Every woman should read this......#MustRead.
I hope this helps someone improve on their relationship.....
Please read to the end!!!
Friday, October 09, 2020
180 comments:
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Oooh chimo!!! This is heart wrenching but filled with bitter truth..
ReplyDeleteI understand this guy even though he sounds harsh. My own case I am female and helplessly in love with a man our iq don't match. He is awesomely awesome in everything except that I always have to lower my reasoning sometimes to communicate. It hurts so deeply. We were getting on good because I am someone that tries to really accommodate and understand people, till recently. We started talking marriage and almost everything changed! You know trying to prove he's the head and we must do as he says, meanwhile your iq is not catching up to see you are leading us into fire. Lie lie he won't agree till we make that mistake and he starts saying sorry. I was trapped with him during lockdown and I kept crying over this thing. Now I am so confused on what to do. Like the love is so strong, but this issue is messing everything up.
DeleteI also got to understand this iq thing is why he has been struggling financially. Like dude is good to go, but just thinks out stupid things at core point and loses everything. And he is so stubborn to hear from you.
Being that he will be the head, I don't really know what the future holds anymore. I am in God's hands
A stitch in time saves nine. A broken relationship is way better than a broken or enduring marriage. Your perfect match will locate you please. marriage is way more deeper than relationship
DeleteAnon 10:44, I felt the same as you and went ahead with the marriage anyway. Disaster!!! I wasted the years I was with him. PS the love can't be strong if you don't click mentally. I guess he's good in bed then.
DeleteAnon 10:44.... you see that issue you stated here that you think is a small thing will be such a huge thing and you might end up being frustrated in the marriage if you decide to go ahead. If he listens to advise and take correction, it would have been manageable but him letting that ego issue come up amd standing his ground till things get messed up can be very costly. You will be tagged a nagging and insubmissive wife. Seek God's face before you decide though. May God guide you.
DeleteAnon 10:44, pls don't marry him. I am seriously begging you cos it happened to me. I thought I could manage it in marriage but when the issue of being submissive to someone I couldn't look up to and who was backward in thinking , I had to leave amongst other things.I'm just getting myself.so pls better now than after you are married and have put much effort to no avail.
DeleteI understand him totally this is what my male bestie complains about.
DeleteI keep telling him to go for more mature girls atleast their gists won't be basic.
Young people need to do better these days, read read read, books expose you to a whole lot, research things even for the fun of the knowledge you get.
Be always willing to push yourself
If you haven't discovered your purpose, take out time to think on it.
For those looking for what to read...
The monk who sold his ferrari
The alchemist
Etc...these are great books that would open up your mind.
Stop being basic.
At least, I can see honesty in this man.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is, Nigeria and the world at large is full of girls and women like the girl in that conversation.
DeleteWhat am I even saying? We actually have plenty of them on this very blog! In my opinion, she is exactly bv Pink lady a.k.a veteran sidechick!...
Aaah mama mia! You mean yori yori princess?
DeleteI won't call the second person because of my love for her. Her comments makes me laugh some times. She's better off a comedian..
But this guy is silly tho! Why date her for so long? 6months was enough for him to have made his decision. 3yrs? Too long a time! I don't support him on that.
You mean Rhapsody, she should be the second person here.
DeleteWell, kinda true shantelle, but then not everyone can just disengage their feelings from someone they 'truly' love like it's nothing. Some people might be needing an overwhelming external force like the new lady in the above guy's case before they can be able to let go of someone they really had true feelings for.
DeleteAnd umn, like the guy insinuated, he tried to give her time just so maybe he could rub off on her and catch some of his intellectual heat but i guess she's insulated by trivialities. Tho his reasons are valid to me but.... indeed 3 years is a long time sha. Lol
He was just waiting for the right distraction so as to protect his feelings during the breakup not minding of how she'd cope with with her own part of the breakup. Selfish.
He would have waited for her to also find her own kinda guy to fall back on to be fair. Lol
Shantelle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteWhen a man doesn't want you for the long haul, he'll find any reason to offload you after fvcking your brains out for 3 years.
ReplyDelete🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️
They fucked eachother.
DeleteTo a large extent. Let me agree with you for once and for the first time.
DeleteEasah, its not always like that!
DeleteEESAH they never signed any agreement to marry after 3 years of "fuck"
DeleteBoth of them enjoyed the fucking, so is not like the guy enjoyed it alone.
There is more to life and marriage. It is not just about sex.
Try and see the truth in the guy's chat.
Don’t mind them. It took him three years to realize she didn’t know anything.
DeleteBut his reason are very valid, no everyman wants just a house wife, some want women with dreams they can support and also support his dreams. I love the guys honesty, at least maybe she can actually work on herself or on the long run meet a man who just wants a housewife.
DeleteVery true...don't mind all hus excuses
DeleteA man who truly loves her will take her d way she is..He too has his own faults..NO ONE IS PERFECT...
But remember one thing in life..KARMA IS A BITCH...
Na so oo
DeleteI want to ask, if the table were to turn around and the man is an illiterate and the only thing he can boast of is money. Would you advice your sister to marry such a man?
DeleteHe wasted her time for 3 yrs . Some women r not interested in marriage, if he told such women this, na to laugh waka.
DeleteHe is not honest if he were, he would have left her earlier or encouraged her, mounded her to what he wanted.
Anyways he may be saying all this to Ginger her tho. Married is not a GOAL..... your personal well-being and happiness is .
Hard work hard work na wetin don cause many girls Dey rubbish there lives in its jazz panda . Mk I face work wey deynpay my bills abeg.
You too do as if you be virgin, may be na secondary virgin sef...@Eesah.
DeleteMay be it was a no sex relationship... He wants the chic to have goals in life.
This is one of the things that makes some men stay late outside, some can even stay with mai-shai (those aboki selling tea n indomie till 11pm) before going home
Eesah my thoughts exactly!
DeleteEesah you made sense today. Keep it up!
DeleteThank you my dear. This guy is just tired of this lady n looking for any excuse to get rid of her because he has a new catcg. Even if she is the most brilliant lady, he still will say another thing. Ladies men do not care about our intelligence or our degrees unless they wanna use us to help them financially. Men are not intimidated by women. The sooner u learn n accept this the better
DeleteWow! We ladies really need to do better! The guy listed alot of facts,aside reality shows,mass communication what else does she knows? She's not knowledgeable in any other things which is bad! What do you bring to the table aside sleeping and eating?? Gone are the days where our parents don't bother but now,things have drastically changed!you have to be up and doing..the guy is bored cos they can't both gist on so many issues cos she's so stereotype! Read up so many things online, politics,sports, education, aviation and so on and be updated! I know some men get tired easily when their partners don't match intelligence but still do better so that stories like this won't come up
ReplyDeleteThank you Paris
DeleteNah
DeleteThe reason he suddenly realized her flaws is because there’s another and he instantly started comparing them. While the girl should try and wilden her horizon, she should be grateful because someone like this will constantly have other girls playing your role.And once there is another, you can never be enough.
You are so on point Paris, but When a man is fade up or meets something he terms better than what he has, even is the girl in question is everything he listed, he would still found still find fault.
DeleteI am on the side of the guy..Seriously some ladies are not trying at all...Not engaging at all, having mudane conversations..Listen to radio, read books, listen to conversational programmes it help in making statements and arguments..This is an eye opener...
DeleteAt the end of the day, na hair this kind girl go sell.
DeleteHe didn’t tell her his feelings in the first, second or even this third year until he met someone else. In a relationship, I think it is very unfair when one party does not talk about the things he/she doesn’t like about the other. Don’t hold on to sensitive things like these, hoping the other person will change when you haven’t even told that person. And then one day, when you are done, you write epistles saying you love her. You never did, because if you did, in three years you would have told her if you wanted her to grow.
DeleteI tire abeg.. love love . Yen yen yen
Someone will definitely see what he missed. Everyone, i repeat everyone has something to offer.
DeleteAnon 9:33...another angle!
DeleteThe guy is tired and found someone else abeg.Leave matters.So for 3 years he didn't realize her IQ and his don't match.
DeleteHow many girls really have interest in sports and politics?
With what i have seen and witnessed around me,I can say this guy just didn't see a future with her from the begining.
Look at Kiddwaya and Erica,he started telling her from the go,that they have nothing in common and their views and experiences are different.
How about telling her this after the first year of your relationship??.If i was this girl,i would just move on and improve myself,take this as a lesson and go!!!!No need to cry.
You see this male gender,forget.There is a popular rich businesswoman in the east,don't want to call her name.This lady was a househelp from the village for the man's family.The man was married to a lawyer or so,can't remember.But divorced to marry the househelp from village.He died many years later and left the business for this lady.Today the business has expanded more,with more wealth.She still can't speak proper english or communicate fluently.I doubt she knows shingbai.But ask me what a successful business and well travelled man,had in common to a teenage uneducated girl from the village.
It took 3 years and potential new pu$$y for him to realise that she is a dummy? The guy is done and wants to move on. Maybe the new lady will also find him less than smart.
DeleteSweetie don't be naive. Men don't care about a woman's intelligence or what she brings to the table apart from peace of mind n femininity. Anon 12:24 summed it up nicely with her example.
DeleteThis is just a simple case of a man finding a shiny new toy and is now bored with the old one. All this Tory he is telling her is just to soften the blow on her. Read between the lines!
Generation z
ReplyDeleteWhen I keep hammering "marry your class" I mean your class is every ramification. I too kept meeting air-heads men till I met my husband. I remember when I told my ex then that we don't talk. Conversation with him was shallow and once I bring up an intelligent topic, he finds a way to excuse himself.
DeleteStella thank you for saving my life. If I hadn't picked the courage to tell my parents to return the bride price and went on with that marriage as all my friends and my mom were clamouring for...my life would have been a disaster. I met my husband 2weeks after it was broken off and just one date, I knew he was the one.
Exacly the kind of man i'm praying for...someone who can mentally and spiritually challenge me.
ReplyDeleteLord, i'll wait for him..because I know only You can give such.
Sweet lady...pray for someone whom you are compatible with..someone whose faults are your strengths, whose strengths are your faults..marriage not a challenge. It's a union for life. Pray for one who can take you for who you are, and you take him for who he is..for no one is PERFECT. When marriage becomes a challenge, ego sets in and no one will want to concede defeat ..hence divorce sets in...be wise..
DeleteMy dear it is worth waiting for. I always found something missing in the men I dated until I met my husband.
DeleteThe man is a walking encyclopaedia, knows everything about everything, book smart, street smart.
Even with a doctorate, I run to him for advice on how to approach complicated issues and he is right 99% of the time. Old professors and top professionals come to him for advice.
Sometimes I bring up random topics for discussion just to hear him speak words of wisdom.
He could also be knowledgeable in cheating.
DeleteAnon 12:32, Is it the unintelligent ones that don't cheat? Infact na them cheat pass because every Amaka, Sikiratu, etc is their spec.
DeleteI can so relate with what the guy is saying mehn.... When you meet someone and y'all just start getting into great conversations; conversations that has to do with different phase of life, you'll know you have met the one you will never be bored of!
ReplyDeleteGreat conversations= beautiful/lasting friendship
That relationship up there will never be the same again!
I have said it here repeatedly, it was not written anywhere that it's in a man's position to be intelligent or vast! Ladies, broaden your horizon! Read! Learn! It must not be in your field or related to your field! Just know "small"! Drop the PhD in BBnaija and all those degrees you have in zee world, telenovelas and social media! Learn about things that would really contribute to your growth and development and no one would ever try to rubbish you like this in whatever capacity...
DeleteComing from ms.A? That's rich!
DeleteLol. Very funny. If everybody is on the TV, who ll watch who.. Young lady move on, I know u re a good person that's why he stayed 3years.. Cry a little and move on.. You don't ve to be on TV to be successful, do what makes you happy and believe in God. And u brother I pray u enjoy the intelligent woman u ve met, so that tomorrow u ll not come and start begging her to forgive u.
ReplyDeleteRead the chat again for better understanding.
DeleteRead the conversation up there again, and read this your comment again, shey won jora won?
DeleteYes oo, both of them are not wrong, it's just that they are not compatible..Any man or woman that does not love you the way you are..is not meant for you. There are some men that that will love this kind d of lady. Cos they will be focused on making and keeping the home.
DeleteThe other kind of lady who exhibits so much intelligence and smartness might turn out to be the feminist career woman type who never has time for the family.(no offence to intelligent ladies oo). My point is that there is a man for every lady and a lady for every man. Any man or lady that doesn't love you for who you are is not for you..after all NO ONE IS PERFECT
Move on girl, make good grades and graduate..that's when life starts.
Remove your wig first and read again.
DeleteGD...
@9:21, you are right, compatibility is the key word, no matter how dumb or unintelligent, there is someone for everyone! We can't all like BBnaija, we can't all be book smart, or walking encyclopaedia, the world will be a boring place. Find one who you are compatible with, who will love you the way you are and move on... The world is bigger than me or you!
DeleteHmmmm....
ReplyDeleteThe guy is going nowhere jor. He just want her to be serious the same way my husband nag me.
ReplyDeleteNow I’m beginning to change. At least I can now differentiate between am and I’m, although I leant that one on SDK.
You men should please try and take it easy with itibolibos like us, smartness comes from God, we can’t fight him. Nmadu aga aba Chukwu ogwu?
Hahahaha😀😀😀😀
DeleteLol Fan, change is constant my dear. I hope this lady improves too
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI just love you.😂😂😂
DeleteYou are right fan..they should take it easy on us..my hubby is smarter than me too..
DeleteGod already gave you brain. Will He cone down and read to you again?? Fan read oh.
DeleteNobody is an iti..It is the level you push yourself to acquire knowledge..Even if you are given a bucket to study, you have an interesting discussion about it if you set your mind to..
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteIwo olorun
DeleteFan ehn
😆😆😆
Hahahaha Fan Kuku kill me🤣🤣🤣
DeleteHahahhahahahahahahaa @Fan Emmanuel
DeleteI love you too sis 😍
DeleteI love you too sis 😍
DeleteYou guys should not laugh at me oo🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteThis woman🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteLol
DeleteOmg omg omg faaaan! You were the second person i was referring to in my first comment. But i can't mention my eyim ID and fall her hand like that nau,i decided to chill!
DeleteSeeing your comment,i burst out laughing and say mai confes...lmao. For admitting your say you know yourself wella...my love for you has increasedx2. Idi too much,no dull moment with you!
Fan you just got a fan in me. You're an adorable "itibolibo". I'm sure that's what your husband loves about you.
DeleteWe can't all be "bookuru" like oversabi me.🙈
There's a man for every woman.😊😊
Shantelle you na my babe na, even though sometimes we disagree to agree 💋
DeleteSo sweet of you @Fan! I love how you own it with "your full chest"...
DeleteLmao 😂 Shantelle !!! That’s exactly how I feel about her and some other people. They say some things and I’m just exasperated, but you can’t even be angry with them cos they’re funny and they admit their faults
DeleteYou never disappoint.😍🙌
DeleteYeh my chest oooo 😢 😢😢😢😢🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty the guy us not wrong.. This is his future we're talking about even the future of his children. And the guy has tried so many times to make her see reasons but she just wants to live the baby girl life and not contribute anything mentally.
When I met my husband, my intelligence were the things that attracted me to him coupled with physical appearance. I could hold conversation and had knowledge about hthings happening around.
We women can do better. Add value for yourself first jot even because of any man but for your freaking self!!!
I hope this babe changes this time around
👌👌👌The man raised solid points.
DeleteWow! Interesting read, everybody wants a partner they can have intelligent conversations with.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what my ex said four years ago... that I am boring and too quite to his liking... can you imagine. I was pained, I cried and moved on. Now he is back begging me to accept him back.. that I am the best for wife. I asked him... when did I become the best cos last time I checked..am still that boring timid girl that doesn't know Whatsup". When men are tired of relationship, they can find silliest excuse to give.
DeleteMaybe he has decided to just manage your boring self like that. At all,at all na im bad na. But don't tell me you have changed or improved from that boring olodo girl he left years ago?
DeleteAnon 18:41 don't be silly. He came back he didn't leave because she was too dumb or anything . He left cus he wanted 2 see other variety of women. When he got bored he came back. Men don't care what women have to say or how much book we read. Or haven't u seen a man dump an educated smart well read woman for a girlie girl that only sells hair n does makeup? Happened to me n ever since my mentality changed. His own excuse was that I debate with him too much n think I know too much. He termed that nagging. So pls stop thinking a man wants u to know about sports, politics, intelligent debates. He only wants that thing ur sitting on, be ur legs, he wants ur respect n pampering. He wants ur confidence n how well u can keep a home n carry yourself n how industrious u are, ur street sense too. Things u don't need to go to school for. Only your parents care about how well read you are to brag to their friends. Know this n know peace
DeleteIt goes both ways cos we have men like this girl too.
ReplyDeleteTruth, though it hurts, I remember hubby telling me that if he checks my browsing history, apart from sdk blog, what else will he find?, what else do I check out on Google, do I make research? Omor o dun mi, now I'm making extra effort to be intentional about learning. Does not have to necessarily bring money, but you have it in your brain
ReplyDeleteAnon 09:00. Your hubby is really funny. But I blame you more because you should have told him that Sdk blog is a total package and an extremely interesting platform. I learnt alot from intelligent bvs on this blog. I learn current issues like politics, celebrities lifestyles even some work ethics from those that work in cooperate organizations and business owners .I'm even thinking of trying out the onion therapy posted on ihn yesterday. Don't let anyone guilt-trip into thinking that reading blogs is for the jobless.
DeleteBlogs are a guilty pleasure dear. Your husband doesn't even have to find out you read them. Problem with we women we like to share too much about our selves with our men. Leave a little mystery for him! It makes you more attractive n puts that spark in ur marriage. Now see. U think if he knows what u browse he will have mouth to say all u read is SDK blog. Have some books u buy at random just to shut him up. When he's around leave financial blogs open on ur browser then do as if u have gotten up to take a break so that he comes in n looks at it n thinks you are really trying to research. A woman's life is not hard as long as she knows how to be conny cus that is what men want. Even when u are married the game doesn't end. Keep some mystery about u, woman. N even if he asks you about what u read, pick one or 2 keywords from there and ask how HE feels about it. He will be so happy to share n take over the conversation cus men like to hear themselves talk n care little about what women have to say. Bitter truth
DeleteLadies apart from fashion , Africa magic yoruba , Africa magic igbo , telemondo ....pls pls be interested in global and niger politics ! Be interested in football even if u dont know players name ..be interested in ur bag s / hubby's vision and work on ur intellectual capacity ...after all what is beauty without brains ???
ReplyDeleteThank you. I became interested in formula 1 and Barcelona becomes of my hubby and I came to love those sports. My hubby pick interest in pointless and food network cos that was my thing. Pls let’s us be intentional about learning in marriage it brings up fun things to talk about.
DeleteInteresting read. How true are these chats and trend? How do they even find their way online? Though there's a good message in it .
ReplyDeleteSometimes, talking to people may not really motivate them unto change rather you walk the talk. The young man being exposed, should have gone an extra mile to help her if truly he loves her as claimed and not just talking alone. Some motivation aren't word based alone but actions. What stops him from lecturing her privately or getting her into learning a skill? This is a woman you spend three solid years with and you can't influence her or improve her, then you failed as a man.
You don't just give up on people like that without helping them. Where then is the love? I bet you, that lady will have an area she will be very good at when worked upon. Sometimes, all people need is a little more patience to get it right.
👍👍👍
DeleteGod bless you for this @teejay
DeleteWell do you know if he has tried to make her see it and she insists its just BBNaija and the other one...My dear some people are just stuck in their ways..Maybe she is someone who may have difficulty in learning..So we cannot say besides he knows what he wants in a woman and we can't fault him for that..
DeleteThat guy might have done enough, I know their type.
DeleteThat guy is/was honest and that will ginger that chic to become great. Not too late to change if only she will be smart about it with prayers.
Most times, we hear about marriage/s break down and the young man won't open up and mention these but will tell his friends. May God help that young lady.
@Mao Akuh, how do you mean? The chat we read didn't state that, rather he was only talking and there was no place he talked about the actions he took in getting her better. As a mass communication student you feel she won't be good in a given area? Truth is that, the young man wasn't truly in love. If he was, improving his woman would be his top priority. So what kept him for three years if I am to ask?
DeleteTeejay you are so so on point .
DeleteThe chat I read up there didn't indicate an atom of that guy gingering her to be better.He only waited for 3years to see if she can improve without him acting atleast.
But in all,both of them will be fine.Definitely she will meet her match one-day,that's all.
@Teejay Didn't you read where he said he has been encouraging her for the past 3 years and there's no improvement?
DeleteLol. Saw this a while back and had mixed feelings about it.
ReplyDeleteI like the guy for identifying an issue and possibly terminating the relationship, better than managing it in marriage. It is indeed frustrating if you can’t get on the same wavelength with your spouse. I only wish most women can be more assertive in taking a stand when they identify character traits they can’t put up with, some will rather rationalize and amend their own standards just to accommodate the less intelligent/driven/ambitious (etc) man.
On the other hand, I wondered if there wasn’t anything good about the girl. The chat makes it seem she is just an air-head. Is it possible he is unfairly evaluating her because she likes BBN? How is it any different from the sports he mentioned? Maybe based on her background she is not well exposed to build her horizontal/lateral knowledge, so, what has he done to educate her?
Oh well, it’s not his responsibility. So ladies take note! It’s not your responsibility to build up a man that doesn’t meet your minimum standards, give your review comments, end the relationship and bounce.
💯
DeleteOnly just few people know the true meaning of love. And it’s damn sad.
What attracted her to him in the first place I ask myself.
The guy may be sapiosexual. And may I add that he’s in the honeymoon phase with the new girl hence why he thinks he’s met the bone of his bones already.
Mystic, I love you so much for this comment. Thanks dear..... You said it. better. You are intelligent.
Delete👏👏👏
DeleteHoneymoon stage, exactly!@ Convince me.
DeleteThanks Teejay and Castle.
Convince me,you get the koko
DeleteGreat perspective Mystic.
Delete21st century problem..
ReplyDeleteLessons learnt, points taken. But this is not a criteria for all women. I had a female colleague who doesn't know basic things like this lady but today she married. (This my colleague graduated from a private Uni oo).
ReplyDeleteNot all men use things like this as a yardstick, let's stop making it look like women who doesn't know how government, stock market, Continents, technology or what's going on in the news won't get married.
Marriage is not a yardstick.
You're right!!
DeleteI have a friend who just wants to live the baby girl life, she hates stress and guess what?? Her Husband likes her like that!!
The guy's points are valid though!! But like we always say, marry your type or your spec 🤷🤷
You are right @odun
DeleteYou are right @odun
DeleteEven if she doesn't know much, atleast she should know the Holy Bible and how to pray.
DeleteMaybe she married someone on her own intelligent level too? When two people operating on the same level and frequency marry,no problem. It's when one is ona higher level than the other that there may be problem.
Deleteodun you people thinkand talk too much....did anyone say it is a yard stick or did anyone say her type wont marry...not eeryman likes her type. this life there is someone for eery kind
DeleteMarriage is all about friendship and communication, if you cannot hold a meaningful conversation with your spouse then you are in a very boring relationship.
ReplyDeleteI love his honesty, he made very valid points. Better he breaksup with her now before he married her out of pity and gets bored along the line
ReplyDeleteI discovered lately that majority of these young girls all the know is to buy cloths, slay, get iPhone, update stat, almost nothing intellectual. Yahoo boys now even made it easy, cos those want just need a woman to slay n keep the home, act dumb. May God help this next generation.
Same reason my hubby left his ex, she was beautiful, but all she does was dress up, Cook good meals and take care of his house. He wanted more, an intellect, someone that can hold any kind of conversation, smart. He tells me most times that he didn't marry me for my beauty but but also for my brain.
Yinmu.
DeleteYen yen yen. Unnecessary pressure and expectations from others. People are different. The girl is studying mass com which means she’s entertainment inclined and also may be a creative. Some people are romantics, dreamers, creatives and all that. IQs and interests differ.
ReplyDeleteI am very boring and don’t know anything save physics and world news. My brother doesn’t care about anything other than making good beats on his keyboard and laptop. Ask him the capital of Lagos and he will argue with you that states don’t have capitals only Nigeria has a capital. When it comes to music he will break it down so well you’d think he has a PhD in it.
Bottom line is people should be with people they can vibe with instead of stretching them into what they’re not. It took Mr Okrika Einstein three years to decide she is visionless after he has ravaged her visionless body for years. Put the same Mr. Okrika Einstein in the same room with Okonjo Iweala and she’ll probably feel he won’t match up intellectual within an hour. Local champion feeling funky.
God bless you. Everyone is creative in their own field. We all have our strengths & weaknesses, I just don't like the way we make it look like women must be 1000% & grounded in everything to be marriageable. As if it'll stop the man from cheating, lying & being unfaithful if he would.
Delete🙄🙄
God you are so smart. I learnt that thing last 2 months .I like over archiving ,I'm very business inclined .the type that plans for 10 years to come .and I had friends that were just chilled or even trying to figure life out.the point is not everybody will want what you want ,in as much as knowing a little about everything is beautiful,80% of people do not know something about everything.people are still trying to navigate life,some people just want to relax and watch bbn,some just want to be there for the entertainment. and after so many years of struggling cause this chat was me and my friends I had to come to the conclusion that not every body is Marho and not everybody will be like me that plans and want to know every other thing apart from what they are interested in and theres nothing wrong with that. You can't cope you move
DeleteA 1000 likes for your comment👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteA 1000 likes for your comment👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteHigh five jare!
DeleteI can't date your brother cos I don't like music that much. How can someone not be able to talk about anything other than music? Well,I m sure he will find a woman who will be ready to talk music with him all day long. Everyone should just find their spec and there will no need for complain. Me i.like someone who knows a little about everything.
DeleteThe guy has seen a new pussy that he wants to fuck....tell me something,you've been with someone three years. You didn't complain since so the girl would start working on herself,now you met someone two weeks ago and you start complaining. I tell you most old relationships are boring and guys want spices and new feelings each day. If you want to spice put curry and watch the taste change. Don't keep someone three years without complains and all of a sudden want change. If the girl was so boring how did u guys last three years? Not all relationships are like Obama and Michelle's.
ReplyDeleteIn this life, A woman's concern shouldn't only be about looking peng and in vogue or even getting married to a handsome rich educated millionaire. First of all, what are you and who are you my lady?? Are you just an ordinary empty barrel covered up in a shallow makeup and trendy colorful wears?? Build yourself up to being absolutely nothing but an asset to anyone around you not just for marriage sake but because that's actually how it is supposed to be. Stop limiting yourself to only irrelevant things that relevant people give little or no care at all to.
ReplyDeleteMe i can't fault the man at all because the world is evolving and everyone needs to evolve along with the world, No sane person would want to have any serious thing to do with an empty stagnant person🤷♀️🤷♀️.
Its is well with the man and the girl. The man probably has met a feminist who has knowledge in every topic. Wait until you marry that one enter house. when she refused to be submissive now, he will start quoting ephesians 5:22. But it is also good to have ideas of other things around sha. I think is better they both part ways. If you loved her and stayed with her for 3yrs and could not improve her in any way, then my brother you are not any better. lazy man looking for an already made woman. Everyone is a work in progress.No one is perfect. She does not know now does not mean she will not know later. True Love brings out the best in people.
ReplyDelete9:3 your comment is so stupid..so cos he said she knows a little of eerything that means the lady is a feminist? ignorant mofos like you dont een know what being a feminist is. alot ofus are married with kids sef...all we want is gender equality. stop the myopic tag of men or marriage hating that you assign to feminist because it just shows you dont understand what the word means
DeleteHe should have bounced after the first year. Yeah,yeah,yeah,intelligence, compatibility and all that. But I waited for him to list her strenghths. Supposing she's a smart business owner,supposing she's a wonderful Cook with an online restaurant ,what if she's a fashion designer or consultant . No one is completely empty. He should come down from that high horse. A guy that no longer wants you will say anything to wriggle away.
ReplyDeleteHe is absolutely right. Only small minds talk about people ...great minds talk about ideas. It won't have worked. I put that up on my moniker.
ReplyDeleteI remember a dear friend of mine who told me while in school to be always up to date on things of the world no matter how irrelevant. I make sure I read on everything. Even Natgeo books I read whether I go ever see the animal or the place I go still read. Most of the countries that my bf has travelled to that I'm yet to go but I was able to converse about even places we havent been to yet.( Singapore unfailingly ) and this was when we just met.
I understand him sha but unfortunately we live in a world of smoke and mirrors.
An advice to the BBB fans who had the energy to predict and unpredict ...please start Forex Trading...get paid atleast.
Typical of the Charles I know...full of shit and controversy....
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteAbegi, that's how it is when you get a new mate...
ReplyDeleteEverything will be so fly and It'll be interesting and everyone will try to impress. Give it a year or less... That's when the true story.... Whether the new mate is boring or not will emerge.
If he truly loves her... He'll push her to do the things he listed.
Let this man go and park well somewhere joor
No, he wished she would change but she didn't. Then he found what I assume he had been looking for
DeleteHe moved.
This guy is like my ex, most vision driven men want a smart woman who can hold intelligent conversation and very versatile but unfortunately, genotype issues messed things up for us. Guy man developed high BP o , not funny at all but life happens. Different strokes for different folks. Some men also feel threatened by a learned, versed and smart woman and tag her 'woke' .So go for your spec shikena!
ReplyDeleteI can relate with the man. Guy loves his woman so much. He just wants her to do better.
ReplyDeleteThese his reasons are not enough to quit the relationship. Presidents, Governors senators watch reality shows, there is nothing wrong with it. Why can't him call the girl to order and tell him what he wants of her. I am Manager in my branch but I like reality shows because they enable me to relax and take my mind off the harsh realities of life. Nigeria news and politics we have indulged in over the years , how far has it helped the listening public. The man is not serious abeg.
ReplyDeleteYou don't even understand the man.
DeleteWatching big Brother was not the problem but what else does the babe know. How resourceful is she, what's her vision in life.
lol...you are in the babes category...read all he wrote and did not undestand jack
DeleteLike I tell my teenage sis, you're not ready for any relationship until you have built yourself first. Open your mind,learn something about everything; religion (not only yours), politics, psychology, medicine, sports,your environment, your government. Somebody was asked recently on TV to say the date for democracy day in Nigeria and she didn't know. It's sad o. If you have not built yourself, you're not to be in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteThe guy did not do anything bad. Between now and her next relationship, she will develop herself for her own good. Some men will even ghost her. And she wouldn't know what she did.
You are dumping a girl you dated for three years for a girl you met for two weeks, brother I wish you luck cos you will be needing it. Everyone has their faults d weaknesses, you don't know whether you will be able to condole her shortcomings too. Of you really wanted to help this lady , you might buy her books and encourage her to watch news but you were just using her until the right person comes along. You will regret this Mr man cos most ladies are like this.
ReplyDeleteNowadays... ...
ReplyDeleteHian!
ReplyDeleteAnd it took him 3 whole years to see that she is an airhead? This is the same thing as a woman eating a man's money for years and then deciding the man isn't up to her grade. This man just needed a reason to discharge her and this type of person will still call her up and hope to keep chopping her after marrying his intelligent babe.
ReplyDeleteI can never encourage any woman to be uninteresting and unmotivated but the truth is that some are less intelligent than others. They don't wish to apply themselves but are satisfied attaching themselves to men who like these kind of women as it strokes their ego that she is totally dependent on him. This isn't advisable for a woman but it does happen.
If the boyfriend likes intelligent girls, one month was long enough to conclude she isn't your type, at least 6 months to know this is her type of life and silently pull out of the relationship. This is really harsh and callous. The lady should move on and keep trying to improve herself knowing that a man that loves you will know and accommodate your shortcomings.
There are levels to this thing. Just find what works for you and stick to it. If who you're with isn't up to par, end it early and move. The dude sef na wa, if he was truly sapio, no way that relationship would have lasted that long. Prolly was using her as a placeholder or something.
ReplyDeleteIt's a wake up call for the lady, but then why the guy wait till when the relationship has gone this far before making his intentions known if the lady doesn't improve on herself.
ReplyDeleteThe new chic may not even know how to cook, manage homes, bedmatics, but only stuff her head with reading/book. Something may turn that guy off from that new chic sef.
ReplyDeleteThe Jane shouldnt lose hope and focus but rather work on herself.
As for me,if i were to bebe t Lady here,i will take this as a challenge and break up with him without drama. I will challenge myself to learn new things and also be a better person. I can't date someone that isn't intelligent and can challenge me to scale greater heights at this point of my life. My former boyfriend always pushes me to achieve things that i will ordinarily be scared to do but when he smelled my overambitiousness,he started feeling threatened ,insecured and wanted me to marry while in school but i declined because i knew what that can do to me. My present fiance is sapiosexual,so vast,current has numerous qualifications and experiences so i had no choice than to catch up with him by being current and reading wide. All his exes were way above me in their careers,fields and even age which made me a little insecured when he asked me out. He doesn't push me to do things but act indifferent and sometimes wants to impose his decision on me but i'm too strong-headed for that and when he sense that i'm adamant,he contribute his quota.
ReplyDeleteWow..bitter truth..pls ladies una don hear. Engage yourselves with something meaningful. No be everytime u are in front of a television. Read books atleast.
ReplyDelete🙄
ReplyDeleteAnd he waited a whole three years to know she wasn't of the same intellectual station with him. That's unfair.
For my sisters who want to go and start bingeing on CNN and supersport cos of this, just know that knowledgeable women have also been victims, uncle feels you're too smart and ambitious and moves over to a dumbo (no offence) who doesn't challenge him intellectually, I see this all the time. Something that even made me want to shrink myself to accommodate someone, worst friendship ever. I unsubscribed and moved abeg.
Every door has a key.
Will the Naija girls on this blog learn.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I always tell them here. Big Brothel house isn't where you learn
to run a home, be a wife and mother.
They will always shoot at my 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
So I say to all of you fans and fridges of Big Brothel Housemates,
How market.
Ooops,
don't forget to send in your chronicles. I believe this "Jane" is a blog visitor.
One of my attackers, attackers of God's word.
Thanks Charles for telling Naija girls the sound Truth.
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I've gone through the comments on this post and I sincerely desire to improve myself as a lady, kindly point out things I can read online to brush up my knowledge and other things I can do to improve.Thanks
ReplyDeleteComing on this blog is a good start. If this was when magazines were published, I'd have recommended True Love because they deal with diverse issues.
DeleteWatch good TV programmes like your view on TVC. Look out for books people recommend.
I love your desire and I encourage you.
You can read on politics
DeleteGlobal economy
Life style
Travel
Entertainment news , self development books just a little of everything.
Its just good to be in the know generally. I like how you're willing to make amends .
Good job 👏 👍 👌 I'm proud of you already .
You can start by reading novels. Fiction has a way of teaching a lot and opening up a whole new world. It makes you more curious to learn about things and life in general. All the best, dear.
DeleteIf you have ever been in this guy's shoes, you would understand that it's a relationship bound to fail at some point, nothing beats having need to constantly lower your acuity while conversing with your partner; it's a dry, uninteresting and waste of one's energy. I was once in such, till today I never regret we going our separate ways.
ReplyDeleteStory for the gods. What was it that made him stay with his babe for three good years? He met someone else. Simple.
ReplyDeleteI shake my head at some of his reasons. What if new babe can't cook or clean a home? What if new babe is hyper competitive? What if new babe is disrespectful? Heck, what if for some reason new babe can't have kids, the kids you want their mother to teach?
The guy just wants out of the relationship abeg. When they want out, they start looking for reasons.
I see some BVs saying their husbands dumped ex because they were intelligent, men want women who are intelligent, bla bla bla. Don't have hypertension when you find out that he's cheating on you with who you would call an "air head". The top women in business and other fields who are married, can you swear that their husbands are faithful?
Men cheat or end relationships because they can and want to. Stop blaming the women.
I know intelligent men who are married to women you would call "airheads" and they are not complaining.
Tomorrow,another one will post chat of how he's ending things because babe would rather stay home reading than go partying with him.
Women, be intelligent and well-read for yourself, not because of men.
When it comes to choice of spouse, people have different priorities. For some it could be sex appeal, some intelligence, others- financial worth, status etc.
DeleteI know a doctor who is willing to marry any airhead. Just be fair and have hips plus bum, he will share his intelligence with you.
DeleteI am in that guys position right now. My husband is the male version of the girl in the conversation, No dream, no vision, 10 months and I am tired of the marriage already.
ReplyDeleteWe dated for only 6months, wish o can turn back the hands of time.
My life is so boring
Hmmmm, if you want your marriage to work, start bringing up conversations of how your day went, who said what, did what etc. Encourage him to talk about stuff as well. Try to listen even when it seems boring. Also try to lead him. You could tell him about an idea and ask him what he thinks about it.
DeleteYou have to do this regularly, even when you may be discouraged.
Relationships can be boring.
Marriage can be boring.
No be every time, eat, go out, come back, enter bed, some don't even want to bath or brush they want to fuck.
Another one that annoys me is "have you eaten" and that's their only line of conversation.
What's that set?
Lord know i hate the have you eaten line. There's a million thing to discuss about other than "have you eaten?". Sometimes, dating some ppl is just stressful. I'm hanging on to my current relationship simply because i want to prove to myself that i am not bad or patient enough at dating. I want to quit but at the same time, i might see myself as the problem here or setting the standard too high. Truth is, i dont want to be the only parent who a child has to run to when they have school problems or when they need a lecture on how society works.
DeleteFind your own passion and pursue them. Sometimes you just have to go it alone. Maybe by showing your passion and pursuit of them that may stimulate something in him. Bring home interesting books to read, tell him about them and encourage him to read them, then you will have something to discuss. Watch interesting documentaries and encourage him to watch them with you.
DeleteThis guy was Just being honest.
ReplyDeleteI used same lines on a guy in 2018.
Shallow, minute minded so called graduate. Opens his mouth and says the wrong thing. Sings the lyrics of songs wrongly and meaninglessly.
Only thing he knows is to give head and suck breast.
He took me to his parents (I never knew that was his intentions that day) and introduced me as his bride to be and those ones were all mushy-mushy about their daughter in law to be and how they were coming to my home ASAP bla bla bla.
He had told me his parents were at their village and that his small sister had prepared food for him that's why I followed knowing when we get back home, I'll get head. 😁
I had earlier declined following him to his snr Sisters house- no commitment things.
After that I ignored him.
Then one day after bothering me for too long, I told him almost all what dude over here told the babe and asked him to move on.
Does a woman Live by head and sucking of bress alone? I miss that 😁 but I'll pass.
This guy was Just being honest.
ReplyDeleteI used same lines on a guy in 2018.
Shallow, minute minded so called graduate. Opens his mouth and says the wrong thing. Sings the lyrics of songs wrongly and meaninglessly.
Only thing he knows is to give head and suck breast.
He took me to his parents (I never knew that was his intentions that day) and introduced me as his bride to be and those ones were all mushy-mushy about their daughter in law to be and how they were coming to my home ASAP bla bla bla.
He had told me his parents were at their village and that his small sister had prepared food for him that's why I followed knowing when we get back home, I'll get head. 😁
I had earlier declined following him to his snr Sisters house- no commitment things.
After that I ignored him.
Then one day after bothering me for too long, I told him almost all what dude over here told the babe and asked him to move on.
Does a woman Live by head and sucking of bress alone? I miss that 😁 but I'll pass.
Ladies u can b knowledgeable on everything except football to please one dumbo man how many of them know the latest female panties on board, if u ask them they will claim it makes them effeminate but knowing about football doesn't make ladies masculine rubbish. To hell with futuball I will never understand what is fun in the rubbish game besides people breaking bones.
ReplyDeleteI Love this post. No be Everytime dumb copy and paste yeyebrities quote. Or who is wearing what.
ReplyDeleteAbeg let me drop this quick comment, we that seem to be intellectual, carry book for head, MSC PHD, carry wold politics for head foot ball name it. Guys come around and their excuse is you're too serious, you're not fun, What do you do for fun?, You're boring me. As far as I'm concerned there is no yardstick. The guy is bored and found someone seemingly more interesting. Shebi 2 weeks, after 2 years the story will change. After all when he met his gf, he was smitten, she was smart, she was interesting. This life is funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm kinda in this guy's position. I love my GF no doubt but i expect more from her. Our chats and conversations are very scanty as our preference differs. Sometime, i ask myself if i had made a mistake and lord knows i have changed a lot to accommodate her (can't believe i watched Henry Danger just so we could have discussions on it...I'm not dating a kid as she's in her mid twenties). I don't want to call it quits yet as i have entangled myself so deep it will hurt a lot of ppl if i pull out (don't date your church member pls). Truly, one has to find people they match with.
ReplyDelete😂😂🤣
DeleteI just googled Henry Danger, Nickelodeon???!!!🤣
Okay ooo.
I am one of the biggest Muppets fan. It doesn't mean that I am incapable of discussing complex issues, but The Muppets is a part of my life and will be forever.
DeleteAnon 20:57...you love Muppets too?? Cool! I love cartoons tho and everybody that knows me knows that.
Delete@Amethyst I had a classmate back in medical school who loved cartoons so much. We used to tease her about it. She was extremely intelligent but very naive though. Very loveable character.
DeleteHaving something that holds a relationship other than sex is very important.
ReplyDeleteI remember a scene in Desperate House wives where Katherine came rubbing on Susan's face that Mike had sex with her 5 times in one day.
When Susan asked Mike his explanation surmounted to him and Katherine having nothing else in common other than sex.
Being able to have a conversation about anything (not necessarily being pro at the issues) is very important in relationships.
Nothing guarantees a successful marriage. Even ppl on the same level of everything break up everyday. By all means go after the person that stimulates you on every level, but none of it guarantees a divorce proof marriage. Only the grace of God can divorce proof your marriage, not one thing else on this Earth.
ReplyDeleteplease learn to face matters and stop talking too much...are we discussing what guarantees marriage? the girl doesnt match his intellectual capacity period..nobody says she is bad or wont meet another guy or this will guaranty a marriage..we go discuss one thing una go dey para for another
Deletei think i am sapiosexual and ican totally relate with the guy, but i think he let her stay in his life too long. it will hurt her more and make it diffiult to understand his point as another woman is already in the picture. las las shego dey alright, there is someone somewhere who fits somebody somewhere...lol..she will be somebody's spec someday
DeleteHow come it took this guy 3 years to figure out his spec? As an adult you should know your spec,6months to 1year is more than enough time to know if you want to be with some for the longterm. We all should stop wasting people time. You should know if you a a sapiosexual adult at 23 years Max
ReplyDelete