Hmmmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CRY OUT TO FELLOW SNOOERS.
Oya my fellow snoopers come oo, come and help one of your own. My husband has been keeping late nights and always or protective of his phone, so yesterday, I took the phone when he was in d bathroom and I saw he's keeping an affair with his secretary,they have even started calling each other love and baby.
He buys food for her during lunch and leaves the house without dropping nothing.
When I saw the message my body started shaking. Long story short; I'm still in his house. He's been crawling on the floor begging. He carried me to his office to fire the secretary,bht she isn't my problem right? There are many other girls out there and he can as well continue with the secretary outside the office (which might be better for him).
Now I have a year old baby and a girl I took from d village living with me. I've been thinking, where do I go with them? Honestly I want to just leave, even if it's for a while and I do not have a place to go except my parents house which is my village. Pls what do I do? Bvs pls advice me. I do not want to leave my baby behind.
I really need a break to think.....
Fellow snoopers over to you
Madam do whatever will give you peace.
ReplyDeleteMadam, please forgive especially as he is remorseful.
DeleteGet a job or start a business.
Aim for your peace mind.
Whatever happens don't let policing a man take away your peace.
Find something to do.
Or use his remorsefulness and ask him to invest in you now.
Hope you are earning money too? If not, use the opportunity to give him an estimation of a business proposal e.g. boutique, supermarket, material/food stuff business, etc.
DeleteIt will help in taking your attention away from such.
Don't develop Hbp or kill yourself over a man. All the best n try ignore him atimes.
So sorry you are going through this. Maybe you should do couples counselling and ask God to heal your heart and restore your marriage to what he designed it to be. Take care of your mental health in all this.
DeletePlease use this opportunity to ask for money to start a business or ask for a new car.
DeleteI tasked my husband when I went through his phone and saw all his text messages to different women. I was quite hurt but gave him conditions to stay in the marriage amongst which was for him to change my car which he has done. It doesn't take away the hurt completely but it eases the pain a little.
Sooo... It's up to you.
Tax the shit outta that man. Give him curfew. You've got him where you want him. Give him tasks too. Good luck, you're going nowhere o.
DeleteIf you can afford it pay for a shortlet just for a week or go to a friend just to have perspective and breathe and atleast let it be a deterrent to your husband.
ReplyDelete💯💯
DeleteTell him to start giving you a monthly allowance. Since he has extra to buy food for babe
DeleteWhen things go wrong or are perceived to go wrong in a marriage, it is not time to leave. It is time to reflect and that done in silence. Watch him and see what his attitude in the coming days and weeks will be like. It is time to pray and get closer to God. Do not fret for it only leads to evil. Do not take a decision when you are angry because those decisions are clouded by emotions which are not reliable.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sometimes it's best to just leave so as to cool your head,after a week you can go back home and resolve things
Delete@Liz
DeleteSometimes, leaving sends the wrong unintended signal. He just gets absorbed by the other woman, even when nothing had happened between them
prior to that.
I agree 15:04
DeleteBreathe ma'am. You know, when it comes to a man 99%, expect anything. dont live with your head In the clouds as if thunder no fit strike, e dey always strike, it takes time. I dunno how you feel sha cos to me, none of em is a saint..so I'm always unbothered.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
When things go wrong or are perceived to go wrong in a marriage, it is not time to leave. It is time to reflect and that done in silence. Watch him and see what his attitude in the coming days and weeks will be like. It is time to pray and get closer to God. Do not fret for it only leads to evil. Do not take a decision when you are angry because those decisions are clouded by emotions which are not reliable.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Tell him you need some money
ReplyDeleteGo to a hotel and relax small
Don't go to any hotel. The house belongs to both of you.
DeleteStay there but don't pay any attention to him.. Ignore him very much.
What is it with men and adultery? What is it with ladies and towing married men along in adulteries? When the chips are down, you are thrown under the bus. And think of it, you are putting barriers to your chances of getting married. If you scatter another woman's home, yours will not endue, will it? Please anyone doing that on this blog, repent.
ReplyDeleteAs for this poster, please do not leave your matrimonial home. It is time to wait it out.
Madam stay there & take charge of your marriage. He's remorseful, he might start another affair but you have God. Go to Him in prayers & seek His help to turn your family affairs around.
ReplyDeleteYou need your space? Take a few hours away from your neighborhood to refresh but please don't leave your home, your marriage or your kids behind for more cracks.
🧡 & 💡
I advice you stay and give him a second chance. Maybe he will change for the good. If not for anything but your baby.
ReplyDeleteIs d whole chronicle about snooping? Madam, calm down, watch him henceforth while u gather money as much as u can. Give him close markings. Improve yourself as much as you can to increase your worth in his eyes. Divorce and separation is not always the ultimate.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless. She should ask him why he is cheating so she can work on it? Really? If tables were turned will the man do the same? Una dey try o.
DeleteI'm speechless too. OKIROYALTY what a PATRONIZING comment and low self-esteem.
DeletePoster, report to your marriage counselor to have a witness (if you want to stay).
If you want to leave, patiently plan your exit.
Go for STI test and subsequently insist on protection for any intimacy with your husband since you have discovered he is an adulterer.
Yoh oki, you caught your husband pants down, have u asked him why he cheated? Have u worked on yourself? Has he stopped? Or he took a break to start again? Cos he will do it again o.
DeleteThe majority of people who cheat on their spouses do it for the fun of it, not that they are denied sex.
DeleteRent your own apartment and leave with your child and house help.
ReplyDeleteChike, I know you are being sarcastic but this woman is in pain & you could be more compassionate.
DeleteNo one knows your husband better than you. If you honestly believe he is truly repentant you can forgive him and stay married to him. If you know him well enough to know that he is just acting drama for you then I’ll advise you strategize on a plan to protect your sanity.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that adulterers usually don’t do it with one person. How many secretaries, marketers, church members, students etc will you fire? The fact that he’s pushing you to be the face of his battle is very sad and suspicious. Traits of a randy coward. Someone he will go and beg behind your back and say it’s his wife that’s acting drama and not him. Don’t be the one to fight his battle for him. He entered the adultery willingly and can end it willingly.
If you decide that he is truly a repentant adulterer then there is no need to fire the secretary. He can end things with her and exercise restraint and control when required. She herself will run. And please no one should mention jazz here because almost all adulterers do it with clear eyes and willingness.
As for my lovely Stella, your intent on the whole snooper tag is very suspicious. You don’t snoop because you trust your husband. You have the finances to go for tests and Medicaid biannually. A lot of Nigerian women can’t afford to do prevention is better than cure for them. I’ll advice snooping for everyone especially when your heart tells you to so you can avoid sexually transmitted diseases and life destroying issues. Some women cannot have children because they failed to detect certain diseases in time. Others are dead and penniless because of their lack of snooping. A word is enough for the wise.
I support this your write up..
DeleteMake sure that secretary is fired! Let her lose her job as a reminder to live married me alone!
Delete15:13 You are WISE!
DeleteThis your comment deserves an award.
DeleteMust you drag Stella into your comment. She is not team snoop and she has her reasons. What is your headache with that. Live and let live abeg.
DeleteGo where? Taa are you so naive. Make use of the opportunity. Now that he is begging. Make demands n never leave a man bc he cheated. dont listen to advice that you should leave. There is no guarantee the next man will be faithful. How many you go leave ?
ReplyDeleteYou are a fool. My sis left the man because of adultery. Stop telling women to stay with pigs! Oga frittered his money on women and careless life. Now he wants to have her back sis refused. Girl is a big chic now and earning well. Her ex is now squatting somewhere and penniless. Reject adulterers. Women make your own money. Poster, calm down, make your demands about setting you up, if he doesn't, find a way to make a living. Suspend giving birth to another baby for now. Na naija you dey. There na jungle. No support from government or enforcing child support.
DeleteWhy are you insulting her? If all married women left marriages due to adultery, 90% of homes will be broken. Who will they then remarry? How many men haven't cheated in their previous or current relationship?
DeleteNot everyone who cheats is randy. This poster's husband isnt one. He cheated with his secretary and not 100 other girls. Know the difference.
I am not the anon 19:19 but your first paragraph Might have an answer.
DeleteIf all women leave their cheating spouses the men will sit up and majority will stop being filthy because they know the repercussions of their actions. All these task him but don't leave is what is giving the cheats leverage. When they know the result of their actions is a broken home thanks to their ashewo ways they will turn a new leaf by force.
Madam, be calming down. The steps he took shows he's remorseful,so dnt drag it too far. I snoop and encourage it cos u can find out on time and step in bfor it gets too worse.
ReplyDeleteKeep calm and continue the marriage,ok? When I caught my husband, he apologized and we moved past it, the next one, he confessed himself and the house was on fire for weeks bfor I relaxed. Now, we respect ourselves but at least we knows where we stand.
Please don’t leave, since he has apologized I think you should give him the silent treatment. Anytime he wants to touch you, demand for condom.
ReplyDeleteAs for the secretary that he fired in this corona period, good for her.
Haa!..
ReplyDeletePoster,you want to leave your home because you caught your husband cheating?..
You be mumu ooo
See,you can hardly see a man that does not cheat these days..exceptional to those their wives dey knack pigeon for their head sha...
See forgive him but suffer him small..
Since he doesn't give you money,learn to be stealing from his pocket..
Yes!..
Chill,have one or two children untop the one you had,cajole him to open up a business for you and get your self a boyfriend..
Gone are the days when married women dey carry marriage for head...
These days,what is good for the goose is equally good for the gander!...
Na married women dey cheat pass these days...
Allow him cheat in peace maka ndu gi!...
HBP is real
Queen Queen the pigeon knacker😄.
DeleteTuale🙌
I totally agree with you Queen 👌
Delete👍👍👍👍
DeleteThe Chief has spoken!
DeleteCase closed, unto the next chronicle, haha.
I am team snoop o.
DeleteYou can find out a lot of things from there.
I don’t snoop to detect adultery but other acts that can put us in trouble as a family. But Aunty I don’t advise you to leave, I think he is remorseful, try and get healing for your mind, take some time off if you think it will help you heal but don’t take too long so you don’t invite the devil in. Please give him a second chance, we all deserve one and most importantly try to find something doing; everyone needs some level of financial independence. ✌🏿
If you decide to stay. Take the job of his secretary since you have nothing doing. If you have a job or cash of your own, place to stay wouldn't be a probs.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I am seeing, you are going nowhere. Your jobless state and being penniless is solve by taking the job.
Good advice!!
DeleteYes that is a very good idea, she should become his secretary. At least she will be earning her own money and getting out of the house. It won't stop him cheating bu t it will be good for her.
Deletethat is actually a good idea o. lol. don't know if you're being sarcastic but u made sense. that or she suggest to her husband that he get a male personal assistant. I suggest she also work on looking sexy af as well n change up her look.
DeleteNawa o! Your husband is just trying to save his face and possibly still cheat with others outside his office
ReplyDeleteGiving him a second chance wouldn’t be a bad idea since he is being remorseful...Do not leave, ask God to take control when such situations arises
ReplyDeletePoster, I'm not yet married but if you will listen to me, it's not reached a point you should leave your marriage yet. I will say, move to the guest room and request your husband go for test. Bring in people he respects and ask him to fire the secretary (let him do the firing himself). Increase your demand in the house and demand in the house. What I'm saying is, punish him but don't move out.
ReplyDeleteBring in people to settle for Maka why now 🤷
DeletePoster deal and settle with him alone and make her stand known clearly. As in be very clear with him on this matter.
To Err is Human, To forgive is Divine.
Just calm your self... The days ahead be tough. But you two can fight for the union...if you are on the same page.
It is your choice at the end of the day.
Pele mummy baby for your ordeal.
ReplyDeleteBack to the gist.
You need TO HAVE A STRATEGIC PLAN before doing anything.
You don't just stand up, and leave except you have financial backing and i don't think you are ok financially to take such step.
Start tasking him for money. Allow him to beg for a long time and make your financial demands while he's at it. You have the upper hand for now.
Stop every intimacy and get yourself examined medically with a confirmatory test before resuming intimacy,after you have decided to let go of the hurt (if you can) at your pace. Don't let no one rush you. Take your time to heal!!! For as long as it takes you.
Your mental health is at stake here.
Avoid all these pastors and religious gangs of forgive, every man cheats. That's not what you need to hear now. Stay far away from them. Protect your peace.
This is the time to reflect on yourself as an individual. Are there plans and aspirations you put on hold because of marriage? ? This is the time to go back to the drawing table and get yourself back on track. Re-strategise by putting yourself and your daughter first.
Enough of being the good wife who gets cheated on.
You know he just learnt how to cover his tracks well enough now!
He didn't repent.
If you can, go to movies and beautiful scenery location and pamper yourself. Cry if you must,then dry your tears and pick up yourself life a bosschick!
Sending you ehugs mama!! Love you
I agree. she needs to make him suffer small consequences. if not it will be easy for him to do next time.
DeleteAbeg dont go anywhere sister. He is remorseful so just drag him and guilt trip him o. Some men will cheat and not even apologize.
ReplyDeleteI understand you perfectly cos I too snipped last year and saw their chats. My body was shaking o. I couldn't sleep that night. That's how I scattered everywhere. Good thing is we live alone. Thank God say I no commit murder. I seized phones, car keys, everything. Now he has removed password and very humble.
Don't go anywhere. Shout, fight, scatter everywhere but please keep your home. Dont let anyone deceive you o, the men that will be faithful no reach 5%. Just deal with the situation and always nip things in the bud.
Men and cheating, it's even caused me a big predicament now. I met a man that loved and wanted to marry me. I visited his house, his mom, his friends etc. He was good looking, comfortable and seemed genuine. I fell all in love. I tot he wanted to marry me so I allowed myself to take in,went for scan,twins. I told him, he was over the moon, we started planning a wedding. I dnt know wat made me snoop,turned out the man was married for years no kids, funny thing,he loved his wife and she never knew he had a secret life wit me. So, a whole me, filled wit brain,so I tot, worldly wise and earning well is now the side chick. I am yet to recover, he just apologized as if it's means nothing. Am wit a growing bump, I would have aborted if I wasn't in my late 30ies. All I want now is to have a heart to heart talk wit the wife and the man.
ReplyDeleteSo poster, kukuma check if u are indeed the original madam, bcos lies men tell shocks even electricity.
What 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
DeleteThis is shocking. Like how did you cope with this bomb shell.
Make sure his wife knows. Not because you want to take her place but refuse to remain hidden. You are an innocent here.
DeleteThey may even plan to take your children away from you, do you not know that? Please take steps to protect yourself.
Wow
DeleteNne if your narrative is true, please secure some funds for your children.
DeleteIf he is capable, get money from him and build you a house even if it's 2 rooms.
Don't put it in mind to go and live in another woman's home.
Make sure you are compensated for being lied to.
Threaten him with not allowing him to see the children.
Abort gini? Chop slap there. Children that people are looking for.. twins too. It's ok dear, it happens to the best of us, no one has a perfect story. Follow McClure twins on IG..as pretty as they are their Dad left but now they have an adopted Dad that dotes on them and they're successful and well raised. Let go and goodluck!
DeleteThe importance of having your own cannot be overstated. Great he is rich and generous with his money. Please get yours, so in situations like this, you can use your own to sort yourself out. My 29 year old friend married for 6 years with 2 kids just lost her husband. I'm shattered beyond belief but that's why you need to have your own, anything can happen at anytime. He just had an accident within his street and he died instantly. So women please have your own.
ReplyDeleteHhhhmmm.Poster according to yesterday's chronicle by some blog visitors,if a man starves his lover of ego,kudi,owo he does not love her and should runnnn, vamoose or disappear sharp sharp. The ball is in your court.
ReplyDeleteLet me ask the popular questions here. Did you see the signs before marriage or he changed after the wedding.
I feel for you poster,do think and make the best decision not just for you but your kid as well. Good luck.
Lovelace.
Hhhhmmm.Poster according to yesterday's chronicle by some blog visitors,if a man starves his lover of ego,kudi,owo he does not love her and should runnnn, vamoose or disappear sharp sharp. The ball is in your court.
ReplyDeleteLet me ask the popular questions here. Did you see the signs before marriage or he changed after the wedding.
I feel for you poster,do think and make the best decision not just for you but your kid as well. Good luck.
Lovelace.
Poster the question is not what should you do right now? The question is, what would you do till God knows when? People who cheat and get caught only cover their tracks well and they don't stop till when something terrible happens to them like they carry a witch or we're almost beaten to death by their mistress lover or they get hiv. So the question is can you live in peace and harmony with a cheat without being bothered that different women with different diseases background, lifestyle, diabolical spirits out there are seeing and using your man's private part to sing songs? If you imagine this scenario, and smile then you have your answer. Don't let anyone guilt trip you into staying by saying all men cheat or if you leave what is the assurance the next man you meet will not be a cheat? When a man find out his wife cheats he doesn't bother if the next woman he will carry put for house will be an ashewo or a retired prostitute despite knowing a lot of married women cheat nowadays and there is no guarantee the next one he will meet will be a virgin he stills goes ahead and please himself with a new wife and get another woman while being optimistic that this new one will be an angel. So please yourself and be optimistic. Don't go and say you don't want to leave your home for another woman and end up getting disease.you need to be alive to take care of your kids. They need you to have good health to take care of them. All these use condom use condom people are always saying please how many of you who know your horseband is cheating have succeeded in making him use condom till now? And has the fact that he is using condom stopped his adultery ways?
ReplyDeletePoster, don't leave your home if you leave what will be your gain and it will also be an opportunity for another woman to enter. Give him a second chance and asked him to go and do test. If you are not work tell him to set up business for you.
ReplyDeleteYour worry/concern for the poster is letting another woman enter? Smh. The sad truth is, the poster will continue with her husband. I've no advice to give.
DeleteFor the umpteenth time, women get up and find that job or business! Go make some money and stop depending completely on your husbands. The doctor poster made a decision and never looked back. Be like her!
I hope when a man sends a chronicle of similar story you all will give the same advice.
ReplyDeleteHhhhmmm.Poster according to yesterday's chronicle by some blog visitors,if a man starves his lover of ego,kudi,owo he does not love her and should runnnn, vamoose or disappear sharp sharp. The ball is in your court.
ReplyDeleteLet me ask the popular questions here. Did you see the signs before marriage or he changed after the wedding.
I feel for you poster,do think and make the best decision not just for you but your kid as well. Good luck.
Lovelace.
As it stands, I don't advise my fellow women to be too faithful in marriage.If he cheats and you are also cheating, it won't really be painful but if you've been faithful and he's cheating, you can die in your sleep. Please women, enjoy sex outside marriage and thank me later. Nobody should even come for me cause life has no duplicate.stop advising women alone to pray for him to change.Men should pray too for us women to change.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂
DeleteDiana the adulteress with a cup filled with blood.
DeleteWomen, heed not to her advice.
....Are you married, single, in a relationship? either way, pity yourself and the followers you are about to drag down with your "negative" advice.
DeletePoster please, let your peace of mind be your priority.
ReplyDeleteYou see most men, from when they started to f*ck in this life, they just continue to f*ck as if Dem never see f*ck f*ck before.
Dem see new to to now, Dem wan f*ck.
I no even know wetin dey inside Toto sef
Hmmm it is well
ReplyDeleteMadam poster abeg no forgive him..pack ur things and leave his house go with ur baby and d liltllgirl,go back to ur family in the village.stay there another man that doesn't cheat will come and marry you.
ReplyDeleteYou are very funny.What a sarcastic comment!
DeleteMY DEAR SISTER DON'T LEAVE STAY IN YOUR MARRIAGE AND START VIGIL PRAYERS
ReplyDelete