Na wah.......
LONELY AND HEARTBROKEN
I don't know how to describe what I am feeling, I met this guy via one of the social media platforms and we struck up friendship, he asked me out for about 4 years but I refused because as at then i wasn't interested in dating and moreso, as at that then we hadn't seen in physical.
Then in 2015, I thought why not and gave in to his advances.it was first wonderful then he started keeping malice over trivial issues, he had issues getting a job.
I kept praying and fasting for him.;there were few times he did thoughtful things for me and I held on to that when the issues came, a lot of people advised I kept a separate relationship here but i didn't because i felt it wasn't an honourable thing to do.he came down in 2018 and we met for the first time, he met my folks i caught him cheating afterwards and saw several negative things .
He apologized and kept reassuring me to hang on for him but i held on for God knows what, each time we had issues i kept myself at his mercy by apologising even when he was wrong, he took me through the mud and back but i don't know why i held on because it's not as if i was getting anything special from him and i even bought and sent him things at his base, he took loans from me and didn't repay but yet i held on maybe because i was scared of starting over with someone else.
Long and short of it is that we had a minor disagreement, he blocked me off all platforms based on that.i found out he did that because he is getting married to another.
My job at the moment is not stable as a result of the pandemic , just trying to start a business from the scratch so which doesn't give me the room to entertain distraction.
I find myself sad most of the time, wishing I could change the hands of time although I have learnt my lessons but I need to make new friends both Male and female to distract me as i don't have friends around or distraction to prevent me from hurting .......
HUH?What exactly broke your heart?He didn't promise you anything and you settled for less even when you saw the signs,you said you held on for God.
Why are you lonely?you have only seen him once in all the times you mentioned.my dear please up yourself from the ground and move on...You were not in a relationship but you failed to see it....ah ah...
Only you was buying things to send to him,lending him money and saying sorry when he was wrong......WHAT NONSENSE!!!.
please shine your eyes,i am so upset...
You dont need friends,you need to work on your state of mind and self confidence,learn to love yourself more than anyone or anything else and then you can think of making friends...
Never ignore the signs. You desperately wanted that relationship and he knew that. Why say sorry when you aren't wrong. Pick yourself and move on. And please, don't jump into another relationship. Heal first
ReplyDeletePoster so sorry for what you’re going through. Be strong and this too shall pass
ReplyDeleteLas las you go happy the situationship kpafuka
Fan, call chioma na. Why you run away when we need you most. You no sabi pray. See as enemies scatter your ogo for you. Ndo oo
DeleteI am praying for them, that is the best fight.
DeleteShit happens and life goes on. It will make u stronger and one day u will look back and marvel at how heartbroken u were. Good luck dear.
DeleteI feel your pain dear and how disappointed you feel.
ReplyDeleteDon't let this weigh you down. It has happened and you can't turn back the hands of the clock.
Occupy yourself with things that keep you entertained, for me they are books and movies.
May God ease your pain by giving you the strength to press on.
Stella has said it all. Work on yourself because he didn't promise you anything.
DeleteIt is well with you poster. Start reading and commenting on Stella blog. Self-love is all you need for now.
ReplyDeleteTrue word
DeletePoster lick your wound & move on.
ReplyDeleteYou were vulnerable and patient and he took advantage of that, now it's time to cut your losses and move on.
ReplyDeleteDwelling in the past will neither solve nor change anything so stop feeling sorry for yourself. The distraction you need is to focus on your self growth just like Stella said.
You will find love again and by then, you will be ready to be loved correctly. Keep yo head up, sis.
Thanks
DeleteNothing to say here. Poster must have advised people on this same issue but won't advise herself. The saying if you're involved, you'll be the last to know is true. You knew the relationship was not standing right from inception but you hung on. Good you're free now. Your man will come. Just hang on.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes.
Poster doesn’t love nor pamper herself. See how you just cheapened your self before that ingrate of a man. He knows you’re desperate and used it against you.
ReplyDeleteJust take a hold of yourself, love and treat yourself special, trust me, a better man that will treat you like a queen you are will definitely come for you. Thanks
God will heal tou so fast, you can distract yourself by writing out everything he has done wrong to you always.
ReplyDeleteState the wrong things he did to you, each time you his tot get to your head just bring out the list of things you hate about about him and meditate on it. From there you will be alright.
She doesn't need to meditate on the hate.
DeleteHow can she heal from that?
She needs to move on from everything if she still wishes to happy again.
Else she'll just transfer aggression on the next available person/suitor.
SDK has it all.
ReplyDeleteYou need to find closure from that situationship.
You need time to heal.
You need to love and respect yourself.
I'm glad to hear you've started a business that will be successful.
I know that jackass will come back bcos be believes he has you in his porn, if and when he does, DO NOT PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM.
Stand your ground and continue to move on and away from him.
I know you can do it. The mistake has been made. Stop beating yourself up about it.
You needed the experience. Now that you've gotten one, let it groom you to be wiser and smarter.
Please be happy. You deserve nothing more than happiness and a peaceful life.
Good friends will come around but you need to be in the right frame of mind to get one else it's all going to be a sham.
You are talking to yourself cos the mini will go back when he comes to beg. Nonsense and ingredients
DeleteThe signs were there from the start.. my dear good riddance to the bad rubbish o.
ReplyDeleteRED SIGN a malicious person is a no no..Go and read the book Colossians where it was instructed we must do away with Malice, anger and rage...Thank God that you dodged a AK 47 bullet or magazine..Stop crying and build up your self esteem...How can you be fasting for someone to change? Are you serious or you want to become the Holy Spirit...People choose to change so stop waiting for an aeroplane at Apapa Wharf; it will never ever land...A toxic person is who you are troubling and stopping your own happiness for...I will never understand how you will allow someone to have so much power over you..Be happy he is gone...All the best
ReplyDeleteA lot of female BVs are on this table. Holding unto a situationship that is going nowhere, hoping that things will get brighter. Stella don advice taya but they wont listen. They forget to smell the coffee earlier and dodge the bullets that will come thereafter.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone, your comments are soul lifting.wish I wasn't as simple minded as I was then.I am a research student in one of the federal universities, I will occupy my mind with my research work and my business
ReplyDeleteMay God help you Amen. Just be strong and move ahead.
Delete1. Never borrow money you cannot dash, should the person defaults.
Delete2. Pamper yourself self with your hard earned money (take yourself out on a date, vacation, spa, massage etc.)
3. Normalise luxury in your life.
4. Be kind to yourself, always
Stay strong sis. Glad you have resolved to move on. Just focus on the positives and be happy.
DeleteThe things I read here aren't adding up.
ReplyDeleteBecause this dude did not promise you marriage.
Except you gave him sex and you are not telling us.
That is the only thing I know that can make a girl
behave as depressed as you are doing. Learn and do not
go such route again. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I was just a girl towing my path in life when we started dating, he was being disappointed at the edge of breakthroughs, couldn't afford rent all at age 32.I pitied him more because his mum is late and he is from a polygamous home.I went high and low, prayed and fasted for his breakthroughs, contacted pastors who initially said he was good for me and much later warned me to back off his case so that he doesn't rub his misfortune on me and more so he is spiritually fragile and will end up disappointing me.took that with a pinch of salt and felt all will be well if I continued to pray for him and he on the other kept reassuring me he wasn't going to disappoint me and even when he got a job after almost 3 years , he was still reiterating the fact that he wasn't going to disappoint me but the way he liked keeping malice was an issue that kept bugging me.at some point he paid me 3 times of my salary when I was cheated of my pay at work and was telling me all the while he was ready to go high and low to make me happy and he even apologized to me for all he did to me.but what is ahead of me is greater, I have learnt my lessons
Delete@Poster,
DeleteYOU see how you tactfully and expertly dodged the question;
"You gave him sex?" You are only telling us what he gave you;
three months salary, what did he collect? Your emotional downturn is
tied to what you gave; period!
Stop all these "consulting pastors," and consult Jesus in repentance
and studying his teachings. That is where you'd find peace. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Anon 20:21 Is everything Ok? What is this crazy obsession with someone else sex life! Sex is sex goddammit! What bloody hell! You think she is hurt because of the sex? Then you have no idea how it works. Enough with those sexist theory of how women get emotionally attached after sex. Pray you don’t meet those that won’t even pick your call.
DeleteHe promised marriage and kept calling my folks, even when he couldn't come over to see me because he was out of job as at then he sent friends to check on me.his friend kept hammering on the fact that I shouldn't disappoint him.I held on to all of that.there were signs mid way but I kept hanging on for God knows what.I had well mannered suitors with good jobs back here but I didn't want to disappoint him so it won't look like it's because he was still staggering financially and no it's not because he is based overseas.My parents are comfortable and I am making my own private plans to relocate.this is someone that kept telling me how proud he is of my accomplishments at my young age but there is no need crying over what's gone.
ReplyDeleteTrue no need crying over soured milk. It is well with you..
DeleteLovelace
True no need crying over soured milk. It is well with you..
DeleteLovelace
Sincerely poster,you are too good for him. This guy would have wrecked you if you guys continued with the situationship.
DeleteI know how you feel because I have also sacrificed a lot and believed so much in a guy who greatly disappointed me. I am now happily married to someone else. So look at this as a learning curve. Please take a little time off to heal but never be afraid to fall in love again when you meet a more deserving guy. I wish you well.
DeleteHmmm. A guy contacted me from S&M and we connected, he was different from the others, no sex chat, he was good with words, he was Mr. perfect with no flaws by what he says which was too good to be true to me.
ReplyDeleteHe called me one day that he would be travelling and also to inform me that there is no network coverage in his villa which means we would have a reduced communication which was not an issue until he got there and went awol on me, when I call he won't pick neither would he return the call or when he eventually does he would sound like someone who is sneaking to talk, it was still early then, so I did myself the favour of blocking his line. He called back a week plus later with stories that touches the heart, so I let go and continued communication with him which led to me catching feelings. My instinct told me he wasn't truthful with me which started to unravel but my feelings wouldn't let go, I just told myself I've had enough and told him not to bother contacting me again because I can't be having unnecessary emotional breakdown which he obliged and I have moved on.
The only reason why you'll be feeling this way is if you have given him your cookie jar.
It hurts but do yourself the favor of moving on, save yourself the stress of emotional breakdown it's not worth it.
Hmm
Deleteposter it's time to boss up fix ur credit and leave unnecessary drama, the moment a guy senses that you don't have self love and you will choose him over yourself some tend to use that against u. start ur business and make yourself proud your man will come
ReplyDeleteLadies,let's learn to love ourselves first and never ever ignore the signs.
ReplyDeleteNEVER!!!!!