STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNDER PRESSURE TO MARRY
Please how do i handle it when family and friends keep mocking and asking me to bring husband? I'm 27 and it's getting to me alot.. I don't even sleep anymore, I'm feeling like a failure because I'm not married at my age.. I don't know what to do::::
Please how do i handle it when family and friends keep mocking and asking me to bring husband? I'm 27 and it's getting to me alot.. I don't even sleep anymore, I'm feeling like a failure because I'm not married at my age.. I don't know what to do::::
*This really upset me reading it...why would anyone pressure anyone to marry?is Marriage now validation for being a woman or what?Please don't let it get to you....you sound like you are almost breaking...
If they perster you again by asking when you will marry,please tell them you will Marry when you see a husband.
Dont let them break you or make you feel like you are a failure..............
My dear chill, my sister married at the age of 30 while I married at 24. Everybody got their own time. Today shes happier than me in marriage. Cool down and God will send a man that is yours.
ReplyDeleteThat is what they do in Naija. Imagine what older women are passing through. Try to take your mind off it poster and focus on the things that make your life beautiful. It will happen......... Don't be desperate.
DeleteNawa o!
DeleteIt's their way in Nigeria. People popping questions and giving unsolicited advices and not minding how it would affect the person...
DeletePlease, poster, tell them to leave you alone. Do not put your self under any pressure...
This is how they will pressure someone so much and the person ends up picking the wrong partner....
That's how a relative of mine was pressured by her father. She finally married a jobless man...she is the one paying rent and school fees even bought TV for him to be watching while he is at home and still won't allow her watch when she comes back.
DeleteNow no money to help her father cos the man is busy spending it. I forgot to add he is yet to pay bride price as we speak.
Do not let anyone pressure you. God's time is truly the best. Trust him
I think it was on SDK I read that someone that was being pestered with such questions told the last asking to die so she can marry her husband and that put a stop to the questions. It sounds strange but if it has gotten to the stage where you can't sleep, you could try it too.
DeleteAswear this marriage ish is not funny o. I pray God gives you with a good man.
DeleteI am 33 and my mother has declared war on me for not being married. Tells my younger ones I nursed when they were babies to disrespect me that I am failure as a woman. This woman in question is currently separated from my dad. The last time I saw her genuinely laugh with my dad I was 10years old. Before her separation, the home was war. Yet she couldn't learn from her experience. I don't go home again because of her. Some mothers are not it. I refuse to break
DeleteSee my twin here,I'm tired of people throwing sub to me over this marriage thing,the funny thing is those that mount pressure on me don't even a home worth praying for,they just have a home. I know my expectations wouldn't be cut short and my face won't be out to shame.
ReplyDeleteYou’re right about this. People that pressure others to marry are usually very miserable in their lives and marriages. I see it as being so jealous of the single person that they wish they can be single again but can’t so they tow the line of misery loves company by putting pressure on others. Happy people are so occupied with being happy that others being married or not is the least of their worries.
DeletePoster, I once read here of a lady telling another that kept bugging her about marriage that she’s waiting for her to die so she can marry her husband. The miserable lady left her alone after that classic comeback.
Putting pressure on a 27 year old for marriage? 27?...so annoying. Live your life, have fun, improve yourself all around be it through education, business, skills, career e.t.c. God will give you your own husband...just hold onto Him. Marriage is not something you rush into cause if care is not taken, it can make or mar you.
Exactly...same here
DeletePlease do not be pressured that is how some families push their daughters into wrong marriages and they end up being either divorced or even dead. Be strong, ignore and focus on your work. Mr Right will locate you at the appropriate time.
ReplyDeleteBe there living your life based on what peoe are saying.
ReplyDeleteGo out, make money, make new friends, be happy and block your ears from people's opinions.
nawa oo. na u be this?
DeleteThe same Don that calls single ladies over 30 names is the one saying this?
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 @ anons
Deletehahahahahah....@shooter gyal don shoot my guy heart go the appropriate side (left side)...hahahhahahaha!G!
DeleteDon't allow yourself to be pushed or pressured into marriage.
ReplyDeleteBecause when you start crying or regretting, they'll be the ones to say sorry and tell you to bear it. They will never acknowledge the part they played in tying you down to a bad marriage.
Even with a very good man, there are days when you have to be concious about your love and commitment and consistently tell yourself you have to make it work.
Please there is no award for 'first to marry' , take your time, pray , study any man who indicates interest in marrying you and while waiting ENJOY your singlehood cos there will be times when you will miss being single.
Peace ☮️
You are the only one that make it stop. Stop letting it get to you.
ReplyDeleteKnow what you want in life and the kind of man you would love to have for a husband and pray towards it.
Some friends and family are not nice at all. Even the ones who are suffering all kinds of abuse will mock and talk down on you. For them, it's better to suffer in marriage than being single.
Don't let them pressurize you into marring any available man. When the chips are down, you Will suffer it alone. Mins you, these same people will still come around and tell you you didn't choose right.
Whenever they ask why you are not married, tell them husband's don't grow on trees.
Sluttychic.
So sorry dear. Don't allow words get to you easily. Try to be busy and make yourself unavailable. The good Lord will connect you to the right man.
ReplyDeleteTake your time, love will find you, don't rush into marriage and rush out. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteIf they keep asking you , tell them to bring the husband for you 😁
ReplyDeleteDon't let little things like this get to you.
It is wrong to stamped a lady into marriage.
ReplyDeleteWhat you should be doing presently is
to invest you time, soul and resources
in knowing Jesus as you Lord. That is
the most important and enduring relationship.
When you are "married" to Christ, you will understand your life in the first place; whether you are meant to marry (Matt. 19:12), who your husband is (James 1:17, Psalm 85:12).
You will have peace in the midst of such persuasion and joy that passes all understanding.
Just like I have peace here in spite of being nailed to the cross
everyday.
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
There are more to life than marriage so don't give in to them,
ReplyDeleteIf they are mocking and mounting pressure on you at 27, I wonder what they would do when you hit 30 and still single.
ReplyDeleteDid you say you don't sleep anymore? Why? Pressure to get married?
Tell them you want to get married but they should take some chill pills and pray that God should provide a husband for you.
Dis is so me only difference is dt my family are born again christains. So dey dont pressure mi instead we pray about it. God wud do it at his time. Cnt bother myslf on tins i av no control over biko
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful I don't experience this pressure of a thing from my family. Me that easily get depressed. I'm 28, just constantly hoping for a good job and a good man. All my friends from my circle Don marry and had their babies this year.
ReplyDeleteAnon 15:15 everything will fall in right places for you.God has good plans for you. Don't give up
DeleteNa wahoo!!! @27? This is becoming serious in this part of our world.
ReplyDeletePoster don't let anyone force you into a marriage that you won't have peace. Leave your life and achieve all the goals you have set for yourself. Husband will come and even if it doesn't come now, at God's appointed it will happen.
It’s well dear ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteIt's the tradition in Nigeria and it's very pathetic,I hope and pray to bring about a change on this in the nearest future,a society where our young girls will feel confident in themselves regardless of their age,and won't be pressured into getting married but will do so at their own time and pace,a society where our girls will be career/destiny oriented and not only marriage oriented,a society were our girls would be more concerned about making an impact and not only getting married#ipray
ReplyDelete🙌🙌🙌
DeleteYou will be surprised that this issue of being pressurised into marriage and shaming singletons is not peculiar to Nigeria, in fact this happens in most parts of the world, albeit some cultures are more subtle than others in mocking, shaming and pressurising singletons. Women TTC are not exempted too! One has got to be strong and not let society define who they are.
DeleteAsk them when are they dying?
ReplyDeleteThey will leave you alone. No late comer in anything in life. It will happen at God's time
So you can actually look grown older family members in the eye and ask them when they are dying?
DeleteOkay.
I tire o. Stella well said jare.
ReplyDeletePoster you don't have to handle anything. Unless you're still dependent on anyone of them please stay away from negativity. If possible change locations and your phone number.
ReplyDeleteWhile marriage is a blessing, it is not an ultimate. Please focus on yourself. The right person will come at the right time
👍👍👍 @"If possible change locations and your phone number".
DeleteThats so me! I even block and delete people that disturb my peace of mind - relations, family...and foes.
Abeg is it mandatory everyone must marry? Marriage na by force?
ReplyDeleteAsk them to supply the husband for you, you are ready to sell asoebi..
ReplyDeleteYou should be able to stand up for yourself. You can't let people stomp on you. If you can't stand up for yourself as a single, how would you be able to stand Tall when marriage breaks you.. Better speak to yourself.
Don't let whatever they say get to you. Or better still, they should help you mould a husband. You're still young and should be living your best life.
ReplyDeletePoster, there is nothing like failure in that, please don't rush into what they asked you to do, calm down and pray to God about it ....
ReplyDeleteThe family and friends that are pressurize you are they the one that will sponsor ur wedding,
Please, don't let anyone pressure you. Inasmuch as it is always adviced to make hay when the sun shines the truth of the matter is there is something called 'God's time' and no matter how you run, it will happen only when God wants it to happen else you run into a marriage he didn't send you and run out in a blink of an eye. People may tell you, you are geeting old but look, there are some people God has written it down they won't get married till a particular age. So don't let anyone tell you, you are getting to 30. Stop comparing yourself to others. Your life, destiny, future and goals differ. After all said and done, when God say you will marry is when you will that is if you are living your life according to his will and letting him be the driver of your life. These things goes beyond the ordinary eye. God may be preparing the man for you or you for him. Sometimes The man may even be in a relationship that God knows isn't leading anywhere and he needs to get out of the way before you meet or some aspect of his life needs a thorough overhaul or there are still some aspects of your life you don't know about that God is working on which may affect the union he has in store for you if care isn't taken. When God is making you wait he is working behind the scenes getting rid of impeding loopholes that may surface in the future if not taken care of. Live your life, serve God be happy and sociable and it will happen in God's time. When you lray ladies, pray for your future spouse wherever he is. Don't Wait till you meet him. You exist he also exist somewhere.
ReplyDeleteSabella 👍💯%
DeleteThis chronicle is a LIE. Poster no one is pressuring you to get married. You are the one putting yourself into pressure. Your last statement sold you out. You are already feeling like a failure because you are not married at your age. If you are an SDK BV and still feel this way. Sorry for you. If you get married today. What next?. What are you taking into that marriage. Don't know why am angry with this poster.
ReplyDeleteThere are more to life than allowing a fellow human pressure you. They are not pressuring you to make more money and be an independent woman. Its to get married. What?. Take a stand. Put anyone who puts you under pressure to get married to his or her place. I don't care if na mother or father. Are you the one getting married or them? How old did you say you are again?/ Please stop that crab and take a stand. Block them. Get your own accommodation if you don't have any. Get a job if you don't have any learn a trade if you don't have any. Marriage is not all about sex oo. Forget what you heard. After the wedding night. Real marriage starts.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I'm 34, no relationship, no boyfriend, but I'm good, the most important thing is, I'm working!!! Paying my bills, no pressure whatsoever because I don't even let what they say get to me.
ReplyDeleteYeah I pray 🙏 about having a life partner, but while at it, I live my babygirl's life.
Y.
Hmm is d poster my twin sister? My mum was even telling me a prophetess said she should bring 50k to her for prayers so dat I can get a gud man. I am just 25yrs. I warned my mum not to drop 50k bcus if i get a gud man today she will say it is her 50k dat provide the miracle. Wots wrong with Africans and marriage self. This is why i prefer the western world than Africa. If Oprah Winfrey was in Nigeria. She will av been skinned alive for not getting married at her age. Pressure to get married has led to many single ladies going into diabolical means. Trust God and he will show up for u. I am also trusting God.
ReplyDeleteFunny you mentioned Oprah. I used to know a guy that was soooo angry at Oprah for having all that money but not married. He couldn’t imagine a woman being that wealthy with no man “in control” of the wealth. He called her names and I told him he was pathetic. US is not Nigeria where a 21 year old lady is pressured into the marriage and by the time some of them are 30 they look 190.
DeleteNatasha why won't your mum pressure you into marriage when on another post you said it's the man's place as the head of the family to earn money while the wife can only earn when the husband can no longer earn money.
DeleteYou are obviously a liability and your mum wants to quickly offload you. If you are earning your keep and helping your parents, they would know that you are an asset and a good man would see your worth and marry you at the right time.
Simply ask them when will they die, is it not their mates that is dying?
ReplyDeleteAbi o.
DeleteNa so them Wan finish my sister with marriage talk. To the extent they said she exchanged her marriage for wealth in a coven. She didn't even worry because my parents weren't even bothered. Now she's married with kids.
One relative even said she will soon reach menopause and she's still single. That same woman's daughter has a son now that no one knows the father.
If you like Keep bothering yourself and let them keep pressuring you,if you love yourself ,live each day as it comes, when it's time,it will happen.
ReplyDeletePoster take it easy and make yourself happy. No amount of pressure should make you succumb to their bidding. Marriage is deep and a long journey that you cannot press rewind to you. Build yourself, take up courses, groom yourself, smile, make friends. Life is more than marriage. Love finds you when you are not searching. Be yourself and your God ordained man will locate you. Dont fret. All the best
ReplyDeletePlease change your environment! Start learning a new skill. Take up an online course. Distance yourself from your tormentors! That's how they push people into wahala.
ReplyDeleteAt 27 you are still young and should use this time to build yourself spiritually,mentally and financially for marriage.. do not get carried by the 'urges' from families and friends.. please be guided.
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel because I'm currently going through same challenge.Just be positive and hopeful,God is still on the throne and he will answer our prayer at our own stipulated time.God will do it when it will befit us most.I have friends who are happily married with kids while I have some who are are divorced at age 30.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, it is not how early you get married oo. I have stated it here before, I got married at 25, the marriage was technically over by 28. I remarried at 40yrs and it's been like heaven ever since. You better calm down and don't let anybody push you into unhappiness.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry o but it is illiterate families that pressure their kids to marry.Anyone with his or her senses would understand that marriage is not something you rush people into.
ReplyDeleteCan you move out of that environment and limit contact with them?
ReplyDeleteSorry sis.
ReplyDeleteStop putting yourself under undue pressure, b4 you marry ask yourself whether you can adequately provide and foot your bills b4 going into a man house, are you spiritually and emotionally mature to enter marriage? Or is it the illusion of the wedding gown and wedding ring that is itching you?
ReplyDeleteYou did not state what you do for a living.How can you say u are under pressure to marry @27?.what happens next after marriage
ReplyDeleteI got married at 32 my dear .My kid sis got married at 26.Too sad shes in a sham called marriage .My Parents tell me they wish my sisters had a husband like mine .No need to rush my sister. shine your eyes,Do not be desperate I beg you .Marrying a Bad husband is a life killer God bless and guide you .Amen
ReplyDelete