Update: HUSBAND WITH A SECOND AGENDA
Dear Stella, thank you for your platform. I know I owe your blog visitors an update on how things are with me now.
I'm sorry that the update might not be an interesting one but I had to do what was best for my family and myself.
Below is the link to my first chronicle.
READ ORIGINAL CHRONICLE HERE
Growing up in a loving catholic home shaped my perception of marriage to be one of FOREVER.
I have never been confrontational, I love my peace and I love giving it back. I also believe that children should be brought up in a loving, balanced and peaceful home; at least my parents gave me that and I owe my children that too.
I've had these past months to reflect on my life and had to tell myself the sad truth. My husband needed sparks in his life/marriage that I wasn't giving him. I guess my life was/is regimented and pragmatic (though I thought that he wanted that too).
Truth be told, he was a good husband to me and a great father. My decisions were hinged on this.
Where we are now:
I got to know that their(the in laws)anger stemmed from the fact that I was always too busy to attend their family function in the village. That they've tried letting me know that as a wife they needed me to be very involved in what their family was doing (ie, some family weddings and that I only came on the day of the occasion. Also, their father's last birthday party that I came the next day after the party to take my kids home..etc)
After all that was said, I knew we've come to the end of a chapter of my life.
I thank Dollar Goddess as I took her advice to heart.
After speaking to my priest, I got my sister and Dad involved (we didn't want to involve my Mom as it would break her heart and she may want to confront him when I wasn't ready).
When they(my family) saw my resolve to end the marriage, we contacted a family lawyer and friend to help tie up loose ends.
I quickly moved out of the house when he travelled home after the lockdown and moved my kids in with my parents. My family planned their travel to coincide with my husband's travel. Our family meet theirs to return the bride price and serve divorce papers(which they refused). That was when my hubby knew something was up. All these while we've been cordial. I had to forward all my evidence to support my quest for a divorce to him. He had to quickly come back to our residence where he met my absence.
His family were prevailed to take back the bride price and divorce papers when an uncle threatened to take them to a powerful village deity, who would then bring it to them.
I've searched the scripture to know if I was sinning by ending the marriage but I'm yet to come across anything in that regard.
I contacted the local parish in the village and quietly handed over the school and the title to the school to them. I also got them in charge of sharing foodstuffs to their villagers (I take my corporal work of mercy/charity work seriously). The school is now run by nuns. His family put up a fight but lost when they saw that the property wasn't in their name.
They've tried reaching out to me but I'm not in that space now.
We've met to resolve on the way forward. At first he threatened to take my children away from me when he saw that his pleas were on deaf ears. He blamed his parents, the devil and I was having none of it.
I agreed to leave the house we both lived in for him as a condition for him to agree on a 70-30 custody rights, the former being for me. Like I said earlier, he is a great father and I want my kids not to miss out of the love of their father.
We've dotted the lines in the presence of our lawyers in order to have a speedy and pleasant dissolution of our marriage. The process is still with the courts.
Am I happy? No! But I knew I would have been miserable staying. I may even hurt him and me in the process. Our children deserves better. We are all in a better space now.
I thank you all for the thought and prayers.
I agreed to leave the house we both lived in for him as a condition for him to agree on a 70-30 custody rights, the former being for me. Like I said earlier, he is a great father and I want my kids not to miss out of the love of their father.
We've dotted the lines in the presence of our lawyers in order to have a speedy and pleasant dissolution of our marriage. The process is still with the courts.
Am I happy? No! But I knew I would have been miserable staying. I may even hurt him and me in the process. Our children deserves better. We are all in a better space now.
I thank you all for the thought and prayers.
WOW.ALL the best...
God bless you
ReplyDeleteWell I am in tandem with your resolution. Better than one day inflicting harm or killing him due to anger and frustration from the betrayal.
DeleteYour Chronicle is one of the most powerful this year if not the most, more than 300 comments and I remember a lot of people wanted feedback.
DeleteYou are a brave woman but I hope you took SDK advice by not doing any medical harm .
✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️
I am happy you had the courage to do what you did. The family is wicked simple! All those excuses they listed are ridiculous. So with everything you did for them, their 'anger' is that you don't come a day before occasions. Do they want you to come and cook the party rice or what? Let their son go and marry the new wife na. Useless people. Nothing beats a supportive family. I am happy your family and uncle stood behind you and made them accept the bride price and divorce papers. If they are not wicked, why would they hesitate to accept it when they want a new wife for their son. Their plan was to ruin you but God said no. Stay alive for your kids please. Staying in that marriage with a co wife wouldn't have ended well. 2nd wives are always trouble and the last thing you want is yo have her kids competing with your kids for things you worked hard for.
DeleteAbsolutely, poster you would be fine, look at all what you were able achieve in 38 years, your kids, professional work, investments etc, you will also scale through this, and look back, and be happy you made the decision to leave. All the best
Delete😮😳I wish you all the best
DeleteE-hugs!You did great!You will be fine. You are a strong woman!. You shouldn't have left the house for him though. He can pretend to take the kids for a weekend and run. I am just not comfortable with him having access to the kids. Love and light 😍😍😍😍
DeleteThis is very sad. But you will come out strong and happy that you made the right decision
DeleteWow!!! May God comfort and help you Ma’am, you made the right but very difficult decision.
DeleteI love this poster, and I hope a lot of women learnt one or more lessons from this. Work hard and don’t be dependent on your spouse else u would sit back and swallow all the rubbish ur husband and in-law will dish out to u. Get urself something doing and be that independent lady up there 👆🏽.
DeleteFinally..... Food don land
ReplyDeleteJust read the original chronicle (thank you for taking my advice about providing previous chronicle link) and it was a blockbuster. What!!!
DeleteAll the best...You will be fine!!! Hmm Lessons learnt!! Come and take from me 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 E-hugs
ReplyDeleteThank poster for the update. It is well with you and your kids.
ReplyDeleteThanks poster for the update. It is well with you and your kids.
ReplyDeleteYou search the Scriptures and you involve your "uncles' powerful deities" to threaten them?
ReplyDeleteYou really take God to be a fool, right?
Read again, she said her uncle threatened to take them to a powerful village deity (which could be empty threat to ensure they accept the bride price for all we know). What is wrong with you?!!! Always looking for something negative to latch on to.
DeleteGive your advice and move.
Fool! Any mpama! She said the uncle threatened! Idiot
DeleteThat was the one that amazed me in the whole show o. Why do people attempt to mix two immiscible?
DeleteGo and sit down or better still read to understand. She did not involve the uncle's deities. The uncle threatened them that he will take them to those deities. Na she get her uncle mouth?
DeleteNo be you again????
Delete@Dainty
DeleteDid she tell us they were "empty threats?" Why sticking out for her?
It was a threat, a diabolic threat. Period.
When you read to judge and criticize you always sound like an idiot. Who are you to jude her stance with Christ?
Delete@16:43
DeleteAs a very good Christian she is, did she tell her uncles not to invoke their deities?
Oho, you do not worship the deities but you benefit from their worship huh?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣their threats and fears secures a divorce for you. "All the best."
Some people just lack comprehension and they don't know it or refuse to learn.
DeleteAnd dictionary is 100 naira o! On mobile phone it is free.
DeleteAsk your neighbour to define threat, 'egbe'.
Oh dear, I remembered your chronicle... Your husband lost a very good woman! You're among the virtuous women referred to in the Holy Book.
ReplyDeleteI like how you calmly calculated your movement with your family and priest.
God will grant you strength and courage to take care of yourself and your children.
Good you're granting him visitation rights.
The Lord is your strength. Better you put an end to it than becoming a murderer.
Well said
DeleteWell said. How can a man loose such woman. Some men sha
DeleteIt is sheer GREED that makes men like this loose good women.
DeleteHe was bringing in 60k, the woman was bringing in almost 1 million. Buying property in their names, bought a school for her husbands wife, put inlaws on stipend and so much more, and dude wanted to marry wife number 2 because 1 son was not enough 'to inherit all the riches'LMAO!!! Untop of the 60k he was providing.
LMAOOOO a dafter man has not been begotten!!! Tueh!!!
Poster, God see you through.
Goodluck madam!! Wise decision
ReplyDeleteChai.
ReplyDeleteMay you find peace poster.
But why is he begging, he wanted to have 2 wives.
Now that you are giving him space to marry the new wife in peace he is begging.
Begging for what exactly.
Because his money spinner is gone, him eye Don clear.
DeleteWoooow. I'm happy you made this wise decision. Now he blames his parents,and the devil, but he refuses to put some on his head. 🙄🙄. I wish you all the best, dear poster. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteQuoting you;
ReplyDelete"I've searched the scripture to know if I was sinning by ending the marriage but I'm yet to come across anything in that regard.
"
Quoting (Jesus in) the Scriptures;
I hate divorce says the Lord Mal. 2:16
Matthew 19:3-12 Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for just any reason?” “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’” And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” “Then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away?” they asked. Jesus replied, “Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.” Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!” “Not everyone can accept this statement,” Jesus said. “Only those whom God helps. Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
Please, you can go ahead with your scheduled divorce but do not bring
God and the Holy Scriptures into it.
🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Ang, you can divorce for adultery. Her husband cheated on her and broke the marriage covenant
DeleteKeep quiet abeg! You are very insensitive..You don't even take time to digest issues before you spill your nonsense..I pray God heals you from this fanatism that has possessed you
DeleteYour brand of Christianity is really selective. Did you preach this much to the man who had issues with his wife..
DeleteI forgot, you are ANG.
And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”
Delete...If this were your daughter you'd advice her to stay? Even with proof that her husband has been UNFAITHFUL?
WHY ANG WHY?
@16:16 Please remind us the "proofs" again. Maybe I have forgotten the chronicle.
DeleteWhen a woman wants to divorce her husband, she will paint him in feces and look
Deletefor sympathizers.
That is probably what this poster has done. I like it as Stella wished her "all the best"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I don't think this woman painted the husband evil in anyway
DeleteShe was the bread winner
Was faithful
Had kids with him
Had properties in their name
They were managing a school she built
What did they do??
Conspire against her
To take another wife
One son is not enough
And he agreed to it
Nnem abi nna even without hearing from the man
As long as he agreed to take another wife???
That was evil!!!!
I pray God to see her through.
She even said he was a good husband and father, fear God oh you this person.
DeleteWhy are you like this? What more do you want her to do? Kill herself or lose It all in the marriage because God hates divorce??? Mstchew.
No be you again??
DeleteJudgemental sadist, women hater.
@16:44
DeleteTypical pity-party goers.
Your list was all she told you.
She needed sympathizers and supporters
to effect her divorce and she got you all
in tow! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
This MUMU is always quoting scriptures but has little or no understanding of it. Adultery is a scriptural ground for divorce, Jesus himself said it. Her husband was already dating the new girl his family found for him in the village or did you not read her chronicle?
DeleteClose that your mouth please, there is no way any sensible person will remain in such marriage.
Delete@Jay/Chy
DeleteAll of you are quoting what she told you, the husband covered with feces
that she painted? Oho
In sharing the scriptures and your views,you need to learn love,sensitivity and wisdom. Jesus never put out the gospel the way you do..He walked with the worst of sinners and got them to be disciples. You come across as always always condemning. Learn love
Delete@18:33
DeleteWhat you call "condemnation" is sharing Scriptures.
The Word of God is a Sword, learn it, practice it, repent so
that it does not cut you when you read it.
Yes our views are based on her account of events in her marriage.
DeleteIf she lied to gain sympathy, let God be the one to judge her not you. He sees and knows everything.
Meanwhile, If It were a man that sent in this Chronicle, would your comment remain the same? Would you have been itching to hear the other side? No you won't, you would have been shouting Naija girls yen yen yen all over the post.
You are an absolute joke my dear. It is not by quoting scriptures because even the devil is a professional in that.
ang, learn to reason well... what does she gain by lying about him cheating on her to a bunch of strangers just to be able to divorce him? you're not reasoning well at all. please go back and read her original chronicle. i think your advice to her then was to speak to her husband about what happened. she chose not to do that because she doesnt want to be with someone that could betray her so badly. i dont think the decision she took is one that anyone can judge. i just pray she is able to forgive him and his family for what they did to her.
Delete@20:31
DeleteThanks for mentioning what I advised her then. Let me write it here again;
What to do? Open up to him what you know is going on without telling him how you got to know. If he presses, tell him that your "God is a living God...and he should watch his back because those same people scheming with him in the village are working against him".
Keep calm and watch his fingers burnt and he will come to his senses.
God's Grace. 💖💖🤗🤗🤗🤗
You see, she did not want to have a conversation with her husband because she had made up her mind
to "castrate and divorce him" from the outset.
Too bad. No effort at all to safeguard her marriage.
Her husband had an intention to marry another lady
So did she have an intention to castrate him. So?
The point here is, she did not make any effort to safeguard her marriage at all.
All the best ma. U will pull through. They are very ungrateful people. They should use his 60k salary and marry another woman
ReplyDelete@17:30..May God redeem you,please do you want this woman's blood to see she's been a good wife who doesn't hide her money like you always chant( husband and wife should have same purse).. If only you know what your judgmental attitude can do to someone who is already down.
DeleteYou're too judgemental abeg and you forgot the part she said her horseband was planning on taking another wife..Who do you this thing? well if you support her husband may your daughters marry such men.
Please say amen as for me I already said this prayer before thinking of typing this and I said a big AMEN to that..
Your comment PAINED me because this poster have almost same story as my aunt,my mom (her big sis) including several others warned her to leave the marriage but because of people like you she stayed back and today she's no more (she died 2008), guess what her husband and his second wife ate and still eating off all she laboured for..May God forgive you and show you what Christianity is all about..I HATE you
It's people like Ang that make people distaste religion.
Delete@Bekeee
DeleteYou hate me...? and that without cause?
You brought my daughter into it and cursed them?
And you are the Christian here?
God bless you and all yours.
You did not read this story from the beginning.
Yes, the husband planned to take another wife.
She planned to castrate him (using her medical knowledge)
Both are deadly plans, aren't they? Still at the level of planning.
Did you read the advice I gave her which I copied and pasted above?
She made no effort to have a dialogue with the husband, did she?
You don't judge a person without hearing from that person, no court of law
does that. You all did it, this lady did it.
Let's see the Scriptures, which she said she has searched...
John 7:51 "Does our law condemn a man without hearing from him?"
If a man had written this about his wife, all of you will be chanting
"give her another chance..." won't you?
Thanks for reading and for hating me. 😘😘😘😘😘😘
Lol but you condemn without hearing from the person.
DeleteYou condemn and draw conclusions in your head.
You deduced she was lying to gain sympathy.
Always contradicting yourself, what a Christian.
She saw evidence and she didn't want a dialogue. She wasn't interested ok, let her be.
@anon 02:53, I don’t know why Stella swallowed my comment but let me restate and reiterate that you are a total, absolute and complete BASTARD.
DeleteI hope you don’t EVER have female children and I pray no young woman ever encounters you for your stale, stupid and toxic advice. Again you are a bastard.
Madam, you live in naija. Please be careful.. get extra security. I pray he gives you back the children when they visit on his 30% share. Get security. Someone who could plan to take a 2nd wife behind your back could also plan to kill you since his paycheck is now gone. Be wise!! You live in naija.. if it was in a civilized country, I would not be worried. Watch him first before giving him 70-30. May be too late now because you already presented the papers
ReplyDeleteExactly I agree with you
DeleteWas it not in a civilised country, a pastor killed his wife?
Delete70-30 Custody
DeleteYes you still have to be careful poster since you still have to come in contact with him because of the kids.
DeleteVery true.
DeleteI agree with you...and above all, God's ultimate security be upon you and your kids, madam. Pray, pray and pray the more.
DeleteOn a second thought, if not for her job, i would have suggested this woman leaves this country/relocates abroad for now with her kids.
God be with you madam. It's not easy but God will make it easy for you with time.
Poster u remind me of myself. Circumstances almost similar. May God help us all. Amen!!
DeleteAnon 22:18 please tell us what happened in your case. How did you handle it?
DeleteYou did well ma’am.
ReplyDeleteYou will not be put to shame.
May God direct and guide you. Thank God you found out early because the Devil would have pushed you to either kill him or harm yourself.
ReplyDeleteLove will find you but not now. Jesus cares... Even if you stayed in that marriage, they might kill you one day.
This is one of the ups and downs of marriage, may God help, protect and deliver all the married people and intended ones too. Amen.
Thank God that she could take care of herself and kids.
DeleteKia! May God help you.
ReplyDelete😥 So sorry Poster.
ReplyDeleteI can see how hard this decision is and the toll is taking on you, bit like you said, in the long run, you will be miserable if you stayed.
Take hear oo, May God give you strength and courage, wisdom for this next level of your life, and also help your children.
😘😘😘🤗🤗🤗
i pray God gives you a heart of forgiveness. You seem like someone who keeps a record of wrongs. So my prayer is God gives you grace to forgive. To receive forgiveness and mercy, you need to be forgiving and merciful. All the best.
ReplyDeleteReally! You already know she keeps record of wrongs? That is why people don't share their stories cause of people like you..With 20 marks, share 10 reasons why she does not forgive..Time limit 5 mintues..Answer all my questions
DeleteYou can forgive without getting yourself entangled in a mess.
DeleteShe has forgiven and moved on.
15:57 Don't make me pray something similar happens to you.
DeleteWhy attacking me for sharing my opinion?
DeleteGod exposed these people to this poster and rather than carrying out the bible's guidance for resolving disputes - she cut them all off even when they were coming to her pleading and asking forgiveness. Did you not read that she is still not ready to hear what they have to say? Is that someone who has forgiven to you?
With the merciful God shows himself merciful. If God treated us who have done far worse than what this man has done, will we even be standing? Yet God continues to show us mercy.
I am not saying she should stay married to him oo and i dont judge her for her decision at all - he cheated, the bible says this is reason for divorce
BUT based on everything she has said there - if he truly was a great husband and a great father as she claims, should he not have received mercy once she let him know what was up? his family who she was close to, once they reached out to her, should she not have spoken to them?
Most of you are praising her for her decision but who knows if she had not addressed this with him and both of them begun doing counselling, that their marriage could have healed?
It is indeed a blessing to be in a loving relationship and if she knows he was a good husband, this decision she has taken in her hurt and anger, she may seriously regret later.
sounds like she is still wounded by what has happened and i pray she can truly forgive him and also forgive his family.
Of course, I may be wrong, but that is how it sounds to me and that is my prayer for her, that she receives grace to forgive and shows mercy. You can pray your own prayer for her, that I pray God will answer according to His good will and mercy for her life.
some part of me wants you to take back the house too, please even if you give him the house make sure it's still in your name or your children name. Wicked family, believe you will still find happiness with your self soon as time goes by, watch your movement and children for security purpose.
ReplyDeleteLeft for me she shouldn't have given him the house, he should go and rent house with his 60k and marry his wife. Evu.
DeleteSee how he used his own hands to spoil his beautiful marriage. He has what any wise man will die for but he misused it. What a pity!
ReplyDeleteEwoooo ..Nne. You will be fine.
ReplyDeleteSending you ehugs. .
I love when woman have their own money eeh..Some decisions become easy and effortless to make.
Anon, chop kiss. I am still waiting for the "leaving your home for another woman gang" or is it that their advice only thrives when the wife is in poverty? I love her courage to take a difficult decision, some will advice you to start acting "nwunyedi drama" with a silly young girl living off your sweat. If I hear!!!
DeleteGbam!
DeleteBoth of you correct.
May God continue to bless her kind heart, may we NEVER marry our enemies, Amen.
God!!! God bless your family.. God bless them for sticking by you all through and not trying to choke you with advices of endurance and suffering! God bless you too for knowing what's best for you and going by it and you won't ever be shamed.
ReplyDeleteForward forever 🥂
I agree with you Rajab💯
DeleteHer family is realistic.
And her being financially independent sure her to be decisive and determined in her action.
God will never allow us to be shamed at all.
Aameen ooo @exceptionalmum
DeleteThe Lord is your strength madam. Now he is free to marry more wives and have more children to please his parents!
ReplyDeletePoster, I really understand how you feel but your decision is the best.
ReplyDeleteThe trust in your marriage has been marred by your hubby. He doesn't deserve you.
After all you did for him and his family, they decided to pay you with such back stabbing.
Do not let them make you feel you didn't do enough by not been 100% involved in their family activities.
You are a busy woman. A very busy woman at that. They should understand. At least you made up for your little involvement by helping them financially.
My dear e-hugs to you. You will be fine by God's grace.
Take your time, you shall find happiness again.❤❤🤗
E-hugs to you madam🤗🤗🤗,you made a wise decision,God be with you.
ReplyDeleteSome men will never know what they have until they lose it.
God will guide and direct you ma, it is well madam
ReplyDeletePoster I wish you all the best in life, you've made your choice.
ReplyDeleteI pray God directs you on what next to do.
It will work for your own good , he can't eat from both sides of his mouth.I wish you lots of love
ReplyDeleteThank God for you poster. May God give you peace.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteThank you for giving me the courage to do the needful
It will be done and Stella will read from me soon!
But for now I will play along!
☺
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best.
Dear Poster, I pray for strength and peace for you. I pray you find happiness
ReplyDeleteI’m not too happy how you ended so clinically I guess your medical profession came into play. Anyway all the best. What is destroyed can still be repaired. All the best dear
ReplyDeleteMy own in-laws did worse but I still forgave them. For the children sake.
ReplyDeletePlease both of you made the right decisions and Please don't compare your own with her..Everyone with their own level of strength
Delete16.23 do you have a co wife?if your answer is yes, then I crown you the epitome of forgiveness 1 of the whole wide world.
DeleteLmao. Biggest lie you've told yourself. Even the children would advise you to do this. Keep forgiving and staying with people who would be happy to see you dead. The bible says we should be wise as serpents.
DeleteAnon 16.23 I doubt if you have money and financiallyindependent like this poster.
DeleteMost Nigerians wives like to form humble and forgiving because they are broke.
Please congratulate the poster on her wise decision and pray God comes through for you too.
A million likes Yvonne. This Chronicle reiterates the importance of financial independence. Women hustle! Most of you forgive your randy husbands because you're broke. Big ups poster. You did very well!
DeleteNa that BROKE/PENNILESS dey make some women stay and take every nonsense...
DeleteMy sister's husband died recently from aids, all these PH babes with HIV/aids na God go judge Una cases. Praying for my cousin to be negative o. Amen
Anon: 16:23 Its because you don't have 2 kobo to even rub together that's why now. You don't have one shingbai.
DeleteHow you gonna eat when you depend on a man.
Fuck off with that shit, 'because of the children. Using kids to cover up for your fears and inadequacies and gross financial dependence.
Grown some balls women, become financially independent and these idiotiv Nigerian men will treat you with some respect.
Poster, cheers to you. Women need to stand their ground and know EXACTLY how they should be treated. With love and respect. Not all those oyomikomiko stories every day.
❤❤❤
ReplyDeleteYou are a wise woman. I pray for God's protection on you always
ReplyDeleteGood moves madam, but please be careful security-wise. Move closer to God, and make HIM your protector. Furthermore, ensure the custody agreement is foolproof.
ReplyDeleteThis 70-30 custody scares me. He might take the children and run.
ReplyDeleteHe can't even take care of the children financially, if poster wanted to fight dirty, the man is finished and will never have any shared custody. This custody won't even last, by the time the man gets remarried, he won't have time or the new wife won't want them around.
DeletePoster, imagine frustration led you into killing him and ending in jail, only so would you appreciate you current decision.
ReplyDeleteGod will come through for you, within the next 2-5 years,you would v recovered from the divorce.
Your decision remains the best in my opinion because those useless in-laws could have also killed you just to have access to your money.
I respect your resolve and decision. No need pretending that all is well.
ReplyDeleteJust see how parents destroys their children's life with too much of control. I hope they will be happy destroying their son's life
No one destroyed his marriage.
DeleteHe destroyed his marriage. If he was loyal to his wife and ignore his people they would have gotten tired and left him.
He single handedly destroyed his marriage.
DeleteHow can you have 3 kids and still be looking for what is not lost?? What was wrong with telling his family to back off that he wasn't interested in taking another wife?
Such level of betrayal is unimaginable.
This kind of man cannot be trusted. He can even get rid off his wife If push comes to shove.
The husband was/is not matured mentally to have allowed such
DeleteHad it been he knew Jesus Christ, he would have told you and equally rejected their gift.
If its by involvement in family activities, they for don pursue me since for my husband house oo....where is the time biko, except its someone I am very close to
ReplyDeleteI pray that God strengthens you and the children. All will surely end well. He divorced you the moment he went to be with another woman, he broke his marriage vows. Either he was persuaded my his family, friends or the devil, ultimately, it was his decision to make.
ReplyDeleteTake good care of yourself and I'm certain that time will heal the emotional wounds
Poster, I feel you.
ReplyDeleteYou are an exceptional woman. You have done what so many women are so so afraid to do because of...
"What will people say"?
I praise your courage baby girl and I love your calculated moves.
Sweetheart, you will be fine and you will look back in the future and thank yourself for taking such a move.
My e hugs sis.
poster...it is well with you🤗🤗🤗❤
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the update. I'm so proud of you!!! You will have peace of mind. God will give you peace of mind. You didn't do him or his family bad yet they decided to repay you with bad. I like the way you calmly handle matters with matured people from your family.
ReplyDeleteWomen, this is why you should have your own money. You will not take the rubbish wicked men and their families put innocent women through. As for the ANG condemning her for divorce, back off! She's allowed to because her husband decided to be unfaithful.
As for the useless woman who decided to be second wife and wanted to reap where she didn't show, you will be severely dealt with. What a wicked family.
Stella, thank you for the update.
Her punishment is having to manage salary of 60k for a month😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteInside life, I was dating a guy so and he seemed very single and nice. And I tot I would just get pregnant and seal our relationship. Immediately I took in, I informed him,he was so elated that I hugged myself for being smart. Marriage arrangements began, he was so happy. But he said he wanted it low-key which was fine by me, being that I was once married wit a kid. Only to find out the man had a wife of 9years but no issue. The wife was the major sponsor of the home and the man. She says she wants out while the man's ppl are accusing her of not wanting her husband to have a child, I feel for the woman too. And I dnt want to be a second wife, I feel like aborting it but am in my mid forties wit a kid and I look way younger, even older than the man. He lied and still wants me. If I could I will give the wife the pregnancy and get my own home. Poster, I would have said he's ur husband if not for the obvious. Am still thinking and wondering.
ReplyDeleteI advise you to halt the marriage plans. You can arrange with the man's wife to give her the baby and get some settlement if you can bear your baby being brought up by another woman. DO NOT ABORT THAT BABY!!!
DeleteI'm so proud of you poster. You are wise and courageous.
ReplyDeletePlease do not relent in prayers and always be security conscious.
The heart of man is desperately wicked.
I would remember you and your kids in prayers.
E-hugs
I hate divorce stories..it's sad though.. but I wish you God's strength to pull through in this new phase of your life.. all will be well madam.
ReplyDeleteEven in your hurt,you were still kind.
ReplyDeleteTee
No good decision comes easy!Am so proud of you Sis. Pls be upright and I pray God make you smile soon.
ReplyDeleteThank God for giving you the grace to challenge him and move on. May God see you through
ReplyDeleteIs the house you left him in your name?
ReplyDeleteDear Brave Woman,
ReplyDeleteYou scared me a bit when you said, "the update might not be an interesting one." I thought you had taken the wrong decision by pretending it wasn't happening. I read your post and was very relieved that you did the right thing. Understandably, you will be worried if this was the best decision, but as you rightly said, you can never be happy with him knowing what you know.
I applaud your courage, your sincerity to yourself and even taking the difficult but needed decision of having him in your children's lives. Just know this, you will smile again and be happy again. You did what most women want to do but don't have the resources to do. I always say that every woman (and man) should earn enough to take good care of the kids and themselves singlehandedly. Not just for divorce cases but even for the death of a spouse.
Please take it one day at a time. Discover what makes you smile again. Do something new. Fight to find your joy again. I am happy for the kind of family you have. They know what's best for you and took steps to make it happen.
As for your in-laws, they didn't think you were not involved enough when you gave them money. They even accepted to manage your school. They are just greedy lots who God exposed. How will you make the money they so easily enjoy if you had time to be cooking for family occasions? Please know that their excuse is not your fault. There are women who are not as busy as you are, but their husband makes his family understand his wife will not participate in that kind of chores. He may offer to pay for a professional service on behalf of his wife sef. They should go sit down jare.
As a Christian myself, I know a lot of people will judge you (as you must have seen in the comments already). Please be at peace, knowing that God will not want you to live a miserable life. You cannot control other people’s action. You can only decide how you react to it. God doesn’t just read people’s story and judge, He sees the heart, knows the truth and loves you. People can claim you lied and all in your story but the only person’s opinion that matters is God’s, yours and your kid’s. I wish you the best as you start this new journey.
Best comment ever!!!
Delete@anon 20:16 you took the words right out of my mouth. God bless you
DeleteDear poster, regardless of the negative comments or judgments you will get or see, sweetheart it doesnt matter.
Find your happiness, make your children happy, be yourself and enjoy yourself darling. Trust me, you dont need to adjust, the world will adjust for you.
You have done what most women couldn't do. You did it for your sanity and for your children.
Thank you for being a brave, beautiful and strong woman.
You are approaching 40 and they say life begins at 40, who knows, you could find love again.
I dont know you but I am proud of you.
Kisses from my heart
Your are really a strong woman. I would even prefer her allowing the man to stay for a stipulated period in the house then she can sell off the house. So that him and his new wife would eat sand. Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish...
ReplyDeleteYou are a very brave and strong woman. Kudos to your family, God bless them real good. Don't worry, you will be fine because God got you. E-hugs.
ReplyDeleteHow was a family of 5 living off a salary of 1.1M month AND still buy all this property. I earn 17M per annum and I'm single and I barely can buy decent land in Lagos that's not in Ibeju Lekki. I am strict with my spending, I limit ALL my expenses (including money for my parents, food, travel incidentals) to 300k/ month and save the rest and I want the poster to share tips on how she paid bills, school fees, food and support in laws and still invest in real estate. Please o, teach us
ReplyDeleteShe is a consultant n will be paid for her consultancy in different hospitals.The 1million is just her monthly salary in a federal hospital.as u said u limit all your expenses but she is a giver n bigger doors will be open for her cos of act of charity.dey there and be comparing yourself with a child of the most high,living for charity.
DeleteAnon 23:57, did u say, u re single? Pls get in touch with me, e get why. Kisses...LS. just reply wit an ID.
DeleteYou are a spendthrift and wasteful. If you earn this much with no property to your name and you are single, you need to go for deliverance.
DeleteChai,I was seriously waiting to hear from this poster about her decision.Poster I would have preferred you gave him a second chance to correct his mistake since you stated that he was a good husband and father but nevertheless, your decision is your decision since you are the one wearing the shoe.please poster try and stay far away from him cos they might want to harm you. All the best in all you do.
ReplyDeleteTrust me the man and his family would have killed her, none of them loved her, they are just there for her money, can you imagine saying, one boy is not enough to inherit the property, so the boys from another woman will come and inherit her own sweat. And it's not as if they didn't know that all the properties came from her.So they were originally set to kill her.
DeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteDid you catch your husband in adultery or in intending adultery?
If the answer the the above question is either no or intending adultery.
Then you have no basis from the scriptures to divorce this man. No matter
what anyone says. God will judge you.
The very act of planning to marry another wife is adultery.
DeleteGod will judge you too as this is all you can say after knowing the circumstances
DeleteOnukwu!your own judgement have already started by being brainless.
DeleteWe have heard you.
DeleteAssistant Jesus, please allow God to do the judging. HE doesn't need you to prompt HIM.
How about the lady's act of planning to castrate the man? I am asking anonymous 5:22
DeleteI am sure it’s his mother that pushed that nonsense. Pure greed, seeing that they couldn’t control you. So they wanted to destroy you by destroying what they thought you held dear. Women are women’s problems o! If an older, dependent and miserable woman see’s a younger, independent, smart and put together woman. Who seems to have all her priorities straight in life, they become envious and jealous. They will do everything to destroy that.
ReplyDeleteThey want you to be as miserable and long suffering as them and they want to control you to HUMBLE you! I am glad you left that useless family because next time they will advise him to kill you to secure the money and kids. Can you imagine a family where the parents are so comfortable to advise their son to run such a scheme against his own wife? You miss road with in-laws sha. Your husband is a fool and a dumbass. Our parents are selfish and mostly thinking of themselves. Once you leave home, most are bored and looking for opportunity to meddle and feel important. You need to have the spirit of discernment and make sure there are boundaries with family relationships.
If he wanted you to attend more family functions and try for another boy, simple communication. But he wanted to eat his cake and have it! He was excited when his family even brought up the idea, thereby making it easier to cheat. I am sure this is not his first cheating escapade!
Just got an id after more than six years of dedicated reading. Hello Beeveelons. Great job you do Stella. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteDear poster,
It's time for you to finally live please live to the fullest. Congratulations are in order. Your ex is such a loser.
Imagine that! Angry because you don't attend family functions cos you were too busy making the money they are spending and he was even planning to marry another wife with your money.Chai.
ReplyDelete600 years of enjoyment for that informant o jare
I am so sad right now, to think I rushed to the chapel to pray for your marriage. I never felt the way I feel after reading your Chronicle. Oh I weeped for your marriage asking God to soften your heart and help you to forgive him but reading this just saddens my heart.
ReplyDeleteBut I wish you all the best in your decision.
Which marriage?
DeleteI'm happy for this update, been on the look out for it. Thank God you took the right step and at the right time without wasting time(Clinically smart .Lol)May God give you the strength to move on, be happy hon, you will be fine. Your pure heart exposed him and his family. Watch your back though and be security conscious. God's protection be on you and your kids. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI'm indifferent about her decision those family was evil but there should have been a room for reconciliation when he begged. I wish you all the best ma.
ReplyDeletePlease poster these people will kill you if you go back to that sham of marriage, don't mind all these people blaming you
ReplyDeletePoster, please can you give this man a second chance?.Please i beg you, if he is so ready to terminate his plans to marry another woman.And as long as the woman isn't pregnant for him yet,I ask please do give him a second chance..
ReplyDeleteNothing is too late, you can disagree to agree.I like your personality poster.
U want her to jus die carelessly jus like that cos of marriage.tufia!.The reason why God gave us sense is so that we wont be senseless.u can go and marry the husband.women instinct is so powerful that we can ever imagine.it's jus God that exposed this to her so she can take actions believe it or not.Not every woman is alive to tell their own story.
ReplyDelete@Poster, You are a brave woman, I applaud you for being smart enough to know the right decisions to take.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story, so many lessons to learn from it. God bless and protect you and your kids.
This is the best update I have read on a long while. I wish I know you personally I would have given you a very long hug because you deserve it. You a very unique soul that deserves to be truly appreciated and loved. You will survive and years from now you will glad you made the right decision.
ReplyDeleteHe destroyed his marriage not you. Don't ever blame yourself for it. Our sweet Jesus loves you and he truly wanted to know of not the secret messager wouldn't have sent you the message in the first place. You will find peace and happiness nu. Much love from here.