CHEATING HUBBY CAUGHT RED HANDED
Dear Stella,
I read Chronicles on your blog but I never believed it will be my turn so soon. It's a long read, ma. I wish I can call you? This is my 7th year in marriage with 3kids and I could vouch for my husband that he can never cheat until I started hearing side talks about him and his friends.
I know his friends are womanizers, me and hubby talks about them sometimes and he would mention how he has been advising them to change and respect their wives. I never knew I'm the mumu. Birds of a feather, flocks together. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
I know his phone password and he leaves it with the kids to play with most times when he's home on weekends (he works in another state and comes on weekends) so I never suspected a thing. I overheard side gist about him and his clique and it wasn't pleasant. I was restless, I confronted him, he denied of course and even question my loyalty, emphasizing on how transparent he has been. I apologized but I couldn't move on.
I downloaded cheat WhatsApp to snoop on him, wetin my eyes see eh? Different girls, even some from his sister. Including a contract staff he's supervising. I munched all the chats.(oga deletes his messages before he gets home and leave empty phone to form responsible). I cried so hard within the 3 months I was reading his messages, finally I confronted him 3 weeks ago. He denied until I showed him the chats. He was shocked and speechless. I cried, he cried. He said he has changed, he has even repented according to him two weeks before I confronted him.
I asked why he did it? Where I failed, so I could do better. He said it's not on me, that it's a mistake, it's devil, it's stupidity, it's loneliness. He begged and begged. Then I told him we will go for check up, he should pray I don't have any STI and that he must sack the one working under him.(If I'm going to forgive, I won't be comfortable knowing he's still working with someone he had affair with)
He gave excuses, later he said he will try his best but it won't be easy. I yelled "she's just a contract staff, you don't need protocols to remove her, or I will leave. You have 2weeks"
Stella, over the weeks I have cried, prayed, pondered where I failed, what I could have done better, packed and unpacked, and I decided to forgive (very difficult) give him another chance instead of running at the first sight of adversity.
But what I saw some days back, I died again. I have been crying since. Infact, I just finished packing my bag. Tomorrow I'm packing my kid's bag. I'm leaving with them to my parents house. I need to clear my head.
He was to rank his team performance and work attitude and send to his boss, cos they are trying to downsize the contract staff, and out of the 10 people under him, he ranked the girl he promised to sack 2nd best. How did I know? He blind copied his personal email while sending the mail to his boss and the Google mail is registered on my phone so I saw the mail notification. It's like he realized I'm linked to the mail, so he deleted it,and emptied his trash. But the mail notification has gone to me, unknown to him.
I have never felt so stupid and worthless in my life
.
He took advantage of my soft and kind heart. Why are most men so evil and cruel? 7years of my all, he couldn't respect me, our Union, the kids. I have been a fool, he Don see me finish.
I needed to talk to someone, unfortunately I don't have close friends and I can't let family in on this yet.
I'm tired and mad......
Dear Stella,
I read Chronicles on your blog but I never believed it will be my turn so soon. It's a long read, ma. I wish I can call you? This is my 7th year in marriage with 3kids and I could vouch for my husband that he can never cheat until I started hearing side talks about him and his friends.
I know his friends are womanizers, me and hubby talks about them sometimes and he would mention how he has been advising them to change and respect their wives. I never knew I'm the mumu. Birds of a feather, flocks together. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
I know his phone password and he leaves it with the kids to play with most times when he's home on weekends (he works in another state and comes on weekends) so I never suspected a thing. I overheard side gist about him and his clique and it wasn't pleasant. I was restless, I confronted him, he denied of course and even question my loyalty, emphasizing on how transparent he has been. I apologized but I couldn't move on.
I downloaded cheat WhatsApp to snoop on him, wetin my eyes see eh? Different girls, even some from his sister. Including a contract staff he's supervising. I munched all the chats.(oga deletes his messages before he gets home and leave empty phone to form responsible). I cried so hard within the 3 months I was reading his messages, finally I confronted him 3 weeks ago. He denied until I showed him the chats. He was shocked and speechless. I cried, he cried. He said he has changed, he has even repented according to him two weeks before I confronted him.
I asked why he did it? Where I failed, so I could do better. He said it's not on me, that it's a mistake, it's devil, it's stupidity, it's loneliness. He begged and begged. Then I told him we will go for check up, he should pray I don't have any STI and that he must sack the one working under him.(If I'm going to forgive, I won't be comfortable knowing he's still working with someone he had affair with)
He gave excuses, later he said he will try his best but it won't be easy. I yelled "she's just a contract staff, you don't need protocols to remove her, or I will leave. You have 2weeks"
Stella, over the weeks I have cried, prayed, pondered where I failed, what I could have done better, packed and unpacked, and I decided to forgive (very difficult) give him another chance instead of running at the first sight of adversity.
But what I saw some days back, I died again. I have been crying since. Infact, I just finished packing my bag. Tomorrow I'm packing my kid's bag. I'm leaving with them to my parents house. I need to clear my head.
He was to rank his team performance and work attitude and send to his boss, cos they are trying to downsize the contract staff, and out of the 10 people under him, he ranked the girl he promised to sack 2nd best. How did I know? He blind copied his personal email while sending the mail to his boss and the Google mail is registered on my phone so I saw the mail notification. It's like he realized I'm linked to the mail, so he deleted it,and emptied his trash. But the mail notification has gone to me, unknown to him.
I have never felt so stupid and worthless in my life
He took advantage of my soft and kind heart. Why are most men so evil and cruel? 7years of my all, he couldn't respect me, our Union, the kids. I have been a fool, he Don see me finish.
I needed to talk to someone, unfortunately I don't have close friends and I can't let family in on this yet.
I'm tired and mad......
***Hmmmm I guess living alone in another state was a big temptation for him....Yes,its OK o take a break to your parents place if you will be welcome there so that you can clear your head and make some decisions...
It looks like your man is the type that cannot hold himself...trust me if its not the one at the office,it will be someone else..
My dear,you need to look for a way to cut him off from his friends...And why are you not even in the state he works?
I hope you will get good advice and people will not be more concerned about what you downloaded to snoop on his phone...
1.Confront him again
ReplyDelete2. Take it to God in prayer. Daily declare positive words over your marriage.
3. Don't leave your home.
4. Move to his base.
Poster, i agree with 15.08. Move to his base for starters and keep busy.
DeleteNow about the girl in his office, unless your husband owns the company, he can't just easily sack someone especially if the person is known to be a performer. Whatever transpired between she and your husband might even be her leverage to claim victimisation because of course she has prof. The country is hard and that girl will do everything to hold on to that job. That girl is not your sole problem. You have to find a way to get through to your husband. I won't blame you for snooping. Snooping helps you handle things b4 it gets out of hand or b4 you are taken unawares.
Prayers help. Prayer for yourself and your marriage. It's worth it.
Madam poster sorry oooo. It is very painful. Nothing you do or are triggers a cheat. You could be finer than miss world, cook better than chef Ramsey, gbensh better than a porn star but he will still cheat on you. He can only change if he wants to, which is very hard, though he may tell you otherwise. Only God can change him. Most of them that criticise their friends are worse than said friends. So go clear your head and decide what you will do going forward. If you can live with him being a cheat and turn a blind eye while praying, or not. Wish you well and pls give us feedback.
DeleteOk I saw it *Cheat WhatsApp *😂😂😂😂
DeleteI stopped reading halfway and left to download Cheat WhatsApp
DeleteBrb
Kikikikikiki some beevees ehnnn............
DeleteAs long as the contract staff remains under him, they will most likely keep sleeping together. He should prove his loyalty to you by letting her go. Any lady who can sleep with her boss and in addition, a married man is a WHORE WHO DESERVES NO PITY.
DeleteBaby girl calm down
DeleteHaven't you heard the term "men will shame you"
You were too trusting, I am not blaming you but no one deserves that level of trust.
Please use condoms from today, save all you can if you can't manage you bounce.
I have always chosen happiness over anything so my hubby knows there's no one this is irreplaceable.
Don't make him feel like your all.
Focus on you baby, just try.
I would divorce him if I were you. My emotional, mental and psychological wellbeing is very important. Why move to your parents place though? They could easily convince you to forgive him. If you can, rent a place to stay.
DeleteI am just reading all the comments and seeing a lot people without a firm grip on reality. Especially Fabulous Onyx that says she would divorce him. You will divorce Taya. Not saying it is right to cheat, I can almost say I can relate with the pain you feel knowing he cheated, but it's life. It's like saying you would never have a bad day, it's just let me, men will cheat! It's a sub consious wiring, why do you think the ones that don't are so rare, and are usually secretly involved in some sinister vice tyat
Delete.... continued....that is usually worse than cheating. since this platform enablesIenables straight talk and anonymity, I will be critically honest. I for example, has a very hot wife by any standard...tall well shaped, beautiful face , brownish/cat like eyes,perfect dentition very glowing well toned skin, 9 out of 10times we step out always getting compliments and complimentary card slipping from both male and female alike. She can cook for Africa, lovely bubbly and alive personality, very smart easily forgiving, though extremely emotional.... Lest I forget she is great I bed. The reason I listed all those attributes is not to praise her, but to let you know that after all said and done, I still stray every once in a while. It's not that I don't love her, I love her to bits, and I am still very mentally, emotionally and physically attracted to her after over 4years. All the ladies I cheat with are beautiful, but not nearly as beautiful as my wife.
DeleteYou are asking why?? Me sef I no know. It's a follow come instinct to hunt, to conquer. Trust me when I say the best of them cheat, and don't feel man enough or feel like something is missing when they can't hunt or are in a handicapped situation as regards this. Trust me when I say the best of them cheat. And it doesn't mean they don't love this women.
My wife knows my take on this topic, discussed it early when we dated, says she would rather not find out. Of course she doesn't know I stray, cuz I go through great lengths to keep it from her. Like always telling whomever I set my eyes on that I am married, so it's a totally their choice to get into a thing with me. 97% of men cheat and that's a fact, with that kind of statistic the odds don't support a contrary argument. The only prayer is that you don't meet an irresponsible man, that is excessive and disrespectful about it..Another thing I forgot to mention, is that I prefere women that are in relationships with a guy that is far away, they are a lot more discreet. My point here is that women cheat too, that's a topic for another day.
Stop snooping, cuz you will find something, guaranteed
You snoop come snoop gbege!
ReplyDeleteHowever, not a new thing cos ALL MEN CHEAT!!!
You all that have refused to believe can continue arguing with your keypads and ancestors.
"ALL WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTE"
DeleteAre you happy now with the generalisation?
Simply because you married an ungodly adulterer you decide to lump all men under the same umbrella to make feel good?
Simply because you married a man who do not value his creator and doesn't value you because as a woman you are not enough for him means I and every other man must be like him? I have never insulted any woman on this blog but the more I visit the blog the more I see how low-self esteemed some of you are and you aren't all that special to feel sorry for when treated the way you deserve by the kind of men you meet.
Poster good men exists sorry you married the wrong one.
All men cheat is a statement used by women to absolve themselves of blame and put it only on men.
Deleteall these men are not fucking men.
They are fucking women like you. It takes two to tango. Both men and women cheat and one doesn't cheat more than the other.
Abi is it not this same blog thay many women encourage other women taking money from their side guys and sugar daddy in exchange for sex?
Not true. Not all men cheat, even on this blog we've good male Bvs. Abi I lie? 😉😁
Delete16:06 Yes oo we even have virgins wet carry Bible for head.
DeleteBabyrella, I am so sorry. I guess you have been meeting bad men. Not all men cheat. At least I know myself. I have been married for eight years and I have never cheated on my wife.
DeleteNah. Not all men cheat. Asides religious men, there are men who aren't just wired to be randy just as you have women who are wire to be polyandous by nature. In fact, I believe there is just an exact equation of monogamous men as their are polyandous women.
DeleteBabyrella is actually married.
DeleteBro Bayo. I wish had access to your mind to see the kind unspeakable stuff going on there. Even (in the circle you roll in , in case you are not a loner) have a romp or 2 every now and , and I am betting that you don't have money yet. Babyrella must be living a very peaceful and calm life. Realistic people usually are.
DeleteHave you gone for that STI test?
ReplyDeleteThis one is not changing. Some STIs are incurable.
You see those ones that will be trash talking their friends and making themselves look like saints? Fear them. They are doing same.
Madam, this is so painful, I know. Do not take any major decisions now that you are angry until you clear your head like you said. Marriage involves work and sacrifice. "It is not good for man to be alone..." When a man does not know Jesus as Lord and does not have the fear or God or he has bad friends, he won't be able to say no to temptations. The sacrifice here would be to leave whatever you are doing in another state and be with him where he resides. But where to start now is to forgive him, irrespective of whether you will stay in the marriage or not.
ReplyDeleteFasting and praying and reading God's word can help you in this time of grief.
Fear of God, what of those tongue-talking Pastors that cheat? What would you call that?'Moment of weakness' .....mmmh,You sure live in a perfect world.
DeleteThis is the problem with some of you women. When we say God-fearing the next thing you say is a pastor. So because someone stands at the pulpit means he fears God more than those who don't? I just can't with some women at times. The way some if you reason. So a pastor is the benchmark for godliness? No wonder most sheeples get fooled daily.
Delete@16:31
DeleteMatthew 7: 21“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?’ 23Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!’
@Anon 17:01, based on your reply then, only 5% of the so called Pastors are indeed God-fearing and again I repeat you guys live in a perfect world!
Delete18:05 Yes Nah since according to you, 95℅ of the pastors in the world are cheating based on your statistics of the 5℅ of pastors you excluded. So some tongue-talking pastors somewhere who you have no idea about his calling is cheating then all the pastors in the world are cheating in your book. Since being a tongue-speaking pastor means being God-fearing in your book.
DeleteAll I am saying is, stop giving credence to pastors over regular folks since being a pastor is your own criteria for having the fear of God and not someone who actually has the fear of God without needing to be a pastor.
Let not all men cheat geng advice you. In my dictionary, 99 9% cheat.
ReplyDeleteThere is always room for temptation when it comes to a man. They are not saints. If he hasn't cheated, it means u haven't caught him or he hasn't done it YET. Shebi u had his passwords n he leaves his phone around, yet has been cheating all these while?
*sips champagne*
Blackberry you are a hypocrite. I was reading old post recently and i saw how you were insulting woman some years back who told you all men cheat. You said they do not have self worth. So what suddenly changed your mentality. Why are tou now soeaking from the both side mouth?.. Nne??
DeleteLol. BUSTED!!!
DeleteMe I can’t stress myself advising your when you have seen it all for yourself. Why u are shielding this from your family I don’t know. Why you have not reported him to his family and left since I don’t know again. If you like pack and unpack some more, he will not leave those babes giving him pleasure in the other state if he doesn’t get shaken up. So far, he feels he has done nothing wrong just wants to sharpen his hiding skills. Let him not bring diseases to you and allow you raise your kids Na my own. I know you won’t go anywhere. Good luck madam!
ReplyDeleteGet shaken off? You are not advising her to find a way to be close to her husband.
DeleteA guy works as a manager. He is a leader. Has female admirers and his wife stays in another state or town and you don't expect him to satisfy the desires of his flesh Abi?
Abi you women don't enjoy attention from other men that you are not dating?
The pleasure that women get from attention they get from men even when you are not having sex with them is equivalent to the pleasure that men get from having sex with other women.
Women likes attention and commitment. Men don't care about these. They like sex.
Until you women understands this....you will continue to thin gullible.
Women having attention and not having sex from men are different from men having attention and sex from women. What kind of thinking and logic is this? It definitely stinks. Whatever is good for the goose is also good for the gander. How would you feel if after being a faithful husband your wife in a different state sleeps with different men? Mtchew. Double standards as usual.
DeleteThink whatever you want. Men crave sex. Women crave attention. Love it or hate it, its the truth irrespective of what you think is double standards.
DeleteIs it not this same blog where you women encourage other women sleeping with married men? And you are screaming double standards?
And yes, women getting attention from other men (without sex) is emotional cheating and disloyalty to men. And it is equivalent to when men get sex from other women.
Deal with it!
Ehn poster maybe the girl is good with her job (no pun intended) but not withstanding, you did nothing wrong. Your husband just felt sad he got caught red handed. He didn't change and he never intended to change.
ReplyDeleteHis next step will be to blame you for his cheating escapades because you don't stay in the same state as him and as such he gets lonely and bored sometimes.
Your husband is a dog. He's probably one of those who believes cheating is only when you're caught otherwise it's all fun and games. Provided he comes home to you and provides for you and your family as well as satisfies your needs, he's a good man, a good husband and a great father.
Your kids deserve better role models than him. Believe me, they've seen certain things on his phone while playing games on it but their innocent brains can't comprehend it.
Stop crying, it's not your fault. Many women are experiencing what you are but are under the philosophy of "see no evil, hear no evil" and/or 'body dey for cloth dey manage'
You just summarized it Troy.
DeleteThank you. This husband has no plan to change anytime soon.
DeleteMake your decision and be at peace with it.
So he should rank her low even if she performed well??
ReplyDeleteDon't blame madam she is hurt. You can't expect her to be very rational at this time. Madam if you can, go somewhere peaceful to clear your head especially if you are feeling very angry. Make you no go take pestle nack oga head by mistake. You need to calm down first.
DeleteWhat ever u chose to do,don't let that man see you sad or see your tears woman.u see that mail he sent send it back to him,don't add or say a word,he will be confuse how u found out and other things you know about u ain't asking him .watch him confess and beg for forgiveness again...if u still insist on keeping the home,go stay with your man if not move on!
ReplyDelete😲😲😲 This is seriously serious and his clique of friends ain't even helping matters at all.It be nice you take some rest from the marriage for now like you have rightly said
ReplyDeleteAll the feminist and husband bashers will gather in here and start bashing all men...lol.
ReplyDeleteThis is their opium and it's been served on a table for them to sniff and get high on.
Madam....how are you thinking sef?
Do you expect your husband to let the sex he is having with his contract staff to becloud his judgement of her performance at work?
What on earth were you expecting? For him to give her a negative performance review? Based on the fact that you caught him?
My point is....you are being emotional rightfully so.but then expecting him to judge the lady harshly on her work performance as a way of showing you his loyalty to you is stupidity.
Your husband may actually be a good man and may be influenced by his friends as most women see men who are good at satisfying ladies as leaders of the pack. And he wants to show he is a leader.
Ṣeé Ehn. If you like.. Pack your bag. Go to your parent. It won't solve this problem.
Sir your husband down. Find out why he is doing this. Then both work on your relationship.
And no...he didn't take advantage of your soft side.
He took advantage of the fact that you are not living together and sleeping in the same Ed every night to satisfy his sexual pleasure to get that sex outside.
Work your marriage with your hubby and stop coming on this blog to form association of hard wives who want to dominate their husbands.
But exgpecting him to sack a staff to show loyalty to you is stupidity of the highest order!
Bitter truth,I'm honestly against snooping cos i don't forgive easily. Nawa
DeleteMaybe "husband bashers", feminists don't have time for rubbish.
DeleteCalm down! Your catnip will soon be posted so you can bash women as much you want.
DeleteKiks oooo😂😂😂
DeleteNawa ooo. This will probably be a man. What if just what if the lady is not doing well work wise and he is just putting her as 2nd because of the freebie he is getting? That is also possible right? Did you look at that angle? 🤔
DeleteBecause there are no men who come home and sleep with their wives and still cheat? You yourself are showing your bias against women. Abi are you a cheat yourself? I've been reading your comments all over this post.
DeleteAbeg abeg!!! The woman has been sleeping alone in her bed sex starved too and hasn't cheated on her husband, you justifies of iniquity!! These are the same randy idiots that will rush into another woman's vagina when their wives are pregnant or nursing after delivery, what a foolish excuse.
DeleteLike we don't have men who sleep on the same bed with their wives daily still cheating, nonsense and buhari.
Hmmm madam this your story really touched me, chai it's well, I don't even know how to advise you, but honestly your husband is just at the phase of enjoyment, he knows he has everything, family good life now he wants a touch of side hens, till he is satisfied he will not stop or change, u love him so much, I can smell that, if you know u are not fed up, pls stay put if not with the way u are in love with him, u might forgive him and move back into his life, and trust me, if u ever make that mistake, he will get to the stage where he will run it on you. U sound like a very fragile soul, pls I beg u, take care of your heart u deserve better.
ReplyDeletePoster start learning how to take very good care of yourself and children now and prepare for the future unknown. Because men who cheat are susceptible to many things from strange women. They spend, time, resources, energy etc on side chicks and hens and collect diseases, curses, spells etc. Learn to safeguard yourself now because anything can happen and you have kids to protect. A word is enough.... Hope you are not solely dependent on him, if you are start helping yourself ooo.
DeleteAnon 17.24 you gave her the best advice. After crying, it’s time to wake up!
DeletePoster what's the name of the app you downloaded?i want to check something 🙄 Snooping is not for the faint hearted,i don't even know what to say.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteA lot of people will so download that app eh.
Me too i need the name of that app.
DeleteSnooping is not for the faint hearted but living your truth demands bravery.
DeleteCheat WhatsApp 😜😜😜😜
Delete"Stella, over the weeks I have cried, prayed, pondered where I failed, what I could have done better, packed and unpacked, and I decided to forgive (very difficult) give him another chance instead of running at the first sight of adversity But what I saw some days back, I died again. I have been crying since. Infact, I just finished packing my bag. Tomorrow I'm packing my kid's bag. I'm leaving with them to my parents house. I need to clear my head".
ReplyDeleteI say it all the time men who cheat do not change but only cover their tracks well. The ball is in your court. Can you cope with a cheat? The sad thing here is your husband is even worse than his friends who cheats to think he even insults them. Very bad man. He is not a child so please don't ever blame his friend for his cheating ways. This is the problem with some women they blame everyone except the culprit which is the man himself.
Let me look for that advice i gave one woman recently. I am too lazy to type today before someone tell me my own is too much.
I am going to be realistic here.
ReplyDeleteDo you know taking a break and all that sorts won't change his philandering ways? It will only make him cover his tracks better and despite that he will still slip up once in a while and you will notice and become sad except you overlook knowing fully well you are not safe with him, healthwise and all.
Taking a break is for your own mental health, because you get to separate yourself from that emotionally draining situation but 'for a while' till you go to him again and the cycle continues.
The thing with women married to cheats is they need to pick between three options.
1)Stay with a cheat and be miserable all your life and face your children. Forgetting you are not married to your children but your husband.
2)cheat right back and be happy. This is what most married women who happily stay with cheats do.
Women who are not in the second category are always in the first category. They are the ones who complain. But this number do not complain at all because they are also in the game.
3)be single and be happy being single, because you know, you are more than enough can do right by yourself. This category is what some women are warming up to recently. It takes having a huge self-esteem to reach this level. This group knows they deserve all the happiness in the world and if being single is the way to go. They boldly embrace it. Sadly not everyone can stay alone or single for long. The price to pay most times for being in a relationship nowadays is by being miserable, unhappy, looking old haggard and worn out except you come across a good man who values you and knows the meaning of marriage. Emotional abuse is worse than physical and i hope people realize that truth. I don't know why people minimize it. Your Mental state is a total wreck. At least people see the scars when it is physical and you have prove but the other one can lead to many health issues too. You can have hypertension, migraine, sleepless night, loss of appetite, weight loss, lack of concentration, anger, Low-self worth after a while you see cheating as normal and some may even think they are the problem.
Loving your comment @Olutosin
DeleteOlutosin, I don't know who you are but God knows who you are and He will bless you for your honest, unbiased and VERY INTELLIGENT advice you have been giving on this blog! 🙏🤗🤗🤗❤️
DeleteOlutosin 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
DeleteYou see men, they will embarrass you. That is how I have been crying for days non stop. I packed my bags, he brought out sniper that he will drink and die. I feel so empty and worthless. I look at him and I don't know what I see anymore. Me and this man are Bonnie and Clyde. I have pack all my slay cloths we use in doing pepper dem on the gram one side. Let me go church and figure my life. If you see how people admire us. My one true love did me this. How can I forget? God where were you?
ReplyDeleteSorry for your pain. Bonnie and Clyde were great lovers who died together. If you see yourselves as Bonnie and Clyde, then perhaps there's hope for you yet. Thank God you found out. But also thank God because he will also make a way for you to heal and move on. Counselling may also help because sometimes we need a neutral mediator to express our true feelings in these situations. I wish you both the best.
DeleteMadam
ReplyDeleteJust do whatever gives u peace of mind.Thats all that matters and pls dontbe be hasty in whatever u decide to do.
If she is such a wonderful staff she will not sleep with her boss ?
ReplyDeleteShe did it because she know’s she will gain favor .
If the husband wants to save his home and his job he will get her another department .
As long as you have slept with your subordinate you can never be objective and that’s the truth .
Thank you. Women who know their onions and how much of an asset they are do not need to sleep with anyone because they have nothing to fear.
DeleteI slept with my boss because he was disturbing me and harassing me almost raped me self, I couldn't quit cos I needed a Job and i have suffered a lot before getting that job my son and mum are dependent on me. I am very good at my Job but circumstances beyond my control made me do it. May God have mercy on me, God knows my intent of doing it most men are very wicked even if you tell them no they will try to rape you, I allowed him have his way so I don't hate or resent him because he would have raped me abeg my story is long so don't judge what you don't know. Women many of your husbands are not just pervert they are beast and this man has a wife and children at home.
Delete@17:30, your excuse is a STUPID one. So if your boss asked you to kill someone, you'll do it because you suffered to get the job and you have dependants. Abeg,SHIFT!!!! The right thing to do was to walk out of that job. It's like a lady saying she chose runs because no work. Abeg, SHIFT!!!!
Delete@19:52 my excuse isn't a stupid one. you talked about the right the thing ? the right thing was for me not to be harassed or raped what are you talking about walk out of my Job to what ? I don't blame you may life not happen to you many of you think life is white or black. Some of you don't have idea what some women go through in the hands of your so called beast you call husband. Thank God man is not God and their is judgment day. For you women that enable this men to cause harm to women with your senseless thinking May heaven forgive you all.
DeleteAnnony of peo22.59.A lot people lack empathy, don't mind the judgina, I won't judge you because I have been in your shoes,since I left the job in 2017, I have been jobless.
DeleteI have been doing contract jobs that cannot even take care of me for a week,if not for marriage, I don't know what would have been my fate.
So it's easy for them to open mouth and cuss people without considering the harsh realities of the Nigerian economy.
If she is such a wonderful staff she will not sleep with her boss ?
ReplyDeleteShe did it because she know’s she will gain favor .
If the husband wants to save his home and his job he will get her another department .
As long as you have slept with your subordinate you can never be objective and that’s the truth .
👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteIf you love him, pls move to the state he is residing. Some women are living with their hubby and hubby is cheating on them not to talk of couples leaving apart. I won't advice u to dirvoce him so that the society won't tag u as a single mom of 3kids. Pray to God. If possible buy an anointing oil prophesy to it and rub it on his wandering dick.
ReplyDeleteFor single ladies...make sure you snoop before giving your all or getting too serious. I repeat make sure you snoop. E get why.
ReplyDeleteFor the married ones... snooping be like wahala. Wahala you dey find. Wahala you go getioooo.
So sorry poster. God will direct your step and soothe your sour soul. Pray pls.
Please poster the name of the app..make i check something too..my own husband is always telling about all his friends adventures...please the name of the app
ReplyDeletePoster you should look for a way to move down to the same state where your husband is. Managing emotions in a distance relationship is not moi moi. I am not giving him any reason to cheat but distance in a marriage or relationship is for the strong 💪💪 heart.
ReplyDeleteIf you need to clear your head please do so but please do not end this marriage because he is only cheating, you didn't complain of him beating you or not taking care of you with the kids then he is still in game but you need to move closer to him.
If you said you have forgiven him you also need to forget, pray for him to prosper for him to make it big but please do not fight yourself. You cannot allow a contract staff to take your home because you too you are with a sin.
The app you downloaded is also cheating, the contract girl maybe good at the job, may be the best but because he is sleeping with her that is why he need to rank her low and lost a good potential to the company so you think.
Time to make adjustments over the relationship, time to fight for your marriage, time to forgive andove forward.
*move forward
ReplyDeleteI do not like the fact that a lot of people are blaming it on them being in different state. You can be far from your wife and do not cheat because even though she is not there you know your God is there. I was away from my wife for 2 years due to getting an extra degree. Whenever the urge came up i just put on gospel songs or watch a movie. Women were after me, but I will never put my gold in the mud of a strange woman.
ReplyDeleteThe poster who is the wife was far from her husband, did she cheat? So why blame distance?. The man is just a cheat so do not blame his friend. Who knows he could even be the one that encourages his cheat. I do not know if my friend cheats because they know my stand and keep that aspect of their lives from me. One who cheats mistakenly laughed about it in my presence once and till date regrets it and if not for business that makes us relate he would have been discarded. Some people will come here and say I am ugly. So because I am handsome I should not use my looks to glorify God. The best of things should not be kept for God? Some are in the grave but God spared me and I am alive so the best way to appreciate God in your little mind is to invite demons into your life? God forbid! People in the grave are not having side chicks, I will not abuse this grace. And if you say all men cheat it shows you are just ashamed of the kind of man you were unfortunate to marry so you say that to soften the blow.
God bless you and keep your home sir
DeleteGod continue to bless and give you the grace sir to hold on to God and be disciplined.
DeleteGod bless you sir
DeleteThank you!!!!! May God continue to hold you both.
DeleteRandy men using distance as excuse upandan.
God honour you and bless you. I am happy as a man you have said the truth. if a woman had made this comment it will loook like just talk and the distance is to blame. while i do not deny the fact that some women do not live up to their expectations as wives and same way some men, the desire to cheat is solely a persons decision. you can choose not to cheat and work on your marriage. afterall alot of women tolerate shortcomings in their marriages and do not run into the arms of another person because of that. men cheat because they have been programmed to think it is their right and they have been wired like that. society especially the african one sees it a male birthright and they can have plenty women but a woman must endure all and stick to one man. people should not insult God by saying men were created with a lack of self control. he has given us us all that ability and till a man proposes in his heart like the hebrew boys who proposed not to eat the kings meal he will always find a reason to cheat.
Deleteso dear poster, your husbands cheating has nothing to do with you. you are both not perfect and I am sure not all of his behaviours are acceptable to you. moving to his state will not make him stop if he is not ready. you are not the Holy Spirit so quarelling or fighting will not make him stop. you can stay away for a while to clear your head cos finding out your partner is cheating is heartbreaking and a big blow especially if you have never had reason to suspect however sit him down and let him know how his actions have upset you and how you feel, say your mind and let it go. if you, can use a condom till you feel convinced he has changed. lastly pray, yes praysers have changed some men..dont let him dictate your happiness though, also dont let it affect your self esteem cos it is not your fault. stay strong
Thank you 🙏. Distance is no excuse at all. Plus not all men cheat. MINE DOESN'T.
DeleteMadam it is not you. Even if this your husband was living in the same state with you and the kids he would still be this way.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is the type that makes up his mind that there isn't any way a man can be faithful.
It has been like this from our mama and papa dem, e don tey wey dem don dey tolerate them.
E dey your hand now sha. To divorce or not to.
Hmmmm. This is hard
Poster what have you seen in marriage that I haven't seen? In my own case hubby slept with my brother's daughter that was living with me, she was nineteen then and I didn't even know, I thought she was 15 or 16 years. A gal staying in my house, eating my food and all that but doesn't greet me. This is a long story sha. It's been 8years now and it's still very fresh in my mind but I have moved on.
ReplyDeleteThe second one was hubby reconnecting to his ex that her husband died after 5years of marriage. Last two years Dec, hubby traveled to their village and he's not picking my calls, he only calls at his own convenient time. When he came back I noticed a particular number that always call him even on Sundays, in the morning she will be the first to greet my husband, "daddy good morning sir". Hubby too is calling her mummy. I took the number and got the person on Facebook only to see she was his ex now a widow. She posted pictures of herself while in hubby's car and wearing his cap. I confronted the woman, she told me how she and hubby had serious fucking back in the village and that she's not leaving hubby that she will chase me away from my marriage. I cried and almost ran mad, uptil now I never told anyone and this is the first time am even talking about it.
Today, to God be the glory, I am a very happy woman. I am too busy making money. Even though I am still married to him, the vibe is no longer there, I have developed thick skin. I have moved on. I no longer want to be useless like hubby use to say.
Cheating is not something to be experienced by anyone, it's too painful.
Poster please, move to your husband state of work, get busy and try to develop thick skin, if you die today, your husband will marry another woman. Pls get hold of yourself and be alive for your kids.
Sorry to say, your husband is a foul human being.
DeleteMe i don't support that part of sacking the contract staff shaaaa......
ReplyDeleteAnyway makachukwu forgive him, maybe if you both start living in same house every day his philandering ways MIGHT reduce.
E go shock you to know say some men get about two houses where they reside in same city, one for the side chicks and the other for the family.
Again me im of the opinion that you forgive him after he must have made a commitment to put in effort to stop,like one anon said up there,he is in his enjoyment phase.
One day my step uncle was telling me that if not because of God why will a man not cheat and enjoy his life when he has money and everything going for him, like these men once they have arrived the next thing is to chase after that spec they have always dreamt of and were not opportune to have, they go all the way fooling around.
So my own is you guys need to have a real talk, then forgive him and then begin to enjoy your life too while you look after your kids, like maintain yourself, do what makes you happy,don't tie happiness to worldly things though ,face God, and be calm. Then stop snooping
I'm reading comments including Stella's and I'm shaking my head. Is this what marriage is really like? People blaming the poster for living in a separate state. What if the man's job takes him to different places? Should she and the kids be following him state by state so that he doesn't cheat? Why are you all talking as if men do not cheat on their wives with women even on the same street? Why didn't she cheat on him, abi does she not have sexual needs?
ReplyDeleteI don't understand this concept of remaining with an unrepentant cheat. So you choose a lifetime of unhappiness and frustration because you want to remain "Mrs"? By cheating, he proves that he doesn't love you, that your mental wellbeing means nothing to him, that your life means nothing to him, the happiness of your children means nothing to him. Do you all even realize that?
What if you're infected with a deadly STI? The children you claim you're staying for would become motherless. Worse, the children grow up to be adults with trust issues, who either cheat on their spouses or tolerate cheating.
Even God who hates divorce placed adultery as the only ground for a divorce for you to know how serious it is.
I'm seriously disappointed with how most of you reason. I've seen a major reason why Nigerian men cheat: they know they can get away with it.
Poster, make a decision that will give YOU peace of mind. People around you will judge you if you decide leaving your marriage is that decision. Be prepared.
Also, your husband cannot fire the lady as he's not the owner of the company and it would be wrong for him to rate her performance low if she doesn't deserve it. That she's sleeping with your husband doesn't mean she isn't good at her job. There are a lot of side chicks who are very good at their professional jobs.
Also, never think of confronting the side chick. Your husband is the problem, not her. She'll get her Karma, one way or the other.
As for his sister who's helping him to get girls, confront her in your family meeting. What a wicked soul. Keep her away from your children because if she cares for your children, she would never support her brother's activities. May she go through worse in her marriage. Nonsense
I am a guy and my babes dont call me unless i do. They dont even call on weekends unless i do. I see and fuck dem during office hours and leave the office for home immediately after 4 or 5pm. I leave my phone for my son to play games cos there's nothing to worry about. My dear poster, there's nothing you can do about the cheating. Its only if he wants to stop that he will. Develop a thick skin and ignore cos i can bet you that your husband has upped his game from you discovering
ReplyDelete������.. you sure say you well so?
DeleteYou are unremorseful in your ways and it's not good at all.
That was how i trusted my pastor husband with all my heart till he had a child outside. Dear poster, the only way out is if God can allow us wear their penises as pendants on our necklaces. We fix it for sex , remove and wear it back. Just be prayerful cos he can only stop when he gets old and the gbola loses strength. He is always at home now like a good boy. He showed me pepper. Advise from a 65 year old woman.
ReplyDeleteDear poster please be strong. Your story is 0.0001 of what some of us have gone through in our homes. Just pray and gbakamu cos no juju, sex, surgery or bleaching can keep him. Build yourself financially, look good and healthy for your children sake dear.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella and bvs. I have been laughing reading comments, infact I have been better since Friday I took the best advice to leave to my parents for a while.
ReplyDeleteI'll certainly send updates, know that im way better and stronger now and ofcourse I'm still laughing at my stupidity all this years.
For snoopers I'll help your ministry, but I didn't send you oo. You will find the cheat on play store or Apple store, "WhatsApp web".
I hope Stella post this oo, she's against snooping
I don't think moving to his state would change anything,he is a Chronic cheat,he may try to hide it,I mean look at the sort of friends he keeps,as long as they remain in his life nothing is going to change because he will keep getting influenced by them.
ReplyDeleteI would advise you separate from him,watch him and don't stop believing. At the end of the day you know what is best for you and your kids.
What if the man is even the one influencing his friends? Why blame his innocent friends. From the look of things her husband is a pro, even more in the game than the said friends everyone has been fascinating. Look at how he made her relaxed by insulting the friends( diversion)
DeleteThen he even went as far as saying he always advice them( deception)
He is very crafty and knows the game well. He deletes everything that could give him away and even got upset when he was confronted without proof (gaslight) feigning anger and annoyance till she showed him everything. Please her husband his worse then the friends.
You better have money before you divorce. Dont fly from frying pan to fire. Have money, if you want to keep a side dude, do so. Travel,have hobbies, maybe squash, swimming or something else. Men na oloshi from time but you need to be a smoother oloshi to have peace
ReplyDeleteMY SISTER START MIDNIGHT PRAYERS TO CLAIM YOUR HUSBAND BACK FROM STRANGE WOMEN\GO TO U TUBE
ReplyDeleteMadam sorry oo
ReplyDelete