STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE TIME TABLE
Dear Stella and BVs...
I have a question.
Please o, do people make timetable for sex? I was in a no sex relationship and he just paid the bride price and we decided to start the doing. My soon to be ex has a timetable for sex that goes like this....
Wednesday 7 pm to 7.30 pm we fuck, Friday 9pm to 9.30 pm,we fuck, Saturday 10 pm to 11 pm fucking and Sunday too much fucking!
PRINTED IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!!
I'm not lying, I want to post this timetable if possible. You will be cooking and he will yell from the sitting room ''Nne, chetakwa na anyi ga ala otu tataa by 9pm Sharp''( babe remember that we're going to do the do today by 9pm sharp).
''Ifugo na amu na warm up''(you can see my body is warming up while touching it with a very stupid smile on his face. Then he will ask you, are you ready? As if you're about to perform sacrifice...and Once he is done, he will say nne thank o, nke today atokakwa!!!!( thanks, today's own is very sweet and face the wall while snoring like an obsessed pig!
At first I thought it was funny and he was joking but he kept to that timetable and it became annoying and I no longer enjoy it. Even when we're visiting friends, he will tell them that we have to leave because we have something we always do by so and so day and time.
I tried breaking the habit by trying to get him excited on normal days and he refuse and said I should hold body till Wednesday. So I stopped sleeping with him for a week because I wanted him to break that habit of treating sex like an appointment and taking away the fun in it.
The one that broke everything is that his mother, that's my mother in-law called me and was yelling at me, asking why I'm not following the timetable because that's what get her son excited!!!!! Then the elder sister called too begging me to please follow the timetable.
The one that made me threw up is that an uncle in the village called and asked me to respect myself and submit myself to my husband and his timetable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please, anyone in this predicament? Is it normal? I'm calling off everything because it shows that outsiders will be in control of my home if I stay with him. Stella Thank you.
Ritual tinxz
ReplyDeleteAs in ehhhhh Ritualistic things hahahahhahahahha u see no sex b4 marriage too have disadvantage Hahahahahahah
DeleteHahahaha. Nkea atokwa mu iche.
DeleteYou mean you are still typing from his house like this???
God knows I won't spend less or more than a month with such human, cos hearing all these you typed up he says whenever he wants to do will be damn irritating me. What!!!!!!!
Not necessarily ritual.
DeleteThe timetable is his fetish.
Run for your life with your womb intact. He is a ritualistic, not normal at all
DeleteIt might not ritual, must be a family thing, maybe that was or is how6the pops does. Obviously they are a close knit family, he must likely pick some habit, some for the fun if it.
DeleteNah, not ritual but if you can't cope, it's not too late to take a walk.
DeleteWhen you are educated and you marry Oke Brazil, you likely going to have this kind of experience. I don't think its ritual.
DeleteAs in.... Real ritual.
DeleteFaints
Deleteotu tataa
DeleteNnem, my husband just read this with me, and told me that your husband made a vow somewhere. He told me about achurch he attended at PH that told him that once is 6pm,he will never have sex with a woman be it wife or gf. You need to ask him some certain things.
DeleteThough he doesn't attend that church again but it was an eye opener for him.
I am TEAM PREMARITAL SEX for life! If your courtship included sex you would have known what sort of psycho he was. Now you have to make do with a raving lunatic for life or go through the crazy process of returning bride price. What of the embarrassment of explaining to your family to justify them returning bride price?
DeleteFor goodness sake; meet a guy, let him 'toast' you, go on dates, get to know him and ask questions. See if you are attracted to him enough to allow a kiss, then French kiss. He has to work to impress you and vise vasa. Allow touches, affections then when you are sure you are truly attracted to him, GO AHEAD AND HAVE SAFE SEX!!! In fact, its after sex that you see a man's true colour. Some of them withdraw or change for bad after sex, please let them go. To a man who haven't slept with you, it is a quest. You may play your games well till he marries you but A man who gets turned off after sex will not be be changed becauseof a certificate. So he will wait and unleash his true colours be it in the marriage or whenever. Nothing beats a man who you have truly courted and even at that nothing is guaranteed but at least, you have an idea. This is a tested fact and safer than blind buying a life time companion.
@Saphire
DeleteNo premarital sex is "safe sex"
It won't save you from guilt and God's wrath.
แบธ̀jแบน̀ Jรฉsรน, please talk to your people to return the bride price o, this is not normal at all and the fact the whole family want you have it in h means something dey sele. Correct rituals, you shall not die before your glory, please japa.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteYes I totally agree ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ nah ritualistic behavior be that oo
DeleteStrange.
ReplyDeleteFunnyly strange ๐คฃif I may spake
DeleteVery very strange
DeleteThank God I didn't open this post earlier in public. I would have disgraced myself with laughter๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
ReplyDeleteI'm literally rolling on the floor with tears too. I've never read anything as funny as this before๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃhe reach laugh abeg
DeleteWetin Musa eyes Don see for gate nobi small ๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteIfugo na amu na warm up''(you can see my body is warming up while touching it with a very stupid smile on his face. Then he will ask you, are you ready? As if you're about to perform sacrifice...and Once he is done, he will say nne thank o, nke today atokakwa!!!!( thanks, today's own is very sweet and face the wall while snoring like an obsessed pig!
OMG...This is funniest thing I've read in a while
As in ehn.....Poster, you're trying oooo
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteI am literally rolling on the floor.๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteChai! Nne, run with ur womb o. This looks fishy. Too fishy!
ReplyDelete๐๐๐๐๐.I find this chronicle funny and strange at the same time.wtf
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ @ run with your womb.
DeleteDidn’t know women usually run ๐♀️ with their womb left behind.
I am not sure this is ordinary. Your husband should open up to you the reason why it must be that specific time and days.
ReplyDeleteOmg i don't even know what to make out of this chronicle.๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฆ
DeletePls permit me to lol first๐๐๐๐๐๐.
ReplyDeleteThis man is a pure Omata man ikwakwakwakwaaaaaa.
Let me finish it first
Seriously na pure omata local village champion she won marry sooooo๐๐๐...soon him go call village meeting say you no gree blow am again...via say em don pay pride price ๐ ๐
DeleteSame thing I said up there. This Omata things๐๐๐๐๐๐
DeleteTry talking to him the last time before u make a decision, you need to know if there is more to it(why include family members on something embarrassing like this if other wise?)or try to see if its just a FETISH though a festish can't be this serious, he should be able to go about sex normally most of the time and only use time table a few times!
DeleteIs your husband educated?
ReplyDeleteI am asking too poster. Please laugh don catch me tire. Wow at today's chronicle...
DeleteLovelace
Hell naaah! One can simply tell from this write-up that he isn't..
DeleteDon't think so....๐๐คฆ๐ฝ♂
DeleteWhat you allow is what will continue. The first time he mentioned it, if you had told him flat out that its weird and you cannot follow any time table, he might have seen how serious you are, and call it off. I'll advice you leave since you are not comfortable. It seems to be a ritual of some sort he is into.
ReplyDeleteDid he ever talked about his timetable when you were both dating?
DeleteYou should have ๐ this immediately you realized it.
It is a turn off for me.
This is so hilarious! Love making should be unconstrained.This entire inflexibility takes the fun and excitement out from it. I don't have the foggiest idea what to say to you. Does he take sexual enhancers to get it up? hence the need to regulate times.
ReplyDeleteI am speechless too
DeleteIt could be health challenge issues that he needs to take medics to get charged up....
DeleteAnd he doesn't want his wife to know about it ...
Very possible
DeleteTime table kwa? Orisirisi ๐คญ
ReplyDeleteOkokobioko
ReplyDeleteNothing we no go read for Stella blog.๐
Time table for fuckery again๐ฅบ
Thought have seen it all.
Madam run for your life...dis one no follow at all
I'm telling you, we've indeed read it all here๐ณ.
Delete,๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃStella blog is dynamic not static.
Delete@chisom I swear to God๐
DeleteRadiant D. ova dynamic๐
Will be back to read comments
Comment section will be on fire.๐ฅ๐ฅ
๐ ๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐คฃ
ReplyDeleteWtf, is he in any secret society?
ReplyDeleteLemme laugh first before I finish reading this chronicle๐๐๐๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteThis is seriously serious๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ.
ReplyDeleteAs in sex time table????
Mbakwa o. Are you sure the man is not a ritualist.
STELLA ABEG MARK THIS CHRONICLE DOWN AS THE CHRONICLE OF THE YEAR!
WHAAAAT๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ.
I didn't know when I burst out laughing at this chronicle. Poster, this one your soon to be husband's family is aware of the timetable, are you sure you can cope when details of what you discuss inside the bedroom becomes topic of National importance. If you can cope, no problem but if you cannot, you know what to do.
ReplyDeleteIf you know how to pound, pound inside the mortar. if you don't know how to Pound, do the pounding on the floor.
Udo.
Everyone is all up in you guys private business and pleading with you to follow the stipulated time?
ReplyDeleteI honestly do not know what to say.
This is......Strange!
Is not a private bussiness again
DeleteFamily that is aware of sex timetable.
My dear it is questionable.
Poster you better move
Pray to God to purify you..
I cant find my jaw๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฑ
ReplyDeleteIs ds for real???
ReplyDeleteMehn, this one carry weight o
ReplyDeleteIfugo na amu na warm up means can you see my dick is warming up not my body is warming up.
ReplyDeleteI thought I had read it all on sdk
ReplyDeleteOK now that I've finished laughing I feel its kind of spiritual, if not why is everybody so interested in the timetable?
ReplyDelete100% spiritual,his mum is also aware like WTF
DeleteNne run!!!! That marriage won't last!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to tell you to calm down before that he will get tired as time goes on. But aftrr rrading to the end and the part where every body started calking you because of your sex life, I'm beginning to think maybe theres more to this thing o. Abi are they using it to do something ni?
ReplyDeleteMe sef follow you open mouth. I dey come make i process wetin i read
ReplyDeleteStella even your Red Pen FROZE.
ReplyDeleteIt is very important to have these conversations while courting.
People need to be more honest about their expectations and desires .
I think it would curb a lot.
E gba mi ooo๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteThis one is strong but as for me, I believe Jesus will intervene
*slowly clapping my hands with my mouth wide open*
ReplyDeleteIm just happy you referred to him as your soon to be ex because there's nothing else to say to this.
๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteWhat the freaking f*ck did I just read! Nne thank God it's not too late just jejely return his bride price and face your front. Inukwa uncle from village follow chuck mouth for the kin matter!
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha I could not stop ๐ ๐๐๐๐. I have never heard this one before. You sef create timetable and tell your family to also call him that he needs to follow the time table too. Did he not tell u about this time table prior to your bride price being paid? No need for divorce o. The bride price has already been paid. You are now his wife in the eyes of God. Call your family into this matter pls.
ReplyDeleteEnd time Timetable. It's obvious that he has a mentality that has been poisoned. His foundation is faulty and will take only education and exposure to repair.
ReplyDeleteTimetable is used only when u are trying to conceive or on family planning using the woman's menstrual cycle as timetable.
Check well, the man may have been TTC with his ex or married before and was told those days were his productive days. Mumu man raise to power 1 million.
True, could be he has issues with getting a woman pregnant. But I don’t know how these traditional men go about thinking they can just rope in women into their situations without letting them know about them.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat did i just read? There's nothing one will not see in this institution called "marriage". Nne, please if you can't coop, quit. The earlier, the better.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha Jesus! Chei! You go fear time table of life. Kai, is better you run now if you will not be able to follow the time table of life o. Maybe that is what gets him on. Hmmm that is why I cannot be in a no sex relationship, I must taste and be satisfied before saying I do. Can you imagine?
ReplyDeleteposter is his name Arinze from Anambra
DeleteHuh?!! Stella did you see this? Please repost this o. We need a follow up
DeleteWhat is this?? ๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteChronicle ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteChronicle of the year babe
DeletePlease help me ask ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteAs in...
DeleteAs in ,nawa ๐
DeletePlease don't even listen to anyone that will tell u to stay... please run as ur leg can carry u.inukwa timetable and uncle,mother sister calling u.
ReplyDeleteOkay,it’s weird enough dat there’s a time table now it’s more weird dat the family knows and encourage this habit..Do what you got to do ๐
ReplyDeleteThat family is into something deep and they all know. Timetable ke. Stay far away from them and Pray to God to reveal and expose all that’s hidden. More things will start revealing itself. Just pray!!
ReplyDeleteDon't carry yourself and enter one chance marriage biko.
You better run that your husband to be his mentally not okay.
ReplyDeleteI found this very funny ooo๐๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteMy colleague that's a spirikoko told us she and hubby get to pray b4 love making starts.
My sister na you de wear the show. ...so do.whatever gives you peace
Sorry dear poster I had to ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Jesu I thought I have heard it all๐๐๐ do what makes you happy cos this his mindset for timed sex is not what he can change anything time soon!
ReplyDeleteOr is there something he and his family ain't telling you? Cos this might just be rituals oh! Just wondering really ๐ค๐ค
Chaiiiii....๐๐๐๐คฆ๐ฝ♂๐คฆ๐ฝ♂
ReplyDeleteWhich kinda local Igbo man you marry so..???
๐๐๐๐๐Pele but I have to laugh because this your chronicle is very funny.
ReplyDeleteHaving time table for sex is very wrong and your man will not change. You either accept him like that or walk away. It will be boring having sex time table.
Where is the fun in making out, where is it written in the holy body that couples should have time table. If you keep time table for it the anxiety will not let you enjoy it but sex can only be enjoyed when you do it without planning for it.
Leave that man alone before he use you for sacrifice, I am sure his cult members gave him instructions when to have sex so that they can control your conception and destiny.
Hmmmmmm this time table dikwa serious. For everyone to call you even reach villa, this is serious.
ReplyDeleteMaybe traditional or can I say it is ritual.
Some people have time table in their heads.
It's funny but there is more to come especially from his family members. Follow your instincts!
ReplyDeleteWhy is the timing Nd date such a big issue to him,to the extent that he has to tell family members to interfere in ur private matter?that means there is more to him imposing sex on u at specific hours and days,it’s either he is a ritualist or he is authoritative and wants things to only be done his way.sex between couples should be spontaneous and fun,not with a time table.what is this madness?? I’m sure he has bin with other women and this same thing drove them out that is why his family members are calling u Upand down,Run for ur life my sister.
ReplyDeleteThis is strange. The only time you should observe time table should be if you have taken drugs that aid conception and it will be on the days the doctor tells you. Even a doctor won't give you a specific time for the do, just the days ( I stand to be corrected).
ReplyDeleteAll I have to say is-RUN๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฏ
ReplyDelete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
ReplyDeletePoster, is your husband an Igbo uneducated business man? Anambra state precisely๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Those ones have even started taking their intending brides for pelvic scan. Any small thing the scan shows, they run
DeletePls don't bring Anambra men here. Abi your own husband have his own time table and he is from Anambra?
Deleteobviously Anambra. posted you have entered one chance if his name starts with the letter A
DeleteThey haven't told you the whole truth. There is probably money rituals involved in this sex lifestyle
ReplyDeletewhich those calling you are beneficiaries of. Your husband should let you in on what is happening.
If he does not, get the mother to spill.
If you love him, then be ready to fight and such fights are only won when you are in Christ. ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
Guten Tag ooh
ReplyDeleteNne run oh.ndi ogwu ego.They have a plan.
Testing my recovered ID .
Weird, hilarious and strange.
ReplyDeleteHe probably is a ritualist and following the rules given to him. I'd advise you take a break from the marriage to sort yourself out.
I laughed hard at first but seriously this one no follow. Poster please walk out from that situationship and let your people return the bride price. Na waoh
ReplyDeleteThis is incredible
ReplyDeletelol its funny but its the truth, you should submit to him, he is your head.
ReplyDelete1)Do both of you not discuss about sex and how to handle it during courtship ?
2)Have you discuss the issue with him and give your suggestion in a polite way ?
3)Have you discuss this with your pastor and hear what he have to say ?
4)Have you discuss it with your mother ?
My sister marriage is a lifetime convenant, and both side must keep their part. The answer is simple, a woman or let me say a wife is not supposed to force her husband into making any decision even though the husband is going to put he's hands on fire, she only suggest and its left for the man to either accept or reject it, if at the end the man gets to know that its a wrong choice he made he hand learnt his lesson also you as the woman can then remind him of what you told him, this will make him listen to you next time. Marriage is better for worst. See my sister in marriage you both will eat each other shit, satisfy each other, enjoy each other etc. I would have say more but let me end it like this. You should seek the opinion i made mention of above, but the true been told you must do what your husband asked you to do as far its not something bad, against God,not what will kill you etc Even though he wakes up at night 2.00am and tell you to cook for him you should, that's what marriage put you, am not trying to say you should be a slave, but be submissive. Sarah called Abraham her husband my lord,and i think you should check the meaning of My Lord. You can't get married to someone you can't submit to.
@Poster...Is your husband's name Isaac..? ๐๐
DeleteI swear ๐คฃ๐๐, e reach to ask if her husband’s name is Isaac.
DeleteIsaac, please limit this type of advice to only your church people. Inugo nna!
Isaac, what is this nitori olohun? Hehehehe, nothing wey I no go read on Stella blog, mehn!!! ๐ฑ
DeleteNonsense.
DeleteWhat is this one's own problem? Send your chronicle please.
DeleteWhen you men quote the submission part of the bible, please complete it. Remember the part about husbands loving the wife as Christ loved the church and gave HIMSELF up for it?? Can't oga give up his timetable??
Delete๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃIyke !!!!!!
DeleteLmaooooooo
This Isaac will be worse than the posters husband. Are you for real?
DeleteI feel like pushing you inside potor potor.
DeleteShe should discuss sex timetable with her pastor and her mom?
Archaic man
I know your Isaac can't be a product of Abraham and Sarah...
DeleteSheldon Cooper thingz ....hehehehehehehe
ReplyDeleteah.....how you take know? Sheldon the robot
DeleteExactly. Not everything is ritual. I don't mind such a man. He seems principled and disciplined.
DeleteI was hoping to see this comment. I recall Sheldon Cooper on The Big Bang Theory had a timetable for sex. Because his wife wasn't comfortable with it, she told him not to show her the timetable.
DeleteNot everything is jazz. Your husband may just have a mild home of autism like Sheldon Cooper and his family is aware of it.
Wonders shall never cease
ReplyDeleteOpen your eyes now before you will come back to ask for advice here again.
1. How did all these third parties get to know this time table
2. Ar you sure you will tolerate third parties in your marriage
3. Did the Holy Book of God mentioned timetable for sex
4. Did you know that one day all friends will know this timetable after your wedding.
Please dear don't start what you cannot end.
If he is ready to delete that timetable from his head and third parties in the marriage, you can go ahead to marry him if you love him, provided he will not use it to punish you in the marriage.
Please he is not ready to delete the timetable from his dictionary, better use the day to look for your lost black goat before it will get dark
๐๐.
DeleteIt also sounds Christian Grey and Anastasia Steel ish in fifty shades of grey lol..
DeleteWhen it all started you allowed it probably believing things will change. Why accept what you know is not comfortable for you. Now that it has gone pass don't be stupid, you want changes. Not everything is spiritual / fetish. It is possible the only way he can have an erection is when he prepares for sex psychologically. We read about men who will not have erection, if they don't hit the woman, some men have to masturbate mins before sex. I read about a guy who is motivated by black pants and bras, if the woman is wearing a different colour of pant and bra regardless of erected he was before the woman took off her close, the dick go flat.
ReplyDeleteSay what?
ReplyDeleteHope there is no strange reason for this
Are you freaking kidding me... This is absurd!
ReplyDeleteDon't mind these oversabi people. Follow the time table. It's what he enjoys. It's not ritual. It's also shows that he has self control. My dear husbands are scarce ooo.๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
ReplyDeleteAre you for real๐
DeleteI guess you are being sarcastic ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteOmo see gobe
ReplyDeleteThis one na serious GbasGbos
Set awon ritualist....please run dear poster
It is either a ritual or a sickness
ReplyDeleteLike he religiously keeps to this time table and never fails, there must be something more to it.
Nothing wey person no go hear for this world
Nne bike run as long as you can't keep up with this, disaster is ahead
This is serious ๐ฑ๐ณ wetin person no go read... It is well with you poster!
ReplyDeleteSome ppl need to create a schedule because otherwise it would never happen, especially if they have busy lives. There are other women who have not been touched in years, you best believe they would be happy for a time table situation. All the time table does is make sure that intimacy happens. Nothing to worry about in my opinion here.
ReplyDeleteMaybe as she’s leaving, one of those women that has not been touched in years can now come in.
DeleteWTF! Is he doing her a favor or what, isn’t it supposed to be enjoyed by both parties.
I wonder the way some people reason. So she should thank him for keeping a timetable that he alone put together? Master/slave mentality needs to stop. She cannot access her husband on days not included in the timetable, who does that? Poster please the family is hiding something from you and it has nothing to do with rituals. Search all over the house and you might find the truth. Could be hiv, impotency, or something more. Search under the bed, his favorite bag or box. Snoop to conquer ๐. Please we will need an update. Ask a medical doctor some valid questions that have to do with a man picking constant specific days and time to have sex....GD
DeleteHow about the one they have to hurry back from wherever they went to just to keep to this timetable?
DeleteSomething is not right abeg
Lol,imagine his mother,sister and uncle calling you..babe pls if you can't cope pack yea bag and japa..
ReplyDeleteFunny Chronicles but poster why did you accept it before? Different people dey this life.
ReplyDeleteShe accepted when love was blind
DeleteThis one weak me...
ReplyDeleteThis is so weird and not making any sense. Imagine his village people interfering in your business.
ReplyDeleteOpen your eyes and mind poster.
Don't ever start what you can't finish! If you had said NO from the beginning, maybe he would have re-traced his steps.
ReplyDeleteThis is quite strange though, its not even funny to me because I'm worried about you.
A woman might want to use timetable when its time to get pregnant or prevent pregnancy, but I don't get why a man should be using timetable.
So, what will now happened when you're pregnant?!
Will he now force himself on you when you're having a rough and tough day?!
Please, you both should go for counseling, he needs it!
It was just another funny read until I got to the part that MIL, uncle and big sis are discussing timetable.
ReplyDeleteDear poster sex to me is a private discuss between parties involve, when there is a timetable that is even the family is aware of.hmmmmmm, its just hmmmmmm.
Also there is more to it than what we just read o, there is something that's being appeased by following the timetable. Jusdge it yourself whether you'll be able else.......
Hahahaha there is no ritual there, the man is principle and authoritative man that wants everything to go by his rule. Poster if can't take it quit now.
ReplyDeleteIt was just another funny read until I got to the part that MIL, uncle and big sis are discussing timetable.
ReplyDeleteDear poster sex to me is a private discuss between parties involve, when there is a timetable that is even the family is aware of.hmmmmmm, its just hmmmmmm.
Also there is more to it than what we just read o, there is something that's being appeased by following the timetable. Jusdge it yourself whether you'll be able else.......
Nne I laughed so hard because my case is somehow similar to yours just that he didn't write it out, The second time I met my husband,he was lodged in a hotel and I was in the uni then,he insisted that I must spend the night with him,I refused cos I was to write my last paper the next day,he was obviously upset but i maintained my stance and left but promised to come after my exams. Then next day I came with my luggage cos we will be heading home from there,oga said he must have sex with him,I refused cos this is the second time I have seen him,we were match made by our parents. Oga was really angry ,I overheard him speaking to someone on phone complaining that I am forming virgin mary that he must taste something, so I confronted him and he apologized laughing sheepishly. That night he woke me up and told me that it's not possible for me to lay like a mermaid looking very sexy yet I won't agree to have sex,he started telling me that he loves sex too much,that when we eventually get married we will be fucking by 5.30 am every morning before he leaves for gym,when he's back we fuck again before he leaves for work. Then on Saturday I shouldn't entertain any visitors cos it's a day set aside solely for fucking,on sunday we fuck before 7AM mass,then resume fucking till when he can no longer do. He stated that once he is around, bum shorts and tights are prohibited, I must tie rapper for easy access, infact his orders concerning sex was terrible. So I told him that I won't do any of those things, I left the next day and called off the marriage. He continued begging cos somehow we have fallen in love with each other. After the marriage this man would fuck me till I get sore,and his penis will peel,he eould used vaseline but it becoming unbearable for me. I called his sister and narrated my ordeal she made the matter worse by telling his best man to caution him and the guy mocked him and all their circle of friends about it,that was the day my husband beat the living day out of me and that same sister encouraged him to beat me more. I was bruised all over,cos the beating was three consecutive times in one week. I decided to allow him do as he wants. I would lie on the bed,spread my legs and he would fuck me mercilessly,my Vijay was always dry . Till he started to fondle my breast or caress me but I have developed hatred for him. One day I came back from market one Saturday, I saw a bouquet of flower,a box of chocolate and cheque of 500,000 with a written note saying 'baby please forgive,my God father made me to understand that I am wrong. He came out asked for forgiveness, he said that since I started spreading my legs without any form of emotion he decided to tell his Fod father who told him that should stop seeing me as object of sex,that as a wife I am more that that to him .I forgave him and we had a mind blowing sex. Since that day I try as much as I can to satisfy him and he also try to understand if I say no. It's been 11 years, intact our sex life has been bliss,he hasn't been violent towards me after that first incident. On my part I noticed that soon I started giving birth I enjoy sex more. I would have regretted if I didn't marry him. I follow him whenever ever he travels abroad for business, I travelled one time with 3month old baby to China with him and his aproko sister asked him why ,he told her to mind her business. We joke about those rules now.
ReplyDeleteThank God it ended in praise
DeleteWow
DeleteThe sister and best man did not try na
Thank God it ended well
nollywood movie. poster dont listen to this rubbish write up. this person may even know you. your husband beat you and suddenly became a saint because of his God father. story for the Gods.
Delete๐๐๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteNne if you can't take it let your people return the bride price.
Chai, this is so hilarious but a serious matter.
madam if his name is Arinze, they are still petting you. once you get pregnant even the elder sister will change it for you.
DeleteThis chronicle shock me oooooooooo...
ReplyDeleteHaving timetable for sex and sticking to it? I've never heard of such, what if you are sick? Period? Not in the mood etc,to even think his mom, sisters and uncle had to meddle in the matter,is another thing that gives me concern....it may be that's his fetish, how his mentality is made up etc I don't think he's ritualistic.
To know if there's more to it,as his family have meddled in, tell your people too and give him your own timetable ( two can play the game)and see how it goes....... even though love is about making sacrifices, love isn't selfish...
That guy is suffering from erectile dysfunction. That's the reason he agreed for the No Sex Relationship in the first place.
ReplyDeleteI think oga takes sex enhancer pills to get erection. I also think his mom and sister knows about his problem but are hiding the truth from you, thinking they can bully you into submission. It doesn't work that way.. they should have come out plainly so you can agree to work with your hubby free willingly, while on the quest to getting a solution. Now, they have messed up their opportunity.
Be careful tho, these kind of people go extreme to hide their shame. Tell the people you trust in your family immediately about what is going on, and let him know some of your people are in the know, it would serve as an insurance for what ever evil plan they come up with.
This could be the truth poster. He may be taking sex enhancement drugs. That is why he could time it.
DeleteThere's more to it. Its either they are into some kind of family ritual and was warned by whoever from their village to stick to it for him to get a male child or so... Hence the reporting. My dear, tell your parents and your people before its too late. Let him know that your family is aware. Pray and scatter that stupid plan. If he has dyfunction or anything God will expose them. But if you wanna leave, the choice is yours.
DeleteThe thing I just read so get as e be... my sister this is abnormal. Please take a walk why u still can.
ReplyDeleteWhat will one not read on this blog.. I don't even think they are compatible in the first place, then this.. Some people don't even follow their food timetable as strictly as this.
ReplyDeleteLife ndi Omata. So crude! Inukwa time table for Ila otu! Ya lagbukwaa onwe ya there!
ReplyDeleteWhat is Omata please? Saw it in some comments up there too.
DeleteOnitsha market traders association (omata)
Deletethis is funny and serious. From your chronicle, you already know you may not be able to cope. I'll advice you get him to understand how much you are not comfortable with his demands. If he insists on it, then you know where to draw the line. The earlier the better
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong in drawing a timetable. But you two must have drawn it together. I think there's gonna be problem if the whole village will hear how you people do or not do sex in your home... You have married a community
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can say is,What if children starts coming, so how will the time table now work,or if you or him happen to be in traffic jam on one of these days he scheduled for sex.
ReplyDeleteWetin go happen I dey ask
Absolutely bizarre
ReplyDeleteIt felt strange reading this.
ReplyDeleteIt felt strange reading this.
ReplyDeletePoster, please sit him down and let him know how you feel about the time table. Let him know that you're not happy and hardly enjoy the do.Explain to him that sec is not meant to be scheduled.If he insist please talk to your mother or father about it and tell them to invite him for a chart.
ReplyDeleteOMG! What did i just read??? ๐ก๐ฑ๐ค๐คจ
ReplyDelete๐๐๐๐๐๐ I can't.
ReplyDeleteHahahahah for real. Which kind time table.. sex should be a spontaneous reaction with your partner. Not because he is now married to me, he will now do sex schedule n turn me into a slave for sex..abeg I can't deal. Next thing u r telling your mum n elder sister ,ka gini mezie now. Mscheewww.
ReplyDeleteI have never supported not fucking until after marriage because, *in most cases*,it doesn't yield the best outcome. It just goes against every law of nature.Some will say it is self-discipline,but to me,it reeks of deceit on both sides. Making love is supposed to be spontaneous.If I am dating you,that means I am into you and I can't be into you and not wanting you(as in yearning to make love to you),unless I am getting it from another person.
ReplyDeleteFor this lady's own,na she use her leg enter one chance,so she better stroll or run out. The way she describes the man attitude/manners towards sex sef,e be like say na stark illiterate she go marry. Man wey dey say "today own sweet well well",tufiakwa!
If it is possible,I for like ask her "how did you guys get married in the first place?did you guys date and you didn't notice any of his quirkiness? One of you must have been deceiving the other or you must have been too desperate to be called a Mrs.Now you have seen that being a Mrs is overrated and your past relationships (even University love) sweet pass this your marriage to Okoro.Stay there if you want to be getting penis,on specific days,like a meal on a restaurant menu"
Strange, occultic and bizarre.
ReplyDeleteThis guy wants a marriage of convenience.
There’s definitely more to this than meets the eye.
Madam, you better open up to your own people. Don’t keep this under wraps.
Nne pls run.. No need to continue
ReplyDelete