Meghan Markle has revealed she suffered a devastating miscarriage in July this year. Writing in a candid open letter in the New York Times, the Duchess of Sussex revealed that she lost her second child with husband Prince Harry. The couple welcomed their son Archie in May 2019.
She began: "It was a July morning that began as ordinarily as any other day: Make breakfast. Feed the dogs. Take vitamins. Find that missing sock. Pick up the rogue crayon that rolled under the table. Throw my hair in a ponytail before getting my son from his crib.
"After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp. I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.
"I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."
The 39-year-old continued: "Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband's hand. I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we'd heal.
"I recalled a moment last year when Harry and I were finishing up a long tour in South Africa. I was exhausted. I was breastfeeding our infant son, and I was trying to keep a brave face in the very public eye.
"'Are you OK?' a journalist asked me. I answered him honestly, not knowing that what I said would resonate with so many - new moms and older ones, and anyone who had, in their own way, been silently suffering. My off-the-cuff reply seemed to give people permission to speak their truth. But it wasn't responding honestly that helped me most, it was the question itself.
"'Thank you for asking,' I said. “Not many people have asked if I'm OK.'
"Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband's heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realised that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, 'Are you OK?'"
In the piece, titled The Losses We Share, Meghan reflected on the importance of reaching out to others – despite our many differences.
"Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few. In the pain of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, ten to 20 of them will have suffered from miscarriage. Yet despite the staggering commonality of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unwarranted) shame, and perpetuating a cycle of solitary mourning.
"…So this Thanksgiving, as we plan for a holiday unlike any before - many of us separated from our loved ones, alone, sick, scared, divided and perhaps struggling to find something, anything, to be grateful for ; let us commit to asking others, 'Are you OK?' As much as we may disagree, as physically distanced as we may be, the truth is that we are more connected than ever because of all we have individually and collectively endured this year.
"We are adjusting to a new normal where faces are concealed by masks, but it’s forcing us to look into one another’s eyes — sometimes filled with warmth, other times with tears. For the first time, in a long time, as human beings, we are really seeing one another.
"Are we OK? We will be."
from hello magazine
Hmmmmm i hope it is not in this article she is planning to reveal all the things that the guy who first talked about covid 19 talked about......
She should not just hurt others in her quest to find healing.
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteNah...She is out spoken but very far from vicious or wicked. She is an intelligent strong woman and knows she needs not pull anyone down to rise.
DeleteWell done Megan. Reading this also flooded me with a sad memory but God has replenished to me all I lost and more.
Nice one. Are you OK? Let's ask our nija people, before you know it, they will table all their problems
ReplyDeleteThis woman Meghan is the most manipulating person and her attention seeking is so over the top!! Give me a break!!!
Delete12:34, and you know this because she's your twin sister right!
DeleteAnon a woman who lost a child and sharing awareness is attention seeking? SMH. Despite the trolling, she is very much loved by millions. Something you will never know. If we find out now you are a woman. Shame!
DeleteStella she is writing on a subject a lot of women go through but not many really talk about it. The article doesn't hurt except to enlighten . It is well Meghan and Harry. More rainbow babies will come
ReplyDeleteVery well said Bini.
DeleteWe need to cut this lady some slack. Once people don't like you, everything you say is wrong. Kate and william were awwwweed and ohhhhhhed two days ago because they lost their dog!!!
Yet, we are upset that she is speaking out for losing a child. I can't with us sometimes.
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DeleteThank you! There's no pleasing these Meghan haters. Y'all must read meaning into anything she does or says, should she kill herself for you? Give her a breather you guys, jeez!
Delete@ Bini, aptly written. If you have had a miscarriage or lost a baby, you will understand the trauma that comes with it.
DeleteEven though I have another child, I've not forgotten the loss I suffered in 2018.
DeleteAnon 11:29 the double standard is so glaring! But God pass them
DeleteShooter even her breathing be giving these sad wretched souls high blood pressure.
Ms Abrodian, so true!
Babe, I dont think one can just forget. I am so sorry for your loss. Glad you have your rainbow baby now
Truth is the hustling stops most of us for asking the question.
ReplyDeleteBvs are you ok?
Stella are you ok?
Plumpyj,
DeleteThank you for asking. I will be OK.
What about you plumpyj? Are you OK?
Stella, Are you OK?
BVS, are you OK?
We must learn to ask. Not necessarily because we have solutions lined up, but just so the person at the receiving end knows someone made an effort.
Well done Plumpyj for starting this.
Yeah
DeleteI like to ask people if they're okay not cos I have all the solutions but as humans we need a shoulder to lean on.
So right at the hustling 😩
DeleteBeen a really tough year but still pushing. Tanks for asking
Having a miscarriage is a whole bad situation especially when the couple is trying to conceive. Women who have repeated miscarriages suffers a lot of unspeakable pains.
ReplyDeleteMay God come through for all those who are in such trying times and give them their babies in Jesus name.
Amen
DeleteI have been left paralysed from the blood of my little Angel going off me since yesterday.
DeleteThis baby came as a surprise I never knew early and was on meds I shouldn't be for my BP, water retention (docs told me late to stop) and even herbs to clean out my belle fat.
It was a missed miscarriage so I never knew my baby has stopped growing since it was 6wks+1day old, I only found out from my supposed 10wks scan.
Doc gave me pills as my baby don't even want to leave my body. O! My child how you fought before giving up. knowing now the effects of those drugs on you and the struggle you had before dying breaks me more.
I never carried you in my arms but you lived in my womb for wks. I felt your cramps and how you made me want to throw up.as I watch the lumps of blood going down the toilet, bathtub and maxi pad all I can do is cry and wish you beautiful flying wings my innocent soul. I didn't know how to break it down to your siblings that you have left us.
In all God knows best. You may have come out deformed and that would have left you in a pity state for life and me hating myself forever for causing you harm.
Kisses my little one. The cramps I feel of you leaving me hurts but knowing I hurt you with those drugs hurts me even more.
You have given me faith to try again.
To every woman grieving out there you are not alone.
Amen
DeleteAnonymous 12: 01 Please just open your arms and accept my hugs..It is well
DeleteAmen
DeleteLovelace
12:01, thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts.
DeleteAmen.
DeleteThank you everyone.
It is well....
Oh dear anon
DeleteGod would give you more babies . All would be well.
I'm sending you warm hugs 🤗 ❤ 💖
It is well my dear💜🤗🙏
DeleteYour words just helped to relieve me of my pain. I don't talk about mine for some reasons but I shed tears reading this. You fibroid! How dare you fight with my child who was only trying to live?
Delete12.01
DeleteThis is so heartbreaking. But be rest assured, that your baby is in God's loving arms.
E- hugs.
There shall not be a repeat of such again
ReplyDeleteQuite empathize with you on your loss.
ReplyDeleteNice to call miscarriage "losing a child..." A lot of people do not understand that, that's what is is.
May God, the giver of kids, give you more kids.
And that is also lessons to ladies who abort. Abortion is "killing a child." Hope, the world learn to use
the correct dictions to reflect what people go through and what they do voluntarily.
Wetin bring abortion for this talk now? Always deviating from topics of discussion
DeleteOP😒
DeleteEven though abortion isn’t the issue at hand, I agree with you. A child once conceived, is a child. And people who abort know this too, but they tell themselves otherwise to make the burden of their decision easier to carry
DeleteThank you so much Megan for this!This is a topic many people shy away from,either knowingly cos they don't want to hurt the person involved or unknowingly.
ReplyDeleteI for one understand too well the pain a miscarriage can cause;for I hv had 2 now and still praying earnestly for a child after my first.
And coupled with the endless questions of when are you going to gv ur first child a sibling! It brks my heart that some people are insensitive to the plight of a woman who is either yet to hv a baby or has a child termed 'old enough to hv a sibling'
Pls Meghan is allowed to speak up if it helps her heal. I wish I can tell all those asking me and insinuating stuffs all I hv been through recently and how I m also fighting a gruesome health challenge even with all the miscarriages .
Let's be kind enough to ask; Are you ok? And may the recipient be strong enough to share the burden if he/she chooses.
I can write a million words on this painful journey I have been in. But it is well.God help us all.
11:56,
DeleteGOD help us all. Thank you very much for sharing your experience with us.
E hugs dear. You are stronger than you know. We have been there and it was a tough journey.
DeleteIt is well with you anon! You strong. Just hang in there. E hugs
DeleteI want to run to my WhatsApp status to post this but a lot would think it’s directed at them so let me drop this here
ReplyDeleteMeghan is an imperfect lady still showing her imperfections sometimes and been herself but but Kate is an imperfect lady staying perfect for the camera,guess some people are jst like that 🤷♀️🤷♀️
It is perfectly okay for both women to stay in their comfort zones. Kate also shows her imperfection....what you see as "staying perfect" might come naturally to her. We should stop comparing both women. The are different.
DeleteMeghan Markle it is well with you dear!! Even Chrissy Teigen was very painful!! It is well You will have your rainbow..Just do you and the world will adjust..
ReplyDeleteI have never really come across anyone who when asked 'how are you' would say they're not fine. The conventional answer seems to be 'fine'. Whereas, we are not always ok at one point or the other. It's possible that people may not want to bore others or go into details narrating why they're not ok. But as much as we should endeavor to ask the question, we should also change from giving the conventional answer. Like the writer said, she had to be honest with the journalist.
ReplyDeleteAbeg that question, “are you OK?” can be what someone needs to hear to make the right decisions or feel whole again o. We are sometimes weighed down with our own issues to even know if someone next to us is ok but it goes a long way.
ReplyDeleteI felt a bit relieve after reading this, I've been bottling up the pain of two miscairraiges this year, and I know how hurt I I'm , especially since I find it hard taking in. Thank you Meghan for writing. It is well with all of us women.
ReplyDeleteJoyful wife, you will testify in JESUS name.
DeleteIf only one person is lifted by Megan's message then a 1000 comments like that of 12:34 is irrelevant.
You will be okay joyful wife, God will smile on you soon, hugs dear
DeleteIt's well Meghan. I remember complaining to a friend that I have never had miscarriage in my one of days of dispair and she told me never to say that again because she has had three and never will wish it on her worst enemy. I saw the pain in her eyes and I knew I wouldn't want that for myself. I pray that God will bless everyone of us looking up to Him for a child in Jesus name.
DeleteJoyful wife, try urine therapy b4 you try again.
DeleteHugs.
You would be joyful.
DeleteYoud have babies that would stay.
Sending you hugs and comfort.
It is well with you anon. Miracle babies you will have!
DeleteHaving a miscarriage is a very painful experience, the physical pain and the emotional pains is not from here.
ReplyDeleteAnd talking about it is not permitted, even among other women.
May God heal all women that have experienced it and may you carry your rainbow baby(ies)
Having a miscarriage is not something you wish on your enemy because the pain associated with it is surreal and unexplainable as we all deal with the pains differently,having gone thru 3 miscarriages,I pray never to experience it again,May the Good Lord heal all women who had gone thru it and give us double of our desires🙏
ReplyDeleteAmen dear
DeleteAffliction will never arise again!
DeleteIf losing a fetus is so heartbreaking then I wonder how the parents who lost an child feel. I can't even imagine those who had to push out a stillborn baby. There are all sorts of pain to endure in this journey of parenthood. May God be with us.
ReplyDelete