Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Sad!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE 
BROKEN


Thank you Stella for creating a beautiful platform such as your blog. I have been an ardent reader of your blog since 2015. I am not Nigerian by the way....

On the 8th of December 2018, my husband and I tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony, we are to celebrate our second wedding anniversary today.My husband works in the provinces, he has been there for over 8 years. In Fact we met during one of my visits to my father as he (dad) was managing an NGO in the same community. 

Early this year I gave birth to my daughter. My husband was so happy that he called for his father to be present during the in house naming ceremony since we could not make it glamorous due to the Covid-19 restrictions but he declined, giving excuse that he was busy with work. 

My father-in - law is a Professional Baker, he owns the business. My mother-in-law on the other hand was very much excited to pay us a visit. She has been longing for that visit. My mum in law is an amazing woman. She is loving and seeks the interest of all. She calls me almost every day, buy me stuff and we confide in each other. I always try to make her happy in every way I can.

From what she told me that woman really suffered to support her children. My hubby hawked bread for them to survive. I admire her because she succeeded in making a good man out of my husband.

 My home was a happy one, no room for negativity. We loved each other dearly. 

When my mum in law came to visit, no one knew she was my in law, we have that mother and daughter kind of vibes. My husband is that responsible and caring type.Hubby is one of the most intelligent people I ever met. He is the first born with two siblings... They are all male. 

From a humble beginning my husband struggled to make it in life. He paid his university fees, after getting a job he took up the responsibility of his brothers. His second brother turned 35 a few months ago and the other is 22 years of age.

 In July, Hubby asked that we see the other members of my family since all of them wanted to come see our baby. I was happy since it has been long I saw them. He drove all the way, we went round visiting one close family and another. 

We stared with his family by then my mum in law had returned, she lives in the capital city with my father in law and their children. Everyone was pleased to see us. In my family, our husbands are treated like sons...They are loved and cared for. My mum and my hubby are friends. They have good mother and son relationship same with my father.

 When we came to my hometown our plan was for me to stay with the family for two weeks while my husband returns since he had to work. I am a teacher, my husband a banker. 

After a week of my stay, hubby called complaining that he wasn't feeling well. I told him he is sick because he misses me. He told me yes he does miss me but he is truly not feeling well. I told him to go see the doctor which he already did. Tests were carried out and results showed he had typhoid and malaria. 

He told me his pressure was at 160 diastolic and 135 systolic.. It was constant for more than two weeks, we did all what the doctor advised it did not drop.. It kept increasing and I panicked.

 My dad is a medical practitioner so he told my husband to come to our city for further check up. He did so. Different results were carried out on him it was diagnosed that his creatinine level was shooting and the pressure has caused damage to his kidney.. That was the day I saw my husband broke down in tears..

 We cried together.. My family members wept... 

They asked doctors and medical officers. We were confused and heartbroken. He read too much about it. I tried to talk to him concerning best options for him to live through it. The doctor that analysed the test results was unprofessional too.. 

My darling husband held on to me in tears saying he will not live to see his child grow up. I was optimistic. We prayed sought medical expertise. I told him about dialysis and kidney transplant as options.. He told me we could not afford such huge sum...His parents knew he was sick but he didn't disclose to them the gravity of his illness. 

He only told his brother. 

His reason was that his parents were aged and that such sad news will break them. I told him to at least tell his father but he made me promise not to tell them. My husband is a private person so I wanted to respect his decision. He left our residence to go for dialysis.. I asked to come with him but he told me to wait since I am a nursing mother. We had planned on acquiring a loan for his medication. 

Medical conditions in my country is very poor. We have only two nephrologists and to reach them is almost impossible.

 To cut matters short my husband I lost my dear husband two months ago while waiting for dialysis. He was 38 years old full of dreams and aspirations. He called me the day before he died to join him that he wanted to see us. I travelled, prepared him food, he ate, hugged and kissed me passionately. He also played with our daughter after sometime ,he was hit hard by a heart attack. He was pronounced dead after two hours. It was all like a bad dream... 

I am broken as I write

I will not wish what I am going through upon my worse enemy.. My pain is deep. 

He has been hypertensive for years without him knowing it. On his medical report the doctor wrote 'End stage kidney Damage' so we only knew he had kidney disease when it was already damaged. Hypertension led to it.

We never went for medical examination except when we fall sick. I find it hard to sleep. I eat to live and find pleasure in nothing. I am heart broken and in tears everyday since this tragedy occurred.

My husband's younger brother told his people I took him to different hospitals when according to him my husband was jazzed (shot with a witch gun). Some of them said I might be responsible for his death.I am a Christian from a very strong Christian background besides that I loved him and was willing to donate my kidney if it matched with his. 

I wept so much when I heard that. My husband never believed in jazz because he saw all the signs and that he believed only in God This man knew everything my husband was going through,he told him not to tell their parents and he complied only for him to fabricate stories after his death. 

Mum in law was worried about me, she was sad that I was going through this at my age 30 years. My mum and elder sisters do not leave my side. They are worried that I might harm myself, I trust God to do the best in my life. 

After a week everything changed, I am from a different ethnic group to my husband. During the meetings for funeral arrangements one of my husband's uncle said the laying out should be done only at my in laws place but he was shush by my Father. I have 100% rights to bury my husband but I wanted his parents to be involved in the arrangements since he is their son especially my mum in law.

We comforted each other. 

I bought her and my brothers in law clothing for the funeral ceremony. I knew she was going through the worse phase of her life. Everything was arranged and my husband laid to rest according to the wish of his parents. 

I fainted twice during the whole process. 

I could not take it ,I wasn't okay with everything but I had to be considerate and leave room for peace. My parents and close friends stayed with me and comforted me. My husband's paternal relatives told my mum in law that I didn't love her which was why I did not tell her about her son's kidney failure. 

I told her that her son didn't want to cause her more pain since she was not well, but at that point I knew my brother in law had succeeded in creating strife between us. She stopped calling, I called them. 

The thing that hit me is the fact that they planned my husband's 40th day ceremony without involving me. We started the planning together, later they told me I will be invited, i did not go instead I organised mine with family and friends.

 That was the height of it. Many of their family members did not attend because they were not in support of their action. My family felt embarrassed, we left the following day. Before now my father in law asked about properties my husband left but I told him I was mourning my husband and do not have time to discuss properties.

 Everyone was astounded by this request including their family members since it had been just a week since they laid him to rest. There is so much tension between the two families. My father in law has called for a family meeting but dad says he will not attend since his family was disrespected. 

Sadly a month after my husband's death, they lost the last born 22 years. I felt so damn bad for my mum in law. I called her, she couldn't cry probably out of shock.

 I had to travel to see them and sympathise with them. It was a solemn moment. Sad to lose two sons in a month..

Some of my family members have warned me to steer clear off my husband's family but I still want to keep in touch with my mum in law since she is in serious pains right now and because I love my late husband dearly.

 Please bvs help me pray to go through this journey. Did I do wrong? . Please tell me I am confused and downcast


'Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say it is well, it is well with my soul' 

Please my dear,stay strong for your kid...Continue loving your man but you need to move on..

Maybe you need to change your environment for a while.........

It is well with your soul my dear!!!