Saturday, January 09, 2021
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Ah. No oooo
ReplyDeleteNo. But it's a normal thing nhaa...girls do it a lot
DeleteNo. Never
DeleteNo
DeleteI did it and been happily married for 20 years and still counting. I didn't marry him for my parents though. I did because I was convinced in my mind. I have grown to love him but not in love with him. We have a normal and happy marriage. Love does not guarantee a sustainable and happy marriage.
DeleteSo who will make me happy in the marriage.
DeleteAnon so only 'love' can make you happy? You should educate yourself more on 'friendship', 'mutual respect', companionship and 'common interests'. These are more long lasting in any relationship.
DeleteI can't trade my happiness for anything
DeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteEleyiga o
Never ever.
ReplyDeleteYes, I sure can. But na divorce go sure pass later on!
DeleteNo way
ReplyDeleteI can't! I did not!
ReplyDeleteI'm living for me not them...
🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteNo.
ReplyDeleteMy parents have had their chance at happiness, they shouldn't jumble up mine for me.
ReplyDeleteI swear
DeleteDem no go help me live in d house with him ooo
DeleteNo, I can't. It will be waste of time and emotion, it may eventually end in divorce.
ReplyDeleteNo
ReplyDeleteIt's impossicant oo
My priority at this stage is not to do what makes them happy lmao
ReplyDeleteAswear Sneaker. I never make myself happy finish. Abeg ehn! They should try and make themselves happy cos this marriage thing, I no sure say I go do am sef. Life no hard biko.
DeleteAhh noo..can't even go out on a date with someone I dont have feelings for.
ReplyDeleteNo! No!!
ReplyDeleteNot possible o, i cant. Its my life
ReplyDeleteNah. Nooo
ReplyDeleteNo
ReplyDeleteHummmm, this is my table shaking before me.
ReplyDeleteI got married 8years ago to my husband, our parents are best friends, we grew up basically together, every festive period we take turns to host each other, traveling together.
I am the first child and he is also the first child.
Our parents are so close that they could make jokes about me and Ola getting married.
When I was ready to start having boyfriend I noticed they always send Ola to come visiting, he could stay till late in the evening and Gist boring Gist.
I forgot to mention, we also attended the same school.
Ola was all over me, I could sense the pressure from his parents.
I had my first boyfriend and my parents attitude sent him away, 2nd,3rd and 4th.
I got depressed and one thing led to another, Ola became so close.
I told my parents I don't have any feelings for him but they said it will come, I should spoil their reputation blablabla.
Just to please them, I said yes to ola.
Now, we have 3 kids, I still don't love him, I have tried but hell no.
Ola is a gentle man, easy going, financially ok, but I don't love him.
He is aware because he saw how happy I was then while dating my first love, he said he will do anything to bring back those smiles.
My solution is to walk away.. How do I start? Will I be trapped forever?
Goshhh, can I forgive my parents?
Hmmm.. Love is important, no argument but sometimes ehn pick peace of mind.. You no fit chop love o! I pray that when you are ready to appreciate what you have on a platter of Gold (Your Ola).. I pray its not too late! I pray you don't lose what you have until you know it's worth.
DeleteI prayed that prayer because: You don't have any complaints about that man for those 8years of marriage.
You see that thing that you wanto goan see outside.. You will see it when you finally walk away o Maami, then.. You will realize contentment is Key!
I mean no harm 🙏
This made me so sad for both you and your husband. Being in a loveless relationship is terrible. Can't his good qualities win you over. He obviously wants to make things right.
DeleteAm from the east and it's a common thing for most parents to match make. Mine tried desperately to get me to say yes to a man from a very respectable and responsible family in igbo land. I refused BCOS I was(still am) deeply in love with my husband who's of another tribe entirely. It was a difficult period for everyone especially since am their only daughter and on the quiet side. I did crazy things only love can make you do. At a point I stayed for years without seeing my parents , it was hell. But thank God they finally softened towards him and we are married with kids. People of God pls follow your heart but with common sense o. The person must be worth the trouble.
I agree Rajab.
DeleteAnon 18.31 pls stay with your hubby.
I pray that God will awaken feelings of love for him within you.
In your long write up, you didn’t mention one bad part of him, except that you don’t love him.
He is even willing to do anything to put that smile back on your face!
Please don’t leave him, you will smile real soon, by God’s Grace. Don’t break your family up.
I pray God gives me a man who’s willing to restore the lost smiles that evil men wiped away, back to my face too. 🙏🏾
@rajabfood do you know that if u don't love someone, sex will be a chore for u and not something to be enjoyed. Conversation will seem forced. Tiny things u can ignore may lead to quarrel. Seeing the person's call is even enough to annoy you.
DeleteLove is too important for a happy marriage, way too important if not there's no way you would be truly happy in that marriage especially if it was a marriage u never wanted in the first place.
God bless you Tade (Rajab) you said it all!!!! My dear you have 3 kids already,try and appreciate what you have.
DeleteBe there living in illussion. Dont come down to reality and stop hurting that good man you have. Thats why its not good to show a lady too much love; most times its taken for granted.
DeleteIf only your hubby would just pull one yoruba demon moves , so you would appreciate what you have. I just hope it wouldnt be so late.
What do you want madam? Better sex, broken promises, marriage induced high bp,beatings.....? I am guessing you had it so easy in your dating days. If you had your heart seriously broken multiple times, you would be so grateful for a sane relationship/marriage.
Find happiness in your self first. If only your hubby could also find true love and leave your ungrateful ass.
Please if the man is good to you, stay in your marriage please. The street out here is very rough. Very few good men left.
DeleteI also think one of the reasons you are taking him for granted is because no girl is dragging is money and attention with you. If it so happens,that's when you will realize you actually love him.
I'm even pitying him sef as he has been enduring the state of not feeling loved or appreciated.
I pray you get to love him back.
Sowie
U dont love him, but u let him bang u till 3 kids😀 tell us d real reason mbok.
DeleteKeep loathing him, I will pray for him to find love elsewhere so u can be free to go n find d love of ur life.
The way our Nigerian society brushes off emotions is amazing and that's why we have a lot of deceitful pretentious people in marriage, How can you marry a person without having an iota of love and people will tell you to manage or call it a platter of gold you do not know what you have, blah blah blah, until we realize that emotions such as love, pain need to espressed and not seen as weak we will have a lot of frustrated and agnry people.
DeleteWicked woman na im you be
DeleteI might not walk this path you are on but l feel ur pains. Why? I have a cousin who is on this table. Oh! All of you telling her to manage. Its only Eka Joy that understands. Can u have sex with your brother and enjoy it? That's how my sister describes her sex life with her husband. Its a crazy struggle everyday. U see those normal play and joke with ur spouse: no show. Her smiles are always forced most especially when she's home. How many l wan type. Madam. Sorry. You should have listened to your heart. Now too much is at stake. For those saying the love will grow, it doesn't always.
Delete@anon 07:49 @Eka.. I really understand your point, infact very valid views! I'm a preacher of love o but for this case where lovely cohabitation have been existing for long and beautiful kids already??? I believe if she can forgive her parents and let go of the sole reason why they came together in the beginning, things may change for good (she might probably still be holding unto that in her heart which isn't letting her see things from a fresh perspective.. We all know we can't decide how long things last in other people's mind). If she let go and start seeing things differently, her mind/heart will be refreshed.
DeleteAnd again, I'm scared for her.. Is it not Nigerian men again??? I don't want her to suffer before she realizes "maybe just maybe" what she ever needed has always been with her hence my prayers!
No way.
ReplyDeleteNope, I can't.
ReplyDeleteI can't
ReplyDeleteDats how my boyfriend bck den in 2013 told me marrying me will only make his mother happy cos he was still in love with his Caucasian girl friend. (We wer in long distance relationship) na so i end d relationship
ReplyDeleteI almost did, thank God I did not becos I hate the guy. My mum almost forced me to marry him. Now I've met the love of my life, we gettin married this year. I lost my mum last year🥺🥺
ReplyDeleteNo, I can't!
ReplyDeleteLove and peace of mind supercede parents choice of a partner
No I cannot
ReplyDeleteI found out that I can't. I tried loving him but hey, I don't want to punish him and myself.
ReplyDeleteIf shes on her dying bed... and that's her death wish. After the burial we divorce
ReplyDeleteLol Savage
DeleteNever
ReplyDeleteSome are saying No but when the guy is surrounded by dollar dollar, mouth will change.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you, pls shout so does at the back can hear you, when money is involved all of them go change mouth.
DeleteSurrounded by dollars I can't make myself?
DeleteLast born you need to work on your spelling. Reading from you is painful to the eyes. Spend time improving yourself .
DeleteMy dear Mrs Ola. You don't know what you have till you ve lost it. A man that says he will do anything to bring your smiles!!!I90% of marriages are compromise. You are watching too many movies . Make up your mind to love him . Its a choice !!!If you continue like this he will leave you one day ! Then it will be too late!
ReplyDeleteI am just laughing at her. Let her go first, I pray that man meets a hot chick dat loves him, she will be d one complaining later that her husband is cheating, meanwhile she caused it.
DeleteBlackberry it must be nice to be vast and knowledgeable even in situations you haven't lived or experienced. Have you also thought of how pained and unwanted the man would be feeling knowing his wife doesn't love him the way a woman should. I didnt know feelings have switches that can be turned on and off. Considering street hot outside, don't u think she would have done all she can to feel how she should feel?
DeleteHer reasons are very valid!!! Love is important
DeleteI also think she needs to forgive and make conscious effort to see things differently. She's obviously still reacting based on the "reasons" behind the marriage in the first place!
Or maybe she needs to go out there to see for herself so she can understand better
😳😳😳😳
ReplyDeleteNooooooooo
ReplyDeleteNo
ReplyDeleteIts one sure chance of getting into and staying in a miserable marriage. It has also worked for some too. So its a win lose situation
ReplyDeleteSome of you mocking Mrs. Ola should please let STOP IT!!! Recall that man who chased you but you had zero feelings for and rejected him repeatedly? Now imagine being forced to marry that person and having to live with him? I don't want to find myself in that situation. So please stop mocking her with threats of her husband going after another woman. Chances are high that she would only be concerned of the financial implications of that on her and her children rather than on love. Many of you who married husbands you love are being cheated on by them,so why are you mocking her?
ReplyDeleteMrs. ola, I'm sorry you're in this situation. However, as a Christian I firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage. Draw close to God in prayer and ask for his help in helping you to love and respect your husband the way He wants you too.