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STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED AND HEARTBROKEN

Good day Stella.

Stella I am at a confused and heartbroken point at this time right now. 

I am 25 years old and a recent graduate. 

I met this guy many years ago and he asked me out but I wasn’t interested in him then so we remained friends. He still called once in a while then and we never brought up the relationship issue. 

We lost contact for a while but I was able to get through to him through his mum (I had her number because he once used it to call me so I checked my history tab on Truecaller and saw it there).

Last year, I needed a place to stay as I misplaced my key and the carpenter I called to help break the door said he won’t be available till after church (it was on a Sunday that day) so I decided to stay over till he (Carpenter) was done. While there, he made sure I was comfortable and treated me like a guest. He jokingly even asked me if I remembered him asking me out and how I would shout at him on the phone then and we laughed. 

One thing led to another and we kissed. 

When it was time, I left there and he called asking if I had gotten home. I noticed he kept on calling me everyday as the days went by and he would tell me how much he loved me and all. 

As the months rolled by, we had gotten extremely close. One time he introduced me to his friends as his girlfriend and I remember telling him he didn’t ask me out. He looked at me and said you’re wifey already. I don’t need to ask you out because I know you’re meant for me.

Sigh!

We continued the relationship and at this point his mum and basically everyone knew we were together but I still had my doubts.

Long story short, I found out he already had a son. My enemy wanted to die that day. Called him and we spoke about it; he said he was scared to tell me because he didn’t know how I would react (I agree my temper can be really bad) and that he was sorry.

 He promised that it wouldn’t change anything between us and tbh it hasn’t changed but Stella I always feel jealous whenever I see pictures of them Because I feel she has an advantage over me forever and he could leave me anytime because of his son. 

I’ve spoken to him about this and he has assured me but I still cannot help feel this way. I also haven’t forgiven him and I don’t know if I would but I know I love him. I also feel jealous whenever he goes there because I feel something might happen between the two of them.

How do I make this feeling go away?

Should I just break up with him and walk away? I’ve tried this a million and one times but he still always apologize and begs me to come back but at this stage, I’m already considering it...

If I want to make this work, how do I forgive and forget about him hiding it from me and also kissing his sons mother one time. He tells me they’ve broken up but from the messages I see on his phone, she still talks to him like her boyfriend. 

Sometimes he replies and sometimes he doesn’t. She sometimes complain about he doesn’t Tell her he loves her anymore and how things has changed between them and then he apologizes. The fact that he still cannot end things entirely with her is still an issue in our relationship and I know he cheated on me with her and I found out. 

He apologized and swore on his sons life never to happen again but I still don’t believe him. Whenever he goes there for visiting, I cannot help it and I don’t call him through out that day because I feel there’s probably something between them. He does the calling at the end of the day and asks why I didn’t call him while he was there. 

She also doesn’t know he has a girlfriend because she still thinks she’s the girlfriend ..

I also know for a fact that he doesn’t love her as much as he loves me but I still cannot help it
I just want to know what to do because at this point I’m tired of these whole feelings. 

Note: we’re both okay financially; although he is doing better but it’s not the money that is making me act a fool. We also haven’t had s#x as well.
Please help...

*Hmmmm silent cheater.

Please let him end things with her or let you go and continue with her,because nah there you go dey hear say baby number two is on the way and he will tell you its a mistake...In Fact that is what she will aim to do the minute she hears he has a girlfriend.

Is the boy not old enough for him to visit his Father?why must he go to her house all the time?there is no way they will avoid sleeping with each other if they are always alone oh...

He must have paraded her to family and friends the way he is parading you now...for all you know sef you might be the available side chic

Your boyfriend needs to define who he wants and what he wants or you should take that walk......He should continue begging his forefather anytime he cheats or makes a mistake and you need to draw the line!!!