STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
GHOSTED BY A LOVED ONE
Straight to my story. My boyfriend AND I have been doing great. We dont stay in same town. Early October he came to my base and everything was cool. Prior to that time, he knew I had issues with my parents and needed to rent a place. He promised to give me the money as well as money to set up a business because covid 19 had rendered me jobless.
Straight to my story. My boyfriend AND I have been doing great. We dont stay in same town. Early October he came to my base and everything was cool. Prior to that time, he knew I had issues with my parents and needed to rent a place. He promised to give me the money as well as money to set up a business because covid 19 had rendered me jobless.
In fact he made all suggestions.
When he left everything was cool for sometime only for me to tell him I was house hunting and sent him pics, he didn't respond. I felt he was busy and gave him some days, sent several messages.
When he left everything was cool for sometime only for me to tell him I was house hunting and sent him pics, he didn't respond. I felt he was busy and gave him some days, sent several messages.
He would be online, read my messages but not respond. After some weeks I told him I won't bother him anymore and I never asked him for anything. He made the suggestion. Am a very independent lady. I have never ever asked him for anything at all. He gives me when he wants to and I appreciate it.
It's more than a month now and still not a word from him. I know he is fine because he posts stuff on social media. I cant reach him through anyone because he doesn't keep friends. I have cried, sent several msgs, videos, voice notes, etc yet he would be online and not say a word. Some days back I sent "Hi, hope you're fine. I still miss u everyday, hopefully someday u would speak with me and make me understand why u did this". He read it, no reply.
I am so confused, what could be the issue? Why didn't he just block me? I need closure so I can move on. Been reading a lot online and some people said I should block him n cut all communications with him some said I should leave him and get a life and post stuff online so he sees it n knows i am over him.
Am planning on sending him a last msg that if by midnight Dec 31st he doesn't say anything, I would block him n cut him off from my life for good. Then I can find closure I think.
It's more than a month now and still not a word from him. I know he is fine because he posts stuff on social media. I cant reach him through anyone because he doesn't keep friends. I have cried, sent several msgs, videos, voice notes, etc yet he would be online and not say a word. Some days back I sent "Hi, hope you're fine. I still miss u everyday, hopefully someday u would speak with me and make me understand why u did this". He read it, no reply.
I am so confused, what could be the issue? Why didn't he just block me? I need closure so I can move on. Been reading a lot online and some people said I should block him n cut all communications with him some said I should leave him and get a life and post stuff online so he sees it n knows i am over him.
Am planning on sending him a last msg that if by midnight Dec 31st he doesn't say anything, I would block him n cut him off from my life for good. Then I can find closure I think.
Is this a good idea? Am hurting so bad. This is the first time am being ghosted. Pls anyone with similar experience should give me the best advise to go about it. Thanks in anticipation.
*Do not send him anymore messages please!!!!
it will hurt more than you ever thought but you need to cut him off,block him if you want,otherwise let him see photos and see that you have moved on from him.....When he sees you have moved on,he will come back begging...DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK OH..
I dont know if ghosted you cos of the monies he promised you or if the relationship was already over (in his mind) and he came to collect one last time...They always do that
Or maybe he thought about the stress with your parents and decided he didnt wanna be with you cos of that,so please review how you presented the case to him......
He doesn't keep friends or he doesn't want you to know his friends?
Whatever it is,please move on!!!
Forget the man. Don't message again cos he still won't reply.
ReplyDeleteHe ghosted you either because of the money or he got some revelations ,things dey happen oh... just move on and pray hard for this kinda luck not get to you again.
It is well with you poster
Simply block him and move the heck on...
DeleteBabe, I have been there, it was like magic when my friend of over 9 year's did it. It was painful cos it happened just like that and I was worried sick. Oga was very fine no issue. I cried the for 3 days and deleted his number. After like 2 weeks of no more calls and messages again, I was getting better and boom! He messaged me from the blues. What happened? Oga said "I just needed to clear my head" I knew at that point, I thought what we had was solid but, that weeks of absence cleared my doubt. He apologised but I was far gone. If you could survive weeks without me, then you don't need me. Our relationship never remained the same after that incident. Stop messaging or calling, delete his number, you will cry you will find the strength you need. E dey pain but stop giving him the opportunity of seeing you suffering, move on.
DeletePoint of correction: YOU ARE NOT AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN!!!
DeleteGo to your family and source capital to start your business and support yourself. Have some dignity , young lady. Keep your needs within the capacity of your family to help or go to a bank and get a loan!
So, he gives you stipends on his own from time to time and you have been collecting? On what grounds? You are from the generation that think it's normal for a boyfriend to be giving you hand outs; that is why he will ghost you and treat you as he likes and you are crestfallen. That is why you girls will never understand what to look out for in a courtship.
Come on dust your sorry ass up and be a woman! #boyfriendnotAtm.
Sapphire please be nice. There's nothing wrong with having a supportive boyfriend. Did you read where she said everything was his own suggestion? I'm independent doesn't mean I won't collect if my boyfriend gives me. Haba!
DeleteI just fell in love with this Saphire.
Delete#boyfriendnotAtm
#boyfriendnotAtm
#boyfriendnotAtm
#boyfriendnotAtm
#boyfriendnotAtm
Wahala, please end it now. Dec 31st is too far biko
DeleteMy dear, i have been ghosted too and it really hurts! He's a douchebag and a dirtbag...It's only a coward that can do this! Pls move on, believe me you will meet someone better! Don't contact him again, don't degrade yourself further. He will face his karma and find out that you even did him a favour dating her.. Improev your life and meet better people..Please stop waiting for him, be open to meet new better people
DeletePlease free him, even though the pisces in me will not follow that advice but free him.
DeleteThose kind of people are emotion drainers,they enjoy when you keep pestering. Once you move on, they will look for your face.
Please even if he comes back keep moving on, even if he got an information why not discuss it? Why put you through this, that's the height of wickedness...did you kill anyone?
Just move on.
Try settle with your family. Humble yourself, you will get a job and please don't accept him back. MOVE ON
DeleteLadies of this age have soo messed up dating/relationship with their DEPENDANCY/ ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY.
DeleteImagine the poster saying she's very "independent", whereas she's very much like the others. You had an issue and your bf gave you suggestions that will help you, you have tagged him to Finance it. Why won't he ghost you? The young man doesn't like unnecessary pressures nor baggage. Sort yourself or your family should sort you. Don't come & kill another woman's son with your liabilities. He has his own. #boyfriendnotAtm
Been there. Sis just move on. Like Stella said he only came to collect one last time. Na their way. I'm sorry. I know exactly how you feel. Just move on. Please
ReplyDeleteYou are still waiting for Dec 31st to block his ass. Do that right away jare. He's just not man enough and not worth your love.
DeleteBlock block Blocked
ReplyDeleteSorry dear, sometimes, liver go just fail u n u take d cowardly way out. But ghosters do come back with one lame excuse...cos I know he will. There is a woman at his base so he's tryna play safe plus maybe he couldn't meet up with his promises again. Forget that closure talk, u Kent get it, you will only hurt me. The best thing is, delete all convo, number pics n block him off. You will hurt but you'd definitely get better unless u ate his placenta.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe he saw some incriminating messages from her sugar daddy on her phone and he's hurt.
DeletePoster, check yourself, are your ways straight? Have you ever cheated on him? Have you ever flirted with another guy during your relationship with him ?
If your answer is yes, maybe you got caught ....that's why he ghosted you. He may be hurting too ��
Poster please do not listen to anon 15:45. Some people love to ghost their friends/lovers because it makes them feel good and powerful. They enjoy the tears and constant pleas from you. They are small minded people.
Delete👌
DeleteI'm with Stella on this. Move on already and my tiny advice for you is closure is overrated.
ReplyDeletePass offering basket my person! Closure is definitely over rated! Move on with life poster, life no balance!
DeleteDon't call or contact him anymore. Block if necessary and make new friends.cheers
ReplyDeleteMaami, even if you send him that last message he won't still reply. That's how ghosters do
ReplyDeleteMove on and be free for life!!!
Never make the mistake of telling your boyfriend issues you're having with your family even if it's glaring they wronged,it sends a wrong signal to some people expect you've seen how matured they've handled some things,you can even paint it as something that happened to a friend or you saw it online.
ReplyDeleteYou see those that don't have just a single friend,fear them! They'll make you die in silence.
Don't call him again,it's quite hard to be strong in situation like this,but you just have to
Forget him, block him, cry very well, enter bathroom, shower very wel, dress up and move on.
ReplyDeleteMove on dear because he has move on for good🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶
ReplyDeleteI can bet you he keeps friends, but he didn't want you to meet them. You are not as important to him, as he was to you. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT send him any message. Love yourself enough to stop embarrassing yourself. I mean, you send him messages, he reads and does not respond. What more do you want now? Haba. Or do you want him to send you a stinker before it's obvious he has left you? My dear, you are valuable, do not allow anyone treat you like trash o. Delete his contact, and every form of communicating with him. LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH.
ReplyDeleteI tire. Dude has been ignoring her but she's still applying pressure,I don't know what she's looking for
DeleteMy dear I don't get it o. Self love is important o.
DeleteDon't send him any message again. Let him be, if I were you eh, I will just delete his number and everything that will remind me of him.
ReplyDeleteHe's a coward.you are giving him too much attention that is why he's feeling fly,dump his slim ass.There are many fishes in the ocean cool down and choose and you LL be happy he left for your potential partner ❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteBcw@15:22, indeed there are many fishes in the ocean" with this kind of mindsets you girls have, you'll keep going round in circles with so much hurt & uncertainties in a r/ship. What stops you from building yourself & be independent. You think your partner doesn't have his own challenges? Why become a liability? Dating isn't empowerment. Always looking out for guys money, are you handicapped? Men respects women who come to the table with something NOT a liability.
DeleteMy dear,it hurts so bad cos you were obviously in love with him. Stop the messages please,engage in things that will add value to your life by making money genuine way o. May God come through for you and gives you the man that deserves this love.
ReplyDeletePoster join the moving train and face front. Maybe there is no money to give you. All he did was to save face by promising heaven and earth then ran away. You can block and delete his contacts. Don't bother stalking him,you'll only cause more pain to yourself.
ReplyDeleteLovelace
Why do you still wants to humiliate yourself again.
ReplyDeleteGHOST him too.
He is hit and run. If he cannot fulfill his promise, he would have told you so.
May God Almighty come through for you. Stop crying for one useless boy
Dearie,please move on.This is how the emotional abuse start.
ReplyDeleteI had an ex who was this way,he will suddenly stop talking or responding to me only to resurface after 2weeks or so to say what I did that he didn't like.
I had to quit for my sanity.
If you are as emotional as I am,then trust me you don't need him.Don't send any more messages.Don't give any ultimatum.If you have to,then please delete his number.Don't accept him if he comes back,it will only get worse.
Communication is key.Whatever his reasons are,it is malicious of him to ignore you this way. For him to post on SM means he is very ok but chose to act this way.
Except just like Stella said,he is done with the relationship;either ways,you should let him go too.
You will be fine love.
I hate people like him...
ReplyDeleteHe would have told you he doesn't have money to support you rather than keeping quiet and ignoring you..
Poster,free the guy abeg..
Some stupid guys normally ghost their girlfriends during ember months so they wouldn't do Christmas for her..
Stop sending him messages begging or crying!...
Imagine! You even cried maka nwoke..
Tufia!!..
Move on biko,he will surely come back when he think you dont need his assistance again...
I know his type...
Na that time you go show him pepper!...
I hate them more, one even came back to apologise after how many years.
DeleteNow I will just keep it moving,
Dear poster, do not give anyone the right to make you feel you bruise easily, or it's your fault
They actually do feed off your emotions, it gives them a high, free him this moment
Delete his number if you have to.
Eiyaaaaa!almost sounding like my story.Dear poster,grow a heart if you don't have one,blank him n enjoy yourself,God always sorts out our messes,ignore or delete him n stop begging for answers.Oga doesn't value you,you're a liability n he's not comfortable involving himself again with your budern.In my own case i was a constant mumu,I will move on, once guy man sees I'm happy,he'll appear in my life i was so weak hearted until i borrowd myself common sense,even prayed about it n blocked him out of my life.Move on please,n if he comes back begging, forgive him but never take him back.If you marry that one,any small home issue he will vanish and malice you..I'm a firm believer that communication is the most vital form of commitment.if a man can't have a talk with you when the goin gets bad,He's obviously not worth your peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteHe didn’t block you because he wants to leave space to be able to come back. He will come back with a lame excuse but I wouldn’t advice you to take him back
ReplyDeleteIt is painful but make sure you take in every iota of this pain. Don’t try to run from it because if you run from it, you will make stupid decisions and still meet this same pain in front.
I’m sorry. You’ll feel better with time, I promise.
Move on and stop making yourself an object of ridicule. Guess he made the promise for the house rent and stuff so you'd be on your best behavior when he visited so he can slam nonsense outta tha'pussy without you holding back or feeling used.. na format, and I guess you also fell for it. When we come here talking about how you guys shouldn't expect stuff from men you'll be cursing us.. Okay now.. keep texting and calling him..
ReplyDeleteAs far as he's concern, you want to us him as maga, that was why you were telling him the issue you had with your parents and why you have to move out to a place of your own (tho you didn't include this part), so he decided to play a fast one on you, promising you what not..
Move on
Hahahhaahhahaha werey dante
DeleteDante me and you have gbas gbos here before but today you made me laugh out loud in public 😂😂 WTF!
DeleteBut he is actually telling the truth. Especially with married men, they will tell you how stupid and terrible the wife at home is so them single ladies will open their legs very wide without any barriers in their minds. Men, fear them.
DeleteYou even tried to msg him. Me, I just move on and don't care if he's dead or alive. Block him everywhere and forget about him for your own sanity
ReplyDeleteIlu le oooo,kosowo lode.
ReplyDeletePerhaps that "one last time thing" is the issue here. whenever a lady gives a man sex in a relationship, the relationship becomes sex-focused.
ReplyDeleteThe issue of understanding each other's characters and bearing with each other suffers.
Another side to it is the "pictures of the house-hunting you sent." Did you "raise the bar," seeing that "the suya wasn't coming from your own body?"
And he probably thought about being with someone "greedy?" Just a suggestion to help you in future.
I will suggest that you keep things open, i.e. communication. But behave like he is a foregone/lost one and move on. And be sure you are moving on to Jesus
as your next relationship. You can for sure depend on his direction.
How old are you? Why wait till 31st of December?????
ReplyDeleteWhy not be matured about ending a relationship than ghosting the person,that shit can be so annoying
ReplyDeleteSorry dear. You are dating yourself.
ReplyDeleteNever send any massage again to him. He has moved on. Why cry over spill milk. Not blocking you means he is enjoying your tears, plead massages and voice notes. Life happens. Put him in your past. Don't block him. Allow him see your happy posts and wonder how you survived without him.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what happened between me and my ex after 2 years he resurfaced and my wedding had been fixed by then,this is my 6th year in hubby's house and he's still not married.
ReplyDeleteThe earlier you open your eyes is better, remember December is around the corner, so he has closed your chapter.
ReplyDeleteSo you should close the dictionary of him in your medulla oblongata and move on.
Your own man is coming.
👍 True talk
DeleteSometimes u don’t need closure for anything,pls move on and forget about the relationship,not everytime closure,sometimes closure pulls u back to what u were running away from and blocks ur sense of reasoning
ReplyDeleteThis happened to me too about three years ago...this guy ghosted me for weeks and it feels like I was the one pushing for the relationship. I came across a picture of him and his girlfriend who he lied to me was his ex. I didn't even bother to confirm from him,i just deleted his numbers and everything that could remind me of him. Guess what? He called after a month and started "shalayeing" I insulted the living day out of him and warned him never to call me again. Thank God there was no sex between us so that made it easy. I hate rubbish.
ReplyDeletePoster, WHERE DID YOU MEET THAT MAN WITHOUT GOOD CHARACTER AND HOME-TRAINING??? 😲😲😲
ReplyDeleteWhat do you need closure for when you should have slammed the door of your heart SHUT! 🤦♀️
Ghosting was the worst kinda breakup for me. Dear poster if you can be able to get over this you'll be so strong nothing can get you this down again. Forget about the closure you are seeking from him you yourself is the only closure you need. Pls totally block him, stop messaging him, remove things that trigger his memory around you and move on. I bet you he will surely come back with lame excuses my ex came back from ghosting me after 6months by then I was already planning my wedding. Don't let this bring you down pls move on love is one necessary risk we all take in life, we keep risking it till we get it right. Give other people around you the chance it will help you heal faster and move on.
ReplyDeleteWhy do u keep hanging on to a man who has refused to write or call u? Stop dragging it further and move on. The earlier the better.
ReplyDeleteThe guy na tautao Yahoo ooo.....
ReplyDeleteWhy do you want to carry on this nonsense to the eve of a new year? After all we have seen with covid 19? Please cancel him now, mourn for two weeks, recall that you ha e a new year loaded with opportunity and start planning for it.
ReplyDeleteIn future, have sex only because you want to have sex. Don't let anyone pressure you into submitting your body, whether or not anyone traveled to see you. It is why the Englishman invented the words welcome and tha k you. Of what value is closure from an unserious fellow? Thank God he is no longer in your life- imagine marriage with such a guy where you can't even get him to talk. Let him age someone else with malice.
He doesn't like you and doesn't respect you. Let me point out the signs you missed.
ReplyDelete1. A man who cares for your well being will not suggest you leave your family when they're issues unless your physical safety is at risk. A good man will encourage you to reconcile with your family.
2. If your physical safety is at risk, not only will he encourage you to leave, he will do what he can to get you into a safer space
3. A good man only needs to be reminded once, if at all, to fulfill his promises to you
4. A good man will never cut off communication and leave you wondering what you did, he will tell you
Sisi, wake up and block the idiot and stop being a fool yourself. You don't need closure, you want him to come back and apologize and say something useless and untrue like "stress" so you can take him back.
He does not want you, does not like you and does not care about you.
Hate to be so harsh, but you need to move on
Everything about you screams me me me me. All about you. Sometimes do you realise that your boyfriend is a human being with family issues.
ReplyDeleteMaybe everytime everytime you chatted him up, you mentioned money subtly or otherwise. That man has feelings too, he needs love. That it was his suggestion does not mean he can't change his mind. Maybe he doesn't have the money yet.
Even ATM dispensers needs care too.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
If he can change his mind
DeleteHe can communicate it
Acting deaf and dumb is cowardly and wicked
Sometimes u don’t need closure for anything,pls move on and forget about the relationship,not everytime closure,sometimes closure pulls u back to what u were running away from and blocks ur sense of reasoning
ReplyDeleteInitially I thought his phone might have been stolen. What he is doing is very cruel, please desist from texting him, you are giving him a lot of power. Cut off contact completely and move on.
ReplyDelete