Weekend Arena Special Recognition Awards 2020 -MUST READ

Weekend Arena, after due consultations with its ‘Honours and Ethics Committee’, has in the spirit of the season, decided to recognise and ‘celebrate’ those individuals and events that shaped this period in Nigeria, under ten award categories:

1: Special Award For Legislative Showmanship 2020: 

 This recognises a serving or former federal legislator, who ‘appears endowed’ to do better than Burna Boy, Tekno and Wiz Kid combined but decided to ply his trade on the political terrain (for the pecks?) while once in a while dishing out his ‘songs and videos’. Senator Adeleke and Senator Dino Melaye, came tops, but superior deliberations gave it to Senator Dino Melaye.

2. Award for Special Attraction to Virgins 2020: 

Many people do love their men and women naïve, green and fresh from the farm, but only Barr Ned Nwoko, came out to announce his boldly in a newspaper interview and so the award goes to him. Zip up, and get ‘Ned-ed’.



3. Award for the Most Expensive Slap 2020:

 There are slaps and there are slaps, but when a slap gets to court and wins cash compensation of N50m, then that slap deserves a Weekend Arena award. So Senator Elisha Abbo of Adamawa State, who slapped a nursing mother over an avoidable altercation, in a shop, sorry, sex-toy shop, gets this ‘honour’.




4. Special Award For Probe-Induced Fainting 2020: 

Probe or appearing before a court of law, has a way of sending the ‘fainting hormones’ around Nigerians’ systems. We heard Senator Melaye, Olisa Metuh, Prof Pondei and Abdulrasheed Maina know best. A stiff contest here; the Honours and Ethics’ committee said they had a tough time determining the winner of this category because all the nominees were great in their portrayal. But for the sake of freshness of event, Pension man, Maina gets the award for fainting. Abeg comot, make I faint too!

5. Award for Un-prophetic Delivery 2020:

 Nigeria is blessed with lots of spiritual advisers who act as our prophets and pastors. They tell us things God wants us to know, especially which political party will win any Local Government election conducted by any state electoral commission. But they failed in the prophecy of letting Nigerians know there was going to be a lockdown induced by corona virus. Or did God not tell them? For that, all the pastors and prophets in Nigeria have jointly won this special award for ‘Un-prophetic Delivery’. Halleluyah!

6. Award for Sustained Industrial Action 2020:

 There is nothing wrong in agitating for a better condition of service if one’s employer is a comedian and decides to make a joke of one’s wages. That is the best way to describe the Academic Staff Union of Universities, ASUU, who in 2020 has been ‘striking’ for over 10 months. Let them just make it ‘one cool year’.




7. Special Detective of the Year Award 2020: 

When this special recognition came up everyone remembered the special visit by southwest political leaders to the Governor of Lagos, following the EndSARS protests and arson. At the Lekki Toll Gate, someone showed that when he is not building roads and bridges, he could actually be unraveling evidences at crime scenes. For that, the award goes to Raji Fashola!

8. Executive Marriage Counselor of the Year: 

What God has joined together, let no man put asunder may be his creed. While marriage counselors get paid to resolve matrimonial issues, someone as highly placed as a governor, could pause on his brief as a chief executive officer of a state to wade into the marital problems of a journalist and his wife in Benue state. So Governor Samuel Ortom has this award. Who knows, he may be opening a ‘Marriage Clinic’ instead of going to the Senate, like his colleagues, after his tenure.




9: Twitter Warrior of the Year 2020:

 They are social media savvy and don’t you try to take them for granted, because if you tell them ‘one’, they will answer you with ‘ten’, trying to defend their ‘brand of bread’. The Honours and Ethics Committee gave the special award to three top-ranking nominees: Aisha Yesufu, Reno Omokri and Lauretta Onochie.




10: Special Recognition for Coded Presidential Ambition:

 2023, when Nigeria will have the next general election may seem long, but for these astute but coded aspirants, action don start o. When you read their posts, their body language about issues in Nigeria, or even their renewed sense of patriotism and philanthropy, you will understand. For the special recognition Award for Coded Presidential Ambition, it is a joint victory for the following politicians: Bola Tinubu, Atiku Abubakar, Orji Uzo Kalu, and Governor Nasir El Rufai.


Congratulations to all the winners. Contact Stella for your plaques!

*Hahahahahahahahahhaha Ngozi the plaques are for sale,nothing is free in Nigeria...

My Dear readers if you disagree with the named Recipients,please give the award to whoever you feel deserves it...

I disagree with that fainting award recipient ooooh...it should go Pondei...Did you see how he made his eyes when he faked the faint and how he suddenly became active when that man almost broke his jaw and pulled out his tongue in the name of reviving him?Please let Pondei take that award..Maina dey learn work,you dont need to fall on the ground to faint,you can faint while standing.