STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN YOUR LOVER BORROWS MONEY FROM YOU
Good SDK and BVs
I need real advice.
There's this guy we've been on constant communication for over a year before we finally met about two weeks ago. His working and earns a salary of over 120k.
He's been talking marriage and we are actually praying and planning towards that come next year. My problem now is that he asked me to lend him 30k that he was going to pay back when he gets paid his salary.
I couldn't believe my eyes when he asked, this made me ask him if he has savings and he said yes.
I asked him how he has been spending his salary and he said when the money comes he shares it and manage himself with the little left. My question now is that am totally confused as I don't know if this is a bad sign.
Am I overreacting? thou I have given him the money but honestly my spirit feels so down right now.. Least I forget I have been footing the bills since he came to this town for his promotion exams.
*First off,make sure you collect that money back by month end you hear?Congratulations for officially becoming his ATM card....
If you marry this man please be ready to pay all the bills in the home....
Pls what is wrong in helping a loved 1. Seriously now. They are in a relationship so assisting each other should not b an issue. We should be mindful the advice we give oit
ReplyDeleteOkay Mrs perfect. They are advising women to be careful based off the track history of many men in a country where wives barely get legal recourse or spousal support if things go bad even if it’s her money, you’re there forming pious. Good women like you should start a fund to be donating to such men. So we wicked and selfish goldiggers can rest
DeleteWhen i met my husband he was a doctor, a terrible spender and had zero savings. I never knew how bad it was till it was time to pay for his exams and he had no dime! Meanwhile he had been taking me fine-dinning, gifts etc. I closed my eyes and borrowed him that money, thank God he passed very well. When he came back i sat him down and showed him my savings, my investments and what plans I had for the future. He later told me that was the day he made up his mind that he will climb a mountain to marry me nomatter what. He opened up about his salary, his extra side hustles and handed EVERYTHING over to me. I made sure I never disappointed him. I made sure I accounted for every dime he entrusted to me and he watched with awe and appreciation how he grew. It's been almost 7 years now and I am incharege and we keep growing.
DeleteMadam, its not a crime to give or help. When you help, go the extra mile to teach him how to manage his finances. We are women. We are not shameless takers. We are teachers and nurturers. But if you check him and he seems the type that is comfortable taking without effort to give and payback, not opening up, he is not worth it.
15:04 your head dey pain you. The guy claims he has savings and still went ahead to ask her money. What happened to his savings. As if it's not enough she has been paying for all his needs since he came to her place. Poster the red pen have spoken.
DeleteLovelace
A man who borrows money from a woman he's not married to is lousy. There's simply no other way to see this.
DeleteDoesn't he have family? Why won't they lend him the money?
Doesn't he have friends? Why won't they lend him the money?
Doesn't he have acquaintances? Why won't they lend him money?
Doesn't he have colleagues? Why won't they lend him money?
If it is that they would but he's too proud to ask them, think of the future with him, when your family needs money, he will be too proud to ask but will turn you to a beggar.
If if is that they won't lend him, how come those people who mostly know him better don't find him creditworthy? Does he have a track record of not paying back? Or is he known for being wasteful with funds? It's a red flag
Women be guided, stop lending money to lovers
Early Sign
DeleteMen should also be guided stop lending money to your lovers
DeleteAsk for your money at the end of the month..
ReplyDeleteIf he didn't pay you, use your head and do the needful..
Wait till month end and observe if he will pay you your money back. If he doesnt then ask for it. Dont start what you cannot finish, has he been sharing his salary with you and how come you are planning marriage without discussing finances, this is one reason marriages fail. Does he live in his own place and has he bn financially responsible. Dont go and enter one chance o
DeleteI wont advice her to ask. She can use this opportunity to know who the guy really is when it comes to money. Avoid any conversation that has to deal with the money and see if he will return it willingly without you asking, if he doesn't after 2 salary payment then you ask and make your decision.
DeleteNothing bad in lending him money once in a while, but never lend anyvody anything you cant forgo.
DeleteIt doesn't look good for her to be lending him money, a serious minded guy won't be living on a woman.
DeleteHe came for an examination n prepared for his finance. He claimed to have saving but borrowed money from her.
Something is np right but I will let her find out by hrself.
Vinoch liquid wash, if you make your money,be lending your bofriend you hear ?
I laugh in 'women love money'and men don't.
ReplyDelete🙄
Dont mind the men hiding behind feminism..the real gold diggers they're
DeleteAs in ehn....
DeleteLooooool
DeleteSpot on Stellz!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you the one footing his bills? What kind of rough play is that? I just hope he pays back.
DeleteYou need to also ask him for money when he pays back.
I read some advice here and shiver.
DeleteBefore we come for this man's throat, let's ask ourselves if we will give the same advice if the tables were to be turned.
The reality of the post Covid era has thrown many people into deep financial mess. I've had several working class friends call me to beg for as little as 3k...
If you love this man, and you have the money, there's absolutely no crime in helping him in his time of need. You're supposed to be not just a lover but also a friend.
Please let's not allow this idea of a "man must always provide' to deprive us of our humanity and compassion.
Maybe you have shown him already that you independent. I won't ask you please don't ask me. Madam please don't give him. Tell him you don't have and sit back to watch how he will change it for you. Then you will have your answer.
ReplyDeleteNne please don't give him. Tankio
She has given him already....
DeleteUncle chisom food don land, come and blow grammar
ReplyDeleteHaqhaqhahqahqhaq
DeleteYou've been "footing the bills since he came to the town..." meaning he is staying with you and you both are fornicating?
ReplyDeleteYou have more things to worry about; not just being the ATM, but the free sex supplier.
The first step to regain your sanity is to stop fornication. You head will be clearer to make other decisions. You need Christ in your life.🤔🤔🤔
How do u know they’re having sex or she doesn’t have Christ in her life.Everything is not about fornication,give good advice or u waka pass .
DeleteAnon you never disappoint 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
DeleteSays the perfectly perfect human. Did she say they are having sex? You just concluded in your infantile thoughts. Who says they must follow your God and bible. It's a free world, however they chose to live their lives is simply their choice in exercise of the freedom God gave us at the point of creation.
DeleteYvonne permit me join 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteNa scam oh, dem no dey pay back.
ReplyDeleteThis your bobo wan turn you to Atm. He should be able to manage his resources. If you didn't have nkor?
Use your head oh to avoid stories that touch
JUST TRY AND COLLECT YOUR MONEY FIRST COS I SENSE STORIES UPON STORIES THAT WILL COME UP AT MONTH END. CONGRATULATIONS AS RIGHTLY SAID BY STELLA, YOU ARE HIS NEW ATM TILL YOU START USING YOUR HEAD.
ReplyDeleteHelluurrrrrr...in madea's voice.
ReplyDeleteCollect your money back. If you marry him, you will become the breadwinner. u can go ahead if u have no qualms.
Helluurrrrrr...in madea's voice.
ReplyDeleteCollect your money back. If you marry him, you will become the breadwinner. u can go ahead if u have no qualms.
Make sure you send him a text asking for your money back and keep that text and if you transfered it to him keep records. Any attempt to not pay back pls write a petition to his office and ensure you get your money back. Hes a scammer and leech. How will he come for exams without plans on supporting himself but bank on you for feeding accommodation loan and free sex. Use your head o
Delete***First off,make sure you collect that money back by month end you hear?
ReplyDeleteWhada hell😂
SDK IS THE REAL DRAMA QUEEN😂😂😂😂😁😁😁
Someone who is talking marriage plans with you, do not have as little as 30k? Do you look like a joke to him. Does he really have a job? I do not understand how he lacks little savings with the salary he gets. He shares the money? With who? Does he have kids, a wife?
ReplyDeleteWhat responsibilities does he have?
If he truly has a job then he lacks financial management skills. Simply because he talks marriage with you doesn't mean he wants to marry you. He sounds unserious more like a loafer. Are you sure he is not married? I think he has got no good plans for you. He is just fooling you.
She has been footing the bills since he came into town. That for me is already a red flag
DeleteBecause someone says they want to marry you doesn't mean they can marry you
DeleteWomen have standards !
Lol, stella gat me in stitches🤣🤣 @ congratulations for officially becoming his ATM card 😄😆.Make sure you collect ya money back oo poster
ReplyDeleteSome women need to allow men be responsible...if a man cannot give from the little he has, at least don’t collect or be a burden to a woman. Stop pampering men this way, they need to live up to their full potentials.
ReplyDeleteGbamsolutely...
DeleteLas Las.....you go wise up.
ReplyDeleteBabe, honestly speaking I was once in your shoes.biko run for your life ooo this is a new way of scamming,he will make you believe he can take care of you but will drain you out(MONEY)when he realise you have fallen in love.
ReplyDeleteHe has nothing to offer you,if truly he earns 120k monthly then why would he be asking you for 30k? no matter how bad he spends money, he should have atleast small savings left.
Biko runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
Nothing wrong in lending to a loved one...but you guys met physically 2weeks ago, and he is asking you for cash?
ReplyDeleteThat's the only red flag. Apart from that , it's perfectly normal for a lady to help a male lover.
DeletePoster.. take time to focus more on understanding the guy and his motives and plans than worrying about you money you gave him. He may richer than you but just testing your love and care for him
ReplyDeletePele o..litmus test
DeletePoster, you're officially his burden bearer....
ReplyDeleteNne forget that guy,you never find husband. Shiloh starts 8th December,pls go to any Living Faith Church close to you and ask God for your man. He did it for others, yours can't be different. Meanwhile don't forget to collect your money. Obodo siri ike now.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThe way I react to issues is putting myself in the other person's shoe. If the story was reversed would your disposition still be the same?
There's nothing wrong in helping out someone you are in a relationship which, the problem is we are always in a hurry to do several thing and forget to try and understand who are in a relationship with. That you are even in a relationship with him, should mean you trusted him to an extent.
My issue is not that he asked you for an assistance, that can be you tomorrow. My problem is that he's putting up with you, while writing his professional exam without contributing to the upkeep. If he was lodging, wouldn't there be a provision to that effect.
It's a different thing if you invited him to stay at your place. In this instance most people don't have the good heart of helping out willfully. I think you too don't understand each other enough to start a relationship in the first place. As fort him, he seems like someone who will make excuses for their responsiveness. If you think he loves you as much as you love him, start letting him realise you see relationship as a partnership. That way you are letting him understand his role in the relationship because will highlight you are not in it for the taken. As he need to sit-up to and live his part of the relationship.
As for the money, lend him if you can and watch his attitude between now and when he pays back. That will show you the kind of person you are dating. Find out if he is the first son or the touch bearer of his family - in either case, their responsibilities are more than those of a family man. Think carefully in such instance with the relationship. Because you'd sacrifice more in it.
Understanding is what undermines relationships in this present time.
His talking marriage hahaha that guy is a scammer by the time he has finish with you ehn you won't see eyes to cry.
ReplyDeletePoster borrow him 10k NOT 30k just incase he doesn’t pay it back so it won’t hurt you
ReplyDeletePoster N120,000 salary-earner cannot support himself much less a marriage.
ReplyDeletePlease, ABORT MISSION!
Don't lend him any money. A man with dignity will borrow from his male friends and not belittle himself before a girlfriend he just met physically 2 weeks ago. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Gbamest......a man with dignity will not borrow from a gf he barely knows. What happened to his friends? He will not pay you back because for him to have shamelessly borrowed from you, means it was well calculated. Don’t be surprise if he used the money to pamper his main gf. God forgive me, everything I typed is based on human reasoning and experiences ooo. Dont be anxious after reading all the advise here and start being cold to him. Just let everything play out. Please update us later ooo
Delete120 salary earner can't support a family, really? That means most of you girls aren't going to get married.
DeleteHow much does a graduate employed by the federal government earn?
Wow, wow wow!🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
18.25
DeleteE no weak you??? How much do resident doctors earn in Nigeria that 120k can’t start a family? Hian!
My dear you better run for your life. My sister relationship started with borrow me I will pay back... 8 years into marriage Na me Dey pay bills. I pity you
ReplyDeleteStop only do the basics please
DeleteDon't pamper irresponsible adults
Red flag,he is a cunny man.why should you be paying for things every time.He should first show he is a man capable to be a husband.
ReplyDeleteIt is wise of you to be cautious. Sometimes things happen, but most men are too proud to ask their lady for money first, those with a strong identity will try any avenue before going to a woman. You will have to discuss money before you proceed with marriage and you have to ask who he is sharing money with to the point he has barely anything for himself. You may have to postpone the wedding until you have a full understanding of what you are getting yourself into because I don't think you even know everything right now.
ReplyDeleteThis is a tricky subject so please use words that are positive as much as you can. Use wisdom but give proper guidance of what life may look like going into a marriage with him having so many responsibilities already and the strain that would put on your marriage and ability to grow materially.
The clue is in the fact that she said they have been 'talking' for a year but only met 2 weeks ago. Something is off madam. Make sure you get your money back no matter what.
ReplyDeleteThis one na one chance
ReplyDeleteJust two weeks of meeting one on one he asked for a loan?!
ReplyDeleteSERIOUSLY?!!!!! And you're the one footing the bills since he came in?
BABE, please wake up and dump him. In this 2020? Even if he pays back, please dump him. I'm so angry on your behalf typing this. What a mess!
WHAT NONSENSE!
ReplyDeleteMarry what?! With what?
Please start husband hurting if that's on your list. What you have in your life is an enlighten, educated manipulative parasite!
What manner of a MAN IS COMFORTABLE IN A WOMEN'S HOUSE,NOT TO TALK OF LETTING HER FOOT HIS BILLS AND STILL ASK FOR LOAN?!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
please dump the "boy" and get your money back.
WHAT NONSENSE!
ReplyDeleteMarry what?! With what?
Please start husband hurting if that's on your list. What you have in your life is an enlighten, educated manipulative parasite!
What manner of a MAN IS COMFORTABLE IN A WOMEN'S HOUSE,NOT TO TALK OF LETTING HER FOOT HIS BILLS AND STILL ASK FOR LOAN?!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
please dump the "boy" and get your money back.