What are the things to look out for when choosing a spouse to spend your life with?
Some people look for outward beauty...
Some look for inner beauty...
Some look for height..
Some look for wealth
Some look for bedmatics performance...
Some look for cooking skills
What everyone looks for when choosing a spouse is different but what are the right things to look out for?A short man married a tall woman because he didn't want all his kids short but he ended up even taller than his kids..LOL
A woman married hubby for his money and along the line he became broke and she couldn't deal.....
I'd settle for character n wealth... even if you are a 2 minutes guy, so far you can give me belle, no wahala...we go manage it lai dat...kerewa will not make me fresh.
ReplyDeleteConfirm kerewa na bleaching cream.
DeleteYou go over fresh self
Lol @ kerewa will not make me free
DeleteHow did i miss this post.
DeleteNothing beats a kind hearted man....he not only treats you well but treats others too with empathy and kindness. A kind man doesnt like hurting ppl,so he wont purposely hurt his wife. Iv dated some crazy men so i just wanted someone dat will give me peace.
Number 2 a responsible man...someone dat doesnt joke with his work and knows its his duty to take care of his family.
After that looks can come in....
For me,just be responsible and street smart. Cus you need to be street smart to make it in this country.
ReplyDeletesome will say love, some money some may say God fearing.
ReplyDeleteBut I think COMPARABILITY is the most important to look out for.
Did you mean compatibility?
DeleteA na asu! Which one is COMPARABILITY again
DeleteComparabcyrugkegu???
DeleteNutella just leave me alone abeg 🤣🤣🤣
A sensible man look out for character; kindness, patience, self control, selflessness, peaceable personality (not the nagging type). That's the inner beauty that is manifested outwards, and is of great worth.
ReplyDeleteInner beauty all the way.
ReplyDeleteAnyone that is looking out for "bedmatics performance" is a professional adulterer. Marry that person at your own peril!
My own don't marry anyone who keeps malice. It is emotional torture and can drain the partner. Some people will go days, weeks even months just to show that they can ignore you. Very bad! Another one is unforgivness. That one is evil for days. I don't care about pocket size, height or even tribe. Just treat me right. I mean respect and love me. We'll be fine!
ReplyDeleteLucent is very correct. My husband ignored me so much several months/weeks at a time very frequently and i used to think alot now i developed heart disease.... he is very wicked, unforgiving, dictator, haslighting specialist.....i did not know the above before marriage i wish i knew
DeleteThis advice is everything. I wish I took the signs seriously.
DeleteAnon 14:49, I will be cross with you if I see your comment again. You got a heart disease because of a husband??? Please go to God if you need peace and true love when man fails. I don’t know the events that led to your marriage but you need to be wise, love yourself first and get a business or job, be financially independent and love yourself enough to be alone when he is unavailable. God loves you.
DeleteAngel eyes 😊
Look for someone who fears God, has a forgiving heart and can tolerate you, look for someone who is loyal and above all look for someone who treat others he or she can't gain anything from very well. Even though the physical appearance is what attracts but at the long run that isn't what you will stay with. Please it is also very important that the person is ambitious and has something doing or a good prospect to do something because you see this love ee hunger kills it.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteA romantic lover, a support system, that kinda guy that looks out for not just me but my family,a guy who isn't on instagram😂 a focused guy. Trust me he is out there...🤪
@The lifted
Delete"Look out for your family?" See liquidators. So the man will come and marry you, your mom, your dad and your brothers and sisters.
And what will your brother's be doing? Be realistic but not greedy!
Self respect.
ReplyDeleteA man that owes without conscience.
ReplyDeleteA man that knows how to borrow sweetly and picks offence when you demand for your money... not just you o, even with outsiders.
A man that puts eyes on people’s things.
A man that doesn’t like discussing issues unless it’s to his favour.
A man that can keep malice for Africa.
I divorced mine because of debt and malice keeping.
I can’t suffer for a man to be pulling me down always.
Just a year away from him, I know what I have gathered.
I know those types. A man that will finish begging and borrowing from everyone around you without your knowledge. You will be walking and feeling fly on the road not knowing that everyone don see you finish.
DeleteWorst is the one that will lie that you are sick and then the creditor sees you on the road very hale and hearty
@Marvel, are you talking about my husband? Do you know him? This is my husband you just described. I don talk I don tire. The man just dey embarrass me up and down. God just help me oh
DeleteJust look out for a God fearing man..a man that loves u,then u are good to go.
ReplyDeleteHe must be:
ReplyDelete*God-fearing and honest
*Caring
*Neat ( I can't be tidying up the house and he will be littering it just because he is a man)
*He should be able to help me with the kids ( na we born them together)
*Intelligent ( someone I can always sort for intellectual advise)
*Tall ( because I am of the average height)
*Have a good sense of humor ( someone that can always make me smile when I think of even at his silliest jokes)
*Even if he is not a good cook he should be able to help out with little ( he should be able to boil rice and make swallow)
*He should lovee with everything he has ( including money) because I will do same
*Above all he should meet my sexual needs gbas gbos ( that one is importanter)
You just described my husband, though he's of average height.
DeleteGood luck Dear, good men exist.
.... Wahala for who take that thing called Adivincci or whatever they call the incompetent rat. Stupidity will forever be embedded in them.
ReplyDeleteI was looking for a mature dark girl, same age with me or a year older, with good character especially respect/truthfulness, and from my side of the country. I met this girl, who fits the bill in everywhere and more. But there was just one problem. On her birthday, I was alone with her and asked for her age. She told me she was 4 years younger than me. I was shocked. She looked older than her age. When I met her friend in secondary school and during a discussion, she mentioned some event and the time it happened. I noticed that my friend was unsettled. Alone, I asked her again, and it was same. Meaning she finished high school at 14? We eventually drifted apart. Years later, I was happily married to a lady same age with me. I was in a conference outside the country and saw a profile (same name, same picture but different age -a year older than mine). When we met and began chatting, she was still single, a decade after. I asked her why she lied to me about her age. She said she was afraid I will not marry her if I found out that she was older than me. I felt really sad. I showed her my wife's social media page and her age stated there. She wept.
ReplyDeleteBut you could have just married her na if that was her only offence. I believe with time, she would have come clean.
DeleteDear Anon, if you were the man for her, you would have forgave her for lying and still gone ahead or do you want to tell us that your wife never lied about anything to you or has any shortcoming? I really dislike it when people sound like you do. Enjoy your marriage and if you ever loved her, pray genuinely for her that God will settle her maritally in her own time.
DeleteOgbeni, you lost interest in her, period. If you loved her, you would have overlooked that.
Deletein hindsight for me...what are his belief systems in the areas of spirituality, family life, money, sex, relationship with family etc...these things will guide you to know if you can cope or kuku japa. i wanted a guy who dresses well and fine and God he gae me tall dark and handsome..ladies dont be quick to start haing sex with a guy...build friendship first and get to really know each other before your senses get clouded with sex. experience will teach you that physical attributes do nothing to hold a relationship in the long term but it is the character of a person that sustains..
ReplyDeleteLove, God fearing,good sex, good hygiene.
ReplyDelete@Paprika
DeleteDid you read before posting?
So you want a god-fearing man who will fornicate with you before marrying you?
Which god do you want him to fear -Sango, Satan or Belzebub?
Hardworking
ReplyDeleteResourceful
Versatile
Humane
Humble
Kind
Helpful
Attentive
Loving
Strong
Finally 6’5 and wealthy (not rich) WEALTHY 🥰😁
Thank you Momma👌👌 I add God fearing to this list mbok
DeleteHope my lil nephew is doing great? xx
Gbam
DeleteEnchantress, do you have all dis urself?
DeleteI am just asking ni o.
I no be man o.
That your list no complete. The man should be generous above all. I know a very stingy man who has all the qualities you listed but will never part with a dime.
DeleteTraits like self-love, respect, and value for relationships.
ReplyDeleteSomeone that loves and respects his/herself will love and respect you effortlessly. Do they have long-standing relationships with friends, certain relatives, or they are the type that after a minor rift, they pull away and the relationship dies? People that value relationships usually can mend fences easily, let go and forgive, keep their relationship regardless of who is right or wrong. Forgiveness is a powerful glue that keeps marriage. Runaway from professional malice keepers and those that nurse grudges all their lives.
Look out for traits of baggage carrying and the likes. You can only enjoy a man or woman that's been wholly healed of past hurt.
Marry someone that can give and receive love easily. If they are still bleeding from hurtful life experiences, they will not be able to receive love.
Also, go for someone that allows you to be you and chase your dreams.
A man or woman that is interested in your dreams and dedicate their time, money, and commitment to ensure your dreams come true. Finally, marry your class. This is particularly for the ladies, so many women shrink after marriage because they have to hide or suppress their intellect, because of the bushman they married. Yes, people can be educated with a wack mentality. I have seen Ph.D. holders with a twisted mindset that enslaved a woman.
Go for someone that will make you flourish in your calling and career.
Marriage is just a part of life, it's not the essence of life. If you are fulfilled in what you enjoying doing, no matter how insignificant it is, the fragrance of joy from self-fulfillment will flow into your marriage. And, we should be all these things above to our partners.
Traits like self-love, respect, and value for relationships.
ReplyDeleteSomeone that loves and respects his/herself will love and respect you effortlessly. Do they have long-standing relationships with friends, certain relatives, or they are the type that after a minor rift, they pull away and the relationship dies? People that value relationships usually can mend fences easily, let go and forgive, keep their relationship regardless of who is right or wrong. Forgiveness is a powerful glue that keeps marriage. Runaway from professional malice keepers and those that nurse grudges all their lives.
Look out for traits of baggage carrying and the likes. You can only enjoy a man or woman that's been wholly healed of past hurt.
Marry someone that can give and receive love easily. If they are still bleeding from hurtful life experiences, they will not be able to receive love.
Also, go for someone that allows you to be you and chase your dreams.
A man or woman that is interested in your dreams and dedicate their time, money, and commitment to ensure your dreams come true. Finally, marry your class. This is particularly for the ladies, so many women shrink after marriage because they have to hide or suppress their intellect, because of the bushman they married. Yes, people can be educated with a wack mentality. I have seen Ph.D. holders with a twisted mindset that enslaved a woman.
Go for someone that will make you flourish in your calling and career.
Marriage is just a part of life, it's not the essence of life. If you are fulfilled in what you enjoying doing, no matter how insignificant it is, the fragrance of joy from self-fulfillment will flow into your marriage. And, we should be all these things above to our partners.
Thanks for your contribution!
DeleteGod bless with a man like you described here!
We all deserve a man that can respect himself and channel the same respect to us!!
Top of the list is her deen (how religious she is)
ReplyDeleteHer knowledge
Then her character
Would she give you peace of mind?
Then her family. Is she from a good family or nah
Then if he is a man, does he have a job and can take care of you?
I thought you're an okada rider? Na dat one you wan use raise family?
DeleteShooter, does okada riders not have a right to raise a family in their own capacity?
DeleteA man with self discipline(in all areas), logical in his reasoning, hardworking, considerate, who we can complement each other, honest ,humble, loving and playful like me, who has same belief system with me, focused, neat and above all who fears and love God. Physical attributes: will prefer an average height and dark complexion. Speaking for myself please, I'm not into short and fair men. What works for one might not work for another.
ReplyDeleteeverybody has mentioned great qualities but me, I cant stay with anybody who is comfortable with silence/malice. I can stay away from people but silent treatment, poor communication, keeping malice? omo you fit wake up one day, you no go see wife, you no go see children. since you love your space so much
ReplyDeleteHe must love and fear God.
ReplyDeleteHumble
Honest
Hardworking
Intelligent
Must be comfortable (financially)
Not a mummy's boy
Good in bed.
Anon 13:59... if in your mind the only way to look out for someone is to give them handouts free cash or what ever you have in mind then obviously we no dey the same radar. see your mouth like liquidator.
ReplyDeleteMind you I have only one brother ,my parents first fruit,and he doesnt need any sponsor, he has done a great job of being a father figure since my father passed. So continue in your dreamland of shaming whoever you feel like.
A PRACTICING christian
ReplyDeleteA selfless person
Please do not be a nag
Not a freak. Let's put the thing we're it's supposed to be put and not trying to explore every hole and licking organ in my body.
Someone who is industrious and can provide
Not a chronic debtor
A man that has respect for women
An intelligent person that can hold a good conversation
Someone that pushes you to be better
Very important, should know some small basic etiquettes....Biko don't eat with mouth open and somebody's child will just be hearing the irritating sound. If I ask you to not walk on the road and be scratching your bom bom and armpit,will that be me asking for too much?
Try not to be a long throat mbok at occasions when you see food.
Las las,I am not perfect so I might do some adjustments on this my long list
My deal breakers include:
ReplyDeletePhysical or emotional abuse
Anger or quick temper
Womanizer/uncontrollable lust
Wickedness (to me or others)
Laziness (no job, no purpose, no vision)
Disregard and disrespect of me or women
Addiction (alcoholism or drugs)
Can't communicate or have a conversation
What I want and pray for
God fearing, hardworking & Goal driven, kindness, affectionate. Attractive. And finally, just have sense.
Don't marry a chronic mastubator, you can never satisfy them sexually until they touch themselves, which can be frustrating for their partners.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm
DeleteNothing dey list but when i see the person, i'll definitely know.
ReplyDeleteIt's all in a million little things.
Responsible
ReplyDeleteSensible
Attentive
Resourceful
Someone that has mad love for me.
ReplyDeleteSomeone that's mentally very mature and understanding.
Someone that will not stress me or ruine me.
Someone that i can stay with even if we go broke and become pennyless and still be head over sneakers in love with, (Don't get it twisted oo, I'm marring a wealthy man that will take proper care of me and my kids💅)
Someone that will understand me.
Someone that isn't into loudness, too much friends and noise.
Someone that will have a great taste in music.
Someone that will be my ride till infinity,Person wey i fit die for.
He must be good looking and very neat too.
He musn't be cheap oo, LOL.
Choose someone whose voice you love listening to, this is the first voice you will hear in the morning and last at night.
ReplyDeleteChoose someone whose natural scent you like. If you do not like the way their sweat smells you are going to hate everything about them in marriage.
Hmmm .. this one is deep 🤔
Delete