Have you ever tried to impress anyone with good food but ended up with the opposite?
Was it food for the home or food for party?
I remember when i relocated and tried to impress my in laws with Okro soup and Eba,the food turned out a disaster but they didn't know and thought that was how the food was.......I just looked on with side eyes until they finished it...I did not get any report if anyone had stomach upset or runny stomach but after that time,anytime i suggested wanting to cook,i got back my side eyes....hehehehehehehehehe
Any funny cooking disaster stories?Sometimes a good cook can churn out bad food due to stress,or bad planning....
I recently read somewhere that if you add green pepper to Jolof rice,you will get that correct Jollof rice taste....it might turn out a cooking disaster eeeeh.
Please share your stories and lets 'chillax'
The first time I cooked Onugbu soup, it was water corporation. I do not know if I added water to the Onugbu or I added Onugbu to the water. 😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
ReplyDeleteLmao 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣 at water cooperation 😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteLoool
Delete@Paris
DeleteCheck the spelling of "corporation"
😂😂😆😆 so sorry I had to laugh
DeleteYes🙈 on Valentine's day this year. I wanted to impress my guy but it turned out too spicy. He's a good cook hence knows when a good is tasty or not. Chaii, shame won finish me that day but he ate a little and dovoured all the meats 😂
ReplyDeleteIt happens at times I'm sure your boo understands
DeleteMy ex girlfriend made a serious mess of ordinary meat pie - stuff was so strong that I couldn't even eat it. I was living with her in her house then, so couldn't even shout, else she WOULD pick a fight with me, REFUSE me sex or kicked me out of her house, if I shout.
DeleteShe squeezed her face while I battled with the hard meat pie - she knew she fucked up with the meat pie but I couldn't just say anything to her face.....but the way I was dragging my mouth, she knew that I was't impressed with the meatpie.
The other time, she made jollof rice and added all the pepper in the world.
The thing is that anytime she cook bad food, she go just squeeze face for me so that I don't complain or pick fight with her.
AMARACHI, GOD GO PUNISH YOU FOR THAT MEATPIE THAT YEAR.YOU NO SABI COOK. Fine face no skill.
Hmmn,it's turning of wheat that messed me up, it took some time to get it right. I know how many times I had to hide pot from my folks because it came out watery.
DeleteRockforce why? You ingrate!😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteWelldone @ rockforce, you stayed in her house, ate her food, ate her p...y and still curse her ontop? Na amarachi i blame sha.
Delete@ Rockforce why didn’t you correct her immediately with love and make it with her next time, cooking shouldn’t be gender base as the best cooks are always the male, check out high class restaurants
DeleteD first time i made ewedu and gbegiri, it was something for d gods alone. I swore never to make it again and just enjoy d delicacy from my favourite amala joint.
ReplyDeleteYou don kuku kee me with 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
DeleteLol
Delete😂😂😂
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteD way I love dat delicacy enhhh, d sacrifice i prepared dat day still couldn't take away my love for ewedu/gbegiri and amala o, even as an Igbo lady. Boya one iya Basira don wash put for me! 😄 🤣 😂 😆
DeleteI tried preparing ewedu by blending the leaves instead of using broom(yuck).
ReplyDeleteSuffice it to say that hubby ate very little while shouting "ejo e ba mi je" with each mould he dipped into the soup to swallow.
Connoting that the consistency was horrible and it tasted like green shit because I added iru.
Abeg make I manage my Igbo soups, I no fit shout.
😀😁
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteYou people won't kill me o😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣he even try eating it.
Deletee no easy aswear!
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
DeleteIn the early 2000 my friend loves moi moi made with leaf but she doesn't know how to do it! So I told her I can not knowing how my Mom made hers with the leaf which I know of is quiet different from the leaf in the urban area🙆🙆 so that fateful Saturday she bought the leaf and did peeling, grinding! When I saw the leaf I was surprised but I told myself I can do it😂😂😂😂😂😂 I wobble the paste inside the leaf and after a while I wanted to put water lo and behold everything has opened and the whole pot has turn to swimming pool 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Choi! Wasted resources and effort! We just looked ourselves and started 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 but after that I took my time to practice and I got it wella✅✅✅✅ now I'm a professional 😁😁😁
ReplyDeleteWe call it 'akwukwo uma'. Sure,with constant practice, you will be perfect.
Delete😆🤣😄😃😁
DeleteThis happened to me too but with aluminium foil. My mum wasn't at home and I wanted to impress/surprise my elder sister by cooking before she's back. Moi Moi was on the menu and we were supposed to peel the beans and soak it, it would be ground when she's back and she'll prepare it but I was a 'tuzaqueen'.
DeleteI folded the foil paper and then started prepared the Moi Moi. Well, it turned out just like yours and I shamed for myself.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteParis this your grammar have me headache. Are you writing in past or present tense?
DeleteEyahhh, ewwwww after all d effort!
DeleteYes o, the first time I spent a night at my guys house, I wanted to impress him by cooking yam and vegetable using the method my friend at school taught me.
ReplyDeleteOMG, I cooked total rubbish that night.
I couldn't even eat the food.
He ate o, I kept on asking him, "was it okay "?
He said yes. I don't know if he lied or not.
🤣🤣🤣@was it okay
DeleteI baked one meat pie like that, even my husband who can eat anything no matter how bad couldn't eat this one, we had to toss it.
ReplyDeleteAwww sorry. You can try it again.
Deletehmmm ...either baking powder was too much or butter wasn't enough. Any meatpie with any or d two of these mistakes will come out bad, else meatpie is generally an easy snack to make
DeleteLol the first time I made meat pie it was a disaster. The beef filling was great but the crust was horrible, soft and weird tasting. Apparently, the butter is supposed to be cold and hard when you mix it into the flour.
DeleteNow I just buy the pre-made crust, can’t stress myself abeg. My meat pie is now the bomb, using the store bought crust of course.
Butter has to be at room temperature. Take it out of the fridge and put on the table 2hrs before you start making your dough.
DeleteAwww i can teach you how to make meat pie ensure everyone thing you are using is cold even the water you may add to mix the dough. Then use enough margarine, then use just 2 eggs will be fine in the mixture and it doesnt need much of baking powder or soda. Ironically that is what i will be making on Xmas eve.
DeleteGreat advice with the butter. Will probably try that next time I summon courage to make it. Thanks guys
DeleteThis brings back memories.. Lol. I remember the first time I made jellof rice for my then boyfriend now husband I was turning the jellof rice like who was making garri. Oga had to ask me babe is it jellof rice you are making or eba chaii shame catch me that day
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI love trying out new recipes and I had a foodie for a friend who gladly volunteers and stops by whenever I experimented. He always teased about being my lab rat but never hesitated to remind me about calling him up whenever I tried something new.
ReplyDeleteThis particular day I decided to try out a Singaporean dish my friend prepared when I went over to his place. Sadly I couldn't get all the required ingredients because my friend had brought his ingredient over from his country but since his food tasted nice I ignored all the warning signs and decided to give it a shot. I had cooked meals in the past that came out nice for a first-timer so I figured same would happen for that particular dish even though on a first trial my expectation was unrealistically high.
I did not use the particular sauce, type of meat, a few key ingredients were missing. I survived the ordeal and we decided to try it out. Gracious me! It was a waste of precious time, waste of effort and I ended up throwing it all away. My friend seeing how sad I was told me it was okay and proposed we go out to their restaurant to order for the specific food I attempted upon however when he tasted the real deal he later confessed the former was a flop.
I always look forward to your write up❤️
DeleteAww first attempt is great cos it enables you to learn your mistakes and try it again
DeleteAwww. Thanks, my peach.❤
DeleteNo truer words have ever been spoken, Phoenix.🤗
I am a pro now, I guess. I have mastered the process and tweaked the recipe to my taste that at this point I believe I cook most of his dishes better than he does if I dare say so myself.
I remember last Christmas my sister asked me to prepare fried rice, she gave me a method which was not the usual method I use for my own fried rice.
ReplyDeleteThat was how it cam out all soggy looking like jollof.
She vex , prepared jollof for herself & her husband, while me and visitors were left to eat the fried rice. It was tasty though, just the feel & look.
I was angry that day ehh, I vex too.lol
Awww at least you enjoyed it and your guests
DeleteIt was the first time I cooked in my house. My early teenage years and I always pleaded with my mum to allow me cook. I remember it was during the festive season in the village so the house was full with my cousins and their parents.
ReplyDeleteI was asked to cook beans and when I was adding oil, my ancestors who were assisting me from my head kept telling me to add more oil. After adding plenty of it, they'd say that it wasn't enough and that I should add more. I was happy when I finished but trouble started when the food was dished, oil would occupy half of the plate and the beans would sit on the other half.
My auntie was like: "is the oil in the kitchen finished?"
I said no and she asked why I stopped adding more oil😫😫that's when I found out that I effed up with all my shakara then😩😩
🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂😂😂
Delete😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣kpele
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHahahahahahahahah.
DeleteThe day i made jollof spagetti for my husband. That was my first time of cooking. I put so much effort but the food turned out really salty cos of the canned sardine i used. I was so embarrassed ehn
ReplyDelete🙄🙄sorry
DeleteKamikaze where are thou
ReplyDeleteShe is typing....🏃🏃
DeleteSomeone once told me to cook stew I had to add sugar to make the tomatoes cook faster. I can't believe i did it
ReplyDeleteOMG 😂🤣🤣🤣
Deletea friend told me to add paracetamol to cook cow head. That it makes it soft like buka meat. I just waka leave her. Me wen they follow shout on top d awareness matter of how liver and kidney disease/failure is on d increase due to all d rubbish we now consume unknowingly.
DeleteWhen i was newly married and 7months pregnant,I stayed with my Inlaws,So i wanted to impressed them with my Native delicacy for Christmas , so i opted for Afang Soup.
ReplyDeleteDearest Honey,Bought Bush meat,Stock fish and big dried catfish.
So i was taken to Oba Market in Benin, i told the Leaf seller that i wanted Afang Leaf( Okazi) but my Village people made her bring Otazi.
She cut the Leaves for me and i got Home.
OMG after cooking the Soup and tasted it,It was So,So So bitter.
Everybody rejected the Soup,Washed the obstacles to eat.
It was only my Mother inlaw of Blessed Memory that ate the Soup.
That cried that day Hehnnnmn, The whole family spent Christmas consoling me.
Since this incidence almost17years ago,i buy Afang leaf from a Particular woman.
I can still taste the Bitterness thinking of that incidence
Awww...once bitten😄
DeleteOh dear. Sorry about the bad expirence.
DeleteHahahhahaahhahahaha so sorry madame but this here made me lwkmd.i enjoy afang aswell.
Deleteeyahhh, d quantity of otazi in d soup will even make it very bitter. I can imagine
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂 I can relate with the utazi stuff o.
DeleteThe day I wanted to cook okra soup with Uziza at home as I was thought in school too. The woman sold utazi to me instead of Uziza. Man! after cooking, looking forward to my family chopping my delicacy, only to taste the soup and it was BITTER!!!!! GOSH!.
My siblings left the soup for me.
Thank God my mom and dad like bitter things. They enjoyed the food shikina!!!
I remember before I got married,my boyfriend now hubby,told me to cook ogbono soup.i don't know if it was ogbono or ogbolo I cooked,it was so bad I couldn't even taste it twice,only for him to call me that he was coming with his friend.my people,I died and woke up,I just serve the food and run and hide myself.na both of them know how them take finish the food.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣@both of them know how them take finish d food
Deleteuntil recently, my ogbono use to be peculiar. But now, I learnt to mix d grounded ogbono with oil before mixing it with my meat stock. It will come out fine with enough crayfish, fresh yellow and red pepper, uzuza leaf/seed.
DeleteNna na one guy those days, asked me to cook beans for him, Only God knows how I added a bag of Anapuna salt to it. I died and woke up. Until today, that was the last day I saw him and to think I am a good cook now.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣want to kill son of man.
Deletebeans and oil friendship no dey always sweet, especially when plenty water follow join body. Lol
DeleteAh!!! Jollof rice, e no go better for you. So as a teenager, I made this really tasty sauce then poured my rice. When the food was done, I tasted a little, very tasteless. Mumsy was already shouting " gini ji gi n'kitchen? Jollof rice, o nwere aka bikonu?" (What's keeping you in the kitchen? Does the jollof rice have hands pls?)
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, babygirl was in panic mode, everyone was chilling for food and I just made trash. Thank God for insight, I salvaged the food with salt before dishing it, but mumsy wanted more and she went straight to MY pot without consulting me and took the original tasteless rice. When she started shouting "ahn ahn, nri nke a di tasteless, is this not the rice we just ate from? Me I just faced front o, I dunno what happened.
Haaaa, sometimes making jollof rice can be like playing ludo game. U may not be lucky enough to get double 6 all d time!
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
DeleteHaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣 sharp girl
Deletemany years ago, a guy who had been asking me out for months came to pick up from work. It was in December and I was very tired and wanted to just home and sleep. He insisted I come to know his place and when we got there, he proceeded to put rice on the fire and asked me to watch it while he goes out to buy drinks. The minute he left, I laid my head on the sofa and slept off. I only woke up when he came back and by then the smoke from the burning rice was everywhere. I only woke up to open the door for him and I felt really embarrassed. But he understood that I was tired.
ReplyDeleteWhen I got married, cooking was a big deal for me. But now it comes effortlessly. In fact, my family and friends look forward to eating at my house.
Eyahhh, I can imagine that kind tiredness. Thank God it didn't burn down the whole house.
DeleteAwww 🥰🥰🥰
DeleteAnother experience was abacha o. I was newly married then, so I decided to make abacha but it was the last batch, as in the bottom of the bag and I didn't know it was sandy.
ReplyDeleteYours truly finished making the tasty abacha with ugba and Oporo, served my in-laws including hubby. Ndi nkem,it was a sandy occasion. No one could eat a spoonful and being nice people, they didn't want to complain. Only hubby complained openly, chai I wanted to disappear that night.
Thank God for my parents in-law, ndi obioma. This my hubby eh, he's annoying and sweet too,be confusing my emotions.
Nne, it may not even be d abacha that is sandy, because u must have soaked it in water and drained it . If u used potash soaked in water and u used all of it, d whole food will come out sandy. Sorry dearie, hubby na guy man!
DeleteKai kpele i can imagine
DeleteI remember the first soup I cooked, my mum asked me to prepare egusi, I added enough bouillon cubes and salt so it will tasty because u wanted to impress her.
ReplyDeleteIt was awful, surprisingly she didn't scold me, she just told me to go easy with the seasoning.
I make the most horrible dishes whenever I am pregnant, I don't know why!
PROBABLY YOUR TASTEBUDS CHANGE DURING PREGNANCY.
Deleteegusi soup no dey hide Maggi o! Lol
Deleteand salt too! 😄 🤣 😂
DeleteAwww same here i still have salt and seasoning issues as well
DeleteI remember when I started baking. I was making a small dessert and it called for 1 TEAspoon of salt and I put 1 TABLEspoon. My father was my taster. He didn’t even pull his face. Just told me it was nice tho the salt was too much. Na me pull face when I taste am.
ReplyDeleteMine was when I gained admission to study in the same school with my brother, this my brother loves beans ehn. One day his friends came around feeling very hungry so my brother told me to go and cook beans since we lived together, how I wished I had nagged myself out of cooking but I wanted to impress one of his friend I was crushing on.
DeletePeople of God! When it was time to put salt I mixed up the detergent for salt since we used similar container, all of a sudden my brother went and opened the pot since the aroma of the beans was inviting and they were already praising me... Hey! That's how the beans I was cooking started foaming and I was confused and was already blaming the woman that sold the palm oil that her oil is not a good one.
Only for my brother to ask me which container I scooped the salt from, and I pointed to the detergent container.. na like so church take close that day
Hahaha giftmoesha ur own pass my own. That na beans wey wash itself lol.
DeleteWhen I was younger my mum doesn't allow anyone to cook for her,so I grew up not knowing how to cook.
ReplyDeleteA guy I was dating at that time asked me to come cook for them cos his cook wasn't feeling well so he didn't come.my people hot shit catch me,his cousin and younger brother were around that day and I visited alone (normally I visit with my friends and one can cook very well) infact I just poured the blended tomatoes inside the oil without cook-drying the water first.after everything it was like I gave them raw blended tomatoes to eat.my bf can eat anything but u see that his younger brother,na werey,he just screamed"ha Ada eshiela nri ojoo o,oga gba na vanguard o.The headline go be girl cooked horrible stew in no22 wushishi road". I was so embarrassed.it was the cousin that came into the kitchen and told me not to worry.she now put back the stew on fire until it was cooked.
Now I'm a badass cook that my friends and family can't get enough of my food.
Ejike u be weyrey.
Mine was semovita... That shit can disgrace.. Well na only how to make garri dem teach me then but had to learn from my sis later
ReplyDeleteSalt dey disgrace person. Eba don disgrace me. Akamu don disgrace me. Semo don disgrace me. Jollof don disgrace me.
DeleteI can make anything with cooking. sometimes I imagine some food and when I make them it's excellent. but when it's comes to baking I think I was absent when God was giving that talent. I tried sharwama bread once and it was like the bread Jesus broke with his disciples for last supper. my hubby just look am and said u for just allow me buy 350 naira sharwama bread in peace instead of wasting resources. I said please no vex lemme sharply spag with the chicken and other things. I can try puff puff too very well
ReplyDeleteFirst time I tried making fried rice was a disaster. My brothers ate it & said ‘why is this rice tasting not enough spice’ in other words, y is it tasteless. I guess they didn’t want to use ‘tasteless’ so as not to hurt my feelings. The sad part was I made it plenty ooo. Thank God there was stew. Na stew we take use chop the rice ooo.
ReplyDeleteI have been laughing so hard, sweet Lord, We all have crazy kitchen/cooking moments..hahahahaaa
ReplyDeleteMine was Custard.
ReplyDeleteMy mum finished me in front of a visitor. I wan cry.
The visitor drank the custard with seed like that.
Second was Moi-Moi. Dad was about going out so I told him to wait and eat before leaving. He waited for the Moi-Moi to get ready only for it to come out watery.
He ate it like that though.
My dad hardly complain.
Fathers are great!
DeleteMy dad too doesn't complain, he would rather correct. He gave the courage that made me never to give up on cooking cos back then I used to have issues with salt especially with my bean and ogbono.
I didn't know the quantity of salt you put in rice is difference from what you put in beans especially the honey beans. My dad thought me how to make garden egg sauce,ikokore(ijebu delicacies), coconut rice and lots more.
But you see my brothers they have a very bad mouth but they are also good cook.
Now I so much love my cooking that my hubby find it difficult to eat outside.