STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FORMER ATHEIST FINDS GOD AGAIN AND RANTS
In the past days I suddenly lost faith in God. It was a gradual thing. I had always had doubt but lately I began following atheist pages, reading atheist articles etc and I concluded that indeed there was no proof that God exist. Few days later I had a misunderstanding with my man and he stopped replying my messages or picking my calls. I felt so bad.
We have had our misunderstandings before but this time it was serious. I would text him, he won't read for a week and then read it but not reply. I was slowly falling into depression and in my misery I told myself that I was feeling so bad because usually my faith in God would give me hope and I would have strength in knowing that God would make everything work together for my good but now as an atheist I had nothing to hope in, nothing to comfort me so I remember how many times I was saved miraculously from dangerous situations, how many times a way was made for me when there was no way and I realized that it could only be God.
Mind you I don't believe in the God of the bible meaning I think that humans with no education, filled with superstition and living in a patriarchal society wrote the bible and many were not inspired by God at all. I also believe that some writers and prophets had underlying mental issues but I believe that there is a God that loves me and is always there to protect me, make a way for me and avenge me.
Anyway after I regained my faith in God I started feeling better. I started distracting myself by talking with my friends and I came up with the idea to open a blog since I love writing and discussing my opinion. I also planned to start to look for a part time job once they lift the lockdown and in September I'll start my online course in accountancy so that I can get my diploma by next year.
All these changes happened because I had something to hope for and believe in again. I also called my man and tried to resolve the issue between us, he told me that his problem was that whenever we argue I bring up the past and everything I feel like he did to me so he avoids to read my messages or pick my calls because he doesn't want to get upset. He thinks that since I'm full of resentment I may end up hurting him in some kind of way. I told him I won't bring up the past again and I did so because he never apologized to me for some things that happened some years ago. Anyways I told him that I know it will take time but I want to make our relationship work. He is still clearly upset but I will give him time.
This is not the first time we are having an issue and it won't be the last but I believe that the love he has for me will always bring him back to me just like it has been happening in the past. Most importantly I have faith in God. I know that he will heal our relationship and restore it.🙏 End of rant🙃
*You know that the love he has for you will always bring him back to you?WOW,you seem to have taken that love for granted.....You seem really messed up,maybe you should not date for a while and try to find yourself first otherwise you will keep those who love you.....
I once read where Stella wrote that it's problems that brings us back to God or we only remember God when we have problems...tor
ReplyDeleteYou now spoilt the whole gist with the 3rd paragraph!
DeleteAnonymous 15:42.
DeleteDo you know what a paragraph is??
Anon 15:42,do you? Coz if you do, you won't display so much ignorance with that kinda boldness.
DeleteThank God for his mercies
ReplyDeleteParagraph 3 sounds like what I would write.
DeleteMeanwhile, so the only thing that has brought you back to God is "man"(relationship wahala)? You are messed up a little.
Abeg I nor fit type, if not I would have given you many prof of God far from what religion/bible discribed.
how can one identify emotionally/spiritually damaged people like this to avoid getting tangled up with them?
ReplyDeleteBikonu!!! How do I unread that some of the prophets that wrote the Bible had underlying mental illness!!! My dear go and believe in whatever you want but please Accord the Bible the respect it deserves!! Watch what you say to avoid putting yourself in a terrible spot. For you to have the audacity to voice that line out shows that you lack absolute respect for God. Say God is love no mean say he's not a consuming fire!!
DeleteYou don't know how the Bible was written so please keep those nasty thoughts to yourself!!! Don't come here to corrupt people's hearts with such thoughts abeg!! May you have the fear of God in Jesus name Amen.
The Bible of course was written by men, it didn't fall from heaven, albeit as inspired by the Spirit of God, now how those men interpreted what was revealed to them continues to be a matter for debate..
DeleteWell poster is an example. If that person doesn’t forgive after talking about the issues or apologizing and continues to bring up the past or wants a revenge all the time, that’s not an emotionally stable person! Love forgives, love is patient, etc... just use that Bible passage as a template in your relationship. It’s hard but real love will forgive.
DeleteWow,anonymous16:18 I love ur post. Love it when you wrote 'Say God is love no mean say he's not a consuming fire!!', thank you for schooling this ignorant child.
DeleteI wish i knew you bf, so i can beg him to run for his life.
ReplyDeleteYou are sick in the head!
Fair weather Christian. You only know God when ure going through bad times. When things are smooth you lean towards atheism. You were never an atheist.... you just had doubts in the existence of God.
ReplyDeleteSame with your relationships, when the bad times comes, you dont give up entirely
How can you call this one a Christian when she does not believe the manual of christianity which is the BIBLE and the word of God. This on need the help of a psychiatrist fast before she enter market naked
DeleteYou don't believe in the God of the bible but you believe in God. Which other God is there? I see... the 'feminist' theory of biblical patriarchy. Even the muslims believe in the God of the bible....
ReplyDeleteYou need to work on your relationship with the God of the bible, work on yourself (you're on the right path with that) and work on your relationship with your man. You need to also make a conscious effort to stop making the relationship environment toxic. Forgive, let go and let God!
PS: The God of the bible is the only God there is. Life is meaningless without God, without God life is meaningless. Read that again.
Thank you @minrex. Please tell her
DeleteHugs to you Minirex. She’s really confused.
DeleteYou need to see a psychiatric doctor.
ReplyDeleteAunty you need help. Na man matter make you remember say God exist. Just read your third paragraph again. So those atheist books you were reading could not give you the needed help you were seeking for. Only for you to run down a book (BIBLE) that have seen the sands of time and the prerequisite of so many books on earth.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're not the poster from yesterday. This one you want to open blog count me out, ain't gonna visit. Some people be running amok.
Lovelace
She is the same poster
DeleteI had same thought oh, she might be tje one 😅
DeleteI dont comment on chronicles please take this seriously. SEEK HELP FAST. YOU NEED THERAPY AND ALSO AVOID ANY FORM OF RELATIONSHIP FOR NOW. I dont care about your beliefs you would be fine. Just take care of your mental health first.
ReplyDeleteThis seem like same poster from the last Chronicle. I advice you see a psychiatrist!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it mostly women that post Chronicles about men always? Does your lives evolve around men only? Why not explore other areas of your life and be useful to yourself and the people around you. There is so much peace when you find out there is more to this life than sex relations
ReplyDeleteBut to be fair those are the most interesting chronicles lol. I believe that women innately desire men while men desire success. Bagging a man is still a life priority for most women, especially in this part of the world. Losing a man is still used to shame women, even on this blog. Go to a bookstore or amazon, check and see that relationship and marriage books written for women outsale those for men. Women are more likely to pray for their future husband and write letters to him. Men don't do that. Even in churches, most of them have relationship ministry cos it is a hotcake. Relationship youtube also makes plenty views. Na so e be.
DeleteThat blog of yours would cause a lot of people depression/madness
ReplyDeleteSince the people that wrote the bible were 'illiterates' how come you the literate can't fix your life by yourself and looking for a god somewhere to fix it for you?
ReplyDeleteI think we should all encourage her for even coming back to knowing that indeed there is a God. Instead of bashing her, why don’t we rejoice with her 1st. The lost sheep that was in the bible, did God care if the sheep had cuts or had fallen inside the mud?immediately he found his sheep, he put the sheep on his neck bcos he knows that when he gets home, he will clean her up. If you are a true believer, you will rejoice knowing that someone is finding her way back gradually. Pls let me careful not to drive people away with our unkind words all in the name of trying to make the person see relevance in scriptures. Allow the spirit of God do that. Let us learn to love one another. Always ask what will Jesus do? Poster it’s ok to feel the way you feel. But now that your faith is helping you, keep on praying and try to read a verse from the bible. Even if it does not make sense, that’s ok just keep at it. May the good Lord heal and bless you.
ReplyDeleteYou need help. Please seek help fast. It's very very important.
ReplyDeleteWhat's our offence on this blog my brethren? Yesterday, it was a lunatic that wrote in. I restrained myself from telling her my mind. Today, we have another nutcase. How did you guys get to know about this blog biko? This blog is for sane minds not ndi ara. I had to question my sanity for the second day.
ReplyDeleteMadam check into a shrink home ASAP.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂😂😂😂😂 it's really tiring 🥱
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 well said 👏
DeleteKai this comment cracked me up !! E reach to lament Ceasar .
DeleteYou don't believe in the God of the Bible so which god do you believe in? You must at least know who or what you serve. You must belong somewhere. Anyway, good luck with the situation you've put yourself in. May the force/entity/thing you serve be with you o.
ReplyDelete🤣😂🤣 ezigbote may the force/entity/ thing you serve be with you .
DeleteSdk your bvs ehn they can cure sadness with their comments
Poster, I don't think you're asking for any advice here. You have a well laid out plan already so kudos on whatever you decide.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you sound very boastful and condescending in your write-up. As a matter of fact, you sound like an emotional rollercoaster/asshole.
Please keep us updated again in September. I'm curious to know this will end
Please leave that situation!!! That relationship will mess you up, your boyfriend is emotionally unavailable and that is driving you crazy he is gaslighting you and when you react he looks like you have mental issues please break up from him. It's not going to change or get better see how everyone is saying you should go see a shrink cause you are so messed up now. Quit that relationship it's not good for your health that guy is toxic.
ReplyDeleteYou are your problem and you need to seek help or help yourself. You keep grudges and hold on to previous of fences. Believe no one wants that. Now u are still waiting to remind him of one apology he is owing you. Don't be too sure of him always returning. So DAT the day he moves on, you wont try to kill him. As for you being an atheist or a believer, hurry up and make up your mind
ReplyDeleteLet see if Stella will post.
ReplyDeletePoster you are not alone. There is a growing population of Nigerian Christians whose understanding of God have evolved. Congrats on you new found knowledge. One word of advise if I may, kindly avoid discussing your take with people who are not of like mind. Your take and stance threatens the very core of many peoples understanding and belief systems. How they have lived their lives till now and how they interact with the world and society. Not everyone will get where you are and that is fine. Enjoy your new found peace with God; it is precious, cherish it....
And congratulations, devils is really do his job in y’all’s lives. I pity you folks that feel like just because you’ve travelled out or are open minded or overly educated, you now have a different view on Christianity, God and the Bible. Anyway, during last days a lot of the false teachings will spring up and devil will do anything and everything to confuse people. Those who are grounded in the word of God won’t be moved! So yea stick to your own knowledge and understanding on how you feel the Bible is written/Christianity and let us stick to what we know best which is the Bible. People please READ your Bible so that anyone won’t confuse you.
DeleteNobody is trying to confuse anyone dear. I asked the poster not to discuss with anyone. Even Paul understand that one’s understanding must evolve. When he was a child he thought as a child.... Faith is very personal. Remember Jesus gave us the rule to live by- do unto others as you want to be done unto you. I don’t judge what you believe just as I don’t expect you to judge mine. Peace and love....
DeleteAnnon 19:17, why are you threatened? Pls leave abroad of education out of your mouth. Typical self righteous Nigerians. Yet the bible tells you not to throw stones. Leave them alone. Be bothered about your own righteousness.
DeleteShe doesn't sound like she has found peace though.....
DeleteThank God you found him(God)but u need serious help ASAP
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the issue of faith, a lot of persons don't know their left from their right. The sad part is that they don't know that they are ignorant.
ReplyDelete👌👌👌
DeleteSame poster from yesterday’s Chronicle. Seek help my dear. You’re really really messed up. Leave this young man alone. End this relationship and work seriously on your deep rooted issues. You’ll continue to have the same problem in a new relationship. I believe in talking about the past and apologizing and moving on from that issue. If you can’t do that then you have no business getting into a new relationship!
ReplyDeleteThe level of judgment is a bit much. Everybody has their own character struggles in life and for many multiple characters flaws. Because yours may not be like the poster's does not mean you are superior or lacking your own wearisome flaws.
ReplyDeletePoster, being completely honest is the first step towards change. Yes, there are things you need to work on to allow you to grow in character and spirit. Perhaps you may have picked up some of this passive aggressive tendencies from how you saw disagreements were settled in the home you grew up in. Unfortunately, we are products of our households and even the negative aspects of our parents live in many of us, it takes continued and dedicated work to change. Do not give up!
You will never know the beauty of the light until you live in the darkness. Your ventures into atheist beluefs is what taught you that it was an empty place. Now, you appreciate having a relationship with God more than you ever had. Paul was deeply anti Christian for years, many Christians died at his hands, yet you will not find a Christian church today that does not use his work. The mysteries of the world are available to those who humbly seek it, but very few can handle all that God is. God will teach you the truth of the writers of the Bible, but you have to be ready to handle it because it may be even wilder than you first thought.
Good luck on your journey. I hope you succeed in overcoming the character struggles you're dealing with. I hope you triumph in all areas of your life. Perfection is an illusion, but we can do the work to come as close as we can get.