This post is centred on Spouses who work long hours with a special focus on women
Men who work and have to come home late,how do you meet up with spending time with your family?
Some leave the house as early as 6-8am and return home 10pm for 5 days a week,some for 7 days a week.
Some leave the house as early as 6-8am and return home 10pm for 5 days a week,some for 7 days a week.
As for the women,how do you manage cooking?cleaning?Running the home?Do you use Nannies?cooks?cleaners?
Please be specific cos someone might learn from this post...
Soro soke,people of God
ReplyDeleteI have ALWAYS been lucky with loyal domestic staff. In fact, hands that have been rejected by others or condemned as lazy or stubborn become extremely loyal and have stayed in my service for none less than 10years. My house-keeper and driver has been with me since my single days. My cook and Nanny has been with me since marriage.
DeleteNot like they are perfect but I am patient to teach and thank God I have never stressed over anything. Life and career pursuit is a lot easier and I have both fronts covered.
NB: I don't hire single staff. I hire only people with families that also need me to help them care for their families financially while they too take care of mine physically. I don't hire along tribal line either. Our paths just cross and I give them a chance with love in my heart.
Been married for 12 years, not worked since I had my first child who is now 8.
DeleteI'm a nurse and I've recently (July) just gone back to work and I decided to do night shift which I'm changing soon to day shift. I can tell you it's been very tough, I am so useless during the day. Thank God my husband works from home because of the pandemic, God bless him for me (he is an angel). He does the cooking, dishes, laundry, (I usually load the clothes into the WM and he spreads it), clean the house, get the kids ready for school and he has never complained once since July.
I try my best as well, do any dish I find in the kitchen, tidy the house or bedrooms when I'm awake, I make sure I iron all school uniforms and get their school shoes sorted. I can go in and on, was just discussing with dh this afternoon that I feel like I'm loosing the bond I had with the kids because I come home from work tired and sleep, sleep, sleep.
Not easy honestly though my homr is just 10mins drive from the hospital.
No easy jare aswear 🤷🏾♀️
Saphire Saphire. Hmmmmmm.
DeleteLet me save this your comment.
There is nothing that beats a present and supportive partner. I say this everytime.
ReplyDeleteI and my husband work remotely and we have a little one. We complement each other, when I'm having meetings and work is hectic, he handles baby (feeding, bathing, tending), as well as our meals, when he is busy, I do same.
On weekends, he goes to the market for foodstuff while I do small cleanup. we make sure we do all our chores and cook in bulk against the coming week.
We don't have a help presently and don't see the need yet, as we handle the home together as partners.
On days when we are lazy or tired, we leave the house scattered o. Nobody will carry face for anybody, we console ourselves by saying "it's our house, if anyone knocks, we will hide and pretend we're not home". Lol
Even as we are not stressed, we have agreed that when we earn as much as we want to, we will have a chef, gardener, housekeeper...etc
We want to enjoy this life o..and grow old together
💜💜💜
DeleteNice
DeleteAwwww. 😂😂😂@ "we will hide and pretend we're not home". May God bless your home.
DeleteBeautiful 👏👏👏
DeleteAwww, I love this. May God continue to keep your home.
DeleteAwesome. This is how marriages should be.
DeleteNot Lord and slave biko.
Now this is what's up!!!
DeleteGod Bless your home and give you all you need 🙏 ❤
God bless your home 🙏🏾❤️❤️❤️
DeleteVery interesting. May God continue to sustain your home.
DeleteI ain't married but that was my routine before lockdown. Had someone that comes to clean my house every two weeks. Saturdays was for good sleep and football matches. I eat out most of the time so no cooking. My drycleaner picks up my cloths every weekend.
ReplyDeleteFrom lockdown till now, I do my cleaning and I have learnt how to cook basic food. Even though I will prefer the food to taste better but I eat it like that. Drycleaner still pick up my clothes cos I hate washiing and ironing.
Don't worry with time you will get better with your cooking😊
DeleteYoutube videos can help you improve on your cooking skills. Cooking is not that difficult and the more you cook the better you become.
DeleteThat is one of the reason I don't want to leave teaching job,since hubby's job is 7 to 7.As a teacher I have time for house chores but at times is not easy most especially when u need rest
ReplyDeleteAh, I prefer a job that will pay me more than enough to hire hands for the chores biko. I hate lacking or running short of money.
DeleteAs a single mum of 2 kids, I have a live in nanny that looks after my kids when I'm off to work. I make sure to bath, dress and feed my little baby, brush my first child teeth before I leave for work. First Saturday of the month I wake up early, go to the market to get all food required for the month as I don't like my nanny going out with the kids especially to the market. When I come back from work on Saturday evening I prepare 2 soups that can last for 2-3 weeks. I also make all baby food. On Sunday I make either stew or banga to also last for 2 weeks and store in the fridge. Basically I make sure my nanny has done all her chores before I hand over my baby to her before leaving for work. Luckily for me my office resume 9:30am and from my house to office is 30mins drive. It has not been easy but I always plan ahead which has been so helpful. My first child has not started school cos of this covid so no school runs for now.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you ma, you're a strong woman and a good planner.its not easy
DeleteI am married with a child, a banker. No househelp.I cook twice a month. A cleaner comes in every weekend. I find a way to strike a balance. Thank God.
ReplyDeleteIf there is anything I know, it is that once our jobs start to interfere with at least one parent spending quality time with the kids, i would definitely take some time off. No questions asked. My husband and I already discussed that.
ReplyDeleteI just hope if that ever happens, it should be when my husband earns well enough to comfortably cover all expenses.
I’m married with 3 children and I work. My husband also works, I always do a live in nanny, I don’t like those come and go because I would have done the main work in the morning before she comes and will still need to wash d dishes at night after she goes. I make the soups and keep in the freezer, so she wakes d kids , prepares breakfast and cleans up, I do school runs and teach the kids their homework. I bathe them and brush their teeth myself at night. My husband is currently working from home and was very helpful when the kids were having virtual class.
ReplyDeleteHubby and I have very hectic jobs, I work in a bank and hubby works in an oil firm. We have four kids. From the time we got married, we have always had maids. Now we have a live in nanny. We have very hectic schedule and we close very late. The maid prepare our meals and even weekend,except when I'm well rested,then I assist her.
ReplyDeleteHubby is very understanding and knows except he wants me depressed, I need assistance taking care of the kids and running the home. He supports my being a working class woman and over the years, we have found what works for us. We have been married for 12 years and I have been working in a financial institution for 14 years.
No kids yet, still hoping on God, but its not easy, the full house work is on me, unless when God touches his mind,hubby once in a while helps but I pray it's more often,like shared. but iam quietly driving my points down respectfully.when he wants to help out, he does it romantically. But order than that, he is damn good. He is a nice man
ReplyDeleteHe is good, a nice man, and helps romantically sometimes. Nne, it's enough. Not all men/everyone is built for domestic work. Get house help and gadgets eg washing machine and dish washer and the likes so you can have time to bond with this nice man. Stop going to bed tired over house chores.
DeleteI work monday - saturday and sometimes sunday. I have someone that comes to stay with my kids when I go to work on weekends but I do all the house chores myself,and I cook every weekend for the week. My hubby's job is stressful but he sometimes helps with the kids on weekends. I like it this way sha
ReplyDeletePlease make sure you have a nanny camera at home while you go about your work.
DeleteI am a lawyer, married with a kid. Hubby is a business man so he can afford to mind our son till I close from the office which is usually around 5.all house chores are done by me because hubby closes at 9 and leaves the house before 7everyday.we are managing like this for. Now. But when I move to our own accommodation (we stay with parents in law for now) I will work on having a help.
ReplyDeleteI do everything myself, from market to cooking and cleaning. I employed a helper and she was busy stealing until someone told me about her and it was true. Honestly , its not easy even my neighbors praise me. Washing machine is helping me small small o. My kids stay with the proprietress of their school since she lives closeby and we pay her. For months, hubby's not around, I have days I do my arranging as per scattering by the kids but sweeping is everyday o. Atimes I share work for them to help out based on their capabilities. God has been and He's still there strengthening me.
ReplyDeleteIts GOD because sometimes when I look back I just start praising and thanking God.
Ex hubby used to work shifts but was as lazy as dirt. I work 7 days a week. After nearly killing myself with chores when newly married, I got a caterer to cook some dishes and I'd store in the freezer. I got a driver when I was pregnant and a nanny 2 months after my baby was born. My ex expected me to quit working when I put to bed & refused to hire a nanny. I got one and he started giving her personal chores, so I told him to pay up. He paid for 2 months only and stopped.
ReplyDeleteI still maintain a driver & nanny. The stress it saves me is more than any money can account for.
Not easy when kids are involved. I work and run a business, plus 2 kids aged 4+ and 3. I don't have a nanny, so I do most chores myself, but the good thing is that hubby helps out on his off days.
ReplyDeleteI’m married and I do all chores myself, from school runs, cooking, laundry, cleaning etc. Sadly I’m married to a very unkept or would I say filthy hubby. Someone who doesn’t see the need to properly flush the toilet after use & can use the toilet up to 6 times a day spending up to 40mins at a go, he leaves poo stain all over his boxers & wouldn’t bother to change it and can wear that boxers for days until u change u complain and get fade up, talk about bathing, he can go for days without shower. Most times I just feel my marriage with him won’t last long, it really tiring.
ReplyDeleteWhat! You are trying ma
DeleteStella is my comment in your cooking pot?
ReplyDeleteYou are not a very happy woman.
DeleteIt is not easy o at all. A lot of times I miss being so far away from my parents because they would have been so helpful with caring for our child. But it is what it is, life must go on.So DH and I agreed from when we got married that we would work opposite shifts. He works at night and I work during the day. Thankfully, he doesn't work everyday, so he helps a lot with caring for the little one.
ReplyDeleteI used to be a stay at home mom and contrary to what people think, stay at home moms also need a break. I was always cooking, cleaning, caring for the little one and did most of the chores. When work started I couldn't keep up and would get frustrated because I am a stickler for cleanliness especially in the kitchen. We never leave dishes overnight, the stovetop must be cleaned after any intense cooking especially at night, no cookie crumbs on the floor, no visible toilet stains. DH is not very domesticated, the best he can do is vacuum, load the dishwasher, mow the lawn and this is after I have nagged the hell out of him. If he goes grocery shopping, it's never the same like when I do it. After DH and I spoke I realized I do too much and stress over little things, so I piped down a bit. Now I am an advocate for machines...the only thing I have not found is a machine that would automatically wash my bathroom/toilets and mop the floor. I got a dishwasher, washing machine, dryer, vacuum cleaner, wet vacuum for shampooing carpets, slow cooker, air fryer. These machines make life easier. Do the best you can and leave the rest till the weekend or when you're free, also make little time for the kids even if its a few minutes everyday, tell them I love you, put them to bed and let them know you care even if there's no time.
At the end of the day, it is somebody that is healthy that can work and care for the home, so don't stress yourself.