Hmmmmm......
CONFUSED...
I met a guy a while ago, let's say he's Tee and we clicked. Tee just clocked 30 but yet to figure out his life. His family are just using him anyhow like their errand boy.
Tee can be called at anytime of the day or night to run some errands(I've witnessed) even as they have househelps, cooks and securities. His sister can drive well but will always call him to drive her to wherever she wants to go.
The worst part is that they won't send him everything at once, he can go to a particular store 5 times in an hour. It's bad to the extent that he will invite me out but leave me standing just cos his mom or sister wants him to help get this or that. I don't want it to look like I'm trying to put asunder between him and his family so I didn't talk about it feeling that he would adjust on his own but it wasn't getting any better.
We might be discussing an important issue on phone and then he would be called and that is it. I would complain of him hardly calling and he would apologize and beg that he'll change but no.
The truth is that I really love him and I've grown to be fond of him. He studied abroad but doesn't have any money of his own as he's still living with his family and not doing anything at all(I might be stupid right?) but I believe he will grow up with time. I do help him with cash too. I decided to take a break and then I gave another person (call him Ray) a chance. Ray works and have his own money(I will say he's little bit above comfortable) but I discovered that I feel nothing for him, I don't even like hugging him at all.
I feel empty anytime we hangout. He's not what I want-emotionally, physically(I wanted to overlook this but...), intellectually etc. So, recently I told him that I don't think I would continue anything with him just cos I don't want to waste both our times, but he won't take no for an answer.
Just the other day, he came to my office and was pleading that I should forgive anything he might have done to me even as I've explained that it's nothing about him but me. He went to the extent of kneeling and I was really embarrassed. I don't know how else to handle it so I told him plainly that I don't love him, he stood up and asked if I said that I don't love him. I said yes, and he started shedding tears and left.
I felt really bad, maybe I shouldn't have said that cos it hurt his feelings. Now, I want to call him to apologize though my friend said I shouldn't call him but I still feel I should. According to her, he might think I want him back if I do so. Now, Tee is back again with his baggage and with him I feel so helpless. I feel like I'm in cross road, confused, stuck up... Please forgive my incoherent long write up, I'm not just in a good mind frame at the moment.
what do women really want?You will regret your actions...call that man and apologise for hurting him please..i wish you all the best with Tee...you will need a miracle to be happy with him with what you described as his situation.
Poster can you just listen to yourself? Emere gi ya eme?
ReplyDeletePoster how old are you?
DeleteTee that has not yet figure his life.nai u dey love anyhow.
Ray that knows what he want you don't want him.
Mama tee and Ray what do you even want self???
If you see the 3rd guy let us know.
Devil @ work
DeletePoster! Tee and Ray are not the only men in the world. Keep looking
DeletePoster I can tell you are either between the aged of 24-27.Because it is at this age we dey really mumu for love as women.The anthem for this age grade is "I am ready for marriage,there is plenty of fishes in the ocean,if soldier go,soldier come".Until 35 years come knocking that is when your eyes go open.
DeleteIf you are not careful,you will loose your a responsible and good man,hanging on to a guy still trying to discover his path.Trust me,this guy will keep running errands for a very,very, very long time because he is lazy.Most guys like that are comfortable like that.As long as they he gets little tips from those errands.Because he schooled in America doesn't mean s**t if he can't hustle for his own bread,because his family will not be there forever.
Forget about Tee abeg.You don't love him is that you don't love him.Love no be by force..Ray is not just serious with you,because if it is not a medical emergency,he could tell his mum/family to give him some time he is on a date(he is old enough to be in one),and on his way coming he would get whatever it is she wants.
If I was ray and u come back after al while, I'd bang u and leave u high n dry.
ReplyDeleteSince u love tee, how far? Are u happy with him? Look for number 3.
@ BlackBerry actually u spoke the mind of a lot of men. When a lady rejects a man, it is not advisable for the lady to go back as he will try to revenge. This Is why you don't dispose of a guy by telling him, use your actions and excuses the same way guys do to ladies they don't like. That way if u have a change of mind later u can go back easy. Na small pikin dey do this babe. Probably the other guy is taller, hotter and sexier than Ray n good diq game. I am kind of in the same situation except I am not gonna throw away either of the men until I'm sure. Yes I am more physically attracted to one than the other. But the well established one is sexy to me in his own way in terms of intelligence, accomplishments, ability to provide for a family. I'm not dumb enough to dispose of him just cus he's short and overweight. And I'm not going to let the tall sexy guy know he's not my top pick. Women learn how to strategise n play your cards right so u can stop losing at love.
DeleteYoung lady, apologise to the 2nd guy for being so blunt but LEAVE BOTH MEN ALONE.
ReplyDeleteYou are not Bob the builder to mold Tee and you deserve love with someone other than Ray. Do yourself a favour and throw a private celebration that you did not get entangled or pregnant for either men. Your own man who will give you butterflies in your belly is almost at your door.
Make sure to come update the story when he shows up okay? Much love.
👍👏👏👏
DeleteThank you for this advice. I don't know why people think if someone is okay by societal standards, then you have to be with them even if you don't feel that way about them.
DeleteYou can apologise to him since you want to, but don't try to get close to him cos it would only hurt him more. Just pray for your own man, one you'ld be able to love and that would love you too.
Butterflies in her Belle kwa? Hanty o!!! Na so una go dey decieve dis small girls. No be only butterfly. E go soon be cockroach.
DeletePoster, listen to this advice.
DeleteTee is not ready for a commitment right now. As you said, he's currently jobless, hence the reason he's available for mother and sister to send him on errands. Tee should be focused on getting a job right now.
ReplyDeleteTee may look stupid to you but he is not. There is nothing wrong with going on errands for his mum and elder sister. Once he starts working the dynamics will change. This happened to some us and it didn't stop our progress. They are not punishing him. It's unfortunate that it's affecting your relationship but l urge you be patient and understanding. Please call the second guy and apologise to him, learn to be sensitive.
Delete@Alexander, I agree with you. He lives with his parents, is unemployed and so must be subject to them. This is his family, he loses nothing by being helpful and kind to parents that are offering him housing at age 31. However, he needs to focus and all but due to age dynamics, poster he may not be your spouse. Unless you are willing to wait till he gets ready...
DeleteRun away from both
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteHow old are you to start with?
ReplyDeleteConfused girl. See as you dey confuse people children. No be your fault. Na the very weak men wey una dey meet. Imagine the other anu'ohia kneeling down to beg a woman to take him back!!! Tufia! Aru! So shameful. Who raised such men? If you must kneel before any woman, it should be just one person- your momma. In the next 10 years, I wonder what this world will be like. What will the society look like with weak men around?
ReplyDeleteIs she the only woman available? Why should you even beg to be loved? Listen, there's always somebody better out there waiting for you. Resist and avoid girls like this woman. Stop putting unnecessary premium on girls like her. The truth is, people are nothing but the premium you put on them. Na as you look person e be.
Bro, I really don't care about these stupid and shameless men. That's how they'll end up bringing up other men kids as theirs.
DeleteMy only issue is how their actions and inactions affect us in certain ways..
Let me explain-
1. It's some of these weak men that are being controlled and manipulated by their wives and girlfriends to make stupid laws against their own gender, cos they don't have sense to see that they are being used. All it takes to get them is just few crocodile tears and playing the victim card.
2. It's these weak men that makes some ladies think we are all the same, thereby bringing around their trashy attitude, just cos they did it with the other guy and he was fine with it.
The whole kneeling thing made me remember an experience that happened to "someone I know" Lol.. when this girl came around that evening from work,a number kept calling her, she then switched off her phone. Asked who it was and she said it was her boyfriend that he's calling cos he usually come to pick her from work on his way back to go drop her home before going to his. So you can imagine my worries, asked if he wouldn't be angry with her for this stunt she just pulled, guess what? She said someone that would be waiting for her at her house gate anytime she gets home to beg and ask for her forgiveness if there's anything he did wrong, she was like he use to kneel and beg her sef that he lovs her so much.. babe weh go collect serious planking.. omo.. I weak for my gender..
Real men are going extint
@poster I think you should have a serious talk with Tee... Ask him what his plans for his future are and offer your support. If he makes sense then stick with him. He seems like a genuinely good guy.
Delete@ceaser and @dante not all women are manipulative as you think...
"It's some of these weak men that are being controlled and manipulated by their wives and girlfriends to make stupid laws against their own gender, cos they don't have sense to see that they are being used. All it takes to get them is just few crocodile tears and playing the victim card."
DeleteThat's a very valid point. You see a man lose his entire masculinity because of pussy. Gosh!
Gold digger, let me find you your work tools;
ReplyDelete🪓🪓🔨⚖⚖🔦🔦and you may need to guard your stash. Here
we go🔫🔫🏹🏹
How is she a gold digger madam?
DeleteShe's actually the opposite of gold digger. Aunty is hustling backwards. Allowing preeq to make decisions for her In life instead of stability. I pity some babes
DeleteStopeeeet 17:20🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteBe kind! This is 2021. Btw, poster is distraught and going gaga.
This is where I will give the advice of Queen and Boss" go and settle your spirit husband". You see good man you are not feeling him it is the bad one you feel. Continue feeling
ReplyDeleteI wonder
DeleteAhhhh. Omo*1000. You don't love the person who has his life figured out and obviously loves you. But you want the one that is 30 and doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. Leave tee alone
ReplyDeleteThis one is devil at work.
DeleteMy gender confuses me. You don't feel anything for Ray abi? Lol. You think it's about feelings right. Get out of your head and see a man who is going all out for you. Otherwise wait for your Mr. Errandboy and nag him when he doesn't have 6pur time, coshe will keep serving his parent while you fume in frustration for lack of attention.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, justsit down and discover yourself. Who are you? What is the meaning of life? What does 'feelings' mean?
You are just too stupid. Later you will come up with chronicle of how men are wicked.
ReplyDeleteYou see a good man but prefer to waste your time on Tee.
To who brain is given, wisdom is expected.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteCalm down radiant D. Mehn! Love is complicated.
Leave Tee alone cos at some point, his family will see you as an outsider who wants to scatter their relationship. He isn't ready yet and it is not your place to tell him that his family is using him. Him eye go clear when time reach.
ReplyDeleteAs for Ray, he might be the man you need but your feelings for Tee won't let you see that. Apologize to him and let him be, maybe you'll find the ONE later.
My sister I pity you. If you go with that Tee your life will be shattered because he is not yet a man and never will be. He is a toy in the hands of his mum and sisters. They will always control and direct him where and when ever they wish. It is a very crazy experience I don't wish on any one.
ReplyDeleteLet me sing a song for you poster.
ReplyDeleteBob y3he builder ,can you fix it?🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
Bob the builder, NO YOU CAN'T.
Leave that tee alone and face your front, call y3he second guy and apologise, its not everything you have in mind,you say.
Some people words can break them into pieces.
You need to take a deep breath. At times, we do not see what is right in front of us. You need space from both men to figure out what you want in life.
ReplyDeleteHow can you fàll in love with a clueless man? How?. I won't fault you about breaking up with Ray, you did the right thing by not wasting the young man's time. You can send a text to apologize for the bluntness. Let him Know you are not in the right frame of mind to show him the kind of love he deserves. Don't go back to Ray please,he will just use you to catch cruise.
ReplyDeleteAs for Tee, i can see you haven't learnt any useful information from reading this blog. When you see him, does he look like the kind of man you want mentoring your kids? Your answer to that will help you a lot. I think I am talking too much, the bottom line of my story telling is that you haven't met your life partner. Keep it moving and hand it all over to God.
But in Naija, we have been falling in love with clueless leaders since 19...😂😂
DeleteRay is nothing but a simp
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteA bloody simp 🤮 tueeh.....kneeling,crying SMH.
DeleteI'm happy someone especially a lady thinks so too.some women would probably find it ego-boosting that a man kneels down to beg them.
Tee is in training to be the family houseboy
ReplyDeleteYou want to be his coapprentice
Jeez what!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteThis chronicle is damn hilarious!
Very very hilarious🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteWahala be like harmattan, e dey touch everybody!
Hahahahha
DeleteFunny
You haven't seen boyfriend yet. The first one has too much baggage and the second you will never respect or love. LET BOTH OF THEM GO. Yes I am shouting.
ReplyDeleteYou are in between middle of the center... :)
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteCoapprentice Jet?😁 You get mouth o
ReplyDeletePoster you are not confused anything, you are in love with Tee, continue when u are tired u will do the right thing. Matters of the heart is very complicated.
ReplyDeleteU better complete it.
ReplyDeleteTee jay
Poster I want to specially thank you and your boyfriendS tee and ray for making me laugh this evening.
ReplyDeleteThis is 2021, please nau use your head!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI'm all over the comment session like a praying mantis 🤣🤣
You are so correct on the advice you gave her about Ray.
ReplyDeleteShe's so damn insensitive and stupidily naive.
How dare you tell Ray to his face that you love him not????
Naaaawaooo.
Please before you speak, think it thoroughly to avoid killing somebody's self esteem just because he's wooing you.
Continue giving Tee money you hear, don't use your tongue to count your teeth, probably you are super tripping cos Tee schooled aboard, right?
How SURE are you that HE actually graduated??
You see a huge problem but you in your wisdom feels that you can shoulder it right?
Quit feeling gaga and make use of your brain!
Lol. This reminds me of my ex. Infact, maybe its the same person sef. Wasted two years of my life with him before I borrowed sense to run away.
ReplyDeleteWe could be together and the sister can call him to 'please take her wig to the salon to be curled'. Na so I go enter car and we will go.
Or, ' please go to the makeup artist in the estate to find out if she will be available to come do my makeup in the evening? Na so we go enter car back.
The oil and gas job they helped him get nko, he had to even be sacked cuz he was still running errands and using up company time. Job and family home is in lekki phase 1. He was dangling foreign passport, I would be dreaming of EU citizenship and be hanging on. Always lending him money.
My dear, please run. It will definitely end up in premium tears.
I am now married with a set of triplets and he is still at that spot I left him at.
Women we have big problem, you prefer a guy who doesn't know where he is heading to in life more than a guy who is comfortable.
ReplyDeleteMore chronicles loading with tee aka mummy's boi.
Person wey get head, no get cap...the one wey get cap no get head..life no just balance..
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteI was once in the same situation as you. Although, truthfully, my ex was 27 years old not 30 years old.
What i discovered is that this men who run errands for their families after substantial education backgrounds do not actually have a dream/drive/ambition/plan. It is because of this that they rely on their family for things, and the reality is that Family will give you something and ask for more in return.
You will think it is the family that is the issue, but, omo , run o. The man are the problem.
A word is enough for the wise.
Had one too like this... 28 knocking 29 running errands up and down.
ReplyDelete