Sometimes when things go wrong,people want others to mediate and make things right but sometimes it could go South.................
I hate family Interference of any kind,if you report me,I will make it worse...lol..
Have you reported your lover or spouse to family members and things got better or out of hand?
Or were you the one that was reported?what was your reaction?How was the matter settled?
Lets gist!!
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Let's keep the comments coming.
ReplyDeleteNot on this table sarm sarm
My hubby and I agreed that I should take a break for a few days and go to my sister's house. I did. He never called me throughout my stay there. I was the one calling and he was acting cold. Only for me to get a call from my mum that so I ABANDONED my home and my children and went somewhere else. He also told his older sister that and his family members don't like me because I'm from another tribe, and he knows this. This is a man that is always about keeping the family matters private and sorting things out together. And I always do that.
DeleteThis thing pained me for weekssss. I tell you. I am not a vindictive person but because of how hurt I was (even after he apologised), I couldn't help but report his own shortcomings to my mum and sister. I was so so upset.
Sometimes, sorry isn't enough. Let's be careful of how we treat our spouses. I hope I've healed from that betrayal.
When we initially got married, small thing my hubby will pick phone and report me to his parents, my siblings and my parent, without even trying to sort it out with me. There was one he did that pained me. He didnt tell me that I offended him, mind you we live in the same house o. Only for my elder sister to call and say what I did to my hubby wasnt good o, that it pained him. I was weak and angry, I felt very betrayed. I spoke to him, shey I carry fire for head ni, you claim I offended you, you didnt even bring it to my notice, yet you reported me to my sister. Is she supposed to carry cane and flog me? Thank God for maturity now, at least nobody has called me to scold me about any family issues. I also try to take all in, and pour my mind to him, when he wrongs me. Family intervention only worsens issue. I know I can never be proven right, if I report to his family. When I tell my mum somethings, maybe just to get some encouragement and strength, not to malign him, or make him look bad. I believe we are getting better with the marriage thing.
DeleteForgive any error, I didnt read proof.
My father wouldn’t stop reporting my mother, no matter how many times she told him to stop. All our family friends and extended family were in the know of all the family problems. Always said she didn’t respect him. When she tells her own part, he gets angry that she’s exposing him. The last “reporting”, she left. They were married for 30 years.
DeleteI report DH to his Dad and one of his elder sisters.
DeleteOnce he hears Chief, he'll be like "Baby chelu chelu, let's sort this now, it hasn't gotten to that". Or for his sister, he'll go like " I don't want my sister barging in here to cause drama, I'm not the most sinful man, can we talk please? " Hahahahahahahaha.
In my own case, if matter gets to my eldest sister, o pari. My own don finish be that. She can hala person eh "you've started again right?".
She's the family "otimgbodomgbo". She levels all Walls of Jericho from afar.
I believe it depends on who you are reporting him or her to, I for one like to share with my sister, she is very quite and that will never change her opinion about my spouse and she will not tell her.. sometimes when I tell her its not only about reporting, its also about sharing my mind and seeing if I am right or wrong.. also when I share with her she tells me straight up if I am wrong and also I feel lighter telling her, since I know my spouse won't understand if I tell him straight up.
DeleteComment reading mode.....
ReplyDeleteI should have left him the first time he started reporting me. That broke us anyway, 3rd party interference. Although he was manipulating them as well. Horrible man.
ReplyDeleteBiko re you me😳😳
Deletesame as mine
DeleteWe agreed from the onset never to report each other to anyone no matter what.
ReplyDeleteEven when the issues at hand were tough and hard to reach a resolution, we weathered it out with time, patience and prayers.
Reporting each other to a third party will make the person involved lose respect before their eyes.
It brings 'see finish syndrome'
"The two has become one..." says the Lord. No third party should interfere in spousal matters. The two should find common ground to settle their differences if they truly love each other. If they must involve another person, it must be by mutual consent. I've never quarreled with my spouse to warrant a third party intervention.
ReplyDeleteThird party is a NO NO for me.
ReplyDeleteSome ladies are so foolish to escalate things by reporting to their families. That is like setting your matrimonial home on fire. Please desist from that. You know your husband and know if he will accept such.
ReplyDeleteWhy would u think only ladies do so? I'm a woman and my husband is d reporter, lol. I've been reported to his Mum (and consequently his sister) who then escalates the matter to my parents (who in turn involves my siblings). He has reported me to his friends as well. So u see why u shdn't generalize 😜
DeleteThat year when I was still together with my ex he kept on reporting me to his mum and my family. My sister will call me on phone to say somethings but she will never tell me what he told her.
ReplyDeleteI kept on enduring, over looking and accepting all the blames. The guy felt my family didn't like me not knowing I haven't told him anything about his attitude. The whole thing continued until one day I got fed up of all the calls from my sister and decided to visit her with him.
I then asked my sister to tell me what has been happening, she then opened up how my guy has been calling her and threating to end the relationship the whole time but she has always apologize on my behalf.
After my sister finished talking I turn to him and asked him babe is my sister telling me the truth? Guy man became deaf 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭 so you have been threating to end this relationship and she has been begging you not to because you have been the only man on earth right.
I decided to open up to all he has been doing. My sister lost balance after all I told her in his presence, I even told him to correct me if I am wrong. Uncle started begging me and my sister settled us.
The one that got to me was when I called him mum one day and she downloaded how her son has been reporting me, everything I do even if I didn't take his calls. I got fed up and decided to walk away because I just know that oga will continue even after the wedding night.
Don't think we haven't spoken about it, several occasions we have spoken about no third party but he is comfortable to discuss things with family and friends.
You and this your numerous exes!!!
DeleteIt was after 4years when I couldn't handle their son,and I knew if I don't open up I would die of frustration that I opened up to his mum n siblings.seeing they now who he has turned out to be, he decided to make hi family hate me.all that is history now sha.we move, peace of mind over all things.
DeleteAnon 18:29 you are an idiot! Yes she has numerous exes and so what? What about you? Men and policing women's body. Idiot
DeleteSDK, I so much hate when married people bring their internal wrangling to the glare of the public,It passes me off and if my Spouse tries it with me,That will be the end of everything because some of those people that will want to advice you are not perfect and may be worse off.
ReplyDeleteWait till you get married Eze C.J, there are times you just need someone to talk too especially when your marriage is young.
DeleteYou go learn when you marry 😏
It made mine worse. His family couldn't do shit, they are just not the type to meander into peoples business. So I was left on my own. Nobody could approach him at all. My home crashed and nobody said a word till today. I wish I didnt report their son to them, if I had dealt with the shit myself, maybe it wouldn't have ended d way it did.
ReplyDeleteHow about if he had behaved well, there would be no shit to take care of
DeleteThank U anon donor 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteIt happened to me,my ex said so many bad things about me to his family members,so many lies..the way they spoilt my name,it made me start to believe i was actually at fault and a bad person,it made me really sad becos most things said about me were untrue,but i know why he did it,to avoid marrying me.he got me pregnant and his dad was forcing him to marry me.am glad it didnt work out,dont want to end up in a forced marriage,though it hurts,the betrayal,the lies,the rejection and all,didnt know i could survive it,but God has been faithful,it will all be history soon.All that happened really changed me in a positive way,i will keep advising women,stay pure until marriage,sexual immorality is a destiny destroyer.
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and kisses Mom B.
DeleteThere is nothing wrong in reporting your spouse to people or person he respects and honor.NEVER YOU EVER MARRY A MAN OR WOMAN THAT HAS NO ONE THEY REVERENCE OR RESPECT.If the reason for reporting is for the so called issue to be resolved:Perfect!!but before reporting,try and see if he or she will want a one-on-one resolution.if not ,take my advise above.My wife knows who to report me to and once that person hears,I must concede...
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely true. I tried all I can to correct my hubby but he didn't concede. I called his elder sister whom he respects so much and told her about it. My sister in law and I planned it . We visited her without his knowledge that he was going to face tribunal. Hmmmm it really worked for me. My hubby changed automatically. It's over three years. He has been a great and loving husband who listens whenever I talk to him.
DeleteThumbs up! Nobody should marry ezeonyeagwalam!!. No third party yet you bring it on SM. If you're the one being drained, please sorosoke before you die in silence!
DeleteGod bless u sir
DeleteThank you.
DeleteConvince Me.
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
DeleteVery well said!!!! How can you marry someone who has no regard for anyone??
Delete@ Ada, this is dangerous. In life, everyone should have at least one or 2 persons they are sincerely accountable to or respect so much because a free man/woman doesn't have any caution...It's by God's grace.
DeleteInstead of reporting to a third party who may or may not be biased, would a professional like a marriage counselor/therarapist/mental health counsellor etc not be better?
DeleteMy ex used to report me to his and she'd always take my side wether I'm right or wrong that pissed him off so much🤣🤣🤣 oh mama! The woman that looks like a goddess God bless you.
ReplyDeleteAwwww 😍🥰❤️❤️😘, bless her heart.
DeleteMy wife kept reporting me to ppl. That I'm a one secs man. Reason she can't stay in d marriage anymore.I feel so ashamed . how I always use my finger to sex her. Mind u we have 4 kids already.
ReplyDelete😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
DeleteSo sorry about this but two shall become one. Indirectly, she is embarrassing herself too...I think you need to talk about this with her.
DeleteAwww 🤗🤗🤗. Telling people that about you is so unfair.
DeleteI reported him to my sister cos I couldn't bear it again. That was the beginning of my trouble. I wish I can type more. This post brings me bad memory. I did everything a lady will do to make a relationship works but he'll no, I'm not lucky with true love.
ReplyDeleteI informed my family and his sister who is the only close relative he has, about a decision he was going to take which I think was not the best. My family and his sister advised us and that is one of the biggest mistakes I have made in this marriage.
ReplyDeleteIn retrospect I think if we dated for more than 7 months before marriage and had had some normal relationship quarrels, he would know how I handle stuff and I would know how he handles issues and we may not be married today.
He does not really regard family or anybody for that matter. And it saddens me because my parents, siblings and I are all we have and used to be quite close.
Because of the advice from family, 2 years ago, I don't pick my sister's call when he is there, my sister whom I love so much and I was closest to her. I'm sad but this gives me some peace and helps avoid unnecessary bickering. Ever since, I let him do whatever he pleases if it concerns both of us.
This isn’t marriage my dear, you are living in bondage , please break free
DeleteThird party interference is bad unless it's a life threatening issue. I learnt the hard way by involving my mum in issues.shes reports every to her brothers and sisters in the name of looking for advice. Small issue becomes exaggerated
ReplyDeleteLet me laugh oo, my brother's girlfriend has been reporting him to me. I tried my best my talking to him but I notice babe is too dramatic. She wants 24/7 attention, guy can't even breath. The choking is too much. Calm down babe, this is a relationship not even marriage .
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I've never done that
Abeg, there's reporting and gossiping/gisting o. Some people like to tell everything going on in their marriage or relationship to just anyone. That is dangerous because I have seen that when they do that, they put their home in danger. Then if there's a problem, people either report a lot or little because either their best efforts failed or they are immature and want someone else to see their spouse as bad. Then there are people who complain to others about everything, good or bad, at least once a week. I don't believe you should say anything about your spouse to anyone, good or bad, unless it's something he/she can help them with. Any other character discussion or assassination go bring kasala. If you have okra mouth, I bouce. I can't be washing slime off my body everyday. It's grace and practice that helps in talk matters.
ReplyDeleteYou can only be happy when he is happy.
ReplyDeleteYou cannt report him to anyone cos more problem will escalate.
Oh he can keep malice for ages without saying what the problem is.
you've got to respect him like your God.
At his worst moments I'm always needed but when all is well I get dumped like refuge bin.
When next he is in his worst moment, don't lighten the burden. Toughen up and let him BEG for it.
DeleteYou give up your goodness too easily that's why he takes you for granted when all is well.
Toughen up!
I don't have any reason to report anything. He won't like it so we always resolve issues like they never happened. God is good!
ReplyDeleteIn some situations when third party interferes and you settle with your spouse, no matter how good/innocent you tend to present your spouse the third party will always have a residual of the whole scenario.
ReplyDeleteFor me I don't support third party interference even with the so called men of God *sideeyes
My in-laws want to know when we fuck, my salary, my future plans erc.I tried to stay away cos they are notoriously jealous and competitive.
ReplyDeleteOga hit me for the second time and I called the Police, he reported to his family and in the process of advising me, I fought out that Oga tells them everything SINGLE thing that happens in the house. For me, that’s a deal breaker but he doesn’t know.... I will also let the world know he has never lasted more than 40 seconds in bed and his dick requires hours of sucking to rise. Shebi he knows how to spill.... bring it on.
In my mind, this marriage is done
I understand this is very upsetting but I think you should not react when you are still very angry. Take some time to think about it and possibly address it with your spouse. Goodluck.
DeleteThanks anon 17:29, if you hear the things this man said about me to his family, you will know that his 40seconds show is even small.
DeleteMy dear, if I don’t revenge like that, I might hurt him one day.
I v been disgraced, cheated on and beaten by this UGLY boy and I don’t trust my actions around him.
Madam take a break now. He did wrong. Very wrong. But did he lie? Whatever the reports were, lies dey inside. If its so, correct perceptions the best you can and take a break for a while let tempers cool. Why hang around for a revenge that you might regret. That you are angry doesn't necessary mean you are done with the marriage. In case u still want ur marriage be careful of counteractions. It spoils the prospects of clean makeup
DeleteI never marry
ReplyDeleteMy husband is always quick to report me to my mum who in turn tells my brothers and all of them will start blaming me without hearing my side of the story about the issue because in their head my husband is a saint. I dont blame them though because I have never reported all the nonsense he has done to me to anybody not even his family. I hate 3rd party interference in my issues which is the major reason I dont report to anybody but he doesn't do same. It's very annoying and I have had issues with my mother because of this. I dont even want to go into details so I dont get angry again.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, I'm angry on ur behalf! I hate dat thing third party ehh...cos I'm a private person
DeleteThird party is a no,no for me.
ReplyDeleteNothing is wrong in discussing your partner with matured soul for the sake of your sanity . The worst thing is to discuss your partner with his family ,that is called digging your grave.
ReplyDeleteLadies be wise , learn to open up before running mad. That is how so many women endure abuse and cant see it.
Reported my husband to my family after 7 years of marriage when I fell into depression and felt suicidal; I'm a private person too.
DeleteAfter 20 years I just reported my husband for the first time to his elder brother. That one spoke to him and he has been behaving better. I’m still tired I beg. When u pepper someone for so long they reach a stage that they say to hell with u. I am at that stage. My kids are grown and I’m going to join them abroad. That’s it. I will never come back. I think I actually hate him now so it’s better I leave him. I don’t want to send in any touching chronicle from prison.
ReplyDeleteI really don't have friends I can open up to, all my friends are for gist, fashion trends and money making, I don't talk about my marital ish to any of them but sometimes when hubby pisses me off, it weighs me down so much, so I usually pick up my phone to call my elder sister and just pour out my heart to her...by the time I'm done, I feel light & relieved...so I made her my unleashing person, I don't tell her so she calls hubby to correct him or anything of such and she has never too...so, I wore a certain fine dress and she saw it and said the dress was So fine...I said thanks my hubby bought it o, he buys the best of stuffs...she replied" so him bad remain" the reply went straight to my heart and shredded it into pieces. There & then I swore never to share my burdens with her or anyone else...I will carry my burdens and sulk and cry if it will make me feel lighter and help me escape high blood pressure...
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel, whatever you say about your spouse to anyone still lingers in their head even when you have moved past it, and they will surely bring it up or ask questions about it even when you stop complaining about the issue to them. Its a reminder to always bear things, to some extent though before running fr succor where it is not.
DeleteHmmmmm! I am a divorcee ,and in another relationship, I have been trying not to bring in 3rd party since we are engaged but I got frustrated and tired of pretending and I called his closest friend ,the first time,he scolded him, but I guess he went back to start lying to the guy,infact I noticed I sent the guy a message another time, he has gnored me and sent the message to him. Am getting fed up with his manipulation
ReplyDeleteReporting your spouse to family is good if you are in your in-laws good book o. If you are not, chai they will make the marriage pack up.
ReplyDeleteFrom beginning, my hubby and I agreed not to involve third party. We resolve our ish ourselves.
Hmm.. I have learnt alot from comments on here. Truth is, it's not easy not to want to talk to someone about a bothering issue. I talk to my mom or sister. The only time I reported hubby to his uncle and wife.. He made me understand that they can't beat him all they can do is shout. as for his parents, that I dare not make them develop bp.
ReplyDeleteThe day I threatened to report hubby to his parents, he said, okay go ahead, shebi it's talk de wl talk, not that he does not respect them, but it's a way of telling me after then nkor, I kuku respect myself and decided no one should shook mouth fr our matter.
DeleteI do report my hubby to his family, when he does what i dont like. And they are always on my side ooo. No matter what even if hubby tells them i did something wrong. They dont believe him at all instead they push the blame to him. My in-laws are the best.
ReplyDeleteLol. Women. Your in-laws are now the best as they support your shenanigans. You try. More grease to your Hubby's elbow
DeleteNever!!! I can never report my husband to his people. They will only complicate issues. By the Grace of God, we've not had any reason to but if an issue arises, I will never go that route of reporting to family members. I love my privacy honestly.
ReplyDeleteOnce a matter becomes a life threatening issue then its time to shout it from the mountain top.
ReplyDeleteReport, report and report. Do not go through physical abuse and keep quiet. Do not listen to anyone who will tell you to.
KING XOXO MYSTERY