Hmmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BEYOND CONFUSED
Good DAY Stella,
Please help me with this Chronicle.
I have always had the dream to make something out of myself from a very young age. After varsity in 2012 and I came back to Nigeria, I spent the most of my 20's trying so hard to build my companies/businesses (which didn't work) before i eventually got a job in 2018. I am extremely hard working and I have always had a vision of living a fulfilling life. My parents have done very well in investing in me and I thank God for them every day.
I am the first child, 30 years old, most of my other siblings are in different countries working on their future. I got a chance earlier this year and moved to the US, because I visit constantly with family, and we already have family in a few states in the US, so it was easier to stay with an aunt and start my life from there.
As God would have it, I got a good job a week after i arrived the US towards the end of February, because of contacts I had made in the past during trips with family. Of Course I don't have my papers as all I had was a tourist visa expiring towards the end of the year, was just doing all I could gathering information anytime I got the chance to travel. I had gotten a nursing degree during one of my trips in the past, so I also worked on weekends at hospitals, especially during the peak of the Corona pandemic, they paid us a lot and I thank God He protected me.
I was always working almost everyday and I was happy I was making some money, I felt confident at least I could take care of myself unlike in Nigeria were I was in an executive position in a company and they were owing salary till I left.
A family member introduced me to a young man in Mexico (a country very close to US like Nig and Ghana), and we started chatting and video calling mostly at night because I'm usually working. He has his papers in Mexico but not to the level of complete freedom or citizenship level, and He cannot leave the country till he gets his papers which is next year.
Therefore meaning I have to be the one to visit since my Visa was still valid, but the problem is my visa expires in October, and if I travel out of the US close to that time I can't go back till I renew my visa, which I cannot renew except I go back to Nigeria since that is my passport. He had proposed and all , by June and our families had the Intro done in Nigeria.
The point is this, I had to leave my satisfying life in the US to move to Mexico and since I got here I can't help but think that I have made a mistake. Firstly I do not like this country cha cha, it's like Nigeria, all messed up and disorganised, only difference is that the economy is slightly better and Nigerians here have free hand to hustle unlike in the US that one must follow their structure and cannot manoeuvre the government.
The no English speaking is a mess, they only understand and speak Spanish, I have to be using google translate to communicate. I feel hopeless and don't know what to do. I am not doing anything at the moment and the only thing one can start with is teaching English to Mexicans. I feel I messed up honestly, I wake up every day depressed.
When I was in the US , I was working well at least for a start, my boss even gave me a car to ease my movement, and offered to increase my salary so I could stay, Also working in a civilised country gives one a logical sign of hope
My fiance mentioned moving to Canada as soon as he gets his papers since I don't like it here, but that's next year, for now I don't know what to do with myself. I need someone to advise me please so I don't fall into depression. I wake up and sleep all day, I have started putting things together to start an english teaching school but my whole body and soul wants out of this place.
I am newly pregnant and always falling ill all through out the day, No friends, no happiness. I forgot to mention we had a bride price formality done a few weeks after I got here. It was done in Nigeria, just a small meeting with our families meeting and paying of bride price, so at least I am somewhat legal. Now I am doubting if I even loved my husband in the first place or I did what I did just to make my parents especially my mom happy.
A family member introduced me to a young man in Mexico (a country very close to US like Nig and Ghana), and we started chatting and video calling mostly at night because I'm usually working. He has his papers in Mexico but not to the level of complete freedom or citizenship level, and He cannot leave the country till he gets his papers which is next year.
Therefore meaning I have to be the one to visit since my Visa was still valid, but the problem is my visa expires in October, and if I travel out of the US close to that time I can't go back till I renew my visa, which I cannot renew except I go back to Nigeria since that is my passport. He had proposed and all , by June and our families had the Intro done in Nigeria.
The point is this, I had to leave my satisfying life in the US to move to Mexico and since I got here I can't help but think that I have made a mistake. Firstly I do not like this country cha cha, it's like Nigeria, all messed up and disorganised, only difference is that the economy is slightly better and Nigerians here have free hand to hustle unlike in the US that one must follow their structure and cannot manoeuvre the government.
The no English speaking is a mess, they only understand and speak Spanish, I have to be using google translate to communicate. I feel hopeless and don't know what to do. I am not doing anything at the moment and the only thing one can start with is teaching English to Mexicans. I feel I messed up honestly, I wake up every day depressed.
When I was in the US , I was working well at least for a start, my boss even gave me a car to ease my movement, and offered to increase my salary so I could stay, Also working in a civilised country gives one a logical sign of hope
My fiance mentioned moving to Canada as soon as he gets his papers since I don't like it here, but that's next year, for now I don't know what to do with myself. I need someone to advise me please so I don't fall into depression. I wake up and sleep all day, I have started putting things together to start an english teaching school but my whole body and soul wants out of this place.
I am newly pregnant and always falling ill all through out the day, No friends, no happiness. I forgot to mention we had a bride price formality done a few weeks after I got here. It was done in Nigeria, just a small meeting with our families meeting and paying of bride price, so at least I am somewhat legal. Now I am doubting if I even loved my husband in the first place or I did what I did just to make my parents especially my mom happy.
It all seemed like Gods plan because with a US valid visa, you don't need a visa to Mexico, and I felt I had to move fast because my visa would expire soon and I won't be able to leave the US until i got my papers which could take as much as 5 years or more.
I am losing it Stella, every day I am losing it. Going back to Nigeria is the only option because I cannot go back to the US from here since my Visa is close to expiration. It seems all my effort to move for a better life became something else, because that was my intention when I left earlier this year, to stay and start working on my papers and a new future.
I am losing it Stella, every day I am losing it. Going back to Nigeria is the only option because I cannot go back to the US from here since my Visa is close to expiration. It seems all my effort to move for a better life became something else, because that was my intention when I left earlier this year, to stay and start working on my papers and a new future.
My mom has been so supportive, trying to encourage me and asking me to be patient till when the papers are out so we can move but I don't know anymore.
I won't lie, mexico papers had it's own benefits that people don't know of, but the question is how do I stay in a place I don't like, what will I be doing? The inner feeling of complete dissatisfaction, what do I do? Plus I'm always sick, even conversing with the doctors is a mess because they don't understand English, you say one, they do another. The Nigerian community here is the worse I have ever experienced. I have family here too, but I don't want to go that route.
Please advise me, I understand it is a long read, but please help me. I am losing my mind, I am telling you. I don't sleep well anymore. I have a Business degree, a Law degree and a medical degree, none of which is useful here. Please remember I am pregnant as you kindly advise me. Thank You.
Oh dear,this is so messed up....
I won't lie, mexico papers had it's own benefits that people don't know of, but the question is how do I stay in a place I don't like, what will I be doing? The inner feeling of complete dissatisfaction, what do I do? Plus I'm always sick, even conversing with the doctors is a mess because they don't understand English, you say one, they do another. The Nigerian community here is the worse I have ever experienced. I have family here too, but I don't want to go that route.
Please advise me, I understand it is a long read, but please help me. I am losing my mind, I am telling you. I don't sleep well anymore. I have a Business degree, a Law degree and a medical degree, none of which is useful here. Please remember I am pregnant as you kindly advise me. Thank You.
Oh dear,this is so messed up....
Why dont you go back to Nigeria to get another Visa to the US?I wont even advice you to have your baby in a country where you cannot communicate with the Doctors well....Please consider going back to Nigeria and then get another visa and go back to the US.....It is obvious you were not in love but acted out of desperation.....I wish you the best my dear....
CHAI!!!
This is a messed up situation.
ReplyDeleteAnd u re pregnant already
Infact just do as Stella said
The Lord is your strength
Dear poster. All these “degrees” you are mentioning are certificate courses. Nobody gets a “nursing degree” during a foreign trip to the US. It takes years of blood and tears here Nne. You obviously didn’t plan it well but it’s not as bad as you think.
DeleteMexico is t too bad. Start the school and continue to expand your network, not necessarily of Nigerians. You were working with “dagbo” papers in the US, and living rent free, it’s not easy like that here o. It’s when you pay your own rent and bills that you will understand.
Since you have already made the decision to move to Mexico, why not make the most of it, you never know. It may actually be God’s plan for you. Good luck with every. Positive thoughts only!!
Karen
Poster say in mexico oo, reapplying for a us visa na another wahala dem no go tell u dat one. Plan with ur husband for Canada relax and take care of yourself and baby, ask God for direction, dnt allow impatience spoil things
DeleteThe only problem you have in all this story is that you DON'T love the person you married!
DeleteIf you loved that man, all these akuko mike ejeagha won't be a problem at all! You will even be happy with him inside rat hole.
You married him to please people! Why? This is the biggest reason why many marriages in our generation are crashing!
You have equally gotten what you wanted yourself (pregnancy).
My advice:
Since your visa will expire this year, make plans and come back home. Once you are back, start applying for Canada from Nigeria. Maybe get a visiting Canadian Visa and go and birth there, Start a program that will give you student visa and opportunity to work there, birth your baby there and start life till your husband is eligible to join you guys (distance will also give you time to figure out if you still want him or want to divorce).
When you get your residency in Canada, you can start planning back for USA if you still want to or remain in Canada.
If that visa expires, plus how you feel now; you will be ruining future chances of happiness and getting visas to other beautiful places for yourself.
Also know that if that man discovers you don't love him that much and your visa expires, sorry will become your name. You will be living at his MERCY!
Act FAST! All the best!
"Had i know" is always the words of a fool.Regrets won't change anything my dear.Don't give yourself Hbp in your condition oh.Why not be patient and see how things work.What if your plans and ideas are less than what God has in store for you.It is not like your husband is visionless or lazy.He has plans too.
Deletewhy not consider Canada that your hubby is suggesting.Start the teaching job for now, and just focus on your pregnancy till baby comes.
This year 2020,being alive and healthy is an achievement oh.See influential,successful and rich people that have died this year alone.Na wah oh.You can afford to eat 3 times,you have roof over your head.You are not in a sick bed.Be grateful and let God lead you.
See the good in your hubby, be positive and grateful. Honestly so many rich/ wealthy people died this year. Relax and try make friends with those that can speak English, may be they can help you. Look for the good in that place. Don't hate that man, love him, love him and love him. Be patient and don't do anything that would harm your baby o. Good luck
DeleteThank you at anon 16:23... I was like what medical degree could she have possibly acquired just like that. During the pandemic they just wanted anybody my dear , home health aides were asked to work even as nursing assistant, I am not a nurse but I was taught most of the nurses duties and worked my ass off, someone is also using my docs probably what they did for her.
Delete@ poster life in America is not as easy as you thinking though way better than Nigeria if you are trying to hustle but life in Nigeria for me is fulfilling. Why not use the money u for during COVID to start up something in Nigeria for now, renew your visa then you and your husband wil carefully plan how you ll get in here and will remain till you get your papers while hustling it out. It’s when you are out of status in America you’ll realize there is nothing like family. Please plan well and stoooooppppp been desperate and acting like oil and gas ... that is why you put yourself in this mess in the first place Especially with the whole marriage stuff, don’t forget “ it’s not by might”
16:53, you nailed it. Gbam
Deletemake do with mexico, try to love who you married, relax for baby's sake..canada sounds like a great idea to me...those degrees must have been gotten from naija, my friend just had to pass Massachusetts board with naija nursing degree after few months of a welcome back nursing program. weytin I sabi sef
DeleteAll of you asking her to come back are plain evillll
Delete@Shooter gyal , please how are we evil... because we asked her her to return to Nigeria to reapply. If I were her I would buy my time by going to reapply then come in from time to time to work for like 3-4 months to work , return to Nigeria while trying for Canada and also making proper plans for America which ever runs better instead of her returning to America now with pregnancy , squatting with family that will start complaining of her wasting their water or using too much electricity and eventually throw her out with no where to go. It would have been a different ballgame if she wasn’t pregnant as that has TOTALLY changed the whole thing .
DeletePART 1. Madam, please calm down. First and foremost, something made you choose to marry and leave for Mexico. You cannot eat your cake and still have it. You choose to become a married woman, you have probably stayed for a while in the USA and didn’t find an eligible man. Someone then did the introduction for you and you agreed for the Mexican based guy. Listen, marriage is not child’s play, it is serious business. You have always known they do not speak English in Mexico. You know Mexicans in their thousands try to cross the boarder or jump that Trump fence. You have a business, law and medical degree or certification. So I take it you are smart and understand what is happening in the world. You know how Trump has been hard on immigrants since he got in. You know about ICE in USA. Knowing all these, you choose to still leave the States, leave your job and marry your husband. Something attracted you to your husband. You knew his papers were not solid yet, he never lied to you in that regard. You also knew your own visa was nearing its end, still you chose to go ahead. My dear, marriage is honourable and those in it, the ones who are sincere will tell you it is not so rosy all the time.
DeletePART 2.Please sit down in Mexico and take care of yourself until baby arrives. Do not listen to anyone saying the doctors don’t speak English. Nigerian women are all over the world in non-English-speaking countries and they all give birth too. Pregnancy and delivery is the same process for every women all over the world. The ones in English speaking countries do not give birth through their hands. Your husband is not silly, he has a plan. You must have admired something in him to have married him and moved to join him. Why not support him. Pray for and with him. Discuss your future plans with him and see the countries you all can relocate to after his papers and baby has arrived. See if you will be better of traveling to Nigeria after baby is born to get another visa. Your options are limitless but do it in agreement with your husband. That is marriage for you. Instead of seeing the glass as half empty, see it as full. Stop complaining about where you decided to live and where your husband is. Take time to learn something new, Spanish, a new hobby, anything. Netflix is there too so is SDK. Pray to God for grace and be a support to your husband. Do not nag and equally make him regret marrying you.
DeleteMake plans together as a couple, most newly weds will tell you it is not easy in the first few years. Weather the storm with him. There is a period to sow and a period to reap. REMAIN WITH YOUR HUSBAND!
God bless you Anon and grant you more wisdom.
DeleteChai Erica bbn, I forgive you.
ReplyDeletePoster move back to Nigeria.
Poster be kind to yourself and calm all the way down. Please. This is pregnancy hormones screaming. Trust me, your situation is not 10% as bad as it is magnified in your mind because sweetheart, you are pregnant. Nne, are you Catholic? I would recommend the rosary not even for the spiritual effect but because it is therapeutic. Do a litany of beautiful things happening in your life now that you are thankful about. Don't worry. All will be fine. Allow your husband love and care for you especially at this delicate time. It's ok to allow him attend your appointments with you till delivery cos I am sure his Spanish is good. After wards you will be able to take a healthy and better decision. Accept love, help and care. God be with you dearie.
DeleteWelcome to Naija.. that's my advice for you sister.. come home and reapply .. yes ..take it slow on you..
ReplyDeleteBut her visa hasn’t expired na, she can go back into the US and at least have her baby there, but poster why didn’t you ask bvs before you rushed into this marriage and even got pregnant, go back to the US and have your baby and start working afterwards, when your fiancée abi husband moves to Canada then you can join him, if you come back to Nigeria you may fall deeper into depression.
DeleteShe can't go to USA with a visa expiring this month. My friend tried it, she got to the USA and was bounced back at the airport.
DeleteAnon 20:27 Your friend did not tell you the real reason she was bounced. You can enter with 2 even visa that would expire in 2 weeks as long as your passport is still valid beyond that period and you leave before the exit date that will be stamped on your passport at the point of entry.
DeleteChai,
ReplyDeletevery complicated issues you have up here. It is well with you and may God see you through. I think you should follow Stella's advise. Coming to Nigeria will be a better option. You can re-strategize from here. Your present state of mind is not good for a pregnant woman, please take things easy dear. God be with you.
May God not let me make decisions that will cost me in life. Poster, you were to fast to get married to this guy and also moving to be with him considering the circumstances. May God guide you on your next decision.
ReplyDelete👌👌👌
DeleteQuite empathize with your plight.
ReplyDelete"Bride price was paid"You are married to this man. he is your husband and not
"fiance"
From now on, do your best to do the legal thing; go back to Nigeria (with the consent of your husband) and get the right papers
to where you want to be. Or better still, get your mexican papers since you are married to a Mexican and
work out other things from there.
One thing I noticed in your story is that you talked about "God" a lot. But you were neck deep in illegality; working without papers in a foreign country. Most times, Nigerians do not
consider this a sin. It is a sin, a crime, a disobedience to authorities.
A lie will likely emanate from this when you apply for American
visa, more especially one that will warrant citizenship. They will ask if
you have worked in the US before without papers, what will you answer?
Please, as Christians, when we come to God to help us, we have to come with clean hands.
I also perceive that you didn't court properly, plan properly before you married this man. Put that aside and learn as much as you can to help you
make the best of you marriage. The child in your womb should be the
paramount person now.
All the best.
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Georgina, abi Georginus.
DeleteFrom "One thing I noticed...." till the end is utterly useless.
Delete@15:48
DeleteSo where is the judgment, or are you referring to this same comment above?
@Shooter
DeleteAnd from "one thing I noticed and above it...?"
Even the last word "all the best" is "useless?"
Of course, you must shoot (at God's Word).
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
The "all the best" is useless because you have looked down your nose and judged her a sinner who is only hell worthy because she sort greener pastures for herself. It was not God's words at all because it's difficult to hear love tone in your comments. No Love, No God.
Delete@Saphire
DeleteThe word "hell" appeared only in your comment not mine. Search well.
I corrected her, not judge her.
Seeking for (past tense - "sought") greener pastures does not mean disobeying
the laws of the land, does it? If she wasn't chanting "God, God," I won't have
bothered at all. See 1 Cor. 5:12 and understand why, even if it was judgment like
you insinuated.😘😘😘😘
Anon @ 15:25 great advise but I don’t think she should leave her husband during this period. It’s obvious from her write up that the man is not treating her bad at all. She should persevere and endure. There are great resorts in Mexico where she can actually make good friends and find a small job if she is bored. I think she should stay in Mexico and see the good in everything.
DeleteI have a question? You Nigerian women living abroad, is it a must you marry Nigerians or black men? Most Nigerian men don't have this problem you are facing because many quickly begin to taste white women as they feel our women are inferior to them.
ReplyDeleteI'll advice you not to move to Mexico. It's as corrupt as Nigeria and places like Sinaloa are havens for the worst types of criminals and psychopaths.
Black women should widen their Horizon. I'm sure if you ask God he'll let one or two eligible Americans cross your path.
But you are the very ones that foremost believe that you are inferior to the white women.
DeleteYou copy everything abroad and see them as validation and moral standard, don't you?
For e.g. the hair attachments, fake human hairs and dead (white) people's hair you all wear,
means what, is it not to be like them?
When you wear inferiority, do not complain when others treat you as inferior.
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Haba! A married and pregnant woman you are praying who should cross her path? You didn't read the chronicle.
DeleteA lot of them fear to or think they will disappoint their family. Afterall I heard an aunt say anyone that marries Oyinbo is a lost child. The way I yimued her in my mind ehn but some other girl would swallow it and be looking for a Nigerian by all means while she is abroad o.
DeleteIt is different when you don't like them or can't stand their ways e.g the person might take his bath about 3x a week but if you don't mind or better still you see someone that takes his bath everyday, grounded and he is showing interest, give it a try.
Although some have the mindset of they are protecting their lineage. Just remember that after stressing yourself to marry a Nigerian and you have kids in the abroad and still stay there for 15 - 20 years or more, the chances of the kids marrying Oyinbo are high.
Some reasons are valid but the reality and truth is as long as you don't want to go back to the Nigerian climate that makes it difficult to have a life worth living, it really is not making sense if you don't widen your prospects to include Oyinbo.
she is already in Mexico or you no read the thing well??
DeleteFirst,pregnancy can make you feel like you have messed up your whole youth😁😂
ReplyDeleteSecondly,its all up to you to search yourself and pick your truth, DO YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND?why do you think you made a mistake getting married?where do you see yourself in 3/5years?,its your leg in the shoes ma'am,you know best what decision to make!
I'm sorry to ask this but girl what were you thinking?
ReplyDeleteThe best you can do is make the most of your current situation. The husband you married and are pregnant for, try to work with him. Since he said he can work on Canada next year and it's currently october (!!), why are you being impatient? If I were you, solidify the canadian plans and go have your baby in Lagos. Your marriage can continue in Canada. Another option is to have the baby in Mexico using a trusted person as translator. It's not a big deal, if you were a company CEO and went to China for an important meeting and fell sick, won't you use translator in a hospital?
Stop overcomplicating things. All your complaints about Mexico are things anyone should know without moving there. So you knew these things and chose to take that step. Forget about the job and car matter in the US, that's in your past. Also, being illegal in the US would have backfired at some point, all those bosses and friends will start demanding sex from you and before you know it, your life will be messed up.
The best thing you can do for yourself and your child right now is to sit up, be mature and face your reality. Plan the Canada move well and may God bring all your plans to fruition. Safe delivery.
You sounded harsh but made a lot of sense.
DeleteYou should take this advice
DeletePlease take this advice. You don't love your husband. Try Poster and love him.
DeleteWell said busybee
DeleteI know you maybe feeling hopeless. However please be patient and discuss with your husband. Any decision you make is going to affect both of you. You can also spend time praying so that you make the right decision. If you come back home, remember that reapplication for Visa is harder than it used to be. Carefully spend time praying and talk to you husband.
ReplyDeleteI'm just annoyed to comment after reading. I wish you luck
ReplyDeleteCome back to Nigeria and re-strategize ... this is quite complicated though... #sigh#
ReplyDeleteTalking from experience, mine was that I was pregnant and lost both parents. I feel you should be patient and everything will fall in place. I gave myself 5years. At first I was depressed and wanted my bride price returned but when I listened to my husband’s vision, I decided to be patient with him and gave him 5 years to fix things. I also went to God in prayers too. Just be patient with your husband and trust his plans too. Also remember to pray for him too and you will be fine. 😘
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWomen who do us this kind thing. You just heard marriage from a man you have not completely know about his self and surroundings. Phew!! You lost all sense of reasoning. Now, you are even saying you don't think you even love him enough. This is why marriage crumbles in a blink, people always being in a hurry to get hitched. See all you are seeing now, the euphoria has cleared from your eyes and the honey moon period is over, now you are faced with the marriage you were eagerly looking for please don't run just go back to your drawing board and starts the cleansing from where you were supposed to start from. Start with dating your husband because you never did and work other things from there.
ReplyDeleteWomen who do us this kind thing. You just heard marriage from a man you have not completely know about his self and surroundings. Phew!! You lost all sense of reasoning. Now, you are even saying you don't think you even love him enough. This is why marriage crumbles in a blink, people always being in a hurry to get hitched. See all you are seeing now, the euphoria has cleared from your eyes and the honey moon period is over, now you are faced with the marriage you were eagerly looking for please don't run just go back to your drawing board and starts the cleansing from where you were supposed to start from. Start with dating your husband because you never did and work other things from there.
She didn't ask you to judge. If you don't have a reasonable advise for her then run along!
DeleteStart dating your husband
DeleteNice advice
Relax, na belle hormones
Mary you judged her as if you're better. smh
DeleteI can't leave such opportunities in America to marry a man. I wish I had the opportunity you have in America. I would work and get my money. I don't know why you all feel you must marry Nigerian. You followed your mom's instructions not minding what you really want for yourself.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your predicament poster 🤗
ReplyDeleteWhy are you everywhere? Are you the poster? But but, you no go school nah. You can't own those degrees. Or is it you? Maybe pouring pregnancy hormones everywhere since this year and we were following you to talk? It better not!
DeleteSimply put, ogbeni goan rest let poster respond!
I can't find my comment oo. Hehehe okay!
DeleteHahaha😂,anon 17,02 you are damn funny omg
DeleteLily the dog, be laughing at your stupidity like a hyena. Dingbat!
DeletePoster, be calm... Take a deep breathe, tell yourself everything is going to be alright. In my opinion, it is pregnancy hormones that is messing you up. You are not in a bad state as your mind is playing you up to believe... All will end for you in praise. Amen
ReplyDeleteWho moves from US to mexico only because of marriage. When mexicans sneek into US elligally. Couldnt u have found a husband in US. This is what happens when u r desperste to get married.
ReplyDeleteLearn how to spell properly before judging. So someone can't make a mistake again?
DeleteIt won’t be easy for you getting US visa from Lagos. So don’t go that route. Have your baby in Mex and plan properly with your husband the canada route. That’s your best bet at this stage. You will end up loving canada more that US. Just take this period as a learning process. Good luck
ReplyDeleteDon't come back to Lagos oooo. Hmmmm . It won't be easy to get US visa, because you overstayed . Plan with your husband please. Patience please . Get a translator. It is well with you
DeleteGod bless you
DeleteIt won’t be easy for you getting US visa from Lagos. So don’t go that route. Have your baby in Mex and plan properly with your husband the canada route. That’s your best bet at this stage. You will end up loving canada more that US. Just take this period as a learning process. Good luck
ReplyDeleteDear poster it is well
ReplyDeleteConcentrate on your pregnancy and I wish you safe delivery.Next year is around the corner so look forward to relocating to Canada.Life isn’t a bed of roses,we alws have to make sacrifices in marriage.Pls take things easy before you develop high BP over situation you don’t have power over
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I want to address the fact that you feel depressed. Pregnancy makes you overthink sometimes. I know you feel like you've made a mistake but I want to assure you that God's still very much interested in you.
ReplyDeleteLearn to make the most out of every situation.
I don't know how strong you are right now but as soon as you feel better, you can begin to place notice for people who would like to learn English. Staying in one place is bad for hardworking, young women like you.
Be calm. Things will fall in place.
If you believe in God and in the power of Thanksgiving, place it in your heart to thank God for at least 10 things everyday. Look around mama, you'll find!
Stay in Mexico, relax, enjoy your pregnancy and your husband and have your baby. When your husband’s papers are out, you guys will find it easier moving to Canada since he will be a Mexican citizen by then. You will have a husband, a child, and living in a good country(Canada) instead of living without papers in the US. Do not go back to Nigeria! Relax and enjoy so that your attitude now doesn’t rub off on your husband and cause a crack or even break up your relationship because that’s when you will actually be in a real desperate situation!!
ReplyDeleteThere are many people who have American citizenship but can’t get pregnant or have a baby or a life partner. Living in America does not mean all will be well with you.
Count your blessings, take it one day at a time and you more blessings will come.
It’s a mindset thing. If you want to compare Mexico with America in everything, you will definitely be depressed so forget about America for now and focus on your family, your husband getting his final papers and your immigration to Canada. If you become a permanent resident or citizen of Canada, it’s easy to visit/work/relocate to America.
DO NOT MOVE BACK TO NIGERIA OR RUIN YOUR NEW FAMILY. You have been warned.
You have said it all.
DeleteThank you anon 17:36. Poster I dey draw your two ears, do not move back to Nigeria. The likely hood of visa renewal is not guaranteed. Please take 17:36 advise and work on your marriage.
DeleteLovelace
Poster please with all the strenght in me,this is your best advice, kindly take this!.
DeleteI said please DO NOT MOVE BACK TO NIGERIA.
It’s actually not as bad as the poster painted this whole scenario, this is what you will do:
ReplyDelete1. Start the process to writing your IELTS (general training version)
2. Start the process of assessing your certificates with WES
3. Apply for Express Entry from wherever you are now and come to Canada legitimately
Canada is even a saner clime than the US. Shift your attention from the US because if you had stayed more than 6 months there earlier, you’re considered to have been in violation of your visit visa. Admission into US will be tough and a visa renewal is not guaranteed. Just shift your gaze to Canada.
I’m a Certified Canadian immigration consultant. Go and do what I told you.
I think you are a career conscious woman who wouldn't want anything to take the place of your career.. if you took the risk and travelled all the way to Mexico it means you had something for your husband no matter how little, and if you had gotten a job as soon as you got to Mexico you will not be this worked up. Please madam try and calm down, plan with your husband cos from all I read you said nothing negative about him which means he's reliable and responsible.. build love for your hubby and child in you and above all pray and ask for God's guidance, do not take drastic decision to move without consulting God.. all will be well!
ReplyDeleteMadam it is pregnancy hormone making you sentimental be patient with that man and wait for his papers. Enjoy your pregnancy and leave the rest to God
ReplyDeletePlease dont leave your husband, you are married. Be patient, give birth to your child and see what next year will look like. Be patient please.
DeleteWhy don't you calm down first and see this as a blessing in disguise? To everything there is a time and season. You just got 'married' and pregnant already at 30 years. Focus on your baby and bonding with the father. Learning Spanish isnt a bad idea because that opportunity may never be available again and who knows, you may need that skill in the future. Also, relax and try to make new friends there. There are online courses that can keep you busy until you can sort things out. Mexico is still better than Nigeria. The valley has its own opportunities too if only we look closely and ask God for guidance. Lot thought he made a good choice superior to Abraham forgetting that the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof and it is not always in the location but in the grace we carry. Success is not always to the swift, let God lead you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes patience is the greatest of all virtues. You were doing too much all at the same time. 30 is not old age, shit, I wish I was 30 now, but with all the wisdom of older age. Work from where you are to slowly untangle yourself and make conscious and wise decisions that are empowering for you and the baby you will have soon. Spanish is one of the easiest languages in the world world to learn. Take advantage of your fiance to teach you and use You Tube and his family as well. By being able to speak Spanish you will have bigger doors open to you when you return to the US. After English, Spanish is the next most spoken language there, so take advantage of the opportunity to learn it.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best in whatever direction you choose to go.
Poster I wish you can still see this.
ReplyDeletePlease and please do not leave your husband nor Mexico for any yeye Country like Nigeria, getting visa back to U.S maybe so hard.
Better stay put,manage o cos life itself is not a bed of roses o.Marriage is hardwork, I beleive with time you will love your hubby more, like someone already said,resume dating your hubby again.Give birth while in mexico(manage the language barrier cos I'm sure you are not the ist to) then next year as your hubby planed, travel to Canada with him,yes and you will never ever regret it.
Please DO NOT EVEN DREAM OF COMING BACK TO NIGERIA.
Goodluck dear,save delivery.
Poster I wish you can still see this.
ReplyDeletePlease and please do not leave your husband nor Mexico for any yeye Country like Nigeria, getting visa back to U.S maybe so hard.
Better stay put,manage o cos life itself is not a bed of roses o.Marriage is hardwork, I beleive with time you will love your hubby more, like someone already said,resume dating your hubby again.Give birth while in mexico(manage the language barrier cos I'm sure you are not the ist to) then next year as your hubby planed, travel to Canada with him,yes and you will never ever regret it.
Please DO NOT EVEN DREAM OF COMING BACK TO NIGERIA.
Goodluck dear,save delivery.