CHOOSING BETWEEN SERIAL CHEATING HUSBAND AND BROTHER
Good afternoon Ma'am Stella,
Please help me share this as i need advice pls.
I have been married for a little over five years now. My husband is a chronic cheat and i don't see myself continuing in this marriage anymore, just waiting to perfect things before i leave. We have two kids and i have no intention of having another.
Now,my husband lost his job last year though he has a little Hustle that gives him little money, the situation has not still humbled my husband enough to make him adjust, he still runs after women anyhow.
I earn a little over a hundred thousand naira and am basically the one carrying most of the responsibilities in the house. So,a good job opportunity just came up which pays almost two hundred and fifty thousand naira, and am contemplating between giving this opportunity to my husband or my brother who has been job hunting for a while now.
The point is there is every indication that I will get a divorce from my husband,if he now gets this job and does the lavishing on his numerous women,i know i will feel very bad and angry with regrets that i helped him get that job. I feel it's better to give my brother this opportunity cos he is my own flesh and blood and we are really close. Even if my brother marries and his wife eventually comes between our bond,i know i won't regret giving this opportunity to my brother,at least i will know he is my sibling and i did right by him. Pls advice me on this,thank you
Madam it is so obvious who you should this Job opportunity to........
Madam it is so obvious who you should this Job opportunity to........
All i can say is that BLOOD IS INDEED THICKER THAN WATER............Give the Job to the thicker blood.
Your husband have numerous strange women and that is a condition scripturally for divorce. The decision is yours to make. You can choose to forgive him, pray for him till he is out of this bondage. you can also choose to go along with your plans.
ReplyDeleteBut please, know that if your husband isn't an adulterer, the Scripture says that "the two (of you are one flesh)..." There is no such Scripture to tell us that you are one flesh with your brother. In essence, the relationship between a husband and wife is deeper than that between a brother and sister. But at this point, your husband has broken the marriage covenant of oneness, the choice of the way forward is your. But make it prayerfully. Cheers.
E be things! This one is not tired of crying 😂. You want to help him to buy wig for your fellow girls? 😂😂😂
DeleteBetter give your brother job and bone the hediot that is running after pussies
Aunty omemma, ezigbonwanyi afo nsi! Don't borrow sense. You think you are in 1400 where they will give you title for *obidiya 1 of afufuwa*.
Give your brother and have peace of mind. But why can't you go for the job yourself since the pay is better?
DeleteGive it to your brother pls. Your husband will spend the money on strange women, help your bro get his start in life abeg.
Delete@anon 15:28, you is wicked you really cracked me up. Haaha @obidiya 1 of afufuwa. For those that don't understand, sorry.
DeleteAnon 18:31 pls interpret. How only you go laugh alone,it's not fair.
DeleteGive it to your brother. Why can't you take the job since the pay is higher?
DeleteLMAO anon 15:28, shift lemme faint😂😂😂
DeleteBrother biko. Cheating husband agbakwa oku
ReplyDeleteReward loyalty. He is NOT your husband humiliating and braking your heart over and over. Good thing you are no longer in love with him. Give the job to your brother.
DeleteMeanwhile, have an understanding with your brother on your children's up keep. You need help with that and if he can be giving you even if it is 50k monthly or take up school fees payment for one child, it will be worth it. Even if he manages to keep it up till he marries and stops, it's ok.
DeleteSaphire, that word is *break* not 'brake'.
DeletePlease, memorize it because a bv corrected you about the same word on another post.
No offense, please. 🙏
Noted. I just picked from dictionary suggestion without cross checking. Thanks.
DeleteWhy not take the 250k job and give your brother the 100k job. Or are you not qualified to do the 250k job?
DeleteTufiakwa gi sapphire. Can dog eat your shit like this? 50k monthly for what? She wants to take God's place in the life of her brother abi? I don't understand you. All the people that have helped you in life, did they ask you to pay anything?
DeleteGive it to your BROTHEr.
DeleteYour brother o.. let your ashewo husband continue managing his little money with his whores. Thank God u can fend for yourself. Be careful let him not dash you yama yama disease.
ReplyDeleteDknt let any suffer head tell u to give ur ashewo husband dis job n u agree o, misery loves company.
Poster at least for the sake of your kids, give the job to your husband. Or don’t you want your burden to lessen? Unless you’re divorcing him today,if not When another opportunity comes you give your brother..
ReplyDeleteFan I disagree. Empowering the whoring husband will further give him more influence to fight her when she finally wants to divorce. He'll have enough money to threaten to take the kids from her and possibly bribe our very corrupt Judges. Pray for him and leave him to his faith poster.
DeleteFan I disagree with you. With what she said, that man will never take care of his kids if he gets that job. Her brother straight. No dull yourself poster.
DeleteFan I disagree with you. We should learn not to reward bad treatment.
DeleteFan, so has the husband been taking care of their children or side-chics before he lost his job?🤦♀️🤦♀️
DeleteFan abeg o
DeleteA man that is broke and still cheating? If he gets the job,the children won't even see him again
fan your brain is upside down walahi
DeleteStellar this your comment got me rolling on the floor.
ReplyDelete@poster, follow Stella's advice, give the job to the thicker blood.
Give the job to your brother already. A man that doesn't even respect the sanctity of your home doesn't deserve any favours from you. Cheers
ReplyDeleteSo you want to control your brother even after he marries? Wow, this is vintage Nigerian women. Would you have liked your husband's sister to control him and make sure that you "don't come between her and her brother?"
ReplyDeletePlease desist from doing this to your brother. If you give him this job opportunity, do not because of it break his marriage. 🙄🙄🙄
Did we read the same chronicle @ 15:15.
Delete15:15 Did we read the same chronicle. We obviously didn't . I guess you created your own story in your thoughts and you commented on your story. What's wrong with some of you.
Delete15.15 I think you have over analysed that part and magnified it more than necessary.
DeleteYou say?
DeleteAll of you up there are mounting defense because you all do same; going to your brother's
Deletemarriages to control their wives. Let me tell you all the truth, that is iniquity. Repent of this act.
Kindly give the opportunity to your brother Blood they say is thicker than water. What's the assurance that even when you give your husband he still won't use it to take care of you or the kids you will still end up nearing the burden so please the thicker blood.
ReplyDeleteYou know what to do but still wants bvs to tell you to go ahead!.. your own brother !omase ooo
ReplyDeletePls pls and pls give the job opportunity to your but don't let your husband know.
ReplyDeleteMadam do what makes you happy. Take a decision that you will be at peace with yourself.
ReplyDeleteMadam do what makes you happy. Take a decision that you will be at peace with yourself.
ReplyDeleteWhy not take the job yourself. Some women seem to tend to belittle themselves. Always wanting others to be better. Most wives keep praying for their husbands prosperity, not forget themselves. Woman! U deserve better, take the job yourself, in case of divorce, u can also cope. Or u think we deserve the little peanut u get now?
ReplyDeleteWhat if she isn’t qualified for the job? What if it’s a job that takes too much time from her kids. What if it’s not a job for a woman.
DeleteYou will just open ur mouth waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣fan no kill me o. . na real waaaaa🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAnd which job is not for a woman??? You will just open your mouth waaaaaaa!!!!
DeleteCarissagist, you think if she could take the job, she would be here writing chronicles?
Delete16:01 climbing telecom mast, traveling at short notice, working on oil rigs is VERY CHALLENGING FOR WOMEN especially with very young children.
Delete@16.01 it could involve a lot of travelling. It could involve late hours. Or Saturday work. A lot of reasons why women especially mothers can't take those jobs especially if little children are involved.
Delete@Eka Joy. I don't have ur time. I am in my Sunday mood. U can pass ur comment across without being insulting. I refuse to come down to ur level. Enjoy!
DeleteGive the job to your brother but if you want to help take care of sidechicks ministry, give it to your husband who you have already made up your mind to leave so he can have excess to splurge when he has enough money to throw around when you are gone.
ReplyDeleteRecommend whoever is most qualified irrespective of your emotions otherwise in the cooperate world of the job, you'll be seen as a joke and unprofessional.
ReplyDeleteRubbish
DeleteIf you are Divorcing and sure of it;give it to your brother..
ReplyDeleteIf you would hear "Sorry" from him tomorrow and stay married to him;give him the job..
No matter how foolish a man or woman is;Nobody can take care of the children perfectly like their parents..
Forget Blood is thicker than water;Your Brother or sister would forever take care of their own kids FIRST before yours..
Throw your kid in the air and that of your brother all at once;then let's see which of the child he will catch first..
It's not selfishness;it's just what it is..
@MARTINS
Sorry Martins, the idiot I married will pick his family over our Kids.... confirmed!
DeleteThis one you are talking is trash. If you like cheat, it will do you like film
DeleteSo what if she gives the husband the job and then does nothing for the kids then squanders the money on the women he carries?
DeleteMartins, do you think this kind of man will be ready to spend on his children if he gets the job?
DeleteSome men are that heartless and foolish even to their own children.
Some brothers still remember their siblings and cater for them even in addition to their own responsibilities.
Well only the poster knows the kind of brother she has. 🤷♀️
15.36 your comment just broke my heart. The Lord is your strength o. I don't know what I would do if I confirm my husband will choose his family or anyone on planet earth before I and the children.
DeleteThanks Saphire, it’s so painful to see him consistently put myself and the kids second.
DeleteI m used to it now, fighting and working hard for my kids.
Saving big time for them (£2k per month) and the joy no be here.
I pass both him and his selfish family! Imagine stealing from his kids savings to fund his family’s extravagant life style....... when I found out, I change am for am o.
He has not saved £5 for his kids at least in the last five years, yet, he has the guts to steal from the little they had at the time.
God Abeg keep me for my children , Amen!
The idiot in question prays 100 times a day by the way
Martins, I hope you DON'T BELIEVE this your statement .... @"No matter how foolish a man or woman is;Nobody can take care of the children perfectly like their parents."
DeleteThere are parents that are better off not having children at all!!! 🙅♀️🙅♀️🙅♀️
I beg to differ please. Even if the help her brother will give will be temporary,at least she will be helping to get one more person off the unemployment market in her family.
DeleteMartins some men are not it o.
Please give the job to your brother! Your husband will use that money to commit adultery. You can cut a deal with your brother asking for 50k a month. Explain your situation to him and let him know the sacrifice you’re making and ask for a monthly cut. If you can, sign an agreement with him in the presence of a lawyer and go and stamp it at the court.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot continue to feed a man’s horrible habit. Do the wise thing!
I support this 👍
Delete10000% %full support...giving that job means enabling him the more
DeleteHow do you people even think? You’ll help someone get a job then request a part of their salary?
DeleteGod forbid una abeg.
Sign agreement with her brother??? 🙄🙄🙄
DeletePoster, PLEASE DO NOT DO WRITE ANY AGREEMENT.
Give your brother the job. No strings. You brother is your brother.
RD e shock me ooooo😲😲😲
DeleteReasonable doubt, there is every reason to doubt you’re a sensible person. She needs money too and would have put it in her nuclear family if not for the fact that she is planning her exit. It is only fair that she gets some of it from her brother if she really needs the money.
DeleteI have siblings and one got me a job when she was pregnant and couldn’t take the job. She didn’t need to tell me before I split the salary into two until she got another one after weaning her child.
I put that sign an agreement as a last resort if she feels her brother may not be trust worthy enough to give her a cut for a while. In life you have to be practical to avoid resentment and unnecessary sufferhead.
She is going to be a single mother soon and will need all the funds she can get. The main reason she is asking this is because she wants the money or a part of it to somehow still come back to her and her kids.
You all will be acting like it’s not some relatives that kill each other over peanuts and lands. We thank God that we know our siblings well but some don’t have the same dynamics as ours.
20:30 God bless you for this.
DeleteAnd for not taking your sibling for granted.
Small things like this can breed ill feeling amongst siblings, at least if your sibling offers you a job, make an offer of some some money, especially if you know your sibling probably needs the job as bad as you.
As for the poster, I won't even bother answering, I assume yours is a rhetorical question.
Obviously your brother
ReplyDeleteYeah obviously your brother!!
DeleteGod knows I won't even contemplate anything, I won't even think twice. Give it to your brother abeg
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
madam give the job to your brother
ReplyDeleteI'd take the job myself😏
ReplyDeleteYou know hubby more than us.Is he the type of man that will pay child maintenance after divorce? Does he see the kids as priority even though he cheats? If you know he'll still take care of the children after you guys seperate,then give him the job. If not,give your brother the job.
15:35 you mirrored my thoughts and I typed same. May be network issues. Poster ponder on this before taking any decision. Good luck.
DeleteYour brother oooooooooo
ReplyDeleteGive the job to your brother. Your do not deserve it.
ReplyDeletePoster listen and this is my 2 cent.
ReplyDeleteIf i were in your shoes i will given it to my brother and i will not think twice.
My reasons are, my brother has been job hunting and doesn't have prior experience, and if i settle him with a job, it will be a burden taken care of, he wouldn't bother me or ask for financial help.
Your husband already has a side hustle which your brother doesnt have, he has already worked before which puts him at a "better chance" of getting another job because of his experience.
Mind you i didn't bother with the cheating part which actually puts him(hubby)at zero chance of you giving it to him.
Goodluck
This new job pays more than your current job. I'm wondering why you taking it is not an option.
ReplyDeletePoster is the job not open to you as well.If you can apply for the job do so.
ReplyDeleteWhen your husband was working did he take responsibility of the upkeep of the home,if so give the job to him.
Otherwise you can now consider your brother. Good luck.
Give it to your brother.
ReplyDeleteSince you're in the position of awarding jobs, why not take the 250k job and have your brother replace you in the 100k one you have now?
ReplyDeleteYou have 2 more mouths to feed, and I'm certain the increase in salary would help you "perfect" whatever it is that you need to do to leave your husband.
TAKE THE JOB YOURSELF yes I’m shouting
ReplyDeletePoster have you caught your husband cheating? Is it an assumption or someone told you a gossip that your husband is cheating. Whatever you do, please make sure you are very certain your husband is a cheat before taking a decision.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't know if I should tell you to give the job to either your brother or husband because this is a difficult one; But please make sure no one is using gossip to destroy your home nor jealousy is not making you think your husband is a cheat. Be sure of what you are doing before you do it.
shut up...so in your mind she will be planning to end her marriage on hear say..biko biko commot for road
DeleteAs painful as a philandering husband is, he could change tomorrow. If and when he does and begs your forgiveness u will always regret not letting him have the job. But for prevailing circumstances right now, I guess your brother. If u do leave him, how about child upkeep?
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣@ a changing philanderer. The wife he will be with that "tomorrow" will find him the job. It's pay as you go o.
DeleteSaphire o 🤣🤣🤣 @pay as you go 'husband/marriage'🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLMAO
DeleteWhen he changes you will join faith with him in prayer for him to have another job opening after all he already has experience on his side.
Una no go kii pesin with laughter...
DeleteGive your brother the job...
ReplyDeletePls poster if u can, take up the job and if u can't give it to your brother. I do want to talk too much.
ReplyDeleteTake the job or give it your brother if you knw it would be too tasky for you as a mum then strike a deal with your brother for 50k monthly
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile I'm here contemplating giving my wife a fantastic job that pays more than mine. A woman who neither knows how to cook not fuck, and who I secretly plan divorcing in 2 years time because of the little kids...... this is an eye opener! My brother is jobless too, so I guess she deserves nada!!
ReplyDeleteThe circumstances are not the same.
DeleteIs your wife cheating on you. Does she spend money meant for the family on other men?
Be deceiving yourself with fantastic job. Some of you are so misogynistic that you will fabricate lies to counter a woman’s pain.
DeleteYour wife will not spend the money on another man but on your kids. Her husband is useless hence the decision her brother is better with the job.
DeleteOh yes, Sure! Please compare an adulterer to a woman who cannot “fuck”, because all y’all can think about is how your penis works, nothing else. She can’t “cook or fuck” but somehow you managed to fuck her into getting kids. Yes please, give the job to your brother, so that he can cook for you and fuck you, while you pay child support after divorcing her. Last last God should have put y’all penis in your head and your brain should hang where your penis does now. As the brain is obviously useless up there.
DeleteMstchew.
DeleteIf you said your wife was cheating, it would have made sense.
Read the nonsense you wrote again, how does it correlate? Shior.
Huncle but inside inside your conscience you know that the reason you intend giving her this work is to cushion your conscience on the future divorce. Abi the job won't the money be used to take care of your kids?
DeleteDivorce on grounds of inability to f*ck!!!!?
Whosai
Liarbuntu
DeletePoster is the job for man alone. If not why not you take the job to enable you take care of your children as you are planning to divorce him
ReplyDeleteYou already analyzed everything So why are you sending us this chronicle? Common give it to your Brother if you don’t want it by yourself! I wonder why you don’t want to consider taking it by yourself wouldn’t it make it easier for you to leave your useless Husband and be independent???
ReplyDeleteIt takes the grace of God for a cheating man to mend his ways, are you ready to wait and pray? If not give it to your brother and have peace of mind. If your brother is a good man, he will be grateful for the rest of his life.
ReplyDeleteYour brother I'd say..
ReplyDeleteGive it to your brother oooooo
ReplyDeletePlease give to your brother. Biko I'm begging you Poster.
ReplyDeleteThere should be no reward for bad behaviour. Give the job to your brother.
ReplyDeleteSometimes our actions block our blessings. Now if this man was a dutiful husband his wife would not even consider her brother for this choice opportunity. Since he already spiritually divorced himself from you by slaking his lust in the arms of strange women and you are no more than roommates at this stage of life then give the opportunity to your brother. Your husband has long left the marriage in mind and heart, but your brother will always be your brother, and you helping him assures that your parents will also be helped as they grow older.
ReplyDeleteBetter give u brother the job
ReplyDeleteI didn't plan to respond because I consider this an extremely daft question but left me satisfy my conscience.
ReplyDeleteBut let me just say this to you women who have been brainwashed by demons to thinking that marriage is all about a woman suffering-forgiving-suffering-forgiving on auto repete. Imagine! The rest of your days in perpetual bondage because you wantu answer MRS. LMAO. Please don't divorce biko. One less monster on the prowl is better for those still single and searching and avoiding tragedies like this.
Biko give the money to your husband so he can hire better lawyer and take those children from you or you think he doesn't want to leave you as well?
Madam please give this opportunity to your brother...He deserves it
ReplyDelete