STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE BOYFRIEND AND HIS SISTER FIGHT A LOT
Good day,
I have known my boyfriend for two years and he had been the most thoughtful boyfriend ever. He is also prayerful and hardworking.
But there’s a problem, he has only one sister and his mum is late. He fights with her a lot , they live together with his sister’s child . He and his sister are always at loggerheads, and he reports her to me every time .
I argue with my siblings too but it doesn’t get this long and childish. Every time they fight his dad has to call to settle their issues and I find this very childish. And another thing is he is not so nice to his sisters child . I don’t know if this is a red sign . But he relates well with his dad, his sister keeps saying he has serious issues but she she is very cool with me . And we get along well.
Pls can you advise me ? I feel like this might be a red sign cause how a guy treats his family matters a lot . Though he has never hit me and he says he detests it but I noticed he gets angry easily . I don’t know what to think ... is it enough reason to break up with him or not ?
Good day,
I have known my boyfriend for two years and he had been the most thoughtful boyfriend ever. He is also prayerful and hardworking.
But there’s a problem, he has only one sister and his mum is late. He fights with her a lot , they live together with his sister’s child . He and his sister are always at loggerheads, and he reports her to me every time .
Recently they fought over his sisters boyfriend coming over every time , I don’t know how to explain it , I feel like what if my boyfriend is actually the one with the problem cause she said he pushed her and she fell.
They are not kids o, they are in their thirties, I’ve never seen them go physical but he insults her a lot, he calls her a fool and a bitch sometimes.
I argue with my siblings too but it doesn’t get this long and childish. Every time they fight his dad has to call to settle their issues and I find this very childish. And another thing is he is not so nice to his sisters child . I don’t know if this is a red sign . But he relates well with his dad, his sister keeps saying he has serious issues but she she is very cool with me . And we get along well.
Pls can you advise me ? I feel like this might be a red sign cause how a guy treats his family matters a lot . Though he has never hit me and he says he detests it but I noticed he gets angry easily . I don’t know what to think ... is it enough reason to break up with him or not ?
Pls help...... Do you think it is as a result of them not growing up together? Or it is normal for siblings to fight like that ?
*They are in their thirties and live together?why are they living together?Is he jealous that she has a boyfriend coming over?I smell more to this than you are probably being told.....
All i can say is WATCH THEM CLOSELY and you might find the answer to why they are like that with each other and still live together....
I don't mean to poison your mind but the last time i heard of a story like this,the sibling were bedmates.....
Dont be in a haste to break up until you finish your detective work....
Nobody should concentrate on my response oh...say your own..lol
It's a red sign.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of when my ex and I visited Abuja and we stayed with his married sister. During our stay his sister and her hubby fought aggressively all day and my ex and her gossiped all night instead of her making up with her hubby. One morning her hubby went to work. I took a shower and when I got into the guest room my ex was lying face down in the bed while his sister was lying on him whispering in his ear. It was so strange to me. When I mentioned to him he really blew up. I later learnt that the same sister caused his first marriage to break up. She even packed the woman's property from his house while he stood by. I pity the persons daughter that ends up with him.
DeleteI think they sleep together and he is not happy she has moved on. The child might be his and he hates the many because he or she is a constant reminder of their incestuous affair....from the desk of a professional psychotherapist
DeleteWhy
DeleteHe might just be full of resentment and wants her out of his space. But he has no right except it is his own personal or rented apartment. If it's a family house, then he should grow the fuck up and stop behaving like a simp.
ReplyDeleteSomeone that can't live in peace with his sibling....poster find your way ahbeg!
DeleteHe is nice to you doesn't mean he is a good man. I find it crass that he can even call his sister a bitch. Even if he hates his sister but why extend it to her kid? An innocent child. You should watch out. He may end up treating you same way in the long haul.
ReplyDeleteLike what's the crime of the innocent child? Dude has issues.
DeletePoster leave!
Very good question.Shantelle that part is worrisom.
DeleteHaving read the several comments below and those above, I have to say that several women on this blog have deep underlying issues.
DeleteSome people are even suggesting that he is the father of his sister's child!
I've read and re-read the chronicle. Nothing even slightly suggests incest, rape or sexual molestation!
What's wrong with you guys please!
This,I'll pass👩🦯👩🦯👩🦯👩🦯👩🦯👩🦯👩🦯
ReplyDeletePoster your boyfriend is a woman beater run ooo
ReplyDeleteThat’s how I nearly married one that’s always beating his sister if not for God.
Every time he’s beating his younger sister and I kept advising her to stop making her brother angry. If I tell the guy that he will do the same to me when we marry he will swear and tell me that he will never ever beat his wife besides I’m not as stupid as his sister until one day he caught me snooping his phone and gave me a dirty slap that I will never forget in my life. Poster I’m warning you ooo
Na from clap e dey enter dance. The way he finds it easy to throw insults,one day he wl graduate to hitting. Poster,he is toxic!
DeleteAny babe snooping around her man's phone is worst than SARS
DeleteAny boyfriend wey get wetin e dey hide for phone is worst than Nigerian Govt
DeleteYvonne O, thank you o
DeleteDirty slap to Usain Bolt.
DeletePoster, that guy needs Jesus.
Geezz...once a man beats any girl at all; he would end up beating his wife.
DeleteStella you have put things in my head already. I think he isn't comfortable with her lifestyle and just maybe he has warned her about bringing her boyfriend around. So I don't know sha. If you ain't comfortable with his attitude towards his sister, my sister quietly japa,🏃🏃🏃🏃
ReplyDeleteLifestyle? Is he any better? To think poster said he is prayerful!
DeleteWetin senator egba no go see for crossriverians hand!
😲😲😲 Is he outrightly jealous of his sister's boyfriend coming around most at times? Why is that since they aren't lovers? This whole story reeks of absolute suspicion
ReplyDeleteMay be your guy @poster doesn't like the boyfriend coupled with d fact that she has a child OOW I guess. The boyfriend may not be a rich guy if not ....
DeleteThis a good angle to explore. Who is the father of the child? Could be the sister got pregnated by a guy like that and the brother feels, she's doing it again... Boys don't like their sisters in such situation
DeleteI think why they are always at loggerheads is because the guy is not happy his sister is a single mum, and expects her to be married. now she is a single mum that stills brings boyfriend to the house, he is just not happy with the whole arrangements, that's my thought.
ReplyDeleteYour thoughts are in the right direction. Everything must not be incest. 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
DeleteSo as a prayerful brother and deputy Jesus he should be the judge of her life?
DeleteBtw,do you know if the bf is her child's father? And if he isn't does she not deserve another shot @ friendships? Or how do ppl get married again? I need answers oh!
That was exactly what I thought.
DeleteShantelle, I'm not in anyway saying the guy is right with his behavior towards his sister ooo, it might or might not be the reason i stated up there,and I'm wondering why their father hasn't gotten involved yet and try to broker peace between them, or maybe he is tired of trying, also poster you didn't state their financial status, is the sister working and taking care of bills in the house? is your boyfriend the sole provider and he is getting angry over that? Look well well Sha before jumping the broom.
DeleteAnd poster i have read it here that someone kabashes in tongues does not make them a true child of Godod, don't get it twisted and shine your eyes
The father should die before his time abi? He cane to this world just to be settling his adult children’s quarrels. They should live separately, that will bring about respect and peace. The brother is actually one of those “holier than thou guys” who resents his sister became she is a single mum. He also transfers that resentment to her child.
DeleteOmo, this is deep
DeleteYou have a a lot of questions to ask. And Also you need to pray. Ask the Lord to expose what all this is about.
ReplyDeleteIts definitely a red sign. How a person relates to his only sibling says a lot. Stay woke.
ReplyDeleteHe has not gone physical, yet you said he pushed his sister. This dude is toxic and mean. Let's say the sister is annoying and all that, but why hate the little daughter. Please poster, Run for your life and destiny. God is showing you how he will lead your home if you go on to tie the knots with him. He's a man filled with trash and bile. Yes, someone can claim to be a prayer warrior and carry all sorts of baggage, if they are fully surrounded to God. This man has not displayed any fruit of the spirit. He will treat you exactly the way he treats his sister. No, the truth is, he will treat you worse. He's a quarrelsome, twisted fellow. He called his sister a bitch and a fool. He will say worse things to you. RUN RUN RUN RUN!
ReplyDelete*surrendered
DeleteBut he relates well with their father which nullifies it being a family thing. So?
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is misogynistic..men like that have a deep dislike and condescending tone towards women. To them women are foolish and pea-brained. They hate female bosses or any females in authority. Their respect is only for men.
DeleteFrom my own experience, it's a big sign, if by now they are not matured, especially ur bf, that means when u enter he continue from where he stopped with his sister. My brother used to be very aggressive like this, and I was shaking head for the kind of woman that will say yes, but later he toned it down, and we both decided that we will not make each other angry. My dear the sister and the brother have issues, the lady should learn how to ignore, and the man should divorce anger. If not if u enter that family both of them will use u and settle, allow them to settle now before u put head, if not take a long walk.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a good sign. Any man in his thirties who fights with his sister constantly and over her boyfriend coming a lot, when she is not a teen is not good.
ReplyDelete30 and fighting 😕😕ọ wrong naa..
ReplyDeleteObserve and make your decision. Ask why they are living together because it should not be if they are both earning well..
Personally, your guy might not be ready to take correction and give peace a chance.
Yes, this is an obvious red sign. It's only a matter of time till he starts same with you; when you marry and move in with him.
ReplyDeleteHe might not be a bad person but he can't stay with someone under the same roof for long without quarrels. It's a psychological problem which might have to do with the way he grew up.
You can talk him into seeing a shrink if you really want to be with him. He has a whole lot he's fighting and more to let go.
Please make sure he sees a shrink before you marry him otherwise, expect worse treatment from him. Unless you both won't be living in same house after marriage.
They are bedmates. Another man wan wack he goods.
ReplyDeleteIt is a blue sign. Since you get along very well with the sister, perhaps she will be the one to provide the answer to you.
ReplyDeleteIf not, seek God, be prayerful and he will reveal what is hidden in darkness for you to see.
This red sign is OBVIOUS nao.
ReplyDeleteHe pushed his sister and she fell?
He will kick you o
He may not be happy with his sister's lifestyle hence, the attitude. Saying this on the assumption that he may be the one paying for the apartment (I may be wrong). But whatever the case, I think you should be wary of this kind of guy who can open his mouth and refer to his sister as a bitch. When the chips are down, same treatment can be meted on you.
ReplyDeleteHe has poor anger management and self control
DeleteNot husband material
Except he is aware of his weaknesses and allows GOD work on him
@poster, your guy may not be bedmet with his sister but come to think of it: why would he bring in a guy to d house where her child also lives? The brother may be getting irritated probably b/c he was warning her before she had d child now he is afraid another may soon arrive with none of d guys getting married to her. Meanwhile, the name-calling and harsh treatment may be red flags of who he really is, I can't really say. But then, are they in their family house? Why can't he leave there? Is their dad staying at a different place?
ReplyDelete#endPolucdBrutality #endEvilGovernance #investigateLekkiMassacre
Dear poster
ReplyDeletefor someone who is so prayerful why would he be using those offensive words to refer to his sister? Or spend so much time fighting her? True prayerful people, know that how they relate with others can affect their prayers being heard.
I would recommend that you prayerfully look at the signs God is giving you.
Someone who is truly kind will not just be kind to you, they will be kind to all.
If you're still unsure, ask God to open your eyes clearly and expose to you what you havent yet been able to see.
All the best
It's a red sign.
ReplyDeleteThe way a man treats his mother and sisters most of the times show how he will treat his wife. Please be very prayerful and watchful.
ReplyDeleteI think he doesn't like his sister's choices in men. To me, he comes across as a very protective sibling.
ReplyDeleteAll This people that can see red flags in other people's relationships meanwhile their's flag rainbow 🌈 upandan
ReplyDeleteLol!! This your comment is so funny and true! I am laughing out loud in my office. Very true and where we're guilty may we be forgiven! Thanks for the laughs
DeleteIn fact poster me I don't know the colour of the sign, it is sha a sign.
DeleteIf the sister is older, you might want to find out if she’s molested him or raped him before or if she’s allowed someone do something to him for what she’d gain in the past. I don’t think he’s the father of the child, this is hatred and this kind of sibling hatred can only stem from wrong doing, grievous one. Sellah
ReplyDeleteThe way some of you reason, is out of this world! What?????????
DeleteMy late elder bro was like this, he beats me when i go visit my boyfriend now hubby. i was 28, he is so petty and fights all the time with me. I really don't fight back because he is the eldest one. Until one day i just have to show him he cant beat a woman and don't expect reaction
ReplyDeletereaction. I poured Cameron pepper on his face when he was about beating
Me. Dear bv i had my fill using turning garri stick and Cain with him. It was a serious issue but he never tried hitting me or being petty.
Ur case seems same cos his girlfriend which was 25 at that time comes around, i told her that a guy that beats his sis must beat his wife. Like this my brother carries the older sibling respect on his head like chieftancy. We were told to respect because that's how we respect our husband.
I was even blamed for everything, for going to visit my boyfriend at 28 almost29 . i was blamed for breathing too loud he got angry, i was blamed for taking boyfriend calls n giggling. I am married for 10yrs now, i have never believed a man n woman can live together happy like sibling for that long. Dear parents we need to do better to our male kids. Our parents raised some as monster��
How is he faring with his wife now though, any complain about he beating her?
DeleteAnon 18:03
DeleteHer brother is late now, didn't you read the first line
While we were dating, my now hubby's mum used to take record of the wrong doings of his siblings and always delighted in him beating them, the sister inclusive. I found this irritating and disgusting because he dared not used a harsh word with me and never did in our 26yrs of marriage but would beat and insult the sister who I was just a year older than. The sister was still in school and dared not say hi to a guy or bring him home; they even took delight I'm monitoring her and when my then boyfriend and the sister met on a bus (the sister was with a guy), the kind of embarrassment he gave her was legendary and he had the guts to come and gist me about it. I flared up, told him his sister and I were agemates and if we could be dating openly and his mum found nothing wrong with because I was working, the sister too is entitled to date freely and should be left alone. It now dawned on him that he was being selfish and he quickly amended his ways. The sister and the other younger ones were beginning to hate him sef because she actually spoke to me
ReplyDeleteMy point is, he has never said a harsh word to me or given me a slap or a shove. He just believed he was trying his sister which was wrong
Poster should talk to him and find out what the issues are. If they can be resolved, fine. It might not necessarily be a case of incest or being toxic but of values and faulty upbringing
His sister is the mother he sees therefore, however he treats her is how he'll treat you one you guy become more than bf/gf. Right now, you're being pampered in a honeymoon phase. The moment his sister moves out, then you'll become a target.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, are you sure she's really his sister or you are unknowingly in an open relationship?
Are you also sure that that child is not his (Yes, I'm insinuating incest if she's really his sister).
Thirdly, how well do you really know this your bf?
Jeez some of you are so messed up in your upbringing your thinking is disgusting
DeleteAnon e reach to think like that. How else do you explain such toxic sibling rivalry
DeleteWhen I was dating my now ex-husband, he said nasty things about his mom, his aunt, his sister, his exes. It seemed that they were all harlots from how he spoke abt them. See me naa, mumu, since I know I am always very faithful,I didn't see it as anything. Boom, after marriage,the very next month he travelled to tell my mom, his mom, his aunts,his sisters that I sleep around. Fear catch me,cos it's never in my mind.
ReplyDeleteSo which lesson did I learn, never trust anyone who treats others bad cos they'll do same to u.
Now, am divorced wit a daughter his split image who I hear he denies, never gave a Kobo. Kinsly trust me, u wil remain poor, wretched and miserable in life. Simple.
I don’t think it’s abnormal for siblings to live together even if they’re each unmarried. What isn’t normal is how he treats his sister. He might be overprotective but expressing it in a horrible way. Poster, if the way he treats his sis is uncomfortable to you, please pack your bags and go. If not, try to see if you can help him stop treating his sister badly.
ReplyDeleteTo each his own. However, I’ve learnt that if you want to know how your man will treat you 15-20 years into your relationship, look at how he treats his mom and or sisters. He may treat you differently now, but in most cases it’s only temporary, you may soon start being treated the way the women around him are treated. He may be a good person with other deep rooted issues - hence the anger and constant fighting with his sister - but I doubt that incest is in the mix. Since you asked for advice, my advice is to not think you’ve reached your last bus stop.
ReplyDeleteAbeg poster leave the relationship to avoid stories that touch, anger issue is very terrible in marriage, just thank God God is showing you these signs. Don't worry you'll surely meet someone better.
ReplyDelete