Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
1. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
7. Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Use humor to release tension
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
When you have done all, seek God in PRAYER
#copied
Wow I love this madam Stella,keep it up.Chukwu gozie gi.
ReplyDeleteamen
DeleteThanks for these tips..i will try to put them in practice
ReplyDeleteI'm bookmarking this to study on later.
ReplyDeleteThis is so written for me
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ReplyDeleteHelpful tips..
ReplyDeleteI really like this post
ReplyDeleteI flare up easily and can be destructive in that angry state but it's short lived then later I regret most of my actions and words..
ReplyDeleteYou might not remember these tips in the heat of the moment, but always remember to walk away from that person or that place that made u angry.. Once u realize that you are so upset, please walk away and do not say a word. Just go far away for a while, u can shout, cry or say all sorts while you are alone,u don't need to bottle it up.. But let out the emotion while alone, once u do this.. Take a deep breath and recall what led to the altercation, you will find out that it may or may not be entirely your fault,but walking away saves you from escalating the issue to what you might not be able to control if you had reacted..
You can listen to music, take a stroll, get a drink, call that funny friend of yours, read Sdk blog or just do something to keep you at ease. Once you notice your anger has died down, go home and have your bath.. You will feel relaxed..,but please do not bring up the topic or discuss what got you upset, cos you might get more upset reminiscing on what you tried to forget..
If you are at fault,, always say sorry once you realize your mistakes,, if the other person is at fault and fails to apologize to you.. Please ignore and move on with life..
These are practical things that have worked for me.. Please note that if it's a heated phone conversation, to avoid saying words you will later regret, once you are upset.. Hang up immediately, switch off your phone to avoid texting lengthy insulting messages or sending voice notes.. Till you are calm..
Thanks Stella for these tips. I'm quick to anger with people I care about but funny enough people who don't mean much to me hardly piss me off. Pls is this normal?
ReplyDeleteThanks Stella for these tips. I'm quick to anger with people I care about but funny enough people who don't mean much to me hardly piss me off. Pls is this normal?
ReplyDeleteSince I turned my house to cell center fellowship, spirit of anger and overreaction just left me.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jesus
Very happy for you.
DeleteGod be praised!
Because you behave like a werewolf here.