Hmmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
UNREPENTANT HUSBAND
Hello my pipu,
This is the first chronicle or should I say story I am sending. I have been a beevee for about 5 years. So let me quickly go to the story, I will try to make it short, abeg pardon me I don't know how to write concisely but I go try.
I celebrated my 15th wedding anniversary on the 30th of October and its given me a lot to reflect on. My father sent my mum away with 6 children and a pregnancy and we suffered no be small.
After my O'levels, which I did many times because I no sabi English, I got an o'levels appointment with one of the federal government offices as a clerical officer. So I was working and went for my OND. Then I met my husband, he already graduated with his HND but had no job. We got married and I was the sole provider for the family. When I noticed the HND discrepancy in my office, I insisted that he had to do professional exams to bridge the gap. I took loans to sponsor his professional education and he was able to gain two. By this time I already had two children, when I was pregnant for my third baby, my office wanted to recruit. So I went to my bosses to beg them, I was a junior staff and the sole breadwinner for a family of 4.
They told me there was a non-fraternisation policy and I would have to leave my job and then they would give him the employment.
I considered it and it seemed worthwhile to me, I was stagnated because of the level of my education and he will come in as a senior staff so I agreed. I wrote my resignation letter and went to the head office and as God will have it, the person said no need for me to resign and my husband got the job. You can imagine the happiness, by this time I had been married for 9 years with 3 kids and I was the only one catering to the family needs.
I considered it and it seemed worthwhile to me, I was stagnated because of the level of my education and he will come in as a senior staff so I agreed. I wrote my resignation letter and went to the head office and as God will have it, the person said no need for me to resign and my husband got the job. You can imagine the happiness, by this time I had been married for 9 years with 3 kids and I was the only one catering to the family needs.
The government first paid them one huge amount that we (my husband and I) have never seen in our lives as his onboarding package. We had planned what to do with the money, to start up a small business and buy a land, that's how my husband changed and diverted the money and eventually lost all.
Since I have been taking care of the family, I thought things would improve and they did a little bit, the arrangement was that he would handle school fees and house rent while I handle feeding but I still found myself taking loans whenever school fees or house rent payment approached. My husband will buy lunch for colleagues and leave me his wife. No wahala, I accepted him like that. Then because he worked in accounts, he knew every time I got extra allowances from my department and would have planned how we would spend the money. One of such times, it was to buy a land and start building, the other time it was to buy our first car.
About 4 years ago, I just had this urge to further my education, I had been stagnated for about 7 years and I had been working for around 16 years at the time. I broached the topic with my husband but he was disinterested, I had to write GCE again, get admission and did a conversion course then proceeded with my HND. The experience in school awakened something in me and I decided to go for a professional certification after that. I didn't give my self a breathing space, my husband will make comments like what am I trying to achieve, I should calm down. I was broke and my husband couldn't give a kobo to assist me and worse still expected me to keep contributing to the home. I took loans and borrowed money, because we worked in the same organisation, I didn't think it was appropriate to be begging men upandan and if you know government workers, they don't care if your husband is their friend, they will sleep with you and even announce it.
Since I have been taking care of the family, I thought things would improve and they did a little bit, the arrangement was that he would handle school fees and house rent while I handle feeding but I still found myself taking loans whenever school fees or house rent payment approached. My husband will buy lunch for colleagues and leave me his wife. No wahala, I accepted him like that. Then because he worked in accounts, he knew every time I got extra allowances from my department and would have planned how we would spend the money. One of such times, it was to buy a land and start building, the other time it was to buy our first car.
About 4 years ago, I just had this urge to further my education, I had been stagnated for about 7 years and I had been working for around 16 years at the time. I broached the topic with my husband but he was disinterested, I had to write GCE again, get admission and did a conversion course then proceeded with my HND. The experience in school awakened something in me and I decided to go for a professional certification after that. I didn't give my self a breathing space, my husband will make comments like what am I trying to achieve, I should calm down. I was broke and my husband couldn't give a kobo to assist me and worse still expected me to keep contributing to the home. I took loans and borrowed money, because we worked in the same organisation, I didn't think it was appropriate to be begging men upandan and if you know government workers, they don't care if your husband is their friend, they will sleep with you and even announce it.
I had to keep my dignity and propel the image of my husband. I suffered no be small o. To think I single handedly sponsored two professional degrees for this man and feed him almost 10 years in marriage. I accepted and moved on.
I graduated and finished my professional degree and was made a senior staff and promoted finally, guess how my husband rewarded me? He started having an affair. My husband I will say I haven't known him to cheat, he will even condemn friends and colleagues cheating and his friends even used to say, this your husband different, he no dey cheat. Well, it is either he was faithful or covering his tracks very well.
I graduated and finished my professional degree and was made a senior staff and promoted finally, guess how my husband rewarded me? He started having an affair. My husband I will say I haven't known him to cheat, he will even condemn friends and colleagues cheating and his friends even used to say, this your husband different, he no dey cheat. Well, it is either he was faithful or covering his tracks very well.
I uncovered the affair and confronted him. He apologised and said he has broken it off. He deleted the girl's number and all but I didn't know my husband was such a great actor. It was like I didn't know him at all, my husband went on his knees and apologised, it was the devil blah blah, he won't do it again.
His phone rang and he stood up, then he went to start his car, early in the morning, I was like where are you going, I went to the car, put off the ignition and took the key, my husband almost slapped me for the first time in 14 years of marriage. The same man that just stood up from begging on his knees not quiet 10 minutes. The girlfriend even got my number, I don't know how to insult me that I am an illiterate and all. I thank God I went back to school because it would have pained me alot and the girl is still in school.
His family had to intervene and he apologised again and I just let him be.
Betrayal and unfaithfulness are shocking but what broke my heart the most was when I was virtually penniless, remember I am still paying of educational loans and all, I have been managing and doing concoction food for the family for some weeks. So a colleague has a poultry and she agreed to give me chicken on credit until salary comes, so I asked my husband to give me some money to buy tomatoes and co. He gave me 500 hundred naira that he doesn't have money and left the house. Not up-to 5 minutes, a text message came to my phone(I lost my phone so my husband gave me his other phone but had his second sim inside the phone) lo and behold it was a debit alert, my husband transferred 75k to this same girl.
Betrayal and unfaithfulness are shocking but what broke my heart the most was when I was virtually penniless, remember I am still paying of educational loans and all, I have been managing and doing concoction food for the family for some weeks. So a colleague has a poultry and she agreed to give me chicken on credit until salary comes, so I asked my husband to give me some money to buy tomatoes and co. He gave me 500 hundred naira that he doesn't have money and left the house. Not up-to 5 minutes, a text message came to my phone(I lost my phone so my husband gave me his other phone but had his second sim inside the phone) lo and behold it was a debit alert, my husband transferred 75k to this same girl.
I called him to just turn and come back home that there's an emergency. He got home and I asked him, you left the house 10 minutes ago and I asked you for money to buy tomatoes to make stew for you and your children and you gave me 500 naira. He said is that the emergency and swore on heaven and earth that he didn't have money. Then I showed him the alert on his phone and he was speechless. He begged again and that's where I drew the line, I told him I am no longer contributing a dime to the house, I am not contributing to the building project, if he likes when house rent expires he shouldn't pay.
When is time for school fees, let them send the kids home, if there is no food, let us be hungry. I am sure he thought it was a joke, my pipu, I feel so liberated. Since I stopped contributing to the house, I finished paying off my loans. I bough a land that I am developing small small and I bought my own car, all these in a year, I can't believe that I could attain such personal growth in so little time and I have been working for 20 years.
He has begged and all and I have forgiven him but I told him, I can never trust him again and my kobo will never mix with his. It's when you have money you will be spending on girls. I told him, I won't have an affair and diminish my self worth, not because he deserves a faithful wife but it's my own honor and dignity. Now if we need salt and maggi, go and ask daddy. I will cook what I want when he's not around and feed my kids well, I take them out and we enjoy ourselves. He is like a lovesick puppy because oga is always broke, abeg we move!
Hmmmmmmmmm;NA WAH::WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE SEE THESE KIND OF MEN TO MARRY SEF?
He has begged and all and I have forgiven him but I told him, I can never trust him again and my kobo will never mix with his. It's when you have money you will be spending on girls. I told him, I won't have an affair and diminish my self worth, not because he deserves a faithful wife but it's my own honor and dignity. Now if we need salt and maggi, go and ask daddy. I will cook what I want when he's not around and feed my kids well, I take them out and we enjoy ourselves. He is like a lovesick puppy because oga is always broke, abeg we move!
Hmmmmmmmmm;NA WAH::WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE SEE THESE KIND OF MEN TO MARRY SEF?
Thank God for your awakening
ReplyDeleteI'm just so happy with the ending, thank God for the liberation.
DeleteStella, you asked the question on my mind!
DeleteFor 9 years, her husband was IDLE (no business, no skilled work) YET poster was busy feeding him and popping babies!Then she slaved to train him through 2 professional courses, begged and got him employed. Is he handicapped or incapacitated??? 🤦♀️🙄
Of course, such a man will go and flex for another babe that hasn't seen him finish.
You were feeding him, buying a car, land and opening your legs to serve him sex without borders while he was catching his groove with sweet sixteen. NGAWNU! O seti go!!!
Woman, you are the architect of your own woes!😖
Way to go girl. Never ho back to contributing to the upkeep. She should continue from where you stopped.
DeleteIs this not what I was saying on the post about how much is in the house if wife has 50k and husband has 10k???
DeleteI know some of you here would recognize my handwriting.
Love your husband but be wise as a serpent and calm as a dove . Na so
Poster we mouveeee 😅😅😅😅👍
DeleteI don't know most men are like this. The moment they have money, they forget their humble beginning and start spending on other women.
DeleteThank God you took that decision. Focus on your kids and yourself, ignore his cheating ass.
15:59, she is not an architect of any rubbish woes. She has a bad man. Simple!
DeleteThere are others that will appreciate!
Anon 16:40! God bless you, its good to be good, perhaps thats why God keeps blessing the poster.
DeleteShe is smart to have stopped helping when she did.
Some men are so ungrateful and unrepentant.
DeleteI like your style but don't let him give you STDs. I like the fact that you went back to school if not, that man would have traumatized you to depression.
Keep loving yourself and serving your God.
That man that refused to collect your Resignation letter na good man.
16:40, she is the architect of her downfall!! How the hell would you feed and cater to a grown ass man for 10 plus years??? She finally stopped and now he woke up! Bad man or not, he got very comfortable!!! And poster allowed it. Periodt!
DeleteThis kind of men are everywhere. They make small change and their color will be out, very red and bright. It’s just a human thing, terrible behavior
DeleteOfcourse, BV Dante left the group.
DeleteThis woman poster! You have encouraged me to develop myself more. I am single but I am encouraged by you. Please Bvs with stories on self development send ooo. Madam you really tried.....
DeleteKami you are making me laugh this evening 😂😂😂😂😊
DeleteStella this is why we always say women should marry a man that provides and is financially well off more than her. Building a man never ends well as you can see. Have your own money but make sure that man contributes 80% to the upkeep of the house, Bill's, school fees so he doesn't give that money to women outside. Men don't really care how loyal or how much you suffered. You guys need to learn that men will prey on the weak and use any woman usable. They are wired to be wolves and take advantage.
DeleteWell done poster on taking that decision and actually following through. What you experienced is the result of marrying a broke man. You can never truly know the character of a man when he has no job or money. Best wishes for the future and keep soaring....
ReplyDelete15:09 Your head dey there 👍✊
DeleteTheir true character comes out when money enter.
Please where are those Bvs that were writing long epistle on the post on why men cheat the other time? I just read the comments and shook my head that the poster wasn't trying to justify why men cheat. He was trying to get women to see the different things that can make a man cheat. Here in today's chronicle is a glaring example of what that poster was trying to say.
DeleteToday's poster, I hail you. You indeed are a wise, smart, diligent woman. Don't blame yourself on any level. I already have a picture of you in my head and I know you will do more exploits. As for this man, he deserves everything he is getting and more eventhough I will acknowledge that he is not a stupid man. He just wanted to feel among and riding on the kid gloves you have spoilt him with. He will grow up. I know your anger will eventually thaw but for as long as you find it comfortable, enjoyable, peace in your spirit, please continue and no further.
I pray sweetness, trust, wholesomeness, warmth and healing returns fully for good in your home very soon. So you know the sweetness and ease that comes with true synergy in marriage.
Her husband is so spoilt. She absolutely did nothing wrong. She did what a good person and wife would do. You have proven how extremely smart you are so whatever decisions you make about your life is the best, I am sure. Wishing you everything good, Poster. You deserve it.
DeleteHe is a very stupid man, extremely stupid. Only a stupid man will give his wife 500 to make stew and send 75k to a babe outside that doesn't send him. Why should your wife and kids suffer because you are cheating?
DeleteWhat happened to giving his wife 50k and giving gf 25k? He is not only stupid but senseless.
Very foolish. Adding curses to his head.
DeleteIf you must have a side piece, I'd say split it 65 and 10. The wife is taking care of 4 children and the girlfriend is saving for bone straight hair that she would use to woo another man she would also train in school and bet me, the guy would them turn out to be useless like her sugar Daddy.
DeleteThank God you have woken up and decided to care for yourself. That man deserves nothing from you after all you did for him.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine. Wtf 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏
ReplyDeleteThat's a man for u...with time, the seemingly great actors slip up. It's good you are wiser now.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing and I appreciate your patience and endurance in the face of such a great provocation.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I will say here is that, people can be "good,"; yes, apparently good. But if such righteousness is not based on faith in Christ, they will quickly unravel once the "wind" blows. It could be good or bad winds. In your husband's case, it was "good wind,"; he got employed and got money. Money does not guarantee happiness. It cannot save. You cannot serve God and money.
My advice to you lady is to develop yourself also in godliness; making Jesus your Lord, studying the Word of God, fasting, praying regularly. You will find the true meaning of life and Love. Cheers.
Mtchewwww!
DeleteDear poster,please ignore this advice and stick to your INDABOSKY mode!
@Veteran
DeleteWill you not rather concentrate on giving advice instead of policing the post to advice the poster on which advice to "ignore" or accept?
What is wrong in telling a lady to get closer to God, are you anti-God?
Did she mention anywhere that she is a Christian? Or you just assumed everyone on this blog must "making Jesus your Lord, studying the Word of God, fasting, praying regularly"?
DeleteMeanwhile, Christ said "carry your cross and follow me". He never said anyone who follows him is safe from the tribulations of this life.
Always remember that Stella's blog is circular. It is not a religious blog and you can't stuff your faith down people's throats; it makes Christianity unattractive.
@Saphire
Deletethis diabolic fury is unnecessary. I only gave a piece of advice to a lady who wrote in a chronicle. Christ whom you quoted above told us his followers to "preach the gospel to EVERY CREATURE." So if an ant can hear the gospel, I am under obligation from by Lord to preach to it. So
I did not "stuff anything down anybody's throat." You chose to read my comment instead of ignoring it. Cheers.
Melo na you. Nice advice. Nothing more than Jesus
DeleteAng you don’t have to comment to every damn chronicle!!!!
Delete@Mao
DeletePlease I am not Melody. Go to the previous post, I corrected what you assumed. thanks.
@****, some times,we dont need to preach with words, as a matter of fact in this day and age, let your life style do the preaching...this blog is secular yes, and when offering advice, accept that not all will believe or are believers in Christ. Have an open attitude,be truthful but not judgemental, let people at least know you are human and fallible...lastly do not condemn those who do not have the same perspective as yours. I come in peace!
Delete@18:40
DeleteAll these seminar is because I asked a lady to get closer to God? Well, show me the judgment. Just a piece of advice and you are all trembling?
Where did I condemn. Are you sure I am not the one you all are condemning for giving this lady a piece of advice?
Let me edit this advice. Poster, advise your husband to make Jesus his lord and all that but you, seek God for grace to continue to shine your eye and brighten your destiny in that marriage. When you were doing Proverbs 31 woman, it is N500 they gave you. No lose guard o!
DeleteBut nothing more than getting closer to God. You guys should leave **** alone. #HerOpinion, the ultimate #Jesus
DeleteWhat men do not understand is when they come/stay together with their wives, they achieve so much. No one is saying men should not cheat for some that must cheat, but do not forget or reject your family. Very painful when you see a man you have sacrificed for spending outside at the detriment of the family.
ReplyDeleteOh yea, you move.
Baltika the cheating is loophole from which the devil sucks out the good thing in the family.
DeleteA cheating man has divided attention, finances, emotions, strength etc.
They don't know at all. There is so much power in unity!!!
DeleteThank God for you.
ReplyDeleteGood for him. He deserves what he got.
My mantra is aka onye wetere ka e ji e so ya.
I pity men who toy with women's emotions. When it backfires, it is like a tornado.
ReplyDeleteBut madam, your home is far from being repaid. Bring Jesus in quickly and let his light shine on your home. Train your kids in him, so that they won't turn out like their dad, especially the boys. 💋💋💋💋💋
Am in the same dilemma as yours
ReplyDeleteTry to apply the poster's approach and see if it will work for you. Remember there is no manual to a successful marriage. In all hand everything to God in prayer.
DeleteLovelace
15:16 stop taking up a man's role. STOP PICKING UP BILLS!!!! 😤
DeleteIf per chance you must, ensure you demand he pays back with interest at 5% or 10% flat.
You emasculated a man when you do what he should do.
You *emascilate* (sorry)
DeleteEmasculate is correct.
DeleteI never marry, but marriage dey fear me, if I hear watin una way don marry dey suffer...tufiakwa
ReplyDeleteAll marriages are not sufferhead don’t have that mindset, do not be scared.
DeleteJust make sure that as a woman you have a source of income and you marry a man that is first kind and responsible. Do not marry for the sake of marriage, or as poverty alleviation program o.
My parents had a good marriage, I have a good marriage so they exist.
University and this blog is what have opened my eyes to the other side of marriage for people, and what I can tell you is make sure you have found yourself before rushing into any marriage or you could lose yourself.
You marriage shouldn’t be your defining factor, you should have a life and other things out of it. So that you don’t start thinking it’s an achievement and become desperate to do and undo in order to enter and keep it.
Do not be scared, there are still a lot of good marriages out there, a lot of them don't just go out shouting over the rooftops.
DeleteThere are lots of marriages that are heaven on earth, I always look up to that
DeleteYeye man
ReplyDeleteI'm happy it turned out for your good,keep it up,hope your properties are in your name?.
DeleteI'm happy you choose not to be loose because of your husband I dare say I'm proud of you. It gladdens my heart that you do not take out the frustration on your children...My darling,your story is one to learn from.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, she kept her dignity intact in spite of the challenges,👍
DeleteShe is so wise and I pray some bvs learn from it and develop themselves without listening to what some pastors or anyone will tell you about how to run your home/s.
DeleteMarriage doesn't have a formula, as you see it, develop your own formula that will work for you and back it up with prayers simple. I don't follow or read some of these 0-10 years in marriage preachers.
I don't know why some men are so foolish! They meet and marry a virtuous woman, a woman that is willing to sacrifice and build with them, they'll still find a way to jeopardize their lives.
ReplyDeletePoster, you're such a good woman. I am so happy for your achievements, bless you.
I love your stand, do not relent, continue to let him shoulder all the home expenses, he will now understand how valuable you are to him and the whole family.
Women like you are rare nowadays.
Respect 🤗
Eh....women like her are everywhere actually. Stories like this don't trend on social media which is why I always advise we should look around us instead of depending solely on social media narratives.🤷♀️
DeleteI know so many women carrying their homes, some even still suffer domestic violence on top.
DeleteBecause men are very smart. They marry good women to raise their kids, keep a home, give finances and raise their kids but still living single. Sounds like a sweet sweet life
DeletePoster, you tried! You are a real MVP! I like how you improve and develop yourself to earn the promotion. Please keep your finances separate from his. Buy properties in your maiden name and your children's name. Make him carry his financial responsibilities, don't pity him! You have tried, after all you are just a helpmeet.
ReplyDeleteSome people show their real colour when they come upon money suddenly!
God will uphold and sustain you!
I'm happy you choose not to be loose because of your husband I dare say I'm proud of you. It gladdens my heart that you do not take out the frustration on your children...My darling,your story is one to learn from.
ReplyDeleteFor your husband to apologize, get up on his knees and go straight to this lady? I sense a spell working on him.
ReplyDeleteIf you love that man, the father of your kids, get on your knees and pray him out of it.
Pray ko, kabash ni. Ask the werey to pray for himself and discipline his dick.
DeleteTaah,nothing like spell,he had money to spend then,no money now equals staying faithful.
Delete@Babe
DeleteDid you read the part; "if you love that man?" It is a suggestion, my opinion, my freedom of speech.
This lady hasn't told us that she divorced this man, did she?
Mbok, leave spell out of this o, spell bawo🙄
DeleteThere is no jazz involved and you can take that to the bank. He is just an irresponsible man who knows there will be no consequence for his actions. Same thing I was compelled to tell my elder brother’s wife. She was getting lean and ugly from constantly fasting and worrying over a wandering dick. Eventually I had to call her aside and tell her the truth. No one was jazzing my brother it’s just that he’s always been a very selfish and greedy person. In the beginning he couldn’t exactly afford to misbehave because he was extremely busy trying to achieve professional excellence. But now, he’s cruising round Lagos forming beard gang. Since she got that revelation from me, she’s added weight and gotten her shine back. She’s stopped cooking for him, moved out of their bedroom and squarely focuses on the kids. She’s contemplating moving out and she has my full blessings and support. He’s complained about her neglecting her marital duties to everyone but me. I don’t condone misbehavior from anyone.
DeleteYimu
DeleteWhere was the spell when he was a broke ass?
Thanks anon, I sent the story in and this was the reaction from people, it's not normal and it jazz. I don't know and I can't say but what I know is even if na juju; he put himself in vulnerable position spiritually to be jazzed. Can I start having affairs and say i was jazzed? When I told the people that brought up the idea, they just kept quiet. If the situation were to be reversed, will people absolve me of responsibility and reason that self control was beyond my power as a married woman with 3 kids?
Delete15:19 there is NO SPELL on that wicked man!
DeleteMen that go for and stick to single babes or other women DO SO INTENTIONALLY to catch their groove.
Then when such men do not pick bills at home, they have excess to go EGO-TRIPPING on single babes.
Men love MONEY, POWER & WOMEN. The first two gets them the third.
So make sure your husband has no loose change to flex on females.
@15:51
DeleteCongratulations. You just separated what God joined together. Congrats.
Taah,nothing like spell,he had money to spend then,no money now equals staying faithful.
DeleteEven its jazz, he enabled it one way or the other.
DeleteThe first two *get* them the third.
DeleteMistake 🖕🙏
Spell ko, spelling bee ni.
DeleteThere is no jazz anywhere, the man is just an irresponsible fellow.
Poster continue to protect your sanity and happiness.
You and your children first every time you need to make a decision.
Anon 16:23 if you don’t get away from my sight! I didn’t separate anyone. My coconut head brother betrayed his wife and God by committing sin upon sin of adultery. Matter of fact, I saved her life because she may have fallen into the hands of false prophets while looking for a solution to a problem that wasn’t hers. If she eventually decides to leave, you can have my brother and tolerate his philandering ways. With your comment I believe you’re a desperate woman with her esteem in the gutter. Take your silly self out of here! I love my brother but can’t allow a good woman suffer for nothing.
Delete@17:03
DeleteAdultery? Yes. But
Allow the wife to make the call to divorce her husband, not you making that call.
If a man wrote in on a philandering wife, non of you will excuse her as being jazzed. Na only woman sabi do jazz for man. Mtcheeewww...
DeleteOh I see. ANG is alive and well in the comment section. Selective blindness as usual. If you cannot read to understand without bias then treat your malaria without involving me. SIL is making all the calls concerning her marriage. All I did was to inform her of the fact that she should note that my brother has always been very selfish and greedy right from when we were siblings. It was something my mum beat him for severally. I did that to save her from self destruction from inadequacy and the need to find answers. Right now the ball is in her court and she’s making the best decision for her peace of mind.
Delete17:03, women supporting women🍸🍸🍸🍸
Delete17:30, please just fem!!! Until una see say women die untop marriage, una no de give up,🙄🙄🙄🙄
@Saphire
DeleteHow many men have ever written a chronicle or comment about going to mediums to tie a woman down. It is the stock in trade of desperate women.
That is what it is.
Spell ko, hallucination ni.
Delete18:03 you are doing well. I love you for being a good sister in law who speaks the truth.
DeletePoster's man was not jazzed in my opinion. He showed his lack of discipline from the beginning of the chronicle to the end. He does not love his wife and children, only uses them to form responsible man outside. He will likely continue in his philandering ways. He knows that if the poster leaves no one else will put up with his rubbish and pamper him on top.
Spell ko, draw ni. How many men have been held under spells by women in their 80s with only two teeth left? How many have been held by homosexual men? Which jazz did Camilla use to hold Prince Charles? Be deceiving yourself. When your husband was running after you because you fit his budget, did you jazz him?
DeletePoster/16:04 anon...
DeleteYou really suffered... That loan aspect, I know how stressful it is to repay a LOAN let alone making it a kind of continuous process, and your man didn't even care. Keep developing your house gradually.
A REWARD for such situation is what you did and are doing. WE WOMEN should WAKE UP.
Chronicle of the year.
I don't know how you women do this to yourself, I can never love a man to that level. The worst thing is, some women still won't learn, I thank God for you because it's not too late before you were liberated
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Exactly like WTF? Nice comment Larry.
DeleteThank God you finally woke up!
ReplyDeleteKudos!!!!
Love how to ate handling it
ReplyDeleteThank God you never resigned,he would have showed you double shege,keep saving and enjoy yourself with the kids. Na person wey get enough dey find woman.
ReplyDeleteThe 'shegeness' fr strong gan, if toh say she is at his Mercy for money, see her even contributing a quota and the man still misbehaving, chai
DeleteYes ohhhhh. Imagine if poster had resigned, he for Don drag her for ground so teyyy.
DeleteWomen about to be married, and even married, hold your source of income well ooooooo, its too risky to be solely dependent on any human being for sustenance.
Strong woman, I am so proud of you for going back to school and getting your grove back. God will remember and reward you for your good. Sending you all my love.
ReplyDeleteNice strategy and I am glad it worked for you.
ReplyDeleteThe heart of a man. I thank God you listened to your inner self and pushed through with your education. Why do people change so much when their money and status improve? You literally slaved for him during the rough days and he repayed you by slinging shit in your face. For the family a mere 500 for the mistress 75k. How can a man deprive his own family to that degree, look at the disparity🙆🏾
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to bless you and your children. Stay strong and keep pushing through. You will see all your dreams come true.
I hope after footing the bills In the house, he still has change fr the mistress, d girl go don Japa sef ,cos responsibilities don hook oga fr throat.
DeleteYou see all these side chicks dt won't mind themselves, but still go ahead and be abusing the wife, I beat drum down for you ooo,
Most wives are financing the man you are drooling over, continue.
Because she behaved like a slave @your second question.
DeleteSlave-owners rarely treat them right.
Poster, 15 years a slave.
You chose to be. 🤷♀️
That part upset me. Even if you hate your wife, do you hate your children?
DeleteWhat matters is that she is free now. Poster your children will call you blessed. I am just wondering how hungry they would have been had you not been strong.
DeleteI love you woman🤗🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteI was really getting angry till until towards the end, madam please don't change your mind, continue to give that heartless man a taste of his own coin. Many men are really turning useless when they meet independent women.
ReplyDeleteIf a man doesn't have money, his true character hasn't surfaced. Your husband doesn't love you, he was with you because of what you offered. Now he has his own and he wants to leave you. So you would have become jobless for this man to have a job? Women, when would you people love your own selves?
ReplyDeleteA broke man is only as faithful as his options. If u wanna know a man's true character, then go for a man with some money that is financially stable and already made it in life. If I say that one now, some people will call me golddigger and tell me that women are not entitled to their men's money
Delete. Are u not seeing an example of why women should look for provider abilities and financial stability in a man now???
Some of my not so financially buoyant Male friends I know their spec of babe and then see the kind of babes they carry and I smh. Very different and glaring that they are going for what they can afford at the moment. Ladies, open your eyes when dealing with men. They can conceal true intentions very well esp when they need your help and money and sex. The fact that a man marries a woman does not mean that she is his dream girl..that's why marriage is not so spectacular again. Sometimes na condition, sometimes she is a placeholder to help him level up to be financially okay so that he can leave to be with the woman of his dreams. Men cannot do without a woman in their lives so they will settle with what they can get in the meantime. Ladies open your eyes very well.
Nawa for most men ooo. It's when they don't have money that they are sober. Let them have small change,na wahala. Should we now be praying for them not to have? In my humble opinion and from learning from experiences, let the man of the house do the bulk. Just be saving and do the little you can for your children. God said the man is the head of the family and they should act like one.
ReplyDeleteThank God for you poster. Well, nothing is too late. I thank God for your liberation. I know you will be looking younger and fresher by now.
No o. They will say you are a golddigger and feeling entitled to a man's money. Shebi they are seeing the result of not seeking out financially well of man now. Let them keep deceiving themselves. If men wanna be head of house they should provide head of house money or get lost. Simple
DeleteMadam Stella, this is also my question.... where on earth do people find these kind of men....?
ReplyDeletePoster, well done and congratulations! Hope other blog visitors learn that they can also be empowered and should not stay stagnant.
They men are everywhere but only God gives good gifts.
DeleteMadam, I honestly hail you - na man you be. You deserve paise, I don't have the emotional will to put you under the bus as much as I wish I could.
ReplyDeleteThank God you realise on time to take good care of yourself.
May God continue to fight for you and open up many doors for you to continue glowing.
No Ma, the poster is a woman. Not a man. Her husband is a man.
DeleteThank you.
No na woman she be. Stop diminishing women and their efforts. Strength and smartness aren't gend3r specific.
Deletethis is just sad. Madam, thank God you went back to school and you have even offset your loans. May God continue to bless and protect yu.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately for your husband, that girl will be his Karma, She is just using him to pay her school bills. when she is through, she will pull the rug from underneath his feet. Stand firm madam
Which kind of government work do u pple make all ds money from? Na wah o.
ReplyDeleteNo let pants wear you o, money de government job
DeleteFIRS, CBN, EFCC are they not govt work?
DeleteThank you for not falling my hand. keep it moving and don't relent on your decision. Keep improving yourself and your kids....
ReplyDeleteKeep it up lady. So so proud of your strategy.
ReplyDelete“He’s humble” Na lie, he’s broke. A broke man goes with the woman available, let him have small money you’ll know his real spec.
ReplyDeleteMadam I don’t feel sorry for you. Time and money you could have used to develop yourself you wasted on a dusty who has now shown you his real self.
You women should stop funding brokemen and their lifestyles, I don’t even understand how a broke man will be able to make someone wet. How will your body be relaxed when your money is being spent for every damn thing.
Women know your worth o...you’re a prize that should be earned. Stop doing Bob the builder.
Let's hear word abeg. Internet warriors
DeleteBut she did develop herself and she is continuing to develop herself. Why abuse her for upholding the vows of her marriage? She helped her husband like countless women do daily. Michelle helped Barack, Pauletta helped Denzel when he was a starving actor. I don't think she deserves abuse because her husband chose to be dishonorable. She is a virtuous woman and her blessings are rolling in. He is the los
Deleteer in this because if he should take down sick tomorrow the mistress will pack up and move on to the next, it's this same wife he will be turning to for aid. That's what these cheaters don't realize and some found out much too late, their mistress is only good in fair weather, let the storms of life come they will see the truth.
She married a jobless man. Denzel was working and providing for his family albeit not high paying jobs. But he was a provider. Michelle and Obama met at an Ivy League school where they each pulled their weight.
DeletePlease leave that dusty narrative behind. This woman married a jobless man and played husband for how many years again? Then she’s surprised that he doesn’t suddenly wake up and become a provider.
Women go through child rearing, child birth, and all that sweet stuff, and they still let themselves get saddled with being provider, with a cheating parasite.
Rejected Biko.
Whatever the case may be she turned herself around and improved herself and is continuing to improve herself. Her past is not her present nor her future. Her past is over and done with and you and a million like you cannot change that she is a woman of substance today, who picked herself up and turned her life around. You can carry her past like a bucket of water on your head, but she is far from her past and is victorious today. Her story may not be for you, but someone today will read her story and be inspired by it. Her life will be an inspiration to someone and that nobody can take away from her. Many will come and put her down, but her story will still lift someone else up.
DeleteKudos to you poster. No matter what any say about you or how you chose to live your life your life will inspire another woman today. And if you really want to go further you can write a book or even do motivation speaking. Many will live and not live to inspire not one person in their entire lifetime, you are far along ahead than many. Keep pushing through and hold your head up.
Nothing wrong in what she did. She put her husband first which is not a crime. If her husband was a good man he will forever appreciate her and never joke with her. I know a story similar to poster's own,the man doesn't joke with his wife.
DeleteAt least appreciate the part where she turned things around.
DeleteYour delivery is quite harsh but I support you 100%. Naija women need to stop giving these dusty men their backs to lean on financially and start giving them butts to kiss. The economy is hard right now so naija men are in serious survival mode. Many are marrying out if desperation and a need to have financial support and visas. Many naija men are serious opportunists and users . But when it Is a womans turn to seek out a male provider (which mind u us the natural order of things) all of a sudden she is a golddigger.
DeleteNo matter what u can't disrupt the natural order. God made men to be financial providers of the home and women to be the nurturers, the birth givers, the home makers. As long as women go against the natural order by providing financially for these men, they will continue sending chronicles in like this. This woman is strong though I give it to her. Only her birth 4 kids,only her carrying the weight of family on her back. My aunt did the same and all she got in return was STDs, cheating and a man that disrespect and now wanting to kick her out of the house.
Men don't want to be men anymore complaining of what they are supposed to do. Once I see a man has that mindset of wanting to be taken care of or helped financially or running away from/complaining about having to take care of finances of a home, I run and fast! So many grown boys that were coddled by mommy now looking for assistant mommy in marriage. Kole werk.
Thank God you didn't loose your job, you would have suffered much more and might still be suffering if you had lost your job. Thank God you are now liberated. Please do not deviate from your stand. You are a strong and good woman.
ReplyDeleteTiri gbosa for you poster, you did well. If you had deviced this means earlier, things would have turned out better since but nevertheless thank God for the wisdom you now use.
ReplyDeleteAs for your husband, good for him. I'm sure he will now realise that one doesn't know the value of what they have till they loose it. Maybe with this experience, he will finally change for the better
Honestly I wonder why it took her that long to realize that her husband is an APC member. Thank God she did eventually.
DeleteMadam, it was your choice to 'WIFE YOUR HUSBAND'! Sorry o.
ReplyDeleteNow that you have repented, you have been set free. Go and sin no more. Inugo.
As in! She probably paid her own brides price and funded her wedding.
DeleteShe’s not even primal. What’s attractive about a man that can not provide and protect? How do women even get wet for such men.
@ Reasonable doubt as long as naija society continues to shame women and pressure women into marriage, these men will have the upper hand and think they are the prize. A man thinking he is the prize in a relationship spells serious doom for his woman because men are made to be ruthless, cold, and calculating. God made them that way so that they can go out there and work tirelessly to compete and bring home the bacon and put food on the table. But they are using God's gift to manipulate desperate women, take advantage and look for assistant mommy as wife. Women are naturally nurturers and using that nurture for the wrong reasons ie. Providing and petting grown boys. You can't go against God's natural order and not expect chaos
DeleteSome people’s horsebands are some peoples magas.
ReplyDeleteThat man is under a demonic spell.
I am a man, and I know what I am talking about.
Its not only spell. The spell only catches men when they get money. Mr man,women don wise up.use another format,this one don cast. Spell my foot. He must have positioned himself in a position for spell to catch him. Useless,undiscliplined dogs making stupid excuses for their lack of self respect and disclipine. Nonsense
DeleteNothing a married man does is ever his fault. Everyone is responsible but him. Fools.
DeleteAnon 16:45 IT IS NOT A SPELL or ANY DEMON!
DeleteSome silly men are all over the place following single ladies around like demon themselves instead of being responsible husbands and fathers.
The stupid things they do and say, spending like crazy, to the extent of begging babes to have a child for them. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
But the poster was also under a spell for 15years. Let him have a taste too of the kind of slavery spell he put his wife through.
Deletedont mind them. giving excuses for an adult's bad character
DeleteThank you Kamikaze, spell indeed.
DeleteWhat about a woman playing husband in a marriage? Paying her bride price, paying for the delivery and nursing of her children, house rent and bills for over a decade- is that not a demonic curse? Is that not satanic bondage? Imagine having to sleep with a man who doesn't know how his children are feeding? Could he not drive Uber, Marwa or okada? Could he not sell small items or hustle? Could he not get a clerical job like the wife did? Let us thank God for setting her free .
DeleteMadam we move no going back to Egypt. Please don't go back to that your former self. God bless you as you continue to dish him he's deserved desert. Nonsense and ingredients
ReplyDeleteMadam we move no going back to Egypt. Please don't go back to that your former self. God bless you as you continue to dish him he's deserved desert. Nonsense and ingredients
ReplyDeletePoster kudos to u,some women like to start what they cannot finish. Even Bible said woman is a help mate cos God knew that being a woman on its own comes with a lot of physical stress, u will add now such great responsibility to it.
ReplyDeleteSince my pastor told of story of how he didn't ve rent n he complained to his wife, madam told him she would pray for him. I learnt a lesson, u can assist but know ur limit. Am glad u set urself free poster
Am happy for you sha.....stupid men everywhere
ReplyDeleteHappy for you
ReplyDeleteThis is what I have sworn before marriage never to do because I remember my mom walking barefooted to hawk to send my dad abroad so that we can leave a better life instead he got got married and bought himself a house and never send us money, mom had to start all over,I know my aunt that I lived with who will do most of the job that bring money in their shop and still can't wear a good cloth or provide for her parent and siblings while her husband provides for his parent and siblings thank God for my male siblings that God use to put smile on my moms face, I use to tell my hubby my money is main while his money is ours,he knows I would never help in paying rents or bills, Even my younger sis of 23yrs is already running a fish farm of 500 fishes and promised not to settle for less, she said she doesn't care how old she gets married but the man must be able to provide on the table. Hugs from me to you for being this strong, women should learn to be strong for themselves and not allow men to see them as a piece of shit.
ReplyDeleteMen are providers by nature. Any woman that wants to form amazon and change will have herself to blame.
DeleteAfter i caught and forgave him, i worked extra hard at work, closed my legs from him, still cook and clean but my full concentration are with my kids. He comes late o, early o e no concern me again
ReplyDeleteYou have done well ma'am. Let him go and feed his girlfriend with the little he can save
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle is an example of when your man is scum.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you are having a happy life
Wow!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing.
It is never too late to rediscover yourself.
God's hand is truly upon you.
Imagine if your phone hadn't spoil, it wouldn't have marked the turning point in your LIFE.
TRULY GOD doesn't forget His own.
Madam you were his enabler! you see that man who refused to collect your resignation letter? that is your God in human form! your virtue has attracted favours to you. please remain wise as a serpent.
ReplyDeleteYou will not find them on this post.
ReplyDelete🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️🤸🏾♀️
My own happiness is that you woke up albeit late but thank God not too late.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm, what a story!!! Very similar to mine. I'll share my story too when i have the time to type.
ReplyDeleteYou did well, sis.
Stella this is why we always say women should marry a man that provides and is financially well off more than her. Building a man never ends well as you can see. Have your own money but make sure that man contributes 80% to the upkeep of the house, Bill's, school fees so he doesn't give that money to women outside. Men don't really care how loyal or how much you suffered with them. You guys need to learn that men will prey on the weak and use any woman usable. They are wired to be wolves and take advantage. God made them that way so they can go out in the world work tirelessly and hard to bring home the bacon. Women are more soft and emotional so that they can care for the kids, the man and the home. With emotional support, pampering and NOT finances. When people try to switch the roles around trouble starts
ReplyDeleteMy dear thank God you are wiser now. He wanted to turn you into a slave while he roams about enjoying his life. You are a strong and hard working woman
ReplyDeleteI praise God on your behalf for the reawakening...keep flourishing poster!
ReplyDeleteChronicle of the year!.
ReplyDeleteKudos Madam,please teach your kids not to marry a jobless man with no vision so they won't repeat this same mistake you made.
God bless you.
You did the right thing dear. You are actually the prize in that marriage. Please concentrate on your kids and invest or acquire properties
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best chronicles
ReplyDeleteKING XOXO MYSTERY