Hmmmmmm,na wah!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BORROWING MONEY FROM A LOVER...
I've been dating Mr X for close to 4 years now and in those years I've been financially independent, he doesn't give me money and I don't ask too.
About two months ago,i made some bad financial investments which i incurred some debts,settling it cost me my life savings and I'm down to the last 1/6th to clear. I asked Mr X(he's doing well)that i needed to borrow money from him cos i had to clear off these debts and start afresh,he said nothing. about a week ago,we were hanging out with his friend when i asked the friend for the loan,the friend was like "I shouldn't even say loan,that he should give me the money".
Later on that night,he asked about it and i told him everything and he said nothing conclusive, i took his indifference in good faith. He's now doing giveaway for others (total amount i calculated is more than the loan) and I feel somehow about it. like why is he so indifferent...
I'm starting to realise that in this past 4 yrs,he has never sent me a dime. am i exaggerating Bv's?
*Madam,its his money and you cant force him to give you anything oh.....In all of those four years,have you ever given him a dime?why must it always be the man giving and the woman does not?Nigerian mentality!!!
*Madam,its his money and you cant force him to give you anything oh.....In all of those four years,have you ever given him a dime?why must it always be the man giving and the woman does not?Nigerian mentality!!!
Please drop this thinking and dont assume that he owes you anything cos you are dating him........
Yes,you are exaggerating and overreacting!....If you need a loan,go to the Bank or give him time,he is probably thinking about your request.....
Aka aradite
ReplyDeleteIn every rule, there is an exception! . Stella this is one of those exceptional cases where you throw away that it's my money mentality and help the person you claim to love. It's different if the guy doesn't have
Deletethat's not a good sign because if the roles were reversed you would want to help him. It's a slippery slope being with a man that doesn't spend "his" money on you, he won't buy you gifts or make you feel special, he may not even take care of children when you guys have them. The type of man that will only pay half of the household bills and expect you to use your salary to cover the rest. Think about it very well because it won't ever stop.
DeleteIn 4 years you didn't receive a dime. You say he is indifferent to your struggles.
DeleteHmmmmm what exactly are you two doing together?
Stella YOU ARE WRONG!
DeleteWhat is love if you cannot give or help?!!!
My bf borrows money in millions from me and pays back. I don't borrow from him but if I really need his help he comes through when I ask.
Real aka araldite. 4 years and he has never helped u out? So if he needs help do u help him out? I beg fashi the guy. It’s not that he is stingy but he is simply not supportive!!
DeleteStella mbanu... The guy is a bad market abeg, I can't deal.
DeletePlease close your legs like a mermaid o.
Stella mbanu... The guy is a bad market abeg, I can't deal.
DeletePlease close your legs like a mermaid o.
Aka aradite
Poster, borrow money from someone else and find a way to end that relationship.
DeleteTo cut a long story short, that guy doesn’t love you. If you marry that guy you go hear am!
He seems like the type that will leave you to be footing the bills at home while he does ‘big man’ outside.
End it please
SDK Please you are so wrong, just stop it, how can I be dating u and I need help and you can not help me whatttttttt, if he doesn’t have is understandable
DeleteIn this case please she is entitle to his help
Stella, I no support u o. 4 years and nothing? The guy is stingy abeg and insensitive. Red flag. Even people wey I no date wan give me money
DeleteI disagree with you Stella. It is said that you can give without loving but you can't love without giving.
DeleteThe man's aloofness and insensitivity is unordinary.
Stella, you are so wrong that I don't believe we both read the same chronicle. Poster, he doesn't love you, please walk away. The strongest expression of love is GIVING. Even God expressed His love for mankind by giving us His Son, Jesus. You can't help but give to the one you love. People spend according to priority and if you are not his priority, you shouldn't be in a relationship with him.
DeletePoster, don’t you think it was tactless of you to ask your man’s friend for money in his presence?
DeleteHe must have thought u were belittling him.
Anyway, you might have given off “miss independent” vibes early in your relationship that’s why he doesn’t feel obligated to help you.
If you both are lovers as you said, I see nothing wrong in him helping you when you're down except there's something you're not telling us.
ReplyDeleteThe guy doesn't love her simple. I can't do that to someone I LOVE
DeleteI hate stingy men,you're not exaggerating,just dump him.
Delete15:20 you couldn't have put it better.
DeleteMy question is, what are you doing dating for 4 years? Are you planning on getting married?
DeleteMy Dear there is no love....ooo. Just dump him very slowly, let it do him like film trick. This one pain me.
DeleteYOU ARE NOT EXAGGERATING.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are meant to invest in and build each other up.
If my partner sees me struggling in any aspect and he knows he can be of help but refuses with the ideology that he doesn't owe me anything, then he should just move on.
If both of you end up knotting the nuptials, he will likely continue from where he stopped in the relationship.
He is very insensitive and inconsiderate, don't trust him one bit.
Gbam!
DeleteHe doesn't love her at all, Stella which one be Nigerian mentality?
DeleteTwin Squared don't mind Stella. 🙄
DeleteYou're right @ Twin squared.... Stellakoko, that conclusion is not in all cases....
Delete@Gifty, I wonder o! We are not Europeans o, we are wired differently. Our culture, mentality etc are different.
DeleteMen take care of women (the women contribute as their hand reach) and when the chips are down with bros, vice versa in reciprocation and appreciation of the kindness with which he treated the woman. Its kinda team work, the man take the lead.
🤣🤣😹 He will be like,i ain't your pupsy and i don't owe a dime...
ReplyDeleteNo you are not exaggerating, he's stingy and inconsiderate. I will advise you have a rethink.
ReplyDeleteVery very inconsiderate guy.
DeleteExcept you are a spendthrift or your boyfriend warned you about the investments that went wrong but you didn't listen. You know all these money doubling greedy schemes, other than this I will never be in a relationship with a man that has but won't help me when I am distressed. This is not entitlement mentality. If the reverse is the case, I will support him.
DeletePeople help strangers so what are we even talking about? Something isn't right about your relationship.
And selfish....
DeleteDear poster, dont mind Stella o, if the guy does not help you in time of need, then he is damn stingy. A guy that does not have the initiative to even give you any money at all in 4 years of relationship will never spare a penny on you and ur kids if u eventually get married to him. Period.
ReplyDeleteGbam! He is very stingy, but I think you let it linger too long and I doubt if you can correct him now.
DeleteLove is now hard now adays oh, when I used to know love, we were selfless towards each other.
ReplyDeleteNow ehn, it's now mymymy, yoursyoursyours😕😕🤐
It is not I tell you. What is hard nowadays is not love. What is love without giving? Those who are selfless are still selfless and those who are not are simply not. I never ask for money but if you see me struggling and turn a blind eye, I become resentful and let’s just say that is the beginning of the end of whatever. Sister poster, you are simply in a relationship with yourself for how he is there doing giveaways, he is also giving to other babes. I don’t blame girls who would tax the hell out of their men, I just simply can’t.
DeleteMadam, are you sure this man loves u
ReplyDeleteHow can someone loves you without feeling your pains
Even if you have been doing Mrs independent
There is no love without giving
Especially now u need help
Even ordinary friends without strings attached still help each other talkless of someone who profess love to u
Don't ask him for that loan again
But if he gives u the money cos maybe he is taking his time to think about it tyhen take it.
All the best
My dear, if you fall on hard times and your lover is less concerned, it speaks volumes..this isnt about relying on his money, a true lover will be willing to be of help to you,financially or otherwise without you even asking
ReplyDeleteThe guy doesn’t send you, you’re dating yourself. A man that loves you that knows you’re having financial trouble and has seen how much you have gone to sort it out, will give you the last part of it.
ReplyDeleteBorrow yourself sense now and exit that relationship, this man doesn’t love you even a tiny bit. This is not a case of forming miss independent, your man should be dependable.
Poster don't continue wasting your time. I wouldn't even pray for you to marry this type. Others will enjoy, but you inside will see nwii. And people outside will not understand your hardship. He doesn't even sound serious sef, like he is not into you.
DeleteJeeeez. I can't even believe you typed that Stella. A friend in need 8sva friend indeed!!! If I can't rely on you then what are my doing with you? He can't loan his girl friend of 4 years money but can do give away??? Charity begins at home joor. It's not about Nigerian mentality Stella. Even white people take care of their girlfriends and wife financially no matter how independent they are!!! It shows love and committed!!! This poster is even considerate. Why will I be with a man who doesn t spend a dime on me for 4 yearssss.
ReplyDeleteDont mind stella,shows her standard in a relationship.nwunye onye ocha!abeg shift one side.You are in a marriage situationship if that your red pen is the crap you have to say.
DeleteNo Mind Stella
Delete@15:14
Delete"Charity begins at home?" really? Who told you that his girlfriend is his "home?" Has he married her? If that man is still single, his home is his father's house. A lot of you girls simply give men sex and think that that qualifies you to be a beneficiary of his income?
Dont mind stella...always typing rubbish when it comes to issues like this...even the oyibo people you are trying to copy assit their girlfriends or wife...
DeletePoster you have been dating yourself. Please don't listen to Stella Abeg. I know how much I collected from hubby pre marriage, although I spent on him too. Please 4 years is too much to been insensitive. He doesn't see a future with you.
DeleteIf you don't have boyfriend you won't live your life ? Or having a boyfriend now is your ATM
ReplyDeleteWhat are u saying
DeletePlease put yourself in her shoe or if the reverse was the case and the babe refused to help what will u say
Let me enlighten your minute mind- these days women are the breadwinners ok. From their father house to their husbands house.
DeleteThese days the only thing most men can boast of is prick we no dey even stand.
Anon 16:56 hahaha and is that a good thing?
DeleteYou just spoke in the nonsense @goke...
DeleteYou just spoke in the nonsense @goke...
DeleteThis anon guy go stingy ooo
DeleteWhat is this one yarning, so has she not been surviving before??ehn.So a supposed friend can't help you out if need be then tell me what are friends for.
DeletePoster please reject this guy 1 thousand times in your life,amen.
Before you all start chanting " I hate stingy men," how many of you ladies have ever given your fiances (not even boyfriend) or husband anything? So who are the stingy ones?
ReplyDeleteMany women give their husbands and fiances my dear, in this Naija, there are many female breadwinners, they may not come out to say it to avoid shame and gossip. There are stingy ones but many generous ones too. Change your circle if all girls around you are stingy.
DeleteMany of us, even ordinary male friends too.
DeleteLet me tell you now that Nigerian men borrow very well from their girlfriends especially if she's a career woman or professional.
I don't want to mention amounts here,please.
I gave my hubby 43k the first day I met him 11years ago, we weren't even dating, he was in need, I have what can solve his problem at that time and I helped out without expecting him to pay back. This is someone I didn't even know where he lived. So my dear anonymous, so many ladies can do much more.
DeleteThat guy is stingy and inconsiderate.
Ladies have been doing a lot for their so called men and husbands only to be rewarded with disrespect and cheating. So me I no dey do again. It is not even the natural order for a man to be collecting money from woman so why would it even be brought up
Delete@14:23
Delete"Natural order?" said who? Please come back and explain who made that your rule of natural order. When God said that the fruit of the Spirit is kindness, did he state that only men should be kind?
Mstchew.
DeleteIf only you know the extent some ladies can go, some even give stupidly. You people will just be making blanket statements, you have no clue.
Alot of women are breadwinners.what more can u do for a man when u feed,cloth,house him,take care of everything in the house.if u are stingy woman,abeg talk for yourself
DeleteSee another stingo, you don't understand the natural order abi? Your type will be competing with his woman instead of supporting her.
DeleteMy elder sis makes money more than her hubby and yes she gifts him money most of the time but you won't know unless you are an insider like me.
DeleteSo my dear many women are now the breadwinner in their Homes but they keep it secret so as to protect the husbands name.
Goan ask ,you will be surprised howmany women do
Nerve sent you a dime,as in not even #100 recharge card? Upon all the advice our bv's give us here,you haven't learnt one or two lessons? Let me shout wow! Wow! Wow! Like shooter gyl
ReplyDeleteMe ke?
DeleteTruth be told, if he's not spending on you, he's spending on others. I'm a lady but if my bf is in a financial dilemma and I can loan him money to stabilise him, I'll do that without even blinking unless he's an opportunist. Even countries get loans from other countries, so what's wrong with her aski g her bf for loan?
ReplyDeleteMy friend lent her then boyfriend some millions when his business ran into trouble and his elder brothers where stressing him to pay back their investments and profit.
DeleteThat guy ended up getting married to her though he initially didn't want to because she was a couple of years older.
That was his best decision because today they are doing so well and have other businesses.
STELLA, NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE ACTUALLY SUPERWOMEN!
Stella pls stay out of this.
ReplyDeletePoster, Love is caring a lot about someone.
It's 4 years right? And from your tone, there's no commitment.
Read the lines again and Walk away if you think it ain't worth staying.
Did you say his friend is willing to help, get that help ASAP before he makes his friend change his mind.
Lmao!!!
DeleteNa real Stella stay out of this.
Even abroad, men take care their women, ka ofodu kwa nke Nigeria
@15:17
DeleteFour years of supplying cookies?
Free cookies. Men don't buy cows whose milk they get for free.
DeletePlease leave Stella and her abroad mindset.pls that guy does not love nor care for you,if it's his sibling will he treat them that way.The way a man is seeking for a home maker,a woman to give him peace and take care of the home likewise a woman wants to be sure the man she is with is not stingy and those are the ways he will show it.she needs to be sure he will be there for her,you are both suppose to be there for each other when the CHIPs are down.if you love a friend whom is not even your Lover,and you hear they are going through a problem you can solve,if you love them solving it should not be an issue.
ReplyDeleteWe need to kill this mindset of wanting to help your lover,you. Think left, right and center whereas if there is not strings attached you will do it impromptu.pls let him go, gradually withdraw.woman use your brain now.marriahe is not easy,it enhances the character someone displayed whilst dating.
STELLA PLEASE, SAY THIS STATEMENTS BY TENTH, .... 1. "The way a man is seeking for a home maker,a woman to give him peace and take care of the home likewise a woman wants to be sure the man she is with is not stingy and those are the ways he will show it."
Delete2. "We need to kill this mindset of wanting to help your lover,you. Think left, right and center whereas if there is no strings attached you will do it impromptu."
It is not even Abroad mentality. Haven't you seen people in abroad giving.
DeleteThis one is Stella mentality.
Stella please dont use your stingy husband as a standard.i have been married to a white man for more than a decade he enjoys taking care of all the Bills and expenditure.mind u I work but he likes being incharge when it comes to expenditure.
DeleteDID YOU SAY MY STINGY HUSBAND?I ACTUALLY ENABLED YOUR COMMENT TO REPLY YOU:::I AM NOT YOU THAT IS MARRIED TO A PAUPER OH::MY HUSBAND DOES NOT NEED TO GIVE ME MONEY:HE GAVE ME A DUPLICATE CARD TO ALL HIS ACCOUNTS:::SHEEDIOT
DeleteAnon 18:31,that was totally uncalled for. You shouldn't say that about Stella's husband. Stella, you come across as uncouth sometimes... Learn to rein in your temper please.. You are a known personality. It doesn't tell well of you when you speak like this..
DeleteSo Stella if you have total access to your husband’s money, why give this kind of advice to this girl na?
DeleteStella, no vex abeg. I no be the anon o.
DeleteBut you sef see your advice naw. So you get duplicate card of your husband accounts yet see as you finish the poster. She get legit worry naw. Boyfriend of 4 years neva give her small change even on top serious matter. 4 years na beans? Their mate wey marry the year dem start go don dey do 3 years anniversary with pikin or pikins sef. No be here we read chronicles of wives wey their husband no dey try. You forget that chronicle of the doctor wey upon all her generosity, her own husband and family be dey plan second wife? Naija women dey see o. And this poster go hear am if she no waka comot for this situationship.
@anon 18:31, why involve Stella's husband naw? Stella na our person o. Na her blog we dey. No insult against her or her husband allowed.
Sdk married a giver who knows the value of giving and keeping his family happy.
DeleteSdk, I understand the angle you're commenting from.
Sdk is an advocate of been an independent woman in all spheres of life.
If she wasn't in any relationship,there're other options she would considered other than seeking out a selfish and an inconsiderate being.
But you see that poster's boyfriend, he isn't a giver and it will definitely be a major problem for her if this situationship ends up in marriage.
very unusual that you've been in a relationship for 4 years and you're asking him for help and he is dragging his feet. is this someone you want to marry?
ReplyDeleteStella,there's love in sharing and giving. If a man loves you,he must give you something even if its just hundred naira card. These type of men won't also give to the children after marriage, abi nor be here we read a man who eats even biscuits and hid in a room,only to come out to give the children the nylon,this is how it starts
ReplyDeletePoster,ur man is stingy.very very stingy.
ReplyDeleteWhy will you bring up the loan discussion with his friend.
ReplyDeleteLovelace
Prolly because she needed him to Know she was in dire need.
DeleteProlly because she needed him to Know she was in dire need.
DeleteWhy are you people like this on this blog. If the reverse is the case most of you will be shouting that woman should not borrow the guy money. That he should go and hustle. Now most of you are equating love to Money. Is the guy her ATM. Please we should be fair when we judge issues. If she had no boyfriend won't she look elsewhere to get a loan and pay back in instalments. I used to have this mentality and I got burnt on several occasions. Look at you now having sleepless night over someone's money.
DeleteAunty better wise up and shake of this I must chop my boyfriend money. Remember people are wired differently. What works for others may not work for you.. Stella's advice is on point ojare.
Lovelace
Because she's in a fix. Must have been unburdening her mind.
DeleteYou don't know the circumstances.
Lovelace I no agree with this one oh
DeleteI wouldn’t support anyone who would say a woman should not give to a spouse in need either. What is the relationship for then.
Even the Bible says two are better than one because if one falls, the other will help him rise.
Poster pick race abeg
As a man thinketh, so is he.
DeleteLovelace you lied.
DeleteBvs don't advice women not to borrow who they 're in a rship with and the partner is in dire need of money.
Stop it ,they Only advices women against goldiggers and not someone in this long-time relationship
Stella you are wrong here. Why shouldn't he assist his lover and instead he prefers doing giveaway. The girl doesn't ask often. I feel he doesn't love her sef
ReplyDeleteI suspect she is dating herself
DeleteHmmm...Stella, this advice no follow abeg. How can you be with someone for 4 years and no financial contribution from you, whether male or female? And your partner is struggling to pay a loan but you pretend to be deaf and be doing giveaway of an even higher amount.
ReplyDeletePoster, I can't dictate for you but I can't deal with stingy and selfish people. I give as much as I can to even those not related to me (a personal covenant with God). Any partner that will see me struggling and look away is not for me.
Lol @ Stella's comment.
ReplyDeletePoster, this is my sincere opinion, a man that didn't give you a dime for four years is a no for me. And, here are my reasons: You can give without loving, but you can't love without giving. It has nothing to do with you being financially independent or not. How can you date someone for four years and there was no monetary gift exchange at all. It's a two-way thing, it's either you are one of those women that do not like to accept favors from their partners "I'm self-sufficient and all that" and you have unconsciously taught him not to act this way, or he is just simply selfish. Either way, both are not healthy for the relationship if you want a good relationship. And, yes, I'm all for a woman having a thriving career and all that, but showering your babe with money and gifts, no matter how well she earns is important. Even if it's a recharge card of 2,000 naira. It's not the amount,it's just the gesture and the act of love. These issues lead to serious problems in marriage.
Don't ask him again. If I were you, won't talk about it again, but will seriously consider the relationship because if a friend reaches out to me on any subject, I will ask again and again, to see if the issue is sorted out, and if I don't have the money,I'll let my friend know the situation of things with me. How much more a partner?
And, giving is both ways, in a romantic relationship, both parties are expected to help each other in trying times.
Stella please stop it, it has nothing to do with Nigerian mentality, women all over the world prefer a man that can provide, why is she dating him if he can’t have her back in difficult times, poster why are you even dating someone for a whole four years and forming independent woman 🙄, men love to spend on their women, if he is not spending it on you then he is definitely spending it on someone else
ReplyDeleteYour last two phrases are 100% correct.... That's a fact
DeleteIf he doesn't give you anything then you should start thinking of how you will be writing chronicles if marry him.
ReplyDeleteSo Stella, if it was you, you'd be very happy or comfortable in a relationship where your partner is capable but cannot help you.
ReplyDelete#EndStinginess.
...but will not help you.
DeletePls poster don't mind Stella o, if he can't you in your time of need then no need being in relationship with him.
ReplyDeleteBet e can fuck but can pay for a lady rhat doesn't demand
ReplyDeleteSo she is a prostitute na. Back for ground money for hand. Na so you dey live your life.
DeleteAnon 16:17 and so??!!? What is your bloody point? U expect women to get their wombs shifted and their dignity compromised by one man that may not even marry them for nothing in return. You expect them to settle for less? You can tell your sisters that bull crap when you see them sha. Not me
DeleteStella please post my comment. If you had dignity you won't be opening legs for any man. They already settled for less by not setting their priorities right. You can continue to allow useless men shift your womb and tear your vagina,it is your cup of tea. By God's grace my beautiful sisters know better and won't disgrace themselves.
Delete19:11 I'm all for your first four statements but you see that last one, no.
DeleteYou don't follow your sisters around to know if they are dignified around guys or not.
They have secrets you know nothing about.
Anon 16:17 u dey talk like person wey get empty head. So dating a guy for 4 yrs n he can't even open wallet to take care of his woman, that one makes sense to you abi. You must be a dimwit. At least prostitutes get something in return for opening legs n being used but thanks to your yeye advise all your sisters will get for years of having their vaginas torn by yeye worthless men will be "your husband will marry you but not me" your sisters will be okay with men taking their money and using them for sex because they have an idiot for an elder sibling. Congratulations
DeleteStella, your red pen was NOT needed here. PLEASE !
ReplyDeleteStella abeg leave that thing o the man is heartless.How can you be so insensitive to someone you have been togather for the past 4years what are friends for?
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeleteEven ceasar wouldn’t support Stella
Too much of everything is bad
ReplyDeleteStella our yourself in her shoes
How would you feel if your partner can’t help you yet doing giveaways to strangers and still claim to love and cherish you
I doubt if there’s love in that relationship... obviously, you wouldn’t do this to someone you are genuinely in love with
ReplyDeleteAfter dating a guy for 3years, even Kobo he no dash me. But fucks me daily, told me he wil marry me but never came close to my ppl. No be person tell me to carry my load and evaporate and condense in my Papa's house.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, poster, u are wasting ur time. He wil never value u cos there's no suffering on ur head, such men can just pack up and leave their marriage.
You for continue fucking because he point gun for your head. Rubbish
DeleteAnon 16:18, why sound so bitter. So u have never made a mistake in ur life? Na ur talk dey make God kip u I'm similar position. Enjoy ur 600 yrs of onugbu
DeleteAnon 15:55, tank God u realized u were in a bad place. May God replenish ur loss and bless u more.
DeleteAnon 16:18, na ur type life dey show pepper but pretence no gree u live a fine life. Go and protest, at least dem no use gun force u vote Bubu
DeleteLol, look at them lining up to defend what is not indefensible. She didn't know she had a house and sweet father before. I bet you she has not learnt anything. Na you 600years go hold for work@18:15.
DeleteStella , I weak for you o. that red ink no follow abeg
ReplyDeleteStella Noooooooooooooooooooooo. Not this time. I don't agree with you at all. Meanwhile poster, check your attitude, you hear? It might have something to do with your attitude. Men hate being emasculated.
ReplyDeleteStella you made sense. Relationship is give and take. If you don't give why expecting to receive but if you give and don't receive when needed then it's not a balance relationship.Quit going into a relationship with financial expectations from Men. Them no be una Papa.
ReplyDeleteWho is this one?
DeleteLol. This one just want osho free wife without any investment
DeleteStella , I weak for you o. that red ink no follow abeg
ReplyDeleteStella , I weak for you o. that red ink no follow abeg
ReplyDeleteStella , I weak for you o. that red ink no follow abeg
ReplyDeleteA man who loves you will naturally give to you! Periodt!! And btw, you do not need to ask him.
ReplyDeletePoster you are dating yourself....my opinion, stick around until he helps you, pay him back his money when you get it and bounce, I mean leave his black ass😐
ReplyDeleteA Nigerian man has been dating you for 4 years but has never done anything financial for you? Aunty, you are dating yourself. If he isn't spending on you,he's spending on another woman. True story.
ReplyDeletePlease let's be honest with ourselves. Single ladies, please look well. A man who loves you will not see spending on you as anything. It will come to him naturally to care for you. If your boyfriend doesn't do that, nne you're dating yourself. Don't enter marriage with them or you will suffer.
Even that man that is aka gum will open his hand for a woman who has him as her mumu button.
So, Poster end the relationship and move on with your life. Sort out your issues without him. You're an adult.
I don't know if I am okay. I just got a little money and all I can think of is lending my boyfriend the money to fund a project I warned him not to get into. I can't even explain it and to think that I am owing a family member some money still. But I know he needs the money.
ReplyDeletePlease you are not okay, pay your debt. Thanks
DeleteStella,your thinking atimes enh... it's very wrong for your boyfriend to be doing giveaway to others when you the girlfriend are in debt and had asked for help from him without any positive response. Nne,free yourself. If he doesn't want to give you,fine.. but know from now onwards that you're ALONE in that ship. Don't even wanna call it a relationship. Smh
ReplyDeleteThe man doesn't send you. It's different if he doesn't have much. But him doing giveaway witot loaning or giving u the money shows he's not a stingy guy.Hmmmm babe think twice o. People do say your stingy boyfriend is another woman's ATM machine. God'll give you breakthrough in your finances.
ReplyDeleteSame people that will put you on blast for having a Nigerian girl's entitled mentality will still be the person to ask you if you did not notice his stingy lack of financial commitment signs while dating if you marry this buffoon of a guy.
ReplyDeleteHe reminds me so much of my dad that will give my mum #500-1,000 to cook soup for a family of 10 while he goes about dashing strangers plenty money in order to be praised for his philanthropic ways. He will prioritize random people's financial needs over that of his family & many people adored him for his "give them give them nature".
This is one of the signs that I look out for in relationship, men like that are freaking manipulative.
They are not stingy because they are broke, they are stingy because they are just a wicked soul like your president.
What's love without empathy & sacrifice?
Cj.
Stella, this your red ink no make am at all! What is wrong in helping someone you claim to love?Nawa o.. babe you better free that guy.
ReplyDeletePlease do not Listen to Stella. Oyibo mentality is worrying her.
ReplyDeleteA man who is dating you and is not concerned about your financial downturn is "missed call". He will show you 'nwii' in marriage.
My dear, abort mission. This one no follow.
Oyinbo men spend on the women they cherish and love so forget about oyinbo mentality. What's more Nigerian man that spend on women anyhow. This man Is using style to tell poster that he sees no future with her
DeletePoster I strongly feel that this guy doesn't love or like you I swear, cos once someone loves you, he will be willing to sacrify to make you happy,if he doesn't have, then is different,but for him to have and is not willing to help you,please leave him cos such person won't attend to you and the children's need in the future.
ReplyDeleteStella this your red pen no follow at all.
ReplyDeletePoster, you aren't exaggerating, you've been with him for four yrs and have been independent, now that you encountered a problem he feels unconcerned. If he's given to other people it means he isn't stingy, I feel like he's tired of the relationship and he's using this means to push you away. Better dump him fast.
Stella and this her funny mentality. You are dating someone for 4 years and you ask for financial help and youre saying she doesnt have a right to ask. So why are they in a relationship? Yet he can help other people he is not in a relationship with. When they eventually get married he will continue like that.
DeleteI don't think stingy is the word to describe this man, 'mean' is the word. He has never given you money in 4 years and this one time you are asking, he is giving to others but you? It's time to make that big decision
ReplyDeleteStella you sound like someone in an emotionally abusive marriage...always projecting ur ish on women. I guess you are the one who funds your household..you're married to yourself Stella...stop this rubbish advise..
ReplyDeleteHaunty stella I'm going to assume you were having a rough time that affected your thoughts...
ReplyDeleteC'mmon even if he doesn't owe her shit, does it mean he has no love for her???
If you can't provide instant help and support for who you love as long as it's in your capacity, forget it, that's no love
SDK, this is a very wrong way of reasoning. How she feels has nothing to do with her being female, that's not the argument. If he doesn't have the means fine, but for someone who is doing giveaway but has conveniently turned a blind eye to your struggles, hmmm, check it.
ReplyDeleteShould it be the guy in this situation, my sentiments would be the same. Dear Poster, I hate to conclude but it seems the brother doesn't care. Anyone who cares would do what's in their means to ease your burdens, particularly because it isn't an everyday thing! It has nothing to do with entitlement. You can't bank on this bros.