Is low sperm count enough reason to crash a Marriage?
Mrs Toyin Bello, an Ibadan resident has petitioned an Ile-Tuntun Customary Court to dissolve her 16-year-old marriage to Mr Dotun Bello on grounds of 10 years of sex starvation, lack of productivity and irresponsibility.
Toyin told the court that when she could no longer bear the shame of childlessness, she got pregnant for another man.
She added that about six years after the death of the legitimate child she had for Bello, he adamantly refused to make sexual advances at her and she became worried.
“Then, I started running from pillar to post; seeking spiritual and other available solutions towards getting pregnant for him.
Dotun himself went to the hospital, but he never showed me the result of the test conducted on him in spite of my numerous demands.
“When Dotun was not at home one day, I saw the result where he hid it and it read: `unproductive due to low count discharge`.
“With age not on my side any longer, I did the needful by secretly getting pregnant for another man so as to make him happy.
“Immediately after delivery, Dotun started misbehaving as he became grossly irresponsible and hostile to me and to the child.
In fact, for the past 10 years now, he hasn’t slept on the same bed with me let alone touch me and I’m already feeling the trauma.
“Despite Dotun’s disaffection and irresponsibility to me, he is also taking steps to kill me so as to inherit my house and claim the child that doesn’t belong to him.
That is the reason why I have fled home to start sleeping in our church in the Asi area of Ibadan.
“My lord, I cannot continue to waste my time with Dotun; age is no longer on my side; please dissolve our union,’’ she said.
In his response, Bello admitted that he once had low count discharge, adding that he had since taken care of himself.
“My lord, Toyin denied me my conjugal rights most of the time, usually complaining that she was tired having worked all through the day.
In fact, there was a particular night I broke the door into her bedroom, but she was shouting that I wanted to rape her.
The only mistake I made was that I didn’t report the incident to her relatives,’’ he stated.
Delivering Judgement, the President of the court, Chief Henry Agbaje ruled that the couple produce more evidence to back up their claims while urging them to involve their relatives to resolve the matter amicably.
He adjourned the case to Dec. 29 for continuation of hearing.
Toyin told the court that when she could no longer bear the shame of childlessness, she got pregnant for another man.
She added that about six years after the death of the legitimate child she had for Bello, he adamantly refused to make sexual advances at her and she became worried.
“Then, I started running from pillar to post; seeking spiritual and other available solutions towards getting pregnant for him.
Dotun himself went to the hospital, but he never showed me the result of the test conducted on him in spite of my numerous demands.
“When Dotun was not at home one day, I saw the result where he hid it and it read: `unproductive due to low count discharge`.
“With age not on my side any longer, I did the needful by secretly getting pregnant for another man so as to make him happy.
“Immediately after delivery, Dotun started misbehaving as he became grossly irresponsible and hostile to me and to the child.
In fact, for the past 10 years now, he hasn’t slept on the same bed with me let alone touch me and I’m already feeling the trauma.
“Despite Dotun’s disaffection and irresponsibility to me, he is also taking steps to kill me so as to inherit my house and claim the child that doesn’t belong to him.
That is the reason why I have fled home to start sleeping in our church in the Asi area of Ibadan.
“My lord, I cannot continue to waste my time with Dotun; age is no longer on my side; please dissolve our union,’’ she said.
In his response, Bello admitted that he once had low count discharge, adding that he had since taken care of himself.
“My lord, Toyin denied me my conjugal rights most of the time, usually complaining that she was tired having worked all through the day.
In fact, there was a particular night I broke the door into her bedroom, but she was shouting that I wanted to rape her.
The only mistake I made was that I didn’t report the incident to her relatives,’’ he stated.
Delivering Judgement, the President of the court, Chief Henry Agbaje ruled that the couple produce more evidence to back up their claims while urging them to involve their relatives to resolve the matter amicably.
He adjourned the case to Dec. 29 for continuation of hearing.
NAN via dailypost..
*I dont understand how these Nigerian Judges behave,why will you ask a couple to involve relatives in their problems as if that will make it go away?she says he is trying to harm her,how do relatives come into this?They are no longer in love and you are sending them to relatives as if that will make it better...
For crying out loud,they are not even making love anymore!!!
Well I feel the court always try every avenue to settle couple before granting them divorce.
ReplyDeleteResolve wetin again abeg. Marriage dat is DEAD.
ReplyDeleteFunnily my friends Aunt had similar issue. People were thnkn it was her fault for being TTC for 20yrs. Dis lady left her husband and even her parents stopped talkn to her dat after d husband been dere thru d TTC and supportive. Months later she resurfaced with a huge baby bump. Shes now remarried to d baby father.
Stella, you're not smarter than the law. Judges are always pro-reconlliation so to get a divorce is not usually easy. The judge knows either or both of them could be lying or exaggerating things just to make the court grant the divorce. When I was going to divorce my boyfriend, yes BOYFRIEND (we got a marriage certificate just to process visas) after things didn't work out. Even though we never lived together nor had a child together and were together for roughly three months, first, I had to wait for the marriage to clock 3 years, secondly my lawyer (God rest his soul as he's late now) taught me to exaggerate things else the judge might not grant it.
ReplyDeleteSee them. Adulterer and irresponsible man. You saw his result and could not confront him but decided to help him by bringing another man's baby... Shame on you.
ReplyDeleteIn short shame on both of you
Na wah
ReplyDeleteWhen women say they get pregnant outside to help a man, I wonder if they are deranged or what? A man can never cover your shame if he knows you are the one with fault. He will go and marry second wife to show the world that you are the one with the infertility problem not him. Stop helping a man cover his infertility problem by cheating, you can leave him if you cannot stay with him like that. Cheating is bad, whether man or woman.
ReplyDeleteAsin ehn!
DeleteHelp him indeed!
Stella, our laws are made to suit our culture. This is not Oyinbo land. Parents have a say in our marriages
ReplyDeletewell zaid chidinma
ReplyDeleteIt's not just about low sperm count aunty Stella, it's about the deception.
ReplyDeleteMy ex, a pastor,was the one who use to hold the microphone for his senior pastor while supposedly casting out the spirit of barrenness.
I went through years of humiliation in that church. He even told me that I focus too much on looking good that's why the prayers were not working. Every service they will call me out and be casting and binding. I remembered once when the pastor said it openly in church that I should stop all this yanga and focus on the problem so that the problem can be solved, and everyone was snickering. All the while, oga was the one with the issue. That guy is the greatest actor/pretender I have ever seen. Till date, I still can't get over the deception... I still can't trust any pastor.. and I still can't go to any church.
Just get married, get pregnant, and go back to the church and do testimony. That's the only way to expose him.
DeleteThey are not in love again na.
ReplyDeleteBabe, you are a genius, one trailer of henessy for you.
ReplyDeleteThis judge. Was the relatives there in the farce of a marriage with them? You are the judge make your ruling, what kind of proof needs to be presented if people want to divorce. Even if the complainant said something as simple as they are tired of seeing their spouse's face or tired of the marriage and have no desire to work on mediation then grant them their divorce. Leave the morality to God, you deal with the law of the land, that is your jurisdiction. Bout go to relatives. Mtscchw.
ReplyDelete