Hmmmmmm....
TIRED AND CONFUSED
Good day Stella,
Good day Stella,
You are doing a great job. Please keep me anonymous.
I came from a family that has a wrong mindset about me because of my relationship with my Mom. I was never an intelligent child, graduated with a third class(my dear Mom in her wisdom beat and compare me with my brothers and sisters),recently found out am dyslexic.
I Am tired of proving myself to them, the only thing i'm good at was taking care of children and cleaning in my local church(10 years experience)that made my sister’s friend in Uk to employ me as her nanny.
The job was easy caring of the two boys(they loved me but their Mom hated me). I lived with the two boys(Age 7 and 9yrs)and their father(who was hardly home because as a Doctor, he is always on night shift) and his wife lives and worked as a Doctor in another town.No the husband never asked me out(he doesn’t care if I exist since it was his wife that employed me.
Five days in a month, their Mom visited,she emotionally abused me(she has a temper). She will insult me that I am lazy, that the house is dirty(her husband is silent)then she calls my family in Nigeria and they join her to tell me how disappointed they are of me (they wouldn’t hear my side of the story).
I did my best cleaning and cooking(the boys never called their Mom to complain about me). She said I was taking her boys from her and I tried to talk to her boys to be with their Mom each time she is around.
The virus made the situation worse because I had a BA return ticket but because of lockdown, I couldn’t call the police because I had no evidence and didn’t want to live in shelter.
I endured till the UK eased the lockdown then I started looking for a ticket back home, I got Ethiopian Airlines and came home to Nigeria.
Story of my life,I Am home, my family are remorseful because now they know that my Madam in the UK (sister’s friend)was lying(false accusations about me). I have forgiven them but it is hard to relate with them.
It is not the first time but my Uk experience will be the last.
But i'm scared of the new me because i am not married,Nigerians is all about family(Is it possible to cut your family completely off?
Please Stella how can I trust my family again.
Thanks 😘
You cannot stress yourself over trusting them again,they are the ones who have to work hard at trying to gain your trust again.....
So sorry about what you went through in the UK;you should have just gone to a shelter nau.
Anyway,you will be fine!
Old chronicle, she probably rephrased and sent twice.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your plight.
No. She left it in the comment section some weeks back.
DeletePoster i'm sorry about what you went through. May God give you a testimony that sounds like a lie.
Yeah I have read it before. It is well poster. Just keep positive, be prayerful, do your best with what you have and leave the rest to God.
DeleteExactly. I have read this before.
DeleteGraduate with a third class and you could write this well? And you say you are not academically sound?
DeleteThere is something you don't know about yourself cos the person I am reading is an intelligent woman.
Don't belittle your ability, fine-tune yourself
Poster take Stella's advice . You will be fine.
ReplyDeleteJust move on and find your stand again.
Sometimes in life, we have to forge ahead. But then not everyone has s thick skin. I can be made of lion hyde while you are made of goat hyde. Is it hyde or hide....?
ReplyDeleteGoogle later.
Hide oh bb..
DeleteMerci shant
DeleteNawa you no really well
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're fine and safely back home. Just forgive your family and move on with your life. The thing about forgiveness is if you don't forgive, it's like you're poisoning yourself hoping that someone else would get hurt. So freely forgive so you can move on.
ReplyDeleteGet a job or a business and start your own career. When possible, get your own place for your peace of mind.
Don't go jumping into relationship and marriage because of peer pressure and the desire to marry. Shine your eyes so you don't go from frying pan to fire because I've noticed that many ladies in miserable marriages were in a hurry to leave their less than ideal family.
I wish you the best.
Dear poster, i really feel your pain. For you to come back to this yekeyeke country, It means you really see gbegee there.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about all you went through, just get your acts together, sometimes, family ish ehn?Please try to be productive, busy and think less of them. You will be fine.Cheers
ReplyDeleteYou can start a small business or look for a way and go back.
ReplyDeleteIs it that a 3rd class person can't get a job? God will make a way.
If Stella could make it big, she can too.
DeleteIt's not easy getting a job with 3rd Class in Nigeria if you don't have connection.
DeleteRight from your childhood have a lot of hurt to heal from and I'm sorry about that. Now you're grown and I'll advice you to PUT YOURSELF FIRST.
ReplyDeleteIf being around family makes you feel bad, you need to leave and be where you're happier. Your mental health first!
If you have some money on you, you could start a business or get a job if you find one. Be where you're happy.
All empathy for you.
ReplyDeleteHope you learn from Melody's story on IHN today. Unforgiveness locks every door, including the one
you are expecting; marriage. Forgive them and watch them as they change to earn trust from you.
Just be yourself and live your life.
ReplyDeleteA person who refuses to forgive is like a lady holding her "enemy" to a pin fall. She achieves nothing, you achieve nothing too. 🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about all you went through poster. Try to be strong for the good Lord is with you.
ReplyDeleteStop thinking of past pains, focus on making something out of your life.
It is well with you, you should have stayed back and look for nanny job there.
ReplyDeletePoster put every nagative occurrence behind you and move on. Find a place in your heart to forgive them all, look for something doing no matter how little and continue building yourself. you will be fine as time goes on.
ReplyDeletePlease forgive all them. They were imposed on you by God for reasons best known to our creator. You guys will always be family regardless of your anger. If you are not comfortable living under the same roof with them, please go rent an apartment and look for a job or start a business. You can't really blame your mum for comparing you with your siblings, I guess she wanted the best for you.
ReplyDeleteIf you made friends over there, try and reach out to them,go back to UK and get another job it's not easy any where especially here. Most importantly forgive your family they'll always be part of you.
ReplyDeleteLife!
ReplyDeletePostser, like teejay said yesterday that family is just a title, please move far from them if they don't give you peace of mind,my own o
doesn't care if I exist and I also don face my front, start all over again,hope you're able to bring a little change to start something.
Do want makes you happy but forgive and put you first❤❤❤
ReplyDeleteDo want makes you happy but forgive and put you first❤❤❤
ReplyDeletePoster, I'm glad you have forgiven your family and your employer.
ReplyDeleteYou are SPECIAL. You are not handicapped because you are dyslexic and made a third class. You cannot be like your brothers and they cannot be like you because God made each person UNIQUE.
Some families hurt one another intentionally and unintentionally.
Please, fill your heart with love for yourself, them and immerse yourself in what you love doing, learn new skills and open your heart to a loving relationship.
Let God guide you in all this. 💞
Poster you can distance yourself from your family but do not cut them off completely.
ReplyDeleteGod will heal you.
Poster I hope you get to see this. You are actually very rich and wealthy but you don't know it. Why don't you start an online journal/blog/youtube series about your experiences with dyslexia for instance? How was yours diagnosed? You said you are good with caring for children and cleaning. Again, you can give lots of tips on childcare and cleaning. You can review cleaning products for instance. There is a lady called Mrs Hinch. She talks about cleaning hacks etc please go watch her videos. Please ignore your family. The pain of their betrayal will lessen with time but let them work hard for your trust. I wish you the very best.
ReplyDeleteI just cannot stand when ppl are at a certain level and believe that makes them better than others. If someone was taking care of my children safely and giving them love and support I would worship the ground that person walked on. If it was so easy what you were doing the parents would be able to do it with their jobs since they are so bright, but it ain't easy work. It's hard work to keep a home and take care of two young children. I only hope they at least paid you well, but from the sounds of it I doubt it.
ReplyDeleteYou have a calling to care for children. Why not get yourself certified in early childhood education. It is a field that need so many skilled people especially those who are able to work with children with special needs. If you are not passionate about it then don't do it, but if it is something that brings you joy I could see you being a success in that field.