me start from there.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a child bride, no offence
@Aproko
DeleteYou have a way of dishing out insult and ending it with "no offence" 😁😁😁😁😁
Anon: 15:24, you're absolutely right about Aproko Queen
DeleteChild wetin bride? She's a full adult, a lawyer sef. (5yr course + strike + nysc). Was it not a doctor that was beaten to blood the other day? I don't think you know what the average Nigerian woman endures in marriage. Why won't they name their children Endurance?
DeleteA lawyer earning just 30k? The country is messed up 😱😱
DeletePlease can you separate from him for a while? You need your sanity back oo....and if there's no child yet maybe you can move on cos I am not understanding this your husband's family at all
ReplyDeleteNo religion supports the madness and caricature that Nigerians, Africans call marriage
DeleteBondage and slavery reconstructed to manage infidelity and the "gifts" attached to it
Breed children that women use to console themselves when the men become emotionally unavailable /neglectful and abusive
Judgement day will see many cases of derelict and ignorant men who chose to follow, their idea, culture, friends of marriage
The way forward in this marriage is to go backwards.
ReplyDeleteWhat you knew before marriage and what you did not know.
You knew this girl existed as your "husband's what?"
I will still talk about fasting/praying/Bible studies, that is a better way to "remain calm and not be depressed." And what else? The way to resolve this issue without you, making mistakes, regrettable mistakes. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
What a painful marriage you are in. Take a deep breathe and look at the advantage of leaving or staying. It is up to you.
ReplyDeleteYour happiness matters a lot. Good luck to you
Please,how do one send a chronicle to Stella,please can someone give me the email address to send it?thank you
DeletePlease,how do one send a chronicle to Stella,please can someone give me the email address to send it?thank you
DeleteSdimokokorkus@gmail.com
DeleteDo not let any man or woman destroy your self esteem and strip you of your dignity in the name of marriage.
ReplyDeleteDo not kneel to him to apologize for his misbehavior. That is putting the final nail on your coffin.
His family are very local and backward thinking. Same thing with him. My dear let me not lie you didn’t marry a good man at all. Na yeye husband be this.
I’ll advise you go and stay away from him and his family for a while. Use that time to clear your mind and think of what you want from life.
Poster you said the girl used to come to the family house?
ReplyDeleteI don’t know your location I would have advised you save and get accommodation so you guys can leave the family house because your in-laws might even be the brain behind the affair.
I advise you call him one on one and just apologize for peace sake then save to leave that house because living in a family house is a disaster.
apologise for giving u infection,apologise for cheating on you,apologise for not being man enough to cater for his home.Poster these are the type of people that live miserable lives in the name of mrs,do u know how crushed your esteem will be after apologising. I grew up with my mum always apologising for even being right. She ended up leaving afer the man showed her pepper,now his new wife,all the things he couldn't stand,he takes them double with his new spouse. Dont let any man treat u like some piece of shit. No money,yet he is having the ego of a rich man. Abegggg,dont beg any idiot
DeleteApologize for what exactly?
DeleteNo no no no!
DeleteWhat makes you think he won't bring the girl (or others) into their home after "she" gets a place and move them both out of the family house.
Also, advising her to apologize to him after all him and his parents are dishing her is like asking her to make herself a walkover carpet for them to do all they want with her
They asked for her hand in marriage I believe, what happen to keeping to the promise to take care of her when they went to pay her bride price?
I understand your advice is from a place of concern for her peace sake but trust me, if she takes such route, it'll only get worse in there.
She knows where the shoe hurts, she should rethink the "till death do us part" vows and ask herself if she'll condone this untill her last days which might be too soon (God forbid) if she insists on remaining a "MRS" to that he-goat of a HORSEBAND.
beezee live miserable you say? BACK TO SENDER!!!
DeletePoster biko I withdrew that apologize, take your stand but you need to plan on leaving that family ASAP
Low self esteem has killed Nigerian women. Apologize for fucking another woman and infecting her. Girl are you that ugly? A church rat is dehumanizing you like this. When he makes good money, he will send you to his quarters or gate man’s house, if not to the curb. Madam go and think of the way forward. That man is a bad husband. Them never born the man who will ask me to beg for cheating on me. Useless man.
DeleteTake a break from that marriage and home for now because if anything should happen to you,you don't have people to call your own o,if they can fight you for calling your MOM,then its time to have a break for sanity sake.
ReplyDeleteOn another thought, marriage matter person no dey put mouth if not,I don't think you should have consented to living with your in laws,I'd rather stay on the street than stay with in laws because if they love you initially, see finish go come enter to spoil matter.
You are wonderfully created by God ,you are unique and you are God Master piece,always remember that.But note this if you dont take a stand, you will continue to be disrespected,undervalued,being gaslighted ,emotionally blackmailed by your husband and his family.You really need to think about want you want ,what is best for you and take action to change your situation. Also do it as respectfully as you can. YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO ,DO IT
ReplyDeleteShe really needs to take a Stand.. If not this will continue! Face your fear, be bold enough..you know what you want!
DeleteAnd poster, don't let me hear that you apologized o.
The worst that will happen is disease, getting thrown out, she getting pregnant, she coming to the house and slapping
DeleteYou have gotten one
Gather courage
Lock up and take a stand
Oh my God....
ReplyDeleteSis, you need to get out of this situation quickly. This dude and his people no send you. They don't care about you at all. Trust me, they will go marry that girl behind you and set you up or blackmail you with one silly offense. They are just waiting for you to make a grave mistake. It's tough, but I think you should leave now, you will smile at the end of this year when you look back. Thinking of it, are you sure they have not married that babe. Talk to your people and if they don't see reasons with you, please just do what's best for you. Go, before it's too late. Wicked men and relatives. You have a job, you will be fine. No woman can enjoy been married to them, even if she's an angel.
Poster you live in a family house OMG OMG OMG
ReplyDeleteThat’s even your biggest problem
Anyone who cannot create a separate family home, is not ready to marry
DeleteLadies stop marrying based on idiotic reasons
Hmm Poster wetin be this hey!!! Why is this not turning out for the best...Madam abeg you need to be firm and be a strong woman and stop running to your mom all the time when you have issues..You need to think on your feet..Your husband has no remorse at all and has no iota of respect for you..This see finish is just too much..Please can't you separate from this man cause he has broken his vows left right and centre...Mehn you need to do something and leave that environment to clear your head!! Haaa me I tire for all these plenty wahala..I dunno what to say again sef..
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you, turn a blind eye on each and everyone of them and start taking care of yourself and child/children (if any). You already made the mistake. Save your money because one day, he will get an accommodation and move in with the other lady, leaving you stranded at the family house where they will mock you to depression. See it’s hard to turn a blind eye, yeah, but you have to do it. Remember you can’t kill yourself for someone else go sees you as an option. Stop carrying NaN on your head unless he is carrying you on his. This life ain’t that serious,HONESTLY. No let anyone mislead you with some archaic advice of our moms and what they did. Please stop flogging yourself,yeah, pick up yourself. Change your wardrobe (if you can), slap on makeup, start hanging out with your friends & take pictures. Be happy. No let any nincompo take away your happiness. Get ready for the unexpected so you don’t get taken by surprise when it happens. Stop bantering words with anyone. Do not reduce yourself to any regrettable situation. Respect everyone when it’s required and be on your lane also.
ReplyDeleteYou are alive and young. Let your hair down and breathe again. Finally, tell God to take away the pain and replace it with Joy, happiness and prosperity.
You are beautiful.
You are smart.
Your intelligent.
His Grace is sufficient upon you. No one can take that away. Remember who’s daughter you are and hold your head up high. Love you 😘.
You forget that she can’t be herself in the family house because they will cut her to size once they see she’s beginning to get herself together. In fact, they will start accusing her of sleeping with her boss and other men and say that’s the reason for her new found love of make up and confidence.
DeleteThe truth is she needs to leave that environment if she wants to be happy.
Thank you anon 18.00,you get am.she is in the family house and with her parents in law,she dare not try any of those things there or she will fall out more with them
DeleteHmm.... I don't even know where to start from. I don't want to sound like a prophet of doom but from all indications, this marriage looks headed for the rocks.
ReplyDeleteI didn't see you mention anywhere that you have kids together already. How old is this marriage? It's actually easier to walk away when domestic violence is involved and there are no kids yet.
People should learn. Don't marry someone who's not financially ready. He does not even have his own apartment and you're staying with your in-laws. Oh dear, that's the height.
The guy's parents will always support their own because he'll give them his own version of the story.
At this point, you need God's wisdom and guidance.
I wish you the very best as you make up your mind on how to handle things from here.
I quite empathize with you lady.
ReplyDeleteTake a cue from the lady that wrote in a few weeks ago. She fasted and did midnight prayers; not against the woman, but for her husband. and did she win? yes, and her marriage was restored.
Please do note that a lot of single ladies are so desperately desperate to be married that they diabolically keep a lot of married men in bondage. Woe betide that man if no one is interceding for him.
I have a cousin, an engineering graduate who was doing quite well in his electronics import business until he met this lady. He sold that business and handed the money over to the lady. He cut off every family relations for years and began driving transport buses. For years, he kept handing over every dime to this lady. We did not give up in praying for him.
Yes, he came back but with nothing. He lost more than a decade of his life. Was like a man released from jail and indeed, he had been in jail; jailed by a greedy and evil woman.
It is one of the tragedies of not knowing Jesus as Savior. 😙😙😙
Your head is not correct and im not sorry about it
DeleteWhen a man commits adultery, it is termed spiritual attack from the Lady he is cheating with. Please use this same energy when a woman cheats on her husband because you are quick to call the woman a prostitute. So you are advising this woman to pray and fast for a wandering Prick even after infecting her? Nawa o. Women have suffered in this country. You will never tell a man to fast and pray for his cheating wife.
DeleteU mind them? A man chooses to be with another woman, they'll say it's jazz. Continue deceiving yourselves. Na only man jazz dey catch
DeleteIs the man a tata that he cannot fast and pray to keep his prick in his pants?
DeleteUs head street dog that after marrying he goes about sleeping with anything that has a hole?
Has he no self respect and decency to desecrate his marital vows without an iota of shame.
Is he a bastard dog?
Why is the woman asked to kneel?
Kneel before a fool?
Kneel for what?
Abeg geddifok with this bastard ideology.
Thst is why so many Nigerian woman are in a lifetime of bondage with stupendously useless men.
Kneel na.. go ahead.
Is you are looking forward to treating HIV abi?
If you were my sister, I would slap you into next week with your kneeling.
Which single ladies putting who in bondage? Y'alls men are in bondage to their own lustful and selfish desires. Your men are desperate to have the side chics and single ladies. Just imagine the man in this story telling his wife to apologize when he's the one committing adultery. Pls the brunt of the guilt is for the men.
DeleteNib
DeleteEntitled vultures who cannot feel empathy,shame, self respect, who do not fear GOD, led by their lusts and filthy lifestyle
Fetosbabe, God bless you o jare. When the man misbehaves, he was charmed or is in bondage but when it is a woman, she is a whore, she is greedy etc.
DeleteDo we then say the lady trending was charmed by her boss to birth those kids?
When we see wrong, let us condemn it in its entirety.If he the poster's husband was charmed, were his parents charmed too?
Pls tell..How does this advice relate to the poster's chronicle
DeleteYou have so under valued yourself. That man and his family do not respect you. Leave Biko. Why do you have to deal with an unremorseful broke cheat
ReplyDeleteThey do not rate her one bit!!
DeleteYou self.. Marry man wey still dey him parents house.
ReplyDeleteMadam desperate to marry.. U don see am now
It's one thing to be desperate, it's another thing to believe in your man that things will take a positive turn while standing by him in the process. Blaming her won't change anything.
DeleteThe marriage is dead already.. wtf!!... u are a slave not a wife.... I know u won’t leave... probably one of those who flaunt wedding ring/ “mrs title”... una plenty for Naija.... “mrs endurance “
ReplyDeleteYou opened eye and married into family house, with a man struggling financially and now you’re crying.
ReplyDeleteWhen people advise you women you’ll be forming the most virtuous women.
Now you’re asking if you should go on your knees and apologize to your cheating husband who has no remorse for what he did, and he has most likely become emboldened.
Carry your cross madam, you’re an adult. Learn to make your own decisions so that you can’t stand by them if anything happens.
Hmmm if i were you i would find a way to leave this so called marriage. You made a mistake in marrying this 'man'. He is broke, cheating, still living with his parents...what is actually good about him?. Instead of him to be looking for how to progress in life, he is using his mental energy and finances to be cheating.
ReplyDeleteIf you do nothing else DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH THIS MAN!. if i were you i would get some fool proof birth control AND also no sex with out condom!. Dont get pregnant in the hopes that "maybe he will change" when he has a child. If you do sorry will be your name. A word is enough for the wise.
focus on your career and let the marriage come to a natural end.
That your hubby is mad, kneel down ke? You should start planning your exit now, even if it's just separation for a start and focus on your job.
ReplyDeleteI wish she'd leave but knowing Nigerian women,they will rather die there. Its on this same blog that we are reading of a wonan whose husband has practically moved in with another woman and even has to speak on phone to the woman and be nice to her.hmm some women are trying.The earlier you leave madam,the better for you,because its only going downhill from here. Good luck to you. I hope you do the right thing. Love yourself,value yourself and know that you deserve much better
ReplyDeleteNot all Nigerian women are desperate!
DeleteDont leave yet Ma'am it's not a hopeless situation Take the advice from white enchantress and see things turn around for your good
ReplyDeletePoster, you're married but that man is notnyour husband. Please go and face God, he will reveal to you that you made a mistake and allow you to free yourself
ReplyDelete💯
DeleteWelcome to Nigerian marriage..blame the woman for the son you did not raise well.
ReplyDeleteBecause they expect that we women are beasts of burden to take any amount of emotional torture and just carry it with our mouths shut and a smile on our faces. Man, I would put some itch powder in all his underwear and put hair removal cream in his shampoo on the day I leave that place. Don't fck with my health on your quest to doing your dirty deeds. Fck him and the buttholes who raised him.
DeleteI cannot believe she is even writing in like she doesn't already know the marriage is dead on arrival. I would bet my bottom dollar that the poster suffers from low self-esteem and has never known good care or good treatment from a man so she thought this was heaven. Poster, please address your self-esteem and self-worth issues. Even with a solid education sometimes there are challenges in the spirit. If you have to beg a man to treat you right something is wrong. Lady, know yourself and know that you ARE enough. You complete yourself and you do not need a man to validate your existence. Go your way and forgiveness doesn't mean you have to return, you can still forgive him and move on with your life.
Nicely said honestly! Women are not rehabilitation centers!
DeletePlease dear don't say anything to him again. Behave as if nothing happened if possible apologize to him so that he will not no your next plan.
ReplyDeleteAnd what is the next plan
Leaving the house for him with your child(ren).
Rent a place or if possible move to your mum house.
I see some comments and I just laugh. Nigerian women really love to suffer just to bear Mrs.
ReplyDeleteIf I say one of the things women should look out for before marriage is to ensure the man they are marrying is financially capable, you all will call me "gold digger". Continue giving ladies wrong advice, stories such as the poster's will not end.
Poster, with all due respect, you're married to yourself. I think I remember your first chronicle. You married a jobless man and are living with him under his parents' roof and you expected them to support you? Did you say the lady is known to the family and belongs to the same socio economic group (I'm guessing it's your polite way of saying the same tribe/village or family friend)? Sorry, the family are in support for your husband's behavior. They are in the know.
Even if you should save money and rent a place, do you think your problems would be over? I laugh in Spanish. Your husband will continue his cheating and his family will continue to support him. In fact, you will have saved him the money he would have used for a hotel room. By the way, you will continue to pay the rent. He would never pay it. In fact, he will bring the other woman to the house to sleep with her when you're not around and even lock you/kick you out of the house sef.
For you not to have mentioned children means no child has come into the union. I sincerely advise that you leave with the rest of your dignity intact, with or without children. Stop deceiving yourself with all these "put it in prayer". That's what older women from our mothers' generation used to deceive themselves into remaining in miserable marriages, consoling themselves that the other women are using jazz. They waste their years praying for men who didn't pray for them one day, waiting for the men to notice and reward their loyalty. 99% of them never reached their realization. Seriously, pray for a man who deliberately breaks his vows with no remorse? He doesn't love you o. Nne, you are deceiving yourself.
Those of you who are still single, please open your eyes o. There's something worse than being single when you want to be married and that is being in a miserable marriage.
You have said it all o. I really hope the poster listens. She is so well spoken. She sounds properly educated.
DeletePoster please dont let this be your life. Leave this dead end horrible "marriage". It is better to be single than in such terrible bondage!.
It is important to marry somebody who is financially ready to be married!. Poor men are NO better than rich!
17:15 your last line is gold. Pure Gold.
Delete'Goan marry!!' 'Goan marry!!' They keep shouting. So many of you are beyond miserable. Flaunting rings and dying in bondage inside.
You couldn’t have said it better. Singles, pls listen oooo!
DeleteKinda sounds like my marriage. From my own experience it never gets better. Just threw out my husband after 22 years and girl I can tell u I’ve never known such peace.
ReplyDeleteImagine if you had done it sooner. A whole 22 years??? My goodness una self esteem and self worth low ooo.
DeleteI don't advice married peeps. But for the single, please watch out for kindness in a spouse. Kindness of both the man and his family. If they are wicked to you, please run. Even if man is kind and family wicked, still be cautious. Family has great influence in a society like ours. If there's no Kindness, regard and respect, step carefully...
ReplyDeleteYou have said it all. Kindness is so so vital! Imagine marrying someone who is so unkind to people on the outside and you expect them to treat you any differently. Wont work. Family nko, if those ones too are not kind and you managed to marry a kind man, las las, they will still influence him negatively except God is in it with you and really backs you up.
DeleteYou married a child....not a man.
ReplyDeleteImagine your father in law threatening to deal with you for calling your own mother!!!
Leave...
Why marry and move in with in laws. Pls focus on yourself and start saving to get a place of your own, that marriage is dead and its obvious your in laws support the lady's relationship with yoir husband. Do you have a child yet?
ReplyDeleteMy candid advice is for you to pack up and leave that toxic marriage.
ReplyDeleteHe is not worth losing your self worth for.
This life is too short to allow another being determine how happy you can be
Have you done a HIV test?
ReplyDeleteFind deep within you, your value, your worth and find the strength to leave that man and his family.
Please don’t send a third chronicle saying they threw you out. Get yourself out before they do.
Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.....marriage...marriage...marriage....where is thy wrath....?
ReplyDeleteHave you considered leaving him for a while? In his head, you ain't worth a dime and if you don't stand your ground...it would corrode with time.
Please, think about it and act fast. May God Almighty help you.
E-hugs.
This is why I cannot stand the selfishness of men. This dude knew he had a thing for that woman, then why the hell involve you and not just go ahead and marry her, since they are from the same economic and social group and have a history. I cannot believe someone would knowingly get married to a person they deep down do not truly love or desire. And we women need to know our worth, too many of us see the fckry and blatant disrespect staring us in the face and choose to ignore it because a wedding band is involved. The moment one person steps out of the marriage to sleep with another a spiritual divorce has taken place. Yes, cheating is an act of divorce spiritually! And a man going as far as sharing his body and not even caring to protect your health says everything.
ReplyDeletePoster, I beg you lease a brain if you don't have one already. Get the hell up out of that hell hole and demonic household and go find some place of your own where you can be at peace. Yes, separate yourself from this mess. Your vag was itching, lord knows what you caught, and it is obvious the girl will sell her kitty to the highest bidder. Go get tested asap, make sure they do a chlamydia test because that shows no symptoms and can affect your fertility. GET OUT OF BABYLON and don't look back.
Well said.
Delete@ poster HIV is real, it is time to be selfish about your life and happiness.
Leave that house and do not look back. To think his parents are also as pathetic as him!!! A jobless shameless man that still has the guts to cheat and is not remorseful.
You made a mistake, don't be ashamed to retrace your steps.
All the best.
She will never leave the marriage.
ReplyDelete